Did you ever feel...

[IanBorthwick]

like you can do nothing right? It happens to me lot. Rarely do I actually do something counter a person's wishes or what they need...but when I do it feels like the person is trying to punish me for not staying in a place, both in life and in station, enough.

On a webpage I write for, people come to me for advice...and have for many years. The ages vary from 15-38 at one time...and the advice is vast in nature I am asked for. Odd thing, I was told that, in certainly different words, I am fine for helping people through little things but the big issues are too much for me. Then, with that in mind, I was whipped with knowledge I don't even handle that well.

Some time ago I was asked why I do it, so I posted why. Seems stupid, now I realize it is. The same person told me I was trying to be a hero, to do something for them so they would look up to me. This is NOT even close to being so. Looking deep in myself I know it's because I can do one thing really, really well. I can give information and make pretty good judgement calls when I am not emotionally involved.

Have to get back to the detachment point in life. No attachments to these people or I lose objectivity.

Ok..with that in mind, I realize some people who read this may think I am referring to THEM. That's not true, so please forgive me if it seems like it's directed at you, it's not.

[JoyJoyHollywood]

You know that if you take a poll right now everyone is going to tell you that they have felt the same way. Everyone.

As for helping people with little things, to that I say HA! It's easy to face to face only a few major problems and fix them. But little problems? Constantly? Those are actually harder-because you don't get the thanks for rushing into a burning building and saving someone. You don't have one crisis to look back on and say-"That was it. If for the rest of my life I never do anything I will always have that and know that I did something."

Little problems don't give you thanks and are considered unimportant in the grand scheme of things. But, if the people who solve the little problems of the world stopped solving them, if one day they were gone-then parts of the world would not be able to function. Because there is no one there to pick up all the broken little pieces and take on the "mundane" task of reassembling them.

And it's easy to hurt people by showing them what they don't know, but harder to teach them and sit back and let them mature and grow with more knowledge. Which do you think is better?

It's the people who work in the background of the world who keep it functioning everyday. Not the people in the spotlight.

And what would you rather have? The beautiful human ability to become attached, or miss out on having it. Just because cold people don't feel cold, doesn't mean they are enhanced by the ability.

[akeeper]

I have to agree with you. There have been many times that I have felt like I could not be any good to anybody. However, deep in my heart, I knew that I could accomplish anything that anybody else could accomplish; at least the normal stuff anyway.
I have been able to cope by maintaining a positive attitude and sticking to my believes even in the face of stupidity. There have been many times when I wanted to end it but I knew that if it was this bad, it can only get better.
There are still times when I feel that I am no good. Then I remember some of the things I've accomplished that not everybody would be able to accomplish. I don't mean to say that I am any better than anybody else just different. There are certainly things that I can't even dream of doing.
I am a proud member of the sales profession. Sales is the perfect career for me because it requires focus dedication and positive attitude. It allows to forget about some of the negativity. I study the works of various motivational writers which also gives a positive outlook.
I find that people often drag me down so I do not associate much. I must look inward for survival.
I do not know if any of this helps you. I hope I was able to ease your negativity a bit. If you happen to catch me online or you would like to msg me, feel free.

[Herbwoman39]

Every single human being has felt like that at one time or another. When I was in my late 20's right before and right after my divorce, I felt like the world's biggest F-up. I couldn't get a decent job. I worked at McDonald's and tried raising two young boys by myself. It was a version of Hell I wouldn't wish on anyone.

The thing is, I finally got sick of being everyone's whipping girl, pulled myself up by my bootstraps and found a way out. It meant working 7 days a week for 9 months but by damn I got my CNA certification and started working at the hospital. Then I found a job as a nursing assistant in Atlanta and moved.

The point of my long-windedness is that the opinions of others simply does not count in the long run. Only your estimation of your abilities matters. If you know you can help with any problem, then the person who is telling you otherwise can get bent. Anyone who tears you down instead of offering advice about how you might be able to do something better should be blatantly and tacitly ignored.

You don't need other peoples BS, so don't take it.

[SilverFox52]

There is only one person's opinion that matters about how you look, how you behave, what you have acheived and what kind of person you are.

You.

[rissababynta]

in my opinion, the best way to pull yourself back together is to just make up your mind that you are going to be the best person you can be and to hell with other people and their opinions. unfortunately, for some people this is not always easy. some people feel this way for no real reason. i am one of these people and i had my first therapy session when i was around 10 years old because of this. eventually it was decided that medication was needed. such is life :rolleyes:

but like others have said feeling like you can't do anything right is something everyone goes through, and for many is one of the hardest things to go through in life. but, we usually make it out ok in the end. this may sound corny but, think positive. there is a lot a person can do with a positive attitude.

[IanBorthwick]

in my opinion, the best way to pull yourself back together is to just make up your mind that you are going to be the best person you can be and to hell with other people and their opinions. unfortunately, for some people this is not always easy. some people feel this way for no real reason. i am one of these people and i had my first therapy session when i was around 10 years old because of this. eventually it was decided that medication was needed. such is life :rolleyes:

but like others have said feeling like you can't do anything right is something everyone goes through, and for many is one of the hardest things to go through in life. but, we usually make it out ok in the end. this may sound corny but, think positive. there is a lot a person can do with a positive attitude.

Because of the field I work in and the side effects from such drugs, I decided long ago to avoid them for my bouts of depression. Lots of natural things to help me I haven't taken and now I know I should. Also, avoiding when people hit me below the belt for reasons of their own, that always works a charm. It sets me into a spiral downwards that continues to drive me into a funk that affects everything.

WHat annoys me most is people act like I am saying things that are negative when I don't (this really upsets me as they are putting inflection to my text I am not using when I type) or treating me like when I am down they can just tell me to snap out of it and that'll fix it. LOL!

[Gxozi]

Depression is a hard thing to get out of.

And gratitude when doing the everyday 'hero' solving 'little' problems is hard too. But if they didn't appreciate your thoughts, then why are they asking you for advice? I'm sure there are other ways to look at it, but i avoid the negative thoughts, they lead to depression.

Think positive. Sometimes i feel like i can't do anything right, but i have to remind myself of all the things i do well.

good luck,
-Jossie