Chat/Sex

[The Barefoot Contess]

As I said in another post, I am new to this site. I have only used the chat a couple of times, and I wanted to ask those of you who are more familiar with it if my experience is common.
If someone feels insulted by what I am about to say, I apologize in advance. I don't want to make generalizations and/or misjudge people here.
My experience is that most private conversations are invitations to sex. Now, I don't have anything against sex or cybersex or meeting people online (duh), but I don't want to reduce my experience here to sex. I'd like to talk, and get to know people. Maybe I am too traditional, but when someone comes to you and says right from the start "what are you wearing", for me, it is indeed kind of a turnoff. I am not here to make moral judgments, I just want to know if this experience is the usual one and how you guys feel about it.
We have all heard that gay chat rooms are basically to hook up, which might or might not be true, but I was wondering if the same stereotype applies to bi chat rooms.
Thanks a lot.

[billy_campbell]

Yea, there are some jerks in here, but not many. This area is pretty much like the rest of life. Some folks only want to get you in bed and others just want to meet you and share life experiences. I IM with both women and men. Sometimes it is just chatting about our lives, friends interests ect and may not involve cyber sex at all. Sometimes I cyber with both women and men. I never cyber with someone who starts off with crude remarks like what are you wearing or you wanna f***. If I am good mood they get the thanks but no thanks. If in bad mood - well I hope I simply put them on ingore.

Weclome to the site. :2cents::2cents::2cents:

[Skater Boy]

A lot of communication in life has "ulterior motives" behind it. Its just a matter of recognizing what the motives are and responding in an appropriate fashion to each one. Which usually means saying a "yes" or a "no" at some point. I, personally, never use the online chatroom. Partly because of technical difficulties. But also because there's a limit to how much one can discuss before minds wander to the inevitable. Unless you're a very talented conversationalist, which I am not.

[DiamondDog]

Lots of people here use the chat for cybersex and yes there are people there who do want to chat but they're in a small number compared to the people who just want to do cyber sex/X chat and that's why I don't really go to the chat on this site anymore.

[deletetacount123]

I used to chat on the chat forum on this site a lot but then I kept getting bombed with unwanted cyber pm's.... when I said "No Thank you" I would get a "Then why are you here?" comment.

I like the message boards :) Im not bothered with unwanted comments and can freely talk about anything.

To me this site is to get to know people, make friends.... people talk about every day thnings and can ask for advice/suggestions without the fear of being flammed or shut down.

I do wish the chat forum was a bit better tho. Yes you can "block PMs" but then what if your friend wants to talk to you about something they don't want anyone else knowing ? You have to unblock PM requests in order to talk to that friend and be bombed with unwanted pm's.
So I wish chat would have something like a box where you can type in names of people allowed to PM you. That way your not bothered with unwanted "spam"

Tasha

[TaylorMade]

I admit it, sometimes I do have cybersex in chat, but. . . it's only with others who are there for similar purposes, and I have chemistry with. I never press the issue after it's been brought up subtly, I wouldn't want it done to me, so to do it to someone else would not be right, in my estimation.

Not every person who has cybersex is a pushy, drooling pig. :)

*Taylor*

[The Barefoot Contess]

Not every person who has cybersex is a pushy, drooling pig. :)

Absolutely. I am sorry if my post made you think that. As I said, there is nothing wrong with cybersex, and I have it when I feel like it, but, as with most things in life, there is a time and a place for things.

I just wanted to know if that was frequent, that's all. No accusations implied, please. :cool:

[TaylorMade]

Not every person who has cybersex is a pushy, drooling pig. :)

Absolutely. I am sorry if my post made you think that. As I said, there is nothing wrong with cybersex, and I have it when I feel like it, but, as with most things in life, there is a time and a place for things.

I just wanted to know if that was frequent, that's all. No accusations implied, please. :cool:

It really wasn't your post, I guess I threw out the extreme in thought as to people who engage in cybersex. . .my bad. :p

Yeah, some days, you feel like it, some days, ya don't.

*Taylor*

[allbimyself]

DiamondDog, I suggest you come to chat again, maybe at different times than you did previously. To say that people that aren't just in chat for cybersex are in the minority is completely false.

Maybe you're thinking of a different chat?

[the sacred night]

I have had good conversations with people I just met in the chat room, but honestly I do get enough cyber requests as to make the whole experience annoying and not always worth it. There is only one person I've met in the chat room who I still talk to, and we talk elsewhere now. A few other people have talked to me about nonsexual things and I just don't talk to them anymore for other reasons, but the majority of people who speak to me in the chat rooms do so to cyber. I still go in the chat room occasionally, but not often for this reason.

[gb11vt18]

The most important aspect to begin a converstion is to tell the person that you are interested or not interested in cyber sex. For my self I find that it comes and goes, lately I have not had much time to go into the chat room, but I like to go in their and chat with different people and every once in a while cyber, but it depends on the person you can with and with yourself. Just make it clear from the start becausec their are some people on this site that just want a little relief and are done, while others are here for the converstion and the community that this site provides to everyone who joins.

[biwords]

Sometimes, someone I don't know PMs me for cyber, I say no thanks and we go on to have an agreeable conversation. Which isn't that surprising, since loneliness can be just as powerful as horniness in leading people to seek out cyber, IMHO.

[onewhocares]

Ok People......what is wrong with MOI.....I never seem to get many out and out requests for cyber sex. Guess that they know that I am not very good at that. Ok, I did try it once with this poor fella from Ohio. In the end, I told him that If I were like Walmart...and he was paying. HE would be entitled to a full refund and ten percent for his agrivation.

That being said, I must be one of the minority....I actually have made lots of friends in the chat room. Perhaps that is because I listen, am interested and am genuinely concerned about what the other person is interested in.

C'est la vie...........

Belle

[AdamKadmon43]

.......Unless you're a very talented conversationalist, which I am not.
I am very sorry, but I beg to differ with you on that one.

Having read many of your posts in here, I think that you are, indeed, a very talented conversationalist. You seem to have that rare combination of being both witty and wise (not to mention interesting). That, to me, defines "talented conversationalist".

And, Noooooooooo, before you start wondering about it ... There are no alterier motives for my having said that.

And I really do not care what you are wearing.

Adam

[Azrael]

I get bazillions of these. I've had several where i'm like "what's up" and they're like "my cock, lookin at your pix". Or they don't even say hi they just go straight into it. What pisses me off is guys here that tall me I'm a pansy faggot or not a real man cause I'm a bit into feminist writings and am really infuriated by sexism.
Or because i like to wear women's clothing or kiss and be affectionate with guys instead of viewing people as purely objects of my sexual amusement. Fuck that shit, people are not property (unless they want to be, but that's a whole other tangent. I used to get creeped out by it but now I have fun with it and tease 'em a little before I piss off :bigrin:
However, most of the PMing I do is with people I'm familiar with and we just don't feel like dealing with the main room. A few random people have PMed me out of nowhere and turned out to be really fucking cool (DD anyone?). Oh, and skaterboy, I consider you highly articulate, so there :P

Just chalk it up to experience.

[MarieDelta]

What pisses me off is guys here that tall me I'm a pansy faggot or not a real man cause I'm a bit into feminist writings and am really infuriated by sexism.

Just chalk it up to experience.

I'm sorry, just can't see you as any kind of pansy(wimp or whatever)...

I've worked in a kitchen, it's not for the faint of heart at all IMO.

I sometimes get sick of the guys who glom onto me for the pics(which is why my profile is now missing) before they even know me they want sex. Sorry not happening. I need to feel at least a little comfortable with you before we start that.

Anyway just needed to put in my two bits

[Azrael]

I'm sorry, just can't see you as any kind of pansy(wimp or whatever)...

I've worked in a kitchen, it's not for the faint of heart at all IMO.

I sometimes get sick of the guys who glom onto me for the pics(which is why my profile is now missing) before they even know me they want sex. Sorry not happening. I need to feel at least a little comfortable with you before we start that.

Anyway just needed to put in my two bits
Aww, thanks. I worked for an AC/Refrigeration contractor for two years before getting back to cooking. 140 + degree attics. Every day. High Voltage. Fiberglass. Powertools. Critters of all kinds. No fun. I woulda liked to keep going with it, but the homophobia aspect made me so crazy I finally said fuck it and went back to a job where I could be myself. Wouldn't ya know it, I took a 30 % paycut and I'm much happier. Go figure.
I used to wear pink panties under my dickies :bigrin:
My little reminder I wasn't one of em.
I'm neither butch nor bitch. I'm both, and I'm okay with that.
Bipolar, Bisexual, and in case you needed any further evidence...

'The Aramaic Tau'ma: the name "Thomas" itself comes from the Aramaic word for twin: T'oma (תאומא).' -From Wikipedia.

Some call it split personality. I call it balance.

[hudson9]

I think there's a lot of chatting that goes on in the chatroom that's not just cybersex. Most of the Pvt. messaging is probably requests for cyber (either explicitly or aiming that way), but I've had plenty of Pvt. msg. conversations that didn't end up cybersex (OK, and few, anyway... :tong: ) I've also had a few Pvt's that started off in an unappealing way... (I just politely decline, or rarely, need to use the "ignore" button).

[Skater Boy]

I worked for an AC/Refrigeration contractor for two years before getting back to cooking. 140 + degree attics. Every day. High Voltage. Fiberglass. Powertools. Critters of all kinds. No fun. I woulda liked to keep going with it, but the homophobia aspect made me so crazy I finally said fuck it and went back to a job where I could be myself. Wouldn't ya know it, I took a 30 % paycut and I'm much happier. Go figure.

I used to wear pink panties under my dickies :bigrin:
My little reminder I wasn't one of em.
I'm neither butch nor bitch. I'm both, and I'm okay with that.

I know the feeling. Some careers are just too damn hetero. Well, its not really the careers... its the people that do them. I have to admit, it'll be great to finally get back into design instead of woodwork if all goes according to plan. Mind you, even design has a few homophobes these days.

I admire your comfort with your own butch/bitch dichotomy... I'm still coming to terms with it myself.

[Azrael]

I admire your comfort with your own butch/bitch dichotomy... I'm still coming to terms with it myself.
Thanks for that, sir. I'm always around if u need to talk, and that's a promise :yinyang:
I didn't get to this point overnight. Took several agonizing years of self examination and introspection. Nothing worthwhile is easy.

[ForbiddenWindow]

Pretty much everybody else has summed up what I was just about to say. For those who appreciate chat and know how to respect other users is totally awesome by my standards.

But for those that whore themselves off....Kinda lights my dynamyte stick.

Excuse me but I expect to be treated with respect.

Thanks for all those who understand...

[Michael623]

Pretty much everybody else has summed up what I was just about to say. For those who appreciate chat and know how to respect other users is totally awesome by my standards.

But for those that whore themselves off....Kinda lights my dynamyte stick.

Excuse me but I expect to be treated with respect.

Thanks for all those who understand...

Whore themselves off????????

[zanybrainy]

I used to get a pm for cyber every now and then when I was posting as a single. Now that I have changed my profile to couple it seems like I get a lot more requests. That is until I tell them my other half doesn't play. Then interest dies quick and they are off to never never land.

Best one was I was asked to cyber and said was not here for that just wanted to relax after a hard day, was told, "what are you wasting time here then?"

Just another day in cyberspace.

Aub N Sab

[hotblue9925]

I haven't actually seen a whole lot of cyber requests in chat - most of the people who do are usually told that "desperation will not get you places." As far as the PMs, I just put them on ignore. To PM someone and start off with the "suck my dick bitch" routine without at least some kind of foundation is the ultimate in rudeness.

For the most part, it seems pretty civil in the chatrooms.

[smurf111978]

I get bazillions of these. I've had several where i'm like "what's up" and they're like "my cock, lookin at your pix". Or they don't even say hi they just go straight into it. What pisses me off is guys here that tall me I'm a pansy faggot or not a real man cause I'm a bit into feminist writings and am really infuriated by sexism.
Or because i like to wear women's clothing or kiss and be affectionate with guys instead of viewing people as purely objects of my sexual amusement. Fuck that shit, people are not property (unless they want to be, but that's a whole other tangent. I used to get creeped out by it but now I have fun with it and tease 'em a little before I piss off :bigrin:
However, most of the PMing I do is with people I'm familiar with and we just don't feel like dealing with the main room. A few random people have PMed me out of nowhere and turned out to be really fucking cool (DD anyone?). Oh, and skaterboy, I consider you highly articulate, so there :P

Just chalk it up to experience.

Az hunnie your a very sexy cute intelligent guy any one who thinks you are a pansy or faggot is completely nuts!!!! im sure they wouldnt know what a real man was if one jumped up and bite their ass!!

I think the world of you for who you are and I consider you part of my cyber family. This site would not be the same with out you.

Love & hugs
Smurfie
xoxoxoxoxox

[Azrael]

Az hunnie your a very sexy cute intelligent guy any one who thinks you are a pansy or faggot is completely nuts!!!! im sure they wouldnt know what a real man was if one jumped up and bite their ass!!

I think the world of you for who you are and I consider you part of my cyber family. This site would not be the same with out you.

Love & hugs
Smurfie
xoxoxoxoxox
Thanks, smurfy. You need to get your blue ass on yahoo IM one of these daze.
I think you're quite splendid, as well. You're one of my pillars of moral support, and for that I am grateful. I'll shoot ya an email real soon, sorry it's been a while.
love-
tom

[redheadhoneycat]

I agree it is annoying when people bombard you with cyber requests...I really enjoy chatting with people about life but cyber is really boring.

[warmpuppy]

There are horny times and not-so-horny times. There are times when you are troubled and need a sympathetic ear. You probably know that there are many here to help each other through difficult problems. It's not just a sex site.

IMHO, there are two types of cyber sex. The first is basically fantasizing, pretending to do things to each other. That kind is perfectly OK, but not for me. The second type is where two people share their real life sexual experiences. I much prefer that form.