My Situation

[Jesse_Bi]

I'm new here. Well, I just started having fantasies about guys the other day. I was amazed to find that I liked them. Basically, I pretend I'm a woman and I suck guys off. I like masturbation fantasies. I'm very confused. BTW, I have bipolar disorder. Could that have anything to do with it?

[Jesse_Bi]

I'm still very confused. Very scared. Does anyone have anything to offer?

[Snafu]

You know if you feel this way over a longer period of time you may be on to something. Just sit with it and see how you feel later. Because most "straight" people even have some bisexual thoughts or fantasies at some point. But if you really can't sit with the uncertaintly, then check out a therapist or a councelor. I don't think I have ever felt like I have been willing to wait for an answer, but sometimes the answers come quick and sometimes they don't.

How I read your post is that this is a total brand new thing. That is why I am saying to just sit with it for now. As far as it having to do with the bi-polar. Well I don't know, maybe, maybe not. I once dated a bi-polar lesbian but she was lesbian over time and I am sure the two things had nothing to do with each other. But if it is something that just occurs suddenly and then leaves suddenly...well then that might have something to do it. I don't know if this helps at all, but I think you will just have to wait and see if you feel this way in weeks, months and years from now. Of course, you want to know right now, but that probably just isn't possible. Just my thoughts.

[bigpanda]

It would be interesting to learn more about the possible connection between bipolar and bisexual/gay. I am bipolar, and I can tell you that I feel most attracted to men when I am manic. When depressive, it's equally men and women.
If you're not already seeing a therapist as part of your disorder, get one now! Drugs are not enough to keep us in check.
Big Panda

[Jesse_Bi]

I have a therapist thank Christ. I've been going for a few years now. She helps me quite a bit. I'll tell her my new gift.

I don't know my patterns yet because I haven't gotten used to this or had real world experience. (Here goes)

[Brian]

Here' some links from an older thread we had on bi-polar condition that may be helpful here:

Jon, our editor, aka tradeqt, posted these articles: http://www.main.bisexual.com/forum/showpost.php?p=163&postcount=2

And there is a fellow who is (claims to be) a qualified therapist with a special interest in male bisexuality. He says he does online therapy, but to be honest my gut reaction is to be somewhat wary of online therapy. Anyway you guys can decide for yourself if he has anything to offer that may be useful. His site is the first link in this post: http://www.main.bisexual.com/forum/showpost.php?p=165&postcount=3

And here's the full (previous) thread on bi-polar condition: http://www.main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=29

I hope that helps.

- Drew :paw:

[gayle]

I don't suppose my repeating one of the theories on bipolar disorder, homosexuality and bisexuality will be overly popular. I have bipolar disorder and am told that while the illness has a genetic basis, I am told a traumatic event usually leads to the onset of bipolar illness whether appearing as a depressive or manic episode. In my case, I was sexually abused by a relative when I was quite young. I remember that not much later, I started having depressions and hearing voices. The auditory hallucinations lasted into my 30s but when I started seeing a very good counselor, the auditory hallucinations ended. When I began addressing the issues of sexual abuse, many of the symptoms of bipolar disorder improved or ceased entirely.
Many therapists believe that homosexuality and bisexuality are generally the result of a traumatic sexual experience. I can't say whether or not that is true. I've done some reading on the subject in psychiatric journals and they seem divided on whether or not someone can be "cured" of homosexuality or bisexuality after undergoing therapy.
I know that sexual abuse brought on the onset of my mental illness. I also know that at certain times of the year, I am more prone to manic episodes and at other times, I am more prone to depressive episodes. Fortunately, as I have gotten older, I have gained better control over the illness and while I have occasional breakthroughs of the illness, most of the time I do well.
Bipolar patients are notorious for engaging in risky behavior, particularly when manic. We might overspend, gamble, use drugs, alcohol or be overly promiscuous. As a bipolar patient, I know I will always have to fight this illness, to be vigilant to keep it as much in control as possible. I try to be aware of triggers that might cause me to experience a manic or depressive episode. I try to be very honest with my counselor, although I must admit that discussing sexual issues from the past or my current sex life are difficult for me. While I feel safe revealing my fantasies and asking questions in this forum, it's something entirely different when I am meeting with my counselor. Here I have anonymity, plus there is a sense of security in numbers. In counseling, I never know when my counselor might decide something is a bigger deal than I feel it is. I feel like some of my fantasies (such as the dominatrix fantasy) might unnerve her if I were to reveal it.
Anyhow, if you feel safe with your counselor, talk to them about your fantasies. That may be all it is, fantasy. It could be that you have been experiencing a manic episode so engaging in this new sexual behavior may be particularly appealing, especially with the sense of risk that is attached to it, that you might be "caught" in these new sexual encounters. If you don't feel safe discussing this with your therapist, find a new one! (Yes, I probably should find a new counselor too. Mine is in her late 60s and I feel like I might shock her to death!) Above all else, do your best to engage in safe sex. You do not want to risk getting a "social illness" on top of your bipolar disorder.
Best wishes! :2cents: