Fantasies

[funkycat36]

Hi. I am in a monogomous relationship with a woman.

I have read about m/f couples where the husband likes to hear the wife's fantasies of being with another woman.

I read that straight men or women often fantasise about other people the same sex as their partner when they make love but don't tell their partner.

If I sometimes fantasise about men when sleeping with my girlfirend is that wrong?

[quiet1fornow]

isn't fantasy, fantasy?? How can it be wrong??

:cool:

[funkycat36]

I don't know it just feels it. Thats why I thought I would get other people's views.

[DiamondDog]

They're just fantasies that's all.

I've been with gay men who I've dated/had relationships with and there will be times where I'll imagine being with a woman and him at the same time during sex, and it's not a big deal.

Lots of bisexuals will fantasize about the opposite gender of the one that they're with when they have sex each and every time.

I know it seems weird/wrong at first but it's just something that happens and it's got nothing to do with being "greedy" or not there or in the moment for your partner and I think that most people do fantasize constatnly during sex but they just don't talk about it.

[DiamondDog]

when I am with a woman I fantasize about having sex with a man, and when I am with a man I fantasize about women

taken from here: http://advocate.com/issue_story_ektid22148.asp

[Shadowsurfer]

There is nothing wrong with thinking of your fantasies, whilst you sleep with your wife.

And hey if you every want that fantasy to come true look me up. ;)

As one said in this topic, Fastasy is Fantasy.

And I bet whilst you are thinking of this fantasy your performance is 10fold better? Which is a win win for both you and your wife.:cool:

[brunette]

If I sometimes fantasise about men when sleeping with my girlfirend is that wrong?

hey,

i know what you mean. it's easy to say "fantasy is fantasy" but that does not reconcile your feelings of guilt. when i first started having sex, i was extremely controlling and jealous. i even hated porn because i thought it took something away from the relationship. the idea was that when he was thinking of someone else, he really didn't want me. i was worried that he wasn't attracted to me because the thought of me couldn't make him come!!

it's kinda silly, though, right? i now know that when i'm having sex with my husband, the only way i can come is to think of some fantasy. sometimes they involve him, but most of the time they don't. and then afterwards, do i love him any less? no, of course not.

here's an important question for you: does your girlfriend know about your fantasies? chances are that she's not thinking of you either. and, i know a lot of women who are turned on by mm sex. me, for one. there's a chance you guys could share that fantasy.

and in the end, your fantasies are only a problem when they consume your thoughts. when you aren't attracted to your girlfriend any more or when you need the fantasy to get you going in bed, it's probably time for a change.

[the mage]

Fantasy is healthy and normal.
Sharing them with you lover is rare and precious.

You will both grow if you can accept each others fantasy.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

There's nothing wrong with it, Hon. As long as both parties are satisfied, then there shouldnt Be a problem. And, whatever aid you use to get satisfaction(as long as it isnt hurting your partner) than thats just a personal matter.
Dont worry about it, but it might be a good idea to discuss it with her sometime. Hell, she might even want to explore it with you. :D
(Is it gettin' warm in here??) lol
Cat