I lost :(

[tracie18]

Hello friends,
just letting you know that me and my Girlfriend broke up to day. i blame it on me, cause of me going in and out of hospital. i am so down and upset. Mel made my life turn around so much and i dont want it to go back the way it was. i tryed to talk to her about everything but it didnt help. i am so heart broken she was my world to me... i am so lost with out her :( ...
i dont know wat to do now, i want her back so bad. i hope things get better between us after my final tendon transplant cause hoping this well be all good and NO hospitals for eva :).......

now i feel like knowone, cause my one true love has left me, she was the one who i could tell everything to,she helped me in the bad and good times, we had very good memories. but now there gone :(, she made me feel so important.

[HighEnergy]

No Tracie, you didn't lose. You learned valuable lessons. You learned what you want in a relationship from someone else and how to treat another. You got to experience some lovely times. And you discovered that your g/f wasn't able to be a person who can stand by you when things are down. Who wants that in the long term?

You know the old saying you have to kiss a lot of frogs? Say to yourself, one frog down. NEXT!

[MarieDelta]

tracie,

Try to look at it as a learning experience. You did what you could & what you knew to do at the time. You did the best you could and loved, and she left anyway.

Not. Your. Fault.

You live. You Learn. You Move on.

There is a saying in Budhism. Life is like a flood, you hold on to what you can, to what you love, but in the end we are seperated from it all. You can't hold on to anything. Life moves on, and so must we.

So forgive yourself, it probably hurts right now quite a bit, but try to.

Sending you Comforting hugs,

Marie

[darkeyes]

Trace... dont fret too much baby.. I know it hurts, and your mind will be so screwed up you cant think straight. I am not going to say that because you are young it wasnt love or anything so crass.. all I can promise you is that time will heal.. most of us went through it.. and we all felt like the world was at an end. I did anyway and just wanted to die. First love is always the one we remember more then any other, and shapes who we are almost more than any other. Have a good blub and let it all out and be miserable...its grief for lost hopes and dreams... but other hopes, other dreams will come into your life, and they will kindle within you so much joy that while you will always regret what was lost, they will allow you to move forward with your life and once again live, love and be happy.

There will probably be a few more romantic break ups in your life, and each will cause you its own pain.. but as you grow as a person, and get a little older you will be more able to cope and overcome that awful feeling of sadness. We all strive deep down for the perfect love, the big passion with whom we will spend our lives. Some actually do find it, and I hope you are one..

So shed your tears Tracie, endure your grief and heartbraak, but in a while once again into your life will breeze another, probably when you least expect it, and you can begin to live once again without that God awful gnawing agony most of us remember too well.

[gb11vt18]

When you lose an important relationship if can be hard, but you are a stronger person that that. Look at the positives in life now, and look toward a happier future. The right person(s) is out there for each and everyone of us. All we need to do it search and explore the journey will be tough but when you get to the end result you will enjoy happiness that you have never known. Good luck with the transplant and we all hope that you don't have anymore hospital visits for the future.

[anne27]

I understand your pain, hon. My g/f broke up with me almost 2 months ago now and there is still not a day that goes by when I haven't thought of her. It hurts, but trust me-it does get better. Life moves on and you have to move on with it. Grieve when you have to, mourn when you must, but there is only one direction to go and that is forward.
My heart goes out to you. Know that you are not alone. Nearly everyone has dealt with heartache, and even if we don't think so at the time, we do survive and learn from our past.

*HUGE HUGS*

take care!

[hudson9]

I feel so bad for your broken heart... but remember, there may be pain now, but there's a lot of love in the universe too. You will live. You will love again. You will BE loved again.

[CuddlyKate]

Your sadness and heartbreak touched me very deeply Tracie. When I was young I had my first true love. She became everything to me and I couldnt see past her. I ate, drank and slept her. She was in the Navy and in those days same sex relationships were frowned upon and she would have been thrown out had our love been discovered. In the beginning I was also under age which was an added worry, and her stress was my stress. I did everything not to add to it and the words of undying love were always music to my ears.

One day I went round to her home and I discovered to my horror she had upped and moved on. No message for me. No forwarding address. Nothing. She was just gone. Only the previous evening I was her life and the following day it was as if she did not exist. I was so enraged and angry at this abuse of myself, the sheer contempt she had shown for me I didnt care if she was alive or dead. Yet I cried my heart out for my lost love and began a downward spiral of insanity which I do hope you can avoid. I felt so sorry for myself and hated her for the appalling way she had treated me. I even swore I would never ever have anything to do with a member of my own sex again.

Almost 10 years on I no longer feel sorry for myself, have pulled my life around and while I certainly feel no affection for her, merely sadness that one human being could so abuse the love and trust which a young girl, little more than a child bestowed on her, I long ago forgave her. I hope she is well, and I hope she is happy but I could no more love her now than I could love a complete stranger. I have found love again and am happy. I have a life of my own and a family which is my life. Darkeyes is my partner and I have no regrets for reneging on my promise to myself regarding women.

What everyone says is right. The pain is terrible but it will pass. The memories of good times may remain but in years to come even better memories will be created and love will come your way which is deep, pure and lasting.

[Doggie_Wood]

Tracie - my heart and my empathy go to you. As a famous quote starts out;

It is far better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.....

The feelings you are having are normal - and these too shall pass..... in time.
You have so much in your life that is yet undiscovered and just waiting for you to find. Love is one of those objects awaiting you. To give and receive.

As some of the others have already stated above, use this experience in your life as a guidon. To shape your judgement and character for the future in front of you. Don't be bitter or hateful of this one experience. Face your feelings with the determination that you will survive this and go on with your life, not antisipating the next turn of the road but moreso just flowing with the wind at your back.

Peace and Love,
:doggie:

[tracie18]

Thanks so much friends for being there, the advice is great, i hoping things will pick up soon :), i just wish she was hear cause i got a call from the doctors 2 day i go for my operation on the 23rd of october, she wont be there holding my hand, i am going to be so alone. :(

[DeleteAccount1234]

Its not your fault.

We learn from our relationships and even friendships.
Sometimes we learn the hard way who someone really is but it makes you REALLY think.... do you really want someone like that in your life??

Your girlfriend couldn't handle you being in the hospital a lot. Thats her lost.
Someone who truely and really loves you will be there for you, no matter what.

I understand hospitals bother people especially if they've had to watch someone they loved die in one. But if someone really loved you, they wouldn't let that bother them.

Operations are scary... Ive been in the hospital a lot as a child to my teens and I had MANY operations and they are never fun BUT... sometimes my surgeries seemed to make me realize who my real friends were.
A couple came to the hospital to visit or called and others didn't, not even a phone call. It was like they didn't even care about me.
Pretty much just made me want to be friends with the ones that REALLY did care.

Have you ever talked to your girlfriend? What is it about hospitals that bother her so much? Does she disagree with the operation ?
Maybe shes just scared and can't handle it so breaking up was the easiest way to handle it.
You should talk to her... try to work things out.

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

I understand your pain, hon. My g/f broke up with me almost 2 months ago now and there is still not a day that goes by when I haven't thought of her. It hurts, but trust me-it does get better. Life moves on and you have to move on with it. Grieve when you have to, mourn when you must, but there is only one direction to go and that is forward.
My heart goes out to you. Know that you are not alone. Nearly everyone has dealt with heartache, and even if we don't think so at the time, we do survive and learn from our past.

*HUGE HUGS*

take care!

Couldnt have said it better myself Anne.

It hurts terribly when you love someone so much and they decide to move on for whatever reason. And in the end it was probably the best decision, but it doesn't make it any easier. They pop into your mind every 10-15 mins bringing back to that miserable state. But im here to tell you , that 15 mins does grow into hourly , then daily , then monthly and next thing you know your not thinking of them at all. At least thats how it was for me. You have to grieve hunny. I wish you well tho, and I hope hurt subsides very soon.
:)
GEL

[Doggie_Wood]

Thanks so much friends for being there, the advice is great, i hoping things will pick up soon :), i just wish she was hear cause i got a call from the doctors 2 day i go for my operation on the 23rd of october, she wont be there holding my hand, i am going to be so alone. :(

Tracie - you will never be alone. You have a family here, at this site, who truely do care about you unconditionally.
I hope your operation goes well and I will keep you in my prayers. I am sure others will as well.
You will persevere Tracie. Things have a way of working out, just keep the faith.

As always,
:doggie:

[Spicy]

Look sweetie, we say you only know who your real friends are when times are tough and they stand by you. "When you laugh, the world laughs with you, but when you cry, you cry alone, for those who refuse to stand by you are not your real friends.
Take this as a learning experience and move on.
I wish you all the very best !!!

Spicy

[DeleteAccount1234]

Ive been personally talking to Tracie..

Her gf just needs some time to think things out about things in her life.
Sometimes people break up with bfs / gfs when they do this.

She will go with Tracie for her surgery as a friend tho which is better than not going at all.
I told her maybe for now, just be her gf's friend as well.

Maybe afterwards they can work things out.
Afterall, sometimes a relationship gets better and stronger after a small break up cause someone needed to think about things before going on.

I hope all goes well for Tracie :)