Bi or not

[goldenfinger]

Hi, new here, just found this site looks great. Looking through some of the older post for an answer to my question but found nothing. My question is to all the bi people here. Do you consider yourself bi because you enjoy SEX with both sexes, or because you also have a romantic relationship with both. I have read a number of reports dealing with that issue. One report I read said: 20% of the people are NOT straight. 5% are gay. That leaves 15% bi to some degree. 3 times more then gays. (Where are they) The church clearly state that if you engage in sex with a person of same sex, you'r gay. However, many sex experts says, who you have sex with, does not make you straight or gay or bi. Who you have a romantic relationship with does. So if you have same sex sex just for fun, you'r still straight. I'm in my 50's now and have never been attracted to males, I have however for as long as I can remember fantasied about having oral sex with another male. Something which is normal. I have had MFF 3some with my now x, but when I asked, are you bi, she says no with a big N. She has been with 2 women, I was there with only one of them. As we all knew, ffm are standard in porno flicks and are not labeled bi , only mmf if they guys do each other is it labeled bi. Watching two guys do each other in a gay movie doesn't do much for me, but two guys and a girl, and the guys do each other really turn me on. So my question is, am I bi or not. My desire for a MMF is getting stronger. MM out of the question.:eek:

[Doggie_Wood]

As stated before by myself and others, you are the only one who can honestly say whether you are bi, straight, gay, ambi-sexual, mono-sexual or any other lable that one might impose to drap about ones persona.
I, for one, am not attracted to the male gender in a romantic sense but moreso to the female gender. That being said, I do have friends that are male, whom I love dearly and unconditionally. Some of which I have had sexual relations with and others that I have not. Does that make me gay? Or bi? Or straight with a starnge twist? I think not.
I do concider myself a "bi-sexual" being due to the fact that I enjoy sexual encounters with not only women but also men and almost any combination of the aforementioned.
I hope this helps you on your journey.

:doggie:

[19biman61]

I consider myself Bi due to the fact that I enjoy sex with men and women. I have no desire for a romantic relationship with another man. With men, I like oral and I'm a bottom anal. In my opinion, if you desire sex with both sexes then you are Bi. If you desire sex exclusively with your same sex then you are gay. People try to make it more complicated than it really is.

[DiamondDog]

You can be bisexual and be a virgin or have never had sex with the same gender or anyone at all.

I personally knew at 16 long before I'd really been that sexually active with both genders as an adult.

Your fantasies and sex dreams can tell you a lot about yourself.

As far as oral sex fantasies or craving oral sex with the same gender go, that's normal but heterosexuals don't have them and don't want to have sex with the same gender, despite what you hear from gay/bi men and what you read in homo sex erotic fiction and see in gay porn it's just a common fantasy that lots of bi/gay men have.

Here's a tool that can help you figure out where your attractions lie:
http://www.technostud.com/public/newsite/klein.html

There are no right or wrong answers and your attractions can change over time.

[norcalbi]

In my opinion I am bi because I could be with a male or female if they are the right person...regardless of gender. Emotionally, physically, sexually, intelligence, etc...male or female could fill all those categories and make me happy. The right partner can complete you...if it happens to be the same sex I see no reason to deny that connection.

[ohbimale]

Only you can determine your sexual orientation.

Personally I have been bisexual since I started puberty....or before. I have always felt a strong sexual attraction to the same gender, as well as females. Although my sexual attraction to males was and has always been stronger. I have had romantic relationships with both sexes. In my opinion you do not need to have romantic relationships with the same sex to be bisexual. I have never met a straight person who was sexually attracted to the same sex in any way. In fact hetrerosexuals are usually repulsed by the thought of being sexually active with the same sex.

As far as your oral sex fantasy with the same sex...go for it.

I love mmf sex. :bipride::bipride:

[slocum5]

Agree with Diamond Dog, particularly as to feeling changing over the years or intermittently within the years. I hate to sound so simplistic, but for me it was who turned me on, regardless of their sex. In that regard, many more women turned me on early. Now it's more likely another man, primarily because most of the women in my age group have turned off to sex. One of the parting remarks of my ex was that "old men with erections look riduculous.
A real ego booster.:)

[ChsnyNLelandsBsh]

I am a virgin I have never had sex but I have had sexual relationships without sex and I have found out that I like females more than males....I am a female....I have learned that a guys thingy down south doesnt do me..it kind of grosses me out...but the upper half is sexy....but every part of a females body is sexy....

and my fantasies....ohh those are good....

[NjbiGuy01]

In the past, I would play with bi couples, period. As I grew older and more mature, I realized I had to like the people. I am blessed with a lovely wife who I am with for 23 years, and we have two great kids. I also share a threesome with a local couple, both bi, and we get along great, as both as friends and bed mates. We go to dinner, drinks, the nude beach, etc. and enjoy ourselves in bed as well. Like a marriage, it doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, man it's nice !

I've met lots of people through websites (Craigslist, Swinglifestyle, etc), but many don't understand: If I don't like you, it just won't work for me..... :bibounce:

[phaedrus]

goldenfinger,

First of all, maybe your church is important to you, and I respect that, but personally, the church is the very last institution that I would take sexual advise from.

Why try to put a label on your sexuality? Nobody really agrees on any definition of bi or gay. ( I'll probably get flamed for that statement. ;) ) You/I/We just drive ourselves crazy trying to pigeonhole our wants and desires. Just try to be honest with yourself about what you really want, and accept it for what it is.

I am very similar to you, and I think many men are like this. I am turned on very much by women, and I crave emotional support and intimacy from women, but occasionally I also crave sexual contact with a man. I'm not sure what drives this desire, and I've had a number of ideas about it over the years, but it is there none-the-less. At first I couldn't accept it. I tried to deny it. I worried that I might be latently gay. But over the years, I have come to accept myself for who I am. (Well, more so than before. :bigrin: ) I certainly wouldn't call myself gay. My tendencies are mostly heterosexual, but there is a small part of me that doesn't fit that label. If I really need a label, bisexual is the best fit that I can find.

[Lorcan]

Actually Goldenfinger, i catagorize them as two different things: bi-SEXUAL and bi-ROMANTIC. Some people can be bi-sexual and not be bi-romantic, and some people are both. I say that if you enjoy having sex with both that you are bi-sexual. ('course that just me saying:rolleyes:) And you can also be virgin and know that you are bi-sexual.

I just called myself just "bi" because i am bi-sexual and i'm open to the idea of falling in love with a girl.

[CHOCOLATECITY32]

As stated before by myself and others, you are the only one who can honestly say whether you are bi, straight, gay, ambi-sexual, mono-sexual or any other lable that one might impose to drap about ones persona.
I, for one, am not attracted to the male gender in a romantic sense but moreso to the female gender. That being said, I do have friends that are male, whom I love dearly and unconditionally. Some of which I have had sexual relations with and others that I have not. Does that make me gay? Or bi? Or straight with a starnge twist? I think not.
I do concider myself a "bi-sexual" being due to the fact that I enjoy sexual encounters with not only women but also men and almost any combination of the aforementioned.
I hope this helps you on your journey.

:doggie:
i totally agree with dog although i love the feeling of a woman more ......need i remind u that i have always been attracted to both sexes every since i was about 12 and it has always been like that ...but i consider my self bisexual because i love to explore the many possibilities of both men and women

[DiamondDog]

Actually Goldenfinger, i catagorize them as two different things: bi-SEXUAL and bi-ROMANTIC. Some people can be bi-sexual and not be bi-romantic, and some people are both. I say that if you enjoy having sex with both that you are bi-sexual. ('course that just me saying:rolleyes:) And you can also be virgin and know that you are bi-sexual.

I just called myself just "bi" because i am bi-sexual and i'm open to the idea of falling in love with a girl.

interesting.

But this is one of the reasons why I forgo all sexual orientation labels and why the labels of hetero/bi/homo don't apply to me.

That's how things evolved to anyway.

[Bluebiyou]

Yes. To address the original real question.

We are born, not het,bi,gay, but sexual beings. How, and to what fervency we express that depends on both nature and nurture.

Now to really mess with you... why do so many (but certainly not all) gay men HAVE to have a Saint Mary (or relative equivalent totalitarian emotional relationship) in their life? This is usually their mother.

The ultimate answer is really very simple. We are born into this world subject to masculine and femine (the definition of each is different with every culture) nurturing, and sexuality. Hopefully we are loved by both m and f (father and mother). This will and won't happen in thousands of instances and thousands of ways. There may be hundreds (indeed perhaps thousands) of reasons for our emotional need -at each point in life - of intimacy for male or female, and for sexual desire for m or f.
Hetero reproductive encounters tend to be more predominant because... there is a future. Yet this selective breeding only influences and narrows the results to a majority hetero. If selective breeding were to rule completely, homosexuality would have 'bred' itself out of the gene pool millenia ago.
Sexuality and emotional needs are... so multidimentional, that we can only cast (often contradicting) generalities... no easy formula...
If you cast green and brown leaves into the air, what rules will decide (when they land) which side points up and where the stem points for green leaves vs. brown leaves?

Yes, to answer your question. You (and the whole world to some degree) are sexual (dare I politically incorrectly say omnisexual?) (generally read 'bisexual'). We are sexually and emotionally complex beings generally seeking what we need.