View Full Version : Fantasy v desire
goldenfinger
Nov 2, 2007, 8:58 PM
When and how do you know when it's a fantasy or true desire. When I as young, what stopped me from taking that next step, when so close. Try to go back in time will never work, nothing is the same and never will be.To all of your guys who has taken that next step, what was it like, did it live up to your fantasy, what was the age of you and the other guy. Doing it with someone my own age is not in my fantasy, at the same token, doing it with someone much younger seem wrong. How did you deal with it. Looking forward to a lot of answers.
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DiamondDog
Nov 2, 2007, 11:53 PM
I've mostly always been into men sexually and romantically.
I started being sexual and erotic with guys from a very early age and it wasn't rape or molestation and nobody was forced into anything.
Even from a young age I'd get infatuated with boys my age, and it wasn't until I got older that I realised that I was into women too.
To answer your question for myself there was never was a question or not if sex or a relationship with men or a man and a woman was only a fantasy for me, since I've mostly always wanted it that way.
Even as a teenager before I'd really had sex with anyone I knew that I eventually wanted sex and relationships with men and when I was 19 and had sex with a woman for the first time I enjoyed it but I knew that I had to have sex with men and when I did this at 22 for the first time as an adult it was one of the most amazing things ever, and it was way more satisfying in ways that having sex with a woman isn't for me.
As far as my attractions go, I'm either so into men that I wonder if I'm homosexual and I have no desire to be with a woman sexually and the idea of having sex with a woman or seeing a woman's body naked or the idea of having sex with a woman grosses me out and isn't a turn on to me.
Or else I'll be totally equal and I'll crave/want male/male/female 3 ways where myself and a male lover double team a woman or we do erotic bondage/SM to a submissive woman!
Right now the only way I'd actually put my penis into a woman's vagina and have penis in vagina penetrative sex would be if I was with another guy and we were having sex with her together and with each other too.
When it comes to sex with women I'm more into just giving oral sex (I'm not into getting it from women), using toys (masturbating a woman with my fingers doesn't really do much for me even if a woman is more into it than I am), I'm into doing erotic bondage/SM with women, making out/kissing can be OK but I prefer doing it with men, and I'd glady fist a woman if she wanted it.
I don't want a male/female/female 3 way at all.
Lesbian porn or watching two women kiss or have sex does nothing for me. It's boring, a total turn off, and it's not arousing at all to me even when there is vaginal fisting involved.
Sex with women is nice but it's not the same for me that sex, a relationship, and romance with a man is.
A man's body feels so much more natural to me and having masturbatory sex with men feels as natural to me as stroking my own penis! I also love to kiss men and even just holding hands with a man or being wrapped up together and holding each other feels AMAZING and it is one of the best feelings ever!
I'm OK with having sex with women even if their bodies are more alien to me. I'd be more suited to having a friends with benefits relationship with a woman or just very casually dating a woman. But I don't want a traditional relationship with a woman such as having a wife, girlfriend I'm monogamous/in a closed relationship with, or a live in girlfriend. I can fall in love with women but I don't want a relationship with a woman since I can't give them what most of them want which is a closed/exclusive/monogamous relationship where I only have sex with her and nobody else.
I wouldn't do well in a relationship like this since I'd either wind up cheating, going celibate for awhile when I'm not into women. Or I'd just pine away for a man and wonder why I was even with a woman and I'd probably leave and have a romantic relationship with a guy instead. An open relationship would just leave me wanting more and I'd get mad that I couldn't have a real relationship with a guy. I don't even really understand how or why some bi men even have relationships with women, or why some of them claim that they can only fall in love with women and not with men too.
I also don't get why some bi men are all about having women use strapon dildos on them or other toys since while I'm not that anally oriented, most women don't know what they're doing with pleasing a man's anus, prostate, other anatomy or what it's like to have a prostate or even how to do this instinctively like men know how to do to each other.
I'm happiest when I'm dating or in a successful relationship with a man. I feel frustrated and trapped when I'm in a relationship with a woman. Most of my bi male friends are like me and are either more into men or lean towards men.
I can't really tell when a woman is really interested in me or flirting with me unless it's really obvious but I can instantly tell when a guy is into me and I can even easily tell if a man or woman is bi/gay even if they don't tell me.
Neither heterosexual or homosexual would describe me and bisexual works but queer describes me best.
DiamondDog
Nov 2, 2007, 11:59 PM
As far as the age factor goes I've had sex and relationships with men of all ages anywhere from around my age or a few years older than me to guys that are 27 years older than me, and it's not a big deal since we're all consenting adults and over the age of 18.
I'm not attracted to older women at all and I prefer them to be at least 18, my age, or maybe a few years older. Not that I've even been sexual with a lot of women but that's the age range for them for me.
citystyleguy
Nov 3, 2007, 2:42 AM
When and how do you know when it's a fantasy or true desire. When I as young, what stopped me from taking that next step, when so close. Try to go back in time will never work, nothing is the same and never will be.To all of your guys who has taken that next step, what was it like, did it live up to your fantasy, what was the age of you and the other guy. Doing it with someone my own age is not in my fantasy, at the same token, doing it with someone much younger seem wrong. How did you deal with it. Looking forward to a lot of answers.
:flag4:
fantasy stops when you turn off the video, put down the 'zine, or in short stop with the thoughts and act on it; true desire is when you decide all the rest just mentioned is done and over with, you know what you want and you satisfy it by acting on it!
mine came, not so much that i took the step, but the other guy did, which after it was over for the both of us, finally convinced me that when you want something go for it, dont replace it with something else, waiting for god knows what?!
did it live up to my expectation, hell yes, that and more!!! trouble was that when it came for us to go our own ways, the next two were some of the worst in my life; but i went after it, dealt with the shit, and then decided to move on; what a let down, the next few years were a desert, so i just floated along, saw a guy at a book store, dogged him and then spent several years with him and a very fine, very curious girlfriend.
finally, i found a guy that was the love my life with whom i spent many years, and along the way, found my other love of my life, my wife. none of this, if you spend your time in a fantasy, never having tasted and taken deisre, would have actually become reality. SO GET UP, CHOOSE YOUR DESIRE, AND ACT ON IT!!!
so finally, as to age, well i have always been with those of my own general age, not for any particular reason, other than i go where people who share my interests hang out. as i get older the diversity of age seems greater these days, while the venues havent changed. as to the why and wherefore, i havent given any thought!
diB4u
Nov 3, 2007, 6:17 AM
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I would have to agree with what other individuals have posted. To be honest from day one I have been attracted to men. Fantasies might only be fantasies, or they maybe actions trapped in a persons thoughts..
A big fantasy of mine was to have same sex with a woman, I did actually achieved this when I with an ex had MFF Ménage à trois.. however a fantasy of mine would be to have my first f on f experience… Another fantasy of mine, which I hope will be reality is to watch two men have sex. Also to watch drag queens and kings in action. I am also waiting for my first MMF…(maybe combine my two men having sex whilst I watch and please myself)
Sometimes although a fantasy is still a fantasy, and if it becomes a reality, it may not always be what you thought it would be. I am trying to achieve my fantasies I know how many people i want in my life....[/COLOR]