Need advices...or different point of views. [Archive]

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fredstreuli

Nov 27, 2007, 3:06 AM

Greetings to everyone.
I'm 22years old, male, and constantly sexually active with girls.
I'm in love, and I know it, i never believed in it, and I know this might be a hormonal thing but, I'm in love now, with my best friend(male). I never felt like this even for girls..not as strong as i feel now at least. It's such an obvious feeling that I have no doubt I'm gay...I still get horny with girls, and I love them in every aspect, but right now, I'm in a deep depression, fighting against this feeling..of loving a man. But of course, typically he is straight, and he's in love..TOTALLY and BLINDLY in love with his girlfriend. Right now he's in a very delicate phase..his girlfriend kind of dumped him..after going out for almost 7 years...he's totally destroyed...but me..i'm hating myself, finding myself happy about this.. I talked to him..and I told him that he should not go back to her like always..its not the first time she dumps him. They're in a long distance relationship right now..It pisses me off..seeing how much he suffers..because he's so loyal..and so serious and completely in love with her..pisses me off that she just plays around with him, she does whatever the fuck she wants..and he'll still be there waiting for her..
This guy im in love with, is the type of guy that can even be sweet to guys (without being gay), very masculine, and handsome, loyal to his friends and most of all, his girlfriend. He's the type of guy that everybody loves.. And i made the mistake of entering his personal life too deeply..living with him, working with him, supporting him in all the aspects, emotionally as well..I guess this feeling naturally became stronger and stronger...I cant stop thinking about him...now I even fantasize about him..ever since i saw naked pictures of him and his girlfriend having sex..in his computer... I just wish he was..bisexual also...I really wish he was.. my heart is about to burst..i dont know what to do anymore..i never cried before..but i cry coz i dont know what to do with this feeling. I love him..and i imagine myself telling him how I feel about him, hugging him, and kissing him..every night..but of course..I wont,..we live together and work together...if he knows that his best buddy is homosexually attracted to him..we will not be together ever again..I need help..I dont know what i should do, im in the edge of destruction..What should I do..I'd really appreciate your comments..and i know im not the only one thats been throught this..so anybody who's been through this, or just outside point of views..everything is welcomed. Thank you.

Skater Boy

Nov 27, 2007, 3:49 AM

First of all CALM DOWN! Secondly, if your "friend" is 100% straight, then you're wasting your time, and your tears. By all means have feelings for him, but you must accept that he probably doesn't feel the same way, and probably never will. Furthermore, just how much of a friend do you consider him to actually be if he wouldn't be willing to accept that you have intimate feelings for him? Worth considering. Lastly, try and avoid the temptation to prey on him while he is emotionally weakened by the departure of his girlfriend. I know it might be tempting, but its below the belt, IMO.

:2cents:

Lisa (va)

Nov 27, 2007, 11:42 AM

If he is your best friend who is going through a time over his girlfriend leaving you should be there for his support and support only, add to that the fact you know he is 100% straight, as best friends you should respect that.
As to you having feelings about being totally gay, who knows, who cares, you, as everyone, has to live life as it best suits you, be you straight or gay or somewhere in between.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

FalconAngel

Nov 27, 2007, 1:34 PM

We agree with Lisa and Skaterboy on this one. DO NOT take advantage of your friend while he is in this state. It will make things far worse for you both.

He does, however need to sever ties with this woman for good, though. She will keep tearing his heart out. She's done this repeatedly and is not a good person and your friend will be much better off with someone who will not treat him as a doormat.

Be there for your friend, but don't take advantage of him in this state. Let him get over this woman and heal.

As far as your feelings for him. Many Bisexuals are as capable of falling in love with the same sex as they are of falling in love with the opposite sex, so you are not necessarily gay, but you are, based on what you wrote, definitely Bi.

shameless agitator

Nov 27, 2007, 6:39 PM

I'll concur with what the others have written and add only this. As obvious as it is to you that your friend needs to get away from this woman, he has to do it when he's ready. If he's not ready to give up on that relationship yet, you need to be willing to still support him after he goes back to her.

fredstreuli

Nov 28, 2007, 12:31 PM

Thank you all for your advice. I really appreciate it. And yes, you are all right, I was just in a very stressing and difficult phase as well and, the time when u really need somebody by your side..I guess thats why I got too emotional with things, but now I can think clearly. I'll support him with his girlfriend...as hard as it is I will... but, I dont know until how long. I just wont accept her, the way she's been using him.. and I think that this thought will be the same for anyone else, not only coz im in "love" with him. I wonder,..how do you know somebody's bisexual? It must be so hard..NO ONE around of me would ever imagine I am. Specially with my social status as a "playboy". Im good at not showing..better said, i dont even have to try coz straight life is all i had and i happen to like girls..but then, at the same time, if someone like me likes a man as well..then i just cant stop thinking.."what if him too..?". ok enough..i guess I'm just getting too obsessed..Thank you all for the support and honesty!!

shameless agitator

Nov 28, 2007, 6:07 PM

I wonder,..how do you know somebody's bisexual? Come out yourself and then if they're interested, they can let you know.
It must be so hard..NO ONE around of me would ever imagine I am. Specially with my social status as a "playboy". Im good at not showing..You're not doing yourself any favors here.

the mage

Nov 29, 2007, 4:17 PM

You need to first sort out your own life before attempting to sort out another's.

Your closeted reality is not long term healthy for you.
Avoid over fantasizing about a straight man. You CANNOT change another humans sexuality. You risk physical danger there.

Find your own sex and love yourself first before you seek love from another man or woman..

HennaHunny

Nov 29, 2007, 7:06 PM

Also..another thought....you may just deel like this, BECAUSE he is your best friend. It doesn't mean you are necessarily bisexual. Only time will tell. You are still very young, ang young people do get confused about their feelings, especially when someone they like and love is in pain, and it's not wrong for a straight guy to love a friend who is a guy, not wrong at all. Keep your options open, Don't jump into giving yourself a label. OK

ChsnyNLelandsBsh

Nov 30, 2007, 1:31 AM

HennaHunny

Nov 30, 2007, 2:00 AM

gotta come back to my point again...which no one else has suggested.....he may not be bisexual......lots of young people are confused about sexuality...and if you dearly love a friend, and that friend has been going through hell, i reckon it can be easy for a sensitive soul to latch on to those feelings...but it doesn't make them bisexual...especially if he has never had feelings like this before. straight people often think what it would be like with the same sex, but have no desire to do so......sure he may be bisexual.....but i think he needs to get away from his friend...certainly not living in the same house...and clear his head completely.....if he is bisexual.....he'll find out in time...but not from ''falling in love'' with his best friend...sheesh he doesn't need to be told...ok yeah you're bi

shameless agitator

Nov 30, 2007, 7:00 PM

Henna has a point here Fred. Falling in love with your best friend doesn't necessarily mean you're bi. You could very well be, but you'll need to do a lot of introspection to figure that one out. Who you find sexually attractive & what happens in your fantasies could help you shed a lot of light on it. In the mean time, why be in a big rush to slap a label on yourself?

HennaHunny

Nov 30, 2007, 7:17 PM

Thank you Shameless. What you have said is also very sensible. I think it is too easy for people to say..''Yeah, I reckon you're bi''.... without first thinking about all the things that go through our heads....straight, gay or bi. Freud, if you are working, living and socialising with this friend, then you really do need to put some distance between you and him. If you can't change your job, then really do get somewhere else to live.....and don't socialise. That maybe hard on both of you, you're friends, but it may make you see things a little more clearly. You are still very young....and 22 doesn't always mean really mature...no disrespect meant there. So keep away....and let things settle...and remember...we do love our close friends.....whether we be straight, gay or bi. Good luck.

Adrian House

Dec 2, 2007, 9:36 AM

Hi,

I empathize with you, Fred - you're not alone. I definitely went through that with someone, several years ago, and I know how tough that is. Putting some distance there for a while is good advice, I think, like the others said. In the meantime congrats for writing to this forum, which probably took some guts. I'd suggest too talking to a counsellor if you're that depressed. They may help you to figure out what you want to do about the situation, to sort out your feelings a bit. Don't worry - you'll get through it!
SExuality and sexual diversity should, and can, be something fun and exciting the more you explore it. It deepens your humanity.

Adrian

HennaHunny

Dec 2, 2007, 2:07 PM

Nice words Adrian, but unlike myself and Shameless you missed out telling Fred one thing (sorry I called you Freud, Fred), and that is.......he may not be bisexual. You forgot to mention how young he is...and how feelings can be confused. Great for suggesting counselling...he sure needs it....but don't immediately think that someone is bi...just because they get feelings towards for the same sex. I once read that if straight people didn't get turned on by members of the same sex, it would be a strange thing. Doesn't make them bi though. And, of course, falling in love with a best friend, of whatever sex, is not unusual.....it means a closeness....a bond.....twins have that sort of relationship....doesn't make them bi. People even fall in love with their treaured cat or dog and are inseparable....doesn't mean they believe in bestiality though. Get your head straightened out Fred. All things will begin to fall into place.....whatever sexuality you are. But don't go looking at any more pictures of your friend and his girlfriend making love.....a word I read too rarely here. Pictures like that turn anyone on. Good luck.

Adrian House

Dec 2, 2007, 5:16 PM

I do agree, Henna; no way for him to know yet if he's really attracted to men in general or just his friend. I guess I didn't state that outright, though I didn't say to him that he's "bi" either (quotes bc. I don't like labels personally). Though he did put himself as a 3 on the Kinsey scale in his profile, he just seemed confused, overpowered by feelings that he couldn't sort out, so I think counselling is a good idea.
And dude, if you do find you have homosexual feelings towards others as well as heterosexual ones, even if they're slight compared to the hetero ones, try to think of it as an interesting aspect of yourself that you've revealed. In the meantime, do try to calm down and take a breather.
Good advice re. the pictures, Henna. And the more love we make, of whatever kind, the better.

Adrian

HennaHunny

Dec 2, 2007, 8:57 PM

Oh, Adrian, I was generalising with my comments, not meaning you in particular. Have to disagree about the sex, though. I know you are not trying to say that he should try sex with the same sex, heaven forbid, that's the last thing he should do right now. I know you weren't meaning Fred. Fred, don't decide to try anything just to find out......you need help......and fast.....otherwise you could end up doing something very foolish...and goodness knows what that could do to you.

fredstreuli

Feb 3, 2008, 10:52 PM

Thanx again Henna, Adrian, everyone. I'm cool now=) I have to tell you I moved
out one night coz i couldnt bare it anymore, and was really mad at him too coz his head was so much into her that everything was going down (work, our friendship). I sent him a long email telling him how I felt (not about being bi), why i was mad, why i left, etc. And he invited me to go out and talk. We did so and he broke down in front on me. I saw him cry for the first time, i couldnt hold it and cried along. He really wanted me to come back..but of course i didnt right away, only after a week. He's gotten better in many aspects and although we have small fights once in a while (I always burst after accumulating stress from work, and daily life, mainly complaining about him, and our friendship) our friendship seems to be going well..(so far) Sometimes tho i really feel like im pushing him to be my friend, so i back up and leave some distance, then he comes asking whats wrong being all sweet trying to work things out..its really flattering. And confuses my feeling all the time. Yes, i know this is doing no good for me, and that i should move out again but for good, and i am looking for an apartment at this moment, but maan..its so hard.

artjock

Feb 3, 2008, 11:27 PM

Fred
I've read most of the posts and your update. All the time that I was reading, I wonder if you had several issues that you were dealing with. First, yourself and your own possible bisexuality. Your bud seems to be a good man. If you are really close to him why not check out his position on bisexuals? I recall you writing that he seemed tolerant. Then why not open up a little to him about your own sexuality...just a little. Let him know that you are wondering if you are bisexual. (of course all in confidence with him). Don't introduce your feelings for him at this point. If you think that you might be comfortable sharing your sexuality....why not with him...your best friend. Just tell him not to tell his chic...(my best bud told his girlfriend at the time after I opened up to him. I told him that I couldn't share my bisexual life stuff with him because of that break in confidence. I know that his now wife is kewl about it without even asking her...I just know but ...).

Getting your own place may be a good move if you can afford it. I have a suspicion that he will want you to stay though for some reason from what you write.

Best of fortune.

alaskacouple

Feb 4, 2008, 1:42 AM

Fred,

I too have read all of the posts on your thread and I'm glad that 'artjock' made the point he just did. I was much younger than you when I had my first experience with another male. It seems that maybe you have done at least some research into bisexuality in order to give yourself a score on the Kinsey scale. That makes me think that you are as prepared as any of us were to try to start understanding your sexuality. But if you haven't read much on the subject I would recommend that you do - you will find that bisexuality is quite normal.

That said, what 'Henna' has been stressing to you also has merit. You are basically obsessed just now with your best friend. When we get obsessed like this we often loose perspective and make an ass of ourselves. It is very easy to project your own feelings of love onto your friend and convince yourself that he has the same type of feelings for you. But then again, he just might. And if he does, you will have found what many search for all of their life and never find - that being love.

It's probably good advice that you put some distance between the two of you for awhile. I don't think you need to sever your friendship, but you should try to put some other things into your life for awhile and let the 'crush of obsession' subside a bit. And while you are away and have some time, do think about your sexuality; - pick up some gay or bi porn and see if watching two men together arouses you - read and study about bisexuality - etc. And remember, there are many 'flavors' of bisexuals and even homosexuals - you don't have to change the way you act, dress or anything else to be a bisexual. Most gays and bisexuals are just normal everyday people and you will never know they are bi unless they choose to reveal it to you. So don't freak out and think you have to be a flamboyant gay type just because you are attracted to men. Just be you. Once your heart quits fluttering so rapidly, begin to add some time back together with your friend (if you are both still interested).

If you find that you still have feelings of love for him then at some point you will have to try to determine if he is bisexual also. Only you will be able to figure out how best to do that, but perhaps you two could pick up some porn movies one night and you could 'accidentally' pick out a bi or gay one - or perhaps you could talk about gay marriage rights, and let your feelings for tolerance be known - or perhaps you have a mutual 'gay' friend and you could let him know that you don't hold any prejudicial feelings against gays, etc. Then you could maybe get a better idea of how he truly thinks about homosexuality.

Well, a lot of words there - sorry, but hope you might find some of them helpful. Best wishes to you.

NorthBiEast

Feb 4, 2008, 8:21 PM

I think it is too easy for people to say..''Yeah, I reckon you're bi''.... without first thinking about all the things that go through our heads....straight, gay or bi.

You are still very young....and 22 doesn't always mean really mature...no disrespect meant there. So keep away....and let things settle...and remember...we do love our close friends.....whether we be straight, gay or bi. Good luck.

I definately agree with these comments. I work with troubled teens, and almost all of them identify themselves as bi. Clearly, its fine with me if they are, but for most of them, I have a hard time believing it.

They seem to reach out for anyone willing to show them affection and care, whether its male or female. Unfortunately, they seem to assume that affection means they have to be having sex with that person, or at least be "dating". (they aren't allowed to date one another where I work, so "dating" means passing notes when staff aren't looking, and making googly eyes over the dinner table :love:)

I'm glad that it is socially acceptable to be bi or gay/lesbian, but I wish that more people could understand that love can be between friends. I especially wish that "my" kids had never been shown that "kindness=sex."

Fred, that probably doesn't help you much, and I'm not trying to say that you're troubled or anything, but I couldn't help but draw the connection in my mind.

:yinyang:

fredstreuli

Apr 4, 2008, 5:38 AM

Hey guys.. Here I come again..
I would love to give you good news, to you all, who cared and took your precious time to support me, but..unfortunately, Its bad news.
I couldnt bare it anymore.. yes, heheh i totally sound like a frustrated house wife, its ridiculous.. I moved out for good now. I quit my job too. Left everyone who were relying on me.. Threw away "responsability", "consideration towards others", "maturity", "social manners and morals". I screwed everyone. And I know it might look wrong, totally wrong from the outside point of view, but, i dont regret what I did, and I even think this happened for a reason.
Yes, I'm still young, and I have so much to do for my future. I still need to finish my studies (which i stopped because my job needed me), and finally have a NORMAL LIFESTYLE.
I was trapped in a small cage which they called the "small kingdom". No one obligated me to stay there, i made that choice, because I loved my job, and I loved the people there, and most of all, because I was blindly in love with my best friend - my job's director. Big mistake. I knew from my experience that working with a friend of yours is not a good idea. But IMAGINE working, LIVING AAAND unconditionally LOVING that friend..and just to top it all, he's the son of the owner of the company. It doesnt end there..he has learning disabilities..the so called ADD. Which i had no problem dealing with since my brother and father has it aswell.(And this disorder changes easily depending on the person's will). But, this guy was a special case.. I didnt know it would be so hard for him to change.. in aspects of work (always forgetting things, irresponsability, making mistakes which i always had to deal with after), disorganization both at work and in private life..discoordination, miscommunication, clumsyness, tendency to be on the clouds (mostly thinking and fantasizing about his obsession-his ex) and the list goes on..And you must be thinking why how I could still bare him for a year and a half, living and working together? How could I love a man like this? I guess its because regardless of all the shits he does and has, he tries. He tries to change, but oh its frustrating when u thought he'd changed in one aspect but would repeat the same thing again, and again..But he tries..when i told you he cried telling me he'd change..he'd go back to start again, and then screw up again,..and i would give up again, but he'll ask me for another chance, he'd tell me he'd change...same cycle over and over..But i guess because i knew his inside-his kindness, nobleness, sweetness, his way of loving someone (his ex), his sensitiveness, his soft and masculine voice, his physical beauty, strength, naiveness.. totally hipnotized me..and couldnt just leave him. I kept telling myself, "We can make it", "We're different", "We're an exception"..I wanted to believe that even with this fatal combination, things could work out somehow.
It didnt take long for me to discover that nothing else in the world but his ex mattered for him, after sneaking into some of the billion love letters that he writes to his ex even now. I read and was dissapointed to see that..he was only trying to be better for his ex, to be loved by her again, and no other reason. Because, as he wrote, she is the only reason why he's living..He doesnt care about the business his father assigned to him, he's just there to look good for his ex, and does what is being told only, he doesnt care what other people think, which of course meant he didnt care about what i thought or did too. So I felt like an idiot bitching, preaching at him all the time...thinking I was doing it for his own good, for the company, for others..But with my unconditional love towards him, I didnt care...I kept trying to bring him to earth, trying to make him love others too, trying to make him love, me. So that way he could maybe be better at anything else.
I worked with almost the same salary as any new starter, being in a very high position, with the whole business on my back, full of pressure from other superiors, because they couldnt count on the director and they knew i was the only one who was able to deal with him...but i didnt care. I was doing it not for me..I was doing it for him..for his family's business.. I kept losing more and more weight with stress, while he was always in beautiful shape..its the difference of body metabolism too, but i could see the blatant difference of stressing levels. I could see that my mental health was not going good like this..and the pressure kept getting heavier and heavier because of my incompetent employees, till i reached a level in which i was about to explode..and at the right timing, when i was going to buy some materials for work with HIM, he tells me "we're running out of time, why didnt you buy them(the materials) before? I was busy with work but u had plenty of time"....i held my emotions and calmly told him "have u seen my schedule this week? then u'll know why", but he answers "then how about last week?".....I could have just knocked him off while he was driving but held myself again and told him "WE WERE TOGETHER ALL THE TIME DONT U REMEMBER??", and his answer was "sure". Thats when i exploded and left the car, did the shopping i had to do and went back by myslf. Kept doing my work till he came abruptly telling me what was going on with my attitude, so i told him how stressed i was and how pissed i was at him..which he answered.."sure". that was it, thats when i thought, "fuck everything". Lost control, threw stuff on the floor and he told me to get out if i was gna bring this attitude twards him. So i did without hesitating..left the company next day, and my other superior told me how irresponsable i am for doing this, how inmature, and how disconsiderate i am....AFTER ALMOST TWO YEARS SCREWING MY LIFE TO HELP OTHERS, TO HELP THAT SON OF A BITCH. All the effort and results that i was bringing this company..for what. I dont know..for what...just..FUCK HIM AND FUCK THE OTHERS TOO.

Life is so unfair...people are disgusting...they made from a socially ethical, well mannered, hard working, considerate, positive person, into a misanthropic monster filled with grudge..

I have only told you a simple version of the long story..but if you kew all the details (which would take a whole book) of whats been going on..u would understand me...

Im sorry to bring this heavy personal diary here..but i just want someone..anyone to understand this feeling...this sadness that turned into disbelief in people, society, and mostly because I loved with all my soul to end up...not even empty.. destroyed.. whatever.. im a loser i guess for bringing this up here. I dont wanna get pity from anyone, i just wanna know what u think about this..is it fair? was I wrong? Is the action I took at the end morally incorrect? Do I deserve to be despised?

Thank you for taking your time to read all this crap...sorry for the grammar...and for my poor English.

The Barefoot Contess

Apr 4, 2008, 7:18 AM

I am sorry to read about your situation. It is definitely not fair, but life is not fair anyway. It is great to have hopes and dreams, and to try to change things, but the truth is that sometimes those ideals are shattered. As they say, bad things happen to good people. I have been in situations that could be compared to yours only to be disappointed over and over again, and I know that one just wants to give up and screw everything. It is logical, and there is nothing "wrong" or morally incorrect with that. Not at all. In fact, it is quite the opposite. You had the courage to stand up for yourself and refused to be stepped on. You chose what was good for you. That does not make you a bad person, but someone who gave all he had to change things and finally realized that change needs effort from both sides. There is really nothing we can do to help someone who does not want to be helped, or is unable to take the steps that would make change and/or improvement possible.
It seems to me that part of your frustration comes from the fact that he relies on you on a daily basis but his only real interest is in his girlfriend. I might be totally off here, but I would not be surprised if his attitude with you (promising change and such) were also the same he has with her, but you just don't know about it. He seems like the kind of person who would lie to everyone just to maintain a situation that is "comfortable" for him. Please, forgive me if I am misjudging him here.
However, if he is honestly in love with her, there is nothing you can do. It sucks when your feelings are not reciprocated and you feel used, but you cannot force someone to love you. Try to not confuse this "love frustration" with other negative feelings you might have for him. What I am trying to say is that you should make sure that if you decide to leave him, it is not only because you are heartbroken.
Finally, the hardest part. I am a cynic myself, and I know how hard it is to remain hopeful when we see our efforts are in vain. But, if you take away hope, there is just nothing left. Try to not extend your frustration to the world because one person (or many) hurt you. Use your anger to understand people and yourself better. Part of my cynicism comes from fear of misplacing hope. It is of course impossible to know where to place hope, and whom to trust, and all that. You risk being disappointed, but you are also taking a chance at life. When placed correctly, when used for something, hope is what ultimately can make things change/happen. I think about it as a tea-light candle. It lasts a hell of a lot longer than you think such a small candle should, but it is no bonfire. It doesn't light the way for masses, but for someone who gets close, I think I can help, on an individual level, to at least remind someone, and yourself, that it is important to have a candle lit.
You can make it, you are different. If you give up, they win. Only if you keep trying will you help to make your love the rule, and their selfishness the exception. But trying, remember, does not mean that you have to allow people to take advantage of you. You don't have to fall over and over again to "prove" your strength. Your strength comes from the knowledge that you did all you could. Sometimes people will respond, and sometimes they won't, and that is life, and we need to live with that fact. There is only so much one can do, or should do. So, take it one step at a time, and don't give up (I am not talking about him here, but about life in general), but don't destroy yourself in the process.

Skater Boy

Apr 5, 2008, 11:06 AM

(sorry I called you Freud, Fred)

Freudian slip, perhaps? :tong:

Bluebiyou

Apr 5, 2008, 11:25 AM

Hey, fredstreuli,

Dude, chill. I'm 46, 47 in another month and there's no FUCKING way I'd ever bear what you've been bearing.
I'd never shoulder responsibility for someone else's crap like you have.
You did the best thing for you that you've done in a while.
LOL... when someone wants to saddle you with responsibility for their failure... LOL... if he comes crawling back .... you should offer ... half your services... at twice the wage. The guy's gonna freakin' crash... unless he can find someone else to take responsibility for his dreams and ambitions.
Good lord! Man you're 22! Your future is WIDE OPEN! Mine is still VERY open at 47! What the Fuck, over?
Reality check... you have enormous potential and a lot to offer. Finish school. Fer God's sake, finish school NOW ( you won't believe how much harder it is later). Strap yourself into debt up to the hilt to finish school. Beg, borrow, steal, (or come live with me as my lover!) but finish school! No matter WHAT your talents are, they are multiplied with a degree behind you!!!!
That's the best I can relate/say/communicate to you... LOL at... LOL 22 years old!!!!! (my laughing is from envy and simplicity of course-of-action on your part!)

Skater Boy

Apr 5, 2008, 11:39 AM

Bluebiyou

Apr 6, 2008, 1:57 AM

..not to mention I had quite the 'potty mouth'...
J'regrets. I got a little stewed after work.
Good for you, fredstreuli. Your decisions look great from my perspective.