Black and White

[TaylorMade]

This question has been hanging out in the back of my head for years, but was reawakened with a conversation w/ my co-worker, B. (B is straight and female)

I was checking out one of the guys from Abercrombie and Fitch and she said, "I don't get how you like white guys so much."

Me: "Eh, it's a whole thing. . ."

B: "Have you ever been with a black man?"

Me: "No. Never wanted to. . .I had a crush on black guys at my church and at school when I was young, but it seemed once I got to 7th grade, I didn't get them, they didn't get me." (I went into more detail on this, and I will discuss this further in this post, in the interest of full disclosure.)

B: "Well, I was molested by a black teenager when I was younger ..."

At this point, another co-worker, A, interjects.

A: "I don't get you and white guys either. . .American white guys scare me... it's like they're all psychos and child molesters."

Me and B: "What kind of white men are YOU meeting?"

A: "None. . .wait, I'm not saying they're all like that. . .just how they appear to me."

Me: Oh-Kay. . .

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So- - I want to ask this fragment of the bisexual community. . .if you have preferences for or against a certain race, why? How did it start? (I admit I really want to know why some people prize black men as sexual partners)

Personal disclosure-- my preference for white/latino men DID start in 7th grade. I'd always liked them, but it took over in 7th grade. My father blames himself. . .He's sort of right in that when I was young, he always had Queen, Led Zeppelin, or the Rolling Stones blasting in the car. So by that time, I had a healthy appreciation of the "classics". At that time, Rap was giving away to Gangsta Rap- - bringing about a culture change that my already too-sheltered self was not ready for.

And then Anthology Came out.

And they started showing Hard Days Night and Help on the TV.

Professing your love for the Beatles while everyone else in your inner city middle school (http://apmays.dadeschools.net/) is falling for Tupac is the equivalent of social seppuku. I was teased, beaten, and generally made to feel that I definitely was the odd kid out.

I felt out of place- - I looked like everyone else, but I was NOT like everyone else. . .basically, an Oreo. (For those that don't know... white on the inside, black on the outside)

And I felt like shit about it. . .till someone came along side and helped me feel comfortable in my own skin. . .a guy named Nicky. . .Nicky was chunky with brown hair and blue eyes... and one of maybe 20 white kids in the school. He and I never got involved (he was dating someone else) but I guess I experienced what psychologists called "positive transference" . . .the good feelings I felt about Nicky got transferred and gave grace to an entire group of guys. . .

Later when I reached sexual maturity, the cultural commonalities expanded to aesthetic appreciation. The way they smiled, the way they moved (shy yet quietly confident), the way their hair smelled, how tattoos stood out so boldly and colorfully on their skin, and how they moaned when they came.


Those are my reasons, what are yours?

*Taylor*

[pasco_lol_cpl]

Woah. Thanks for the explanation. I found it fascinating. I cant say that I have a preference one way or the other but you have given me some insight to my best friend, a guy who I love as my brother, the man who is god father to one of my children, who all call him their uncle. See your story sounds a lot like his. He too felt like a fish out of water, but after all these years I have no idea what set him apart from his peers. All I know is the sometimes frustration that he has felt.

[MarieDelta]

I have athought here.

Its Ok to be attracted to someone who has qualities that are different from your own. Be it accent , skin color or sex or religion or gender.

But its not ok to let that be the only thing about them you are attracted to. If that is the case and you are only attracted to them because of that then that is a fetish. Which has more to do with the fetishist than the object of that persons attractions.

OK


Thats it I've said my piece.

[jem_is_bi]

I was raised in an all white upper middle class world. I almost never saw a black person. I had an almost perfect existence. First class schools, huge circle friends and playmates, all my physical and emotional needs satisfied.
Why is this important? Because no one felt the need to ”educate” me that black, Hispanic, etc. people were inferior. I guess I was supposed to just know that was the way it was.
Of course, as soon as I graduated from high school and interacted with white and black coworkers I learned that this racist view of others was totally false. So, I feel fortunate that because of my sheltered life, I was never indoctrinated with hatred or fear of others different than me. I like people based only on how I like them. Would I have sex with a person of another race? Yes, but race would not be a factor in my decision. Have I already done that?

JEM

[DiamondDog]

So who is A?

[The Barefoot Contess]

This is an interesting topic. I personally don't have preferences that are strong enough to rule anyone out just because of his or her race. This said, I find Indians and Japanese generally attractive. I don't have an explanation as to why, it just happens :-p
My best friend, a white guy, only dates black men. He would date other races if he felt attracted to someone, but he will not go out of his way to meet non-black guys. He must be sick and tired of people asking him whether that is not racist. I love his response: "so, are you a racist because you only date white people? Why does no one ever ask a white person why they date white people? Is that not a preference equal to mine?" Then people tend to shut up.
I believe we feel attracted to different things, and race might be one of them. Whether race is a determining factor is a personal issue, the same as liking blue-eyed or religious or liberal people. You might be missing out if your criteria are too strict, but then again compatibility and/or attraction are not to be dismissed, imho.

[TaylorMade]

So who is A?

She is half Korean, her boyfriend is black ,she lives with him and his child from a previous relationship. . .many times she's stick at home caring for the kid.

*Taylor*

[Tingly_Tickles]

Well I'm attracted to people thats about it I only have preference on age basically.
However I can say my personal prefs are women & men in the order of which ever
comes first.

I seem to be growing more fond of darker skinned girls here lately though not sure
why but eh I don't care either way I got my wife and I'm super happy as can be.

[Skater Boy]

I have athought here.

Its Ok to be attracted to someone who has qualities that are different from your own. Be it accent , skin color or sex or religion or gender.

But its not ok to let that be the only thing about them you are attracted to. If that is the case and you are only attracted to them because of that then that is a fetish. Which has more to do with the fetishist than the object of that persons attractions.

OK


Thats it I've said my piece.

I found this an interesting post, Marie. IMHO, lots of people become fetishistic about other races... even if they don't realize it, or live in denial about it. Personally, I'm not opposed to it at all... whatever floats peoples' boats. It doesn't seem much different to fetishizing anything else. But if you can tell us more about the psychodynamics involved in "Fetishism", then that might be useful.

At a guess, I'd say that some people who select partners based on them being of a different race may have a deep-seeded psychological reason for doing so. A "Complex" you could say. Either that, or they just get off on the fact that their parter is very different to them.

Either way it doesn't really matter that much, as long as everyone is happy and consenting.

[diB4u]

I found this an interesting post, Marie. IMHO, lots of people become fetishistic about other races... even if they don't realize it, or live in denial about it. Personally, I'm not opposed to it at all... whatever floats peoples' boats. It doesn't seem much different to fetishizing anything else. But if you can tell us more about the psychodynamics involved in "Fetishism", then that might be useful.

At a guess, I'd say that some people who select partners based on them being of a different race may have a deep-seeded psychological reason for doing so. A "Complex" you could say. Either that, or they just get off on the fact that their parter is very different to them.

Either way it doesn't really matter that much, as long as everyone is happy and consenting.



See. now I'm the opposite. Being mixed race, black and white, i dont really find black men attractive. Whilst there are very handsome men out there that i do find attractive the men that seem to fancy me- they're only interested in the body and not the package. Sometimes its rather frightening how lude and rude they can be.

However non sexually i treat everyone with respect, untill they dont show me respect then thats a totally different kettle of fish.

It's like not every man or woman would find me attractive, that I can deal with. However saying that most larger women are with black men. Why is that? Is that what Marie stated in her post just another form of fetish?

Maybe thats the reason why I dont date black men. I have done in the past and not a happy time of it.
Mostly I'm attracted to caucasian, mixed raced people.

I will stress again, its not a racist thing far from it. Maybe im just kicking back from well your a bbw woman and go with a black man... Kinda a trophy boyfriend, or I could be the trophy girlfriend.

Ironically the majority of black men- and this is only in my eyes only- have no problems with daiting a big woman. Another reason could be that being raised in a white English family, going to a predomintaly white school, having mostly white friends growing up then thats the culture that I lached onto.

Growing up I can actuarlly count on one hand how many non white children went to my school... in 1980 i started my schooling. I would say one chinese girl who was my friend, one black boy and three (of which I was one) mixed race.

[Skater Boy]

I knew you would have something to say about this one, Donna! :)

Anyway, I think its virtually impossible to explain (with any degree of certainty) the REAL reason why one person finds another sexually attractive. Unless you're a psychoanalyst... and even then, much of it is an educated guess. As some of Freud's now discredited theories prove.

I suppose we can simplify our own current sexual feelings greatly and then cross-reference them with our psychological histories. But the human sexuality is an immensely complicated thing, which is probably influenced by a whole myriad of factors, so I (for one) am not even going to TRY and explain it. Because I'd fail miserably if I did.

I think its more important to concern yourself with WHO and WHAT you currently are, rather WHY you came to be that way. Unless there's something seriously wrong with you, in which case a visit to a specialist might be in order...

[diB4u]

I knew you would have something to say about this one, Donna! :)

Anyway, I think its virtually impossible to explain (with any degree of certainty) the REAL reason why one person finds another sexually attractive. Unless you're a psychoanalyst... and even then, much of it is an educated guess. As some of Freud's now discredited theories prove.

I suppose we can simplify our own current sexual feelings greatly and then cross-reference them with our psychological histories. But the human sexuality is an immensely complicated thing, which is probably influenced by a whole myriad of factors, so I (for one) am not even going to TRY and explain it. Because I'd fail miserably if I did.

I think its more important to concern yourself with WHO and WHAT you currently are, rather WHY you came to be that way. Unless there's something seriously wrong with you, in which case a visit to a specialist might be in order...

Of course Skater you know me well enough by now lol...

Yeah that is probably the better way about it. I've always thought why has a person done this and why that way. What is going on in their head, why behave like that?

LOL guess im just a wanna be psychologist lol..

[Skater Boy]

Yeah that is probably the better way about it. I've always thought why has a person done this and why that way. What is going on in their head, why behave like that?

LOL guess im just a wanna be psychologist lol..

Well, the truth is that you'll probably never know for sure. But if you're serious about finding out, you shouldn't let that stop you from going on your quest... partial answers are better than no answers at all. IF you really want/need to know the answers, that is.

[TaylorMade]

Well, the truth is that you'll probably never know for sure. But if you're serious about finding out, you shouldn't let that stop you from going on your quest... partial answers are better than no answers at all. IF you really want/need to know the answers, that is.

And that's why I posted this topic...I just really wanna know.

'Cos it's obvious I don't get it.

*Taylor*

[Skater Boy]

And that's why I posted this topic...I just really wanna know.

'Cos it's obvious I don't get it.

*Taylor*

Ah, Taylor... whats to get? You are who you are, and thats that. If anyone here could answer your question as fully as it deserves to be answered, they'd probably win a Nobel Prize for their contribution to understanding how the human mind works.

If you do a little independant research (ie. books) on the subject of sexuality, you'll probably find some enlightening material. Not necessarily wholly accurate, but I think standing on the shoulders of giants is the closest you (or any of us) will ever come to fully understanding why these things are the way they are.

Otherwise, its a bit like trying to figure out the mechanics of how microwave ovens cook food by asking people who use them to heat up their cheeseburgers.

That said, I'm sure there's probably valuable information contained in many of the posts above.

[TaylorMade]

Ah, Taylor... whats to get? You are who you are, and thats that. If anyone here could answer your question as fully as it deserves to be answered, they'd probably win a Nobel Prize for their contribution to understanding how the human mind works.

If you do a little independant research (ie. books) on the subject of sexuality, you'll probably find some enlightening material. Not necessarily wholly accurate, but I think standing on the shoulders of giants is the closest you (or any of us) will ever come to fully understanding why these things are the way they are.

Otherwise, its a bit like trying to figure out the mechanics of how microwave ovens cook food by asking people who use them to heat up their cheeseburgers.

That said, I'm sure there's probably valuable information contained in many of the posts above.

I don't wanna go to the library!!! *cry*

And where would I find books about race and sexual perception?

*Taylor*

[Skater Boy]

I don't wanna go to the library!!! *cry*

And where would I find books about race and sexual perception?

Hehe! Well, try Amazon.com if you're too timid to walk into Barnes and Noble and say "Hi, have you got any books on inter-racial sex?". I think I probably would be! (but thats another story). Anyway... Amazon... yeah... excellent range of books... better than your average bookshop, in fact. And cheaper!

Plus, if you're willing to wade through the multitude of porn sites that come up (although something tells me you might enjoy some of those) then you could always Google some carefully selected keywords... many educational institutions and professionals do publish their work online these days.

I've bought a few books on sexuality myself, in the past. But none that specifically related to your original question. That said, I'm quite confident that there's a fair amount material available that deals with it... so seek and ye shall find... :)

[TaylorMade]

Hehe! Well, try Amazon.com if you're too timid to walk into Barnes and Noble and say "Hi, have you got any books on inter-racial sex?". I think I probably would be! (but thats another story). Anyway... Amazon... yeah... excellent range of books... better than your average bookshop, in fact. And cheaper!

Plus, if you're willing to wade through the multitude of porn sites that come up (although something tells me you might enjoy some of those) then you could always Google some carefully selected keywords... many educational institutions and professionals do publish their work online these days.

I've bought a few books on sexuality myself, in the past. But none that specifically related to your original question. That said, I'm quite confident that there's a fair amount material available that deals with it... so seek and ye shall find... :)

I'm actually tempted to try it... I've looked at alot of books, but never one from a white perspective as to why they desire black lovers. Maybe I haven't looked hard enough.

*Taylor*

[Skater Boy]

I'm actually tempted to try it... I've looked at alot of books, but never one from a white perspective as to why they desire black lovers. Maybe I haven't looked hard enough.

It probably can't hurt to try looking. Drop me a PM if you find anything of interest, and you can then share your newly found insight into my ethnic group with me. :)

[MarieDelta]

I found this an interesting post, Marie. IMHO, lots of people become fetishistic about other races... even if they don't realize it, or live in denial about it. Personally, I'm not opposed to it at all... whatever floats peoples' boats. It doesn't seem much different to fetishizing anything else. But if you can tell us more about the psychodynamics involved in "Fetishism", then that might be useful.

At a guess, I'd say that some people who select partners based on them being of a different race may have a deep-seeded psychological reason for doing so. A "Complex" you could say. Either that, or they just get off on the fact that their parter is very different to them.

Either way it doesn't really matter that much, as long as everyone is happy and consenting.



The problems happen when that other person quits being a person and becomes an object (a great ass, great boobs, great feet, great skin - for example). When one person can't become aroused because of certain charateriscs or the lack of them then its a fetish.

Of course its ok to be attracted to someone because they have ... but to not be attracted to someone because they don't have ... then why bother.

To have a relationship requires 2 people. Not one person and an object.

anyway thats my explanation.

Not that there is anything wrong with fetishizing someone, if both people are Ok with it , then go for it.

[Skater Boy]

The problems happen when that other person quits being a person and becomes an object (a great ass, great boobs, great feet, great skin - for example). When one person can't become aroused because of certain charateriscs or the lack of them then its a fetish.

Of course its ok to be attracted to someone because they have ... but to not be attracted to someone because they don't have ... then why bother.

To have a relationship requires 2 people. Not one person and an object.

anyway thats my explanation.

Not that there is anything wrong with fetishizing someone, if both people are Ok with it , then go for it.

Thanks MD! Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "the object of my affections". Actually, "object" is a psychological term too, but I won't go into that.

Yes, I guess seeing your partner as ANYTHING other than a real person is probably not wise. Although I'd guess its quite common for men (or women) to see their partners primarily as "sexual objects", if only temporarily (eg. in the bedroom).

Anyway, It would be interesting to see if a relationship based on "mutually beneficial fetishization" can prosper.

[FalconAngel]

Well, I can say that my first big crush was when I was living in Wisconsin. Kikoman Soy sauce was building a plant in Milwaukee and they had brought 100 employees and their families over to teach our people how to run the plant and make the product right.
They set the families up in an apartment complex down the street from us and I had made friends with some of the other kids there.
Her name was Yumiko and I thought that she was very cute. I was 13 and she was 12, I think. Ever since then, something about Asians just turns me on.

Of course, I have had my share of black men and women, and in their case, I think the biggest turn on is the soft sensuous lips that really turns me on.

But then again, there is something about every different race that I can find to turn me on. :P

[dickhand]

I was born and brought up an army brat . My dad was in the army for 21 years . He met my german mother and married her during a tour in Germany . I happened to be born there as well . Up until high school we moved quite often . I was exposed to all races growing up . I was fortunate to have parents who judged other people by their actions and their skin color or race . I played with African Americans , Hispniac Americans , Korean Americans , Jewish Americans , Catholic Americans , ect. as a kid . We always had mixed races attending mom's Thanks Giving & Christmas dinners . I am repulsed by racist jokes and racism in any form . I am as lilly white as you can be . I married and recently lost a mexican girl after 30 years .

[Eileen]

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So- - I want to ask this fragment of the bisexual community. . .if you have preferences for or against a certain race, why? How did it start? (I admit I really want to know why some people prize black men as sexual partners)



*Taylor*
Do I have any preferences for or against a certain race (which I view as socially constructed anyway)? No. Nor do I consider black men *prized as sexual partners* I think that would be considered a fetish (like someone mentioned earlier).
I grew up in a predominantly white, middle class community and while well aware of differences, they didn't matter. I had rock loving 'black' friends and hiphop loving 'white' friends and it all was ok with me. Sometimes I could not relate to either music, aesthetic, style, etc. of any of it and sometimes I could absorb it all. Some of my friends could understand that about me and some could not. I attempted to stamp out my own space in the midst of it all. I related most to people who related to me and skin color was not then, nor is it now, a factor. Not to say that this was always easy and that I automatically knew all of the answers, but in learning to embrace every part of me... I grew up. A loving, accepting parter, regardless... irregardless of color... is all that matters, imo.

[Eileen]

See. now I'm the opposite. Being mixed race, black and white, i dont really find black men attractive. Whilst there are very handsome men out there that i do find attractive the men that seem to fancy me- they're only interested in the body and not the package. Sometimes its rather frightening how lude and rude they can be.

However non sexually i treat everyone with respect, untill they dont show me respect then thats a totally different kettle of fish.

It's like not every man or woman would find me attractive, that I can deal with. However saying that most larger women are with black men. Why is that? Is that what Marie stated in her post just another form of fetish?

Maybe thats the reason why I dont date black men. I have done in the past and not a happy time of it.
Mostly I'm attracted to caucasian, mixed raced people.

I will stress again, its not a racist thing far from it. Maybe im just kicking back from well your a bbw woman and go with a black man... Kinda a trophy boyfriend, or I could be the trophy girlfriend.

Ironically the majority of black men- and this is only in my eyes only- have no problems with daiting a big woman. Another reason could be that being raised in a white English family, going to a predomintaly white school, having mostly white friends growing up then thats the culture that I lached onto.

Growing up I can actuarlly count on one hand how many non white children went to my school... in 1980 i started my schooling. I would say one chinese girl who was my friend, one black boy and three (of which I was one) mixed race.
Wow. Not all black men date big women. Not all black men are rude and only want women for their bodies. I'm honestly ok with people's preferences, but sometimes the justifications for such preferences can be baffling. Some men, of all *races* like curvy women. What is now considered the norm, was considered way too small years ago. As a matter of fact, I like to break things down like this: all human beings originated from Africa. Therefore, we are all African. Although we have all dispersed into different clans and culture (etc), we all share the same core. We are all human beings. There are respectful, attractive, loving people of all *races* and there are mean, hateful, disrespectful people of all *races*. Rudeness is NOT a *racial* thing. No one *race* corners the market. Anyway, I'll stop now. Pressing on.

[Eileen]

I was born and brought up an army brat . My dad was in the army for 21 years . He met my german mother and married her during a tour in Germany . I happened to be born there as well . Up until high school we moved quite often . I was exposed to all races growing up . I was fortunate to have parents who judged other people by their actions and their skin color or race . I played with African Americans , Hispniac Americans , Korean Americans , Jewish Americans , Catholic Americans , ect. as a kid . We always had mixed races attending mom's Thanks Giving & Christmas dinners . I am repulsed by racist jokes and racism in any form . I am as lilly white as you can be . I married and recently lost a mexican girl after 30 years .

I am sorry for your loss.

[mannysg]

Interesting discussion. For me, the black/white issue isn't so simple. What I find attractive in "real life" doesn't exactly match up to what I find attractive in pictures/videos, except for body style.

I enjoy watching interracial sex. Something about the contrast in skin colors turns me on. When looking at pictures or watching videos, I'm attracted mostly to white/Hispanic women but there are many black women who I find quite attractive. My attraction to men in pictures/videos is more varied with race not being a factor.

In "real life" the whole package is more of a turn on then race, size, age, etc. Personality, mannerisms, attitude, intelligence, etc. play the biggest role in who I find attractive. I don't find the "model" figure very attractive (in real life OR in pictures/videos). I prefer average to large women: 20 or more pounds overweight, even (in some cases) to as much as nearly 200 pounds overweight. I prefer men who are thin to a little overweight. Larger men can be attractive also in some cases.

[Not2str8]

Very interesting topic. I have had white lovers and black lovers, (women) and while it's dangerous to generalize, I have noticed that each group had certain traits and tendencies that set it apart from the other. I want to stress that these were my experiences only, and I don't intend to paint with the proverbial "broad brush". The white women I have come in contact with, in a dating scenario tended to be more uptight and afraid to let loose, both sexually and in life, in general. The black women I've been with seemed to embrace their own sexuality much more readily, were way less uptight about it, and seemed to have a more relaxed, happier outlook on life in general. I have found them to be less demanding and much less into playing head games, just for the sake of playing them. In short, they were more open minded, easier for me to relate to, quicker to get to know, and none of them had emotional "walls" up, designed to keep me or others out.
Of course there have been some notable exceptions, as there will always be when generalizing such as I have here, but these have been my experiences, and my perceptions as a result of them.

[Not2str8]

Oh I thought I should mention, I am a white guy. ( The picture accompanying my posts is not me. That's John Lee Hooker) :bigrin:

[proseros]

Oh I thought I should mention, I am a white guy. ( The picture accompanying my posts is not me. That's John Lee Hooker) :bigrin:

Hey!Lookeeithur
And there's Sonnyboy Williamson II [Rice Miller]!

[proseros]

-------------------
To get on topic though...

As an African American Male, one living in New York (I dunno if that's supposed to make a difference but I mention it anyway), I've dealt with all kinds of racial stupidness and total disrespect and insensitivity-if you wanna call it that-right at my door, right in my face, which I don't mind; BUT I do feel a certain way about how society really, everyone else "regard" or "dis-regard" Black People, along with the ethnic double-standards that accompany oodles of ignorance. So I don't mind admitting that yes I got a BIG ship on my shoulder and if I ever come off as the conventional "angry Black Man" I can only ask anyone to love me in spite of it as I would them - because it really really hurts to be so frustrated you can barely relate to anyone and otherwise, you're just considered "angry". So that has stopped me from loving a lot of people and recognizing their sincerity in extending love to me.

I suppose my bisexuality is the 'resolution' (and I refer to the Eastern idea of "resolve" here as opposed to the Western (which just seems to blow things up when they don't agree-"problem" solved.) to that pain which allows me to meet human beings on some kind of oddball common ground that gets past race and touches something far more important and wonderful on behalf of everyone. The first woman I really 'loved' was Caucasian, which was a long time ago; I've never had sex with a White woman, but I have twice with White men (A union I refer to as "DoveandCrow" described in skrying as "Dove and Crow beaking feathered tails" consistent with ATU 0 of the TARO Sphere of Premium Mobile reflected from BNH/CHSD. A fine vision) This is where I seek communion with two women of distinct ethnicity besides as well as man (Asian or Hispanic), for the sake of a cooperative human family.

My attraction to either white men or woman is modest, yet having had so little direct interaction with diverse culture and background on a purely social level (work doesn't count), it is often hard to find the relation and build bridges and bonds that real parts of you can not touch or cross. I want to be able to know its okay to return the love and too often it may feel like anything but that. So one defends and retreats.

I have things to get over. But people do have things to learn.
Let's learn together.:bibounce::three::bibounce:

[jeancarleo]

There's all kinds of skin colors in my family that I don't mind dating whatever the person is like on that matter.

I do believe some white people prefer blacks because they have more to offer in terms of package, lips and so on. Not true all the time but more true than in other races.

[ambi53mm]

So- - I want to ask this fragment of the bisexual community. . .if you have preferences for or against a certain race, why? How did it start? (I admit I really want to know why some people prize black men as sexual partner?

*Taylor*

Interesting question Taylor....and I'm not sure I have an answer. I think personal preferences have a lot to do with those influences that begin to shape us when we're very young. Some are so deeply ingrained in our psyches that despite our best efforts, they seems to lurk in the back of our heads, hearts and souls. I can barely know and comprehend the inner most complexities of who or what I am much less someone else. It's a mystery that lies beyond my comprehension.
If I was your Dad, I'd be very proud to have a daughter who thinks the way you do..very proud.

Ambi:)

PS ....and his taste in music ROCKS;)

[Skater Boy]

If I was your Dad, I'd be very proud to have a daughter who thinks the way you do..very proud.

Amen. You had the balls (for want of a better way of puting it) to be an individual and true to yourself... even when those around you were mocking you and worshipping their own false idols. Thats an accomplishment that ANY father should be proud of. :cool:

I *wish* I had as much inner strength as you... :bowdown:

[TaylorMade]

Well, my dad is the parent I came out to (I didn't really come out to him... funny story (http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3524)) and even after I came out, he does say to me. . ."I am very proud of you" . . .so I guess maybe the whole stubborn individualism thing worked out in my favor.

*Taylor*

[Skater Boy]

Well, my dad is the parent I came out to (I didn't really come out to him... funny story (http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3524)) and even after I came out, he does say to me. . ."I am very proud of you" . . .so I guess maybe the whole stubborn individualism thing worked out in my favor.

Ach... see... your dad sounds like a pretty cool dude, all things considered. My dad has NEVER once said anything like that to me, and the best I get from him are smarmy and sarcastic remarks. Especially concerning my sexuality.

Consider yourself lucky...

[diB4u]

Awww not good at all my friend, you know what as long as your family and friends love you for who you are then.... however if your dad is agressive and down right rude about who you are that is another story all together. At least smarmy and sarcastical comments is better than anything.... Some fathers in particula when they find out their childs gay/bisexual etc they disown them.

Smarmy and Sarcastic you can deal with....


Taylor made wow cool dad that you have got there.

See strangers i dont give a monkeys ass who knows what i am... My nearest and dearest yeah i do, some of them kinda knew i had an inclinging or an attraction to women anyways.... I think that i gave the game away when I told my friends I had a 3 sum with one man and another woman.

[Skater Boy]

Awww not good at all my friend, you know what as long as your family and friends love you for who you are then.... however if your dad is agressive and down right rude about who you are that is another story all together. At least smarmy and sarcastical comments is better than anything.... Some fathers in particula when they find out their childs gay/bisexual etc they disown them.

Smarmy and Sarcastic you can deal with....

Yeah, I guess you're right. I should probably be thankful that he's never gone beyond smarmy and sarcastic. I don't, by my very nature, deal with those things very well. but I suppose a little criticism is inevitable in this world, and I should learn to deal with it. Thanks.

[diB4u]

Yeah, I guess you're right. I should probably be thankful that he's never gone beyond smarmy and sarcastic. I don't, by my very nature, deal with those things very well. but I suppose a little criticism is inevitable in this world, and I should learn to deal with it. Thanks.

Yeah dude that's ok, its fine thats what friends are for after all...:)

[Lateralus]

Good question, TaylorMade. While I don't have a racial preference, I was never very popular with black women. I either talked too proper, wasn't thugged out enough, or was just plain weird...lol. Even now I don't forsee many black women being into a bi-sexual black guy, with piercings, that prefers metal over rap, hates sports, and loves anime/videogames...lol.

[proseros]

Good question, TaylorMade. While I don't have a racial preference, I was never very popular with black women. I either talked too proper, wasn't thugged out enough, or was just plain weird...lol. Even now I don't forsee many black women being into a bi-sexual black guy, with piercings, that prefers metal over rap, hates sports, and loves anime/videogames...lol.

I identify. Not easy being the "oddball". I have a problem with the word "intellectual" -which seems as overused to compliment me as the largest useful word in one's vocabulary (between that and "basically" I think I lose my mind). I can on and on about the dilemma with these kinds of relationships in the bi-world; yet again as I commmented in another post may perhaps be a matter of an approach to correcting the terms with which bisexuality is regarded to begin with.

Not that I know whether being "thugged out" or "proper" is necessarily an issue more than esteemed expectations of context (cultural, ethnic, urban, blahblahblah).

I can only begin with the most straighforward conviction of identity and then perhaps, engage context with the aim of purposeful inclusion. That of course depends on selective character with respect thereof...

[Eileen]

Good question, TaylorMade. While I don't have a racial preference, I was never very popular with black women. I either talked too proper, wasn't thugged out enough, or was just plain weird...lol. Even now I don't forsee many black women being into a bi-sexual black guy, with piercings, that prefers metal over rap, hates sports, and loves anime/videogames...lol.
You never really know. It takes all types. *smile*

I do tend to think things over deeply when it comes to matters of ethnicity, which is why even though I have been a member of these boards for years, I've only recently decided to post my opinion, on this particular topic.

Like I wrote previously, I have no qualms with whom people preference, but stereotypical justifications for explaining why a particular *race* is not an option, matter of fact... downright excluded, is peculiar, imo. Especially when one shares the same *race*. For instance, not all black men are hip hop nor thuggish. What's the excuse for them not being a viable partner then, I wonder? The color of their skin, I assume.

You nor proseros seem stereotypically anything, judging by your post(s) alone, but yet, for some, you would not be considered dating material for them, based upon the color of your skin or from whence (or whom) you came.

That, if one has not grown tougher skin, could sting. Not only that, it is a loss and a shame that the beauty that is inside of you cannot and will not be respected by some because they refuse to see it.

I tend to not have such a myopic view of potential partners because I have been exposed to many, many different cultures and I can find something beautiful about all of them.

Not trying to cause controversy. Just sharing my humble opinion. But again, to each, his (or her) own.

[Eileen]

Amen. You had the balls (for want of a better way of puting it) to be an individual and true to yourself... even when those around you were mocking you and worshipping their own false idols. Thats an accomplishment that ANY father should be proud of. :cool:

I *wish* I had as much inner strength as you... :bowdown:
What does "worshipping their own false idols" mean in the context of what she was saying? What false idols? Who(m) are the real idols? No disrespect, but I do not understand what you are saying here.

[FerociousFeline]

Hmmmm. Lots of really good content here.

Personally, being the complete pleasure slut that I am, <GRIN>

A body is just that. A body. I give points to options that I like just like I do when I'm buying a car. You know, Leather bucket seats (JOY) mmmmm a certain shaped ass, almond eyes, ooooh I just LOVE that recessive gene where the earlobes are connected ....OH OH OH and I have a definite thing for blue or green eyes.

Having said that. I find I have formulated this inner idea of what I find is attractive over a long period of time and endless ..."taste tests".

I've had Irish, Saxon, Norse, German, Asian, Scot, Haitian, African, Greek, French, .........all kinds.

What attracts me most intensely is certain features most of which can be found in the gene pool of any particular one of the differing tribes. It's the combination of the features that I like which make me salivate. But then, they ARE only bodies, and therefore only one aspect of my attraction. I like intelligence, sensitivity, open and honest, loyal, not sneaky and hypocritical.


SO I guess....I like critters of any color who look or move in elven fashion who are old souls and who share my appetites.

Gosh, I hope I didn't drift off topic, I'm pretty tired.

FF

[Skater Boy]

What does "worshipping their own false idols" mean in the context of what she was saying? What false idols? Who(m) are the real idols? No disrespect, but I do not understand what you are saying here.

I guess I was saying that there probably are no REAL IDOLS. At least not in the context of kids following the crowd and idolizing pin-up musicians. But, perhaps I didn't word that well enough.

In any case, I was just trying to suggest that Taylor should be commended for having the strength to be an individual, who thinks (and feels) for herself.

[Uneedhands]

I only go for Eskimos, they keep you warm in the long winter and I have a fetish for whale blubber. My dream date would be a romantic stroll down the beach seal clubbing, then back to the igloo for a 24 of 50.

...But seriously, no. I have no racial preference. I do appreciate the variety our specie has to offer.

[Eileen]

I guess I was saying that there probably are no REAL IDOLS. At least not in the context of kids following the crowd and idolizing pin-up musicians. But, perhaps I didn't word that well enough.

In any case, I was just trying to suggest that Taylor should be commended for having the strength to be an individual, who thinks (and feels) for herself.
Thanks for clarifying.

Yes, I do agree that being an individual in the face of an overwhelming majority is something that should be commended, it's just sometimes people stray so far off of the beaten path to spite the majority, they too sometimes get lost in the process.

My mother's fiance is white. He dated women of color exclusively his entire life. I was curious as to why so I asked him. He told me that he was raised Roman Catholic and because of the guilt that was instilled in him at such an early age regarding sexuality, he begun to hate his own skin.

He chose to be an individual, dating exclusively women of color, but never came to terms with his own self hate. Do you see what I mean? This is what I was trying to express. Something that seems heroic on the outside may in fact hide guilt, fear, shame, etc.

I am not saying that this is the case with the OP, but sometimes when we peel away the many layers (preference, desire, etc.) we find that they exist to protect us from feeling hurt, guilty... whatever the case may be. No offense to anyone. Just sharing my thoughts.

[Eileen]

I only go for Eskimos, they keep you warm in the long winter and I have a fetish for whale blubber. My dream date would be a romantic stroll down the beach seal clubbing, then back to the igloo for a 24 of 50.

...But seriously, no. I have no racial preference. I do appreciate the variety our specie has to offer.

LOL
I too appreciate the variety, the diversity. Makes life that much more interesting.:)

[Skater Boy]

Do you see what I mean? This is what I was trying to express. Something that seems heroic on the outside may in fact hide guilt, fear, shame, etc.

I am not saying that this is the case with the OP, but sometimes when we peel away the many layers (preference, desire, etc.) we find that they exist to protect us from feeling hurt, guilty... whatever the case may be. No offense to anyone. Just sharing my thoughts.

Yes, I see what you mean- good point! Maybe you're right that people who have "exclusive" sexual preferences have an ulterior motive for doing so. In which case, the responsibility should lie with themselves to (as I think the OP was) question whether their motives are sincere.

That said, even if their motives AREN'T as straight-forward as first thought, there's sometimes not a lot that one can do to consciously change one's sexuality.

[FriedDuck]

-------------------
To get on topic though...

As an African American Male, one living in New York (I dunno if that's supposed to make a difference but I mention it anyway), I've dealt with all kinds of racial stupidness and total disrespect and insensitivity-if you wanna call it that-right at my door, right in my face, which I don't mind; BUT I do feel a certain way about how society really, everyone else "regard" or "dis-regard" Black People, along with the ethnic double-standards that accompany oodles of ignorance. So I don't mind admitting that yes I got a BIG ship on my shoulder and if I ever come off as the conventional "angry Black Man" I can only ask anyone to love me in spite of it as I would them - because it really really hurts to be so frustrated you can barely relate to anyone and otherwise, you're just considered "angry". So that has stopped me from loving a lot of people and recognizing their sincerity in extending love to me.

I suppose my bisexuality is the 'resolution' (and I refer to the Eastern idea of "resolve" here as opposed to the Western (which just seems to blow things up when they don't agree-"problem" solved.) to that pain which allows me to meet human beings on some kind of oddball common ground that gets past race and touches something far more important and wonderful on behalf of everyone. The first woman I really 'loved' was Caucasian, which was a long time ago; I've never had sex with a White woman, but I have twice with White men (A union I refer to as "DoveandCrow" described in skrying as "Dove and Crow beaking feathered tails" consistent with ATU 0 of the TARO Sphere of Premium Mobile reflected from BNH/CHSD. A fine vision) This is where I seek communion with two women of distinct ethnicity besides as well as man (Asian or Hispanic), for the sake of a cooperative human family.

My attraction to either white men or woman is modest, yet having had so little direct interaction with diverse culture and background on a purely social level (work doesn't count), it is often hard to find the relation and build bridges and bonds that real parts of you can not touch or cross. I want to be able to know its okay to return the love and too often it may feel like anything but that. So one defends and retreats.

I have things to get over. But people do have things to learn.
Let's learn together.:bibounce::three::bibounce:

Sorry I dont speak niggerese.

Why u gotta blame ur entire RACE and GENDER and say that being black man somehow allows u to be a total asshole and get angry and somehow u somehow understand racism better since u black man?

Is ur name OJ Simpson? He did all of that!

I dont get black men and women who say "ONLY black people understand racism and nobody else does!" or "oh he/she not BLACK enough since he/she educated, well dressed, and hates thug/nigger culture and this person try to be like EVIL white man/woman!"

[Skater Boy]

Sorry I dont speak niggerese.

Wow, what with the Mage/DD thing, the Angie Bowie article flameware, and everything else, this forum is really turning into a complete shit-hole.

Pardonnez mon Français.

[FriedDuck]

Wow, what with the Mage/DD thing, the Angie Bowie article flameware, and everything else, this forum is really turning into a complete shit-hole.

Pardonnez mon Français.

He not from country of Niger?

[proseros]

Sorry I dont speak niggerese.

Why u gotta blame ur entire RACE and GENDER and say that being black man somehow allows u to be a total asshole and get angry and somehow u somehow understand racism better since u black man?

Is ur name OJ Simpson? He did all of that!

I dont get black men and women who say "ONLY black people understand racism and nobody else does!" or "oh he/she not BLACK enough since he/she educated, well dressed, and hates thug/nigger culture and this person try to be like EVIL white man/woman!"

I don't get anything you are talking about-And quite frankly, given the vulgar reactionary tone of your response, I would not likely be at fault if in turn I responded to YOU with equal asininity.

You seem to speak "niggerese" very well for someone who doesn't, for all that it may me a language communicated with sentiment and attitude rather than the speech reflcting-and identifying-its use. Your comments contain so much "ass-u-me" that I could hardly care, save for the sake of pointing out to everyone here what sort of sociopathic wiley you display.

Apparently your ASSUMPTION about what and how I feel or think about anything has not included the obviously personal-AND THEREFORE COMPLETELY UNKNOWN TO YOU-reality of experiences, knowledge, education thoughts and feelings surrounding MY existence as an African American MAN and how it has/may have influenced how I relate to the rest of the world on a daily basis historically, socially, culturally, economically, educationally and yadda-yadda-yadda. Wutever. But since you missed that point-and EVERYONE ELSE PLEASE EXCUSE MY OVERT EMPHASIS-then HERE it is right in your fucking face.

Because it allows people like YOU to regurgitate these exact kind of dismissive arguments and inject inflammatory perspectives (WHAT THE FUCK HAS OJ SIMPSON GOT TO DO WITH ANYTHING!) that make people like ME "appear" to be nothing more than an "angry black man blaming everyone else" for thier REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE with something, while they casually turn a blind eye to the ignorances that allow them to project thier own form of civility and rationale-one that excludes, and otherwise prevents them from understanding why anyone might get angry to begin with.

In which case you are in need of some education. Instead of reacting, shut the fuck up and listen to what's being said form someone who might know something more than you think you know-

Yeah, as a matter of fact I MIGHT know a little something about racism better than a lot of folks ESPECIALLY YOU-when it comes to Black People sure! Why shouldn't I? But otherwise-NO I DON'T UNDERSTAND RACISM OR DISCRIMINATION OF ANY KIND! I NEVER DID AND I NEVER WILL! AND IF YOU DO, AND IF YOU'RE SO MUCH MORE WISER THAN I AM TO TELL ME THE DIFFERENCE, THEN EXPLAIN THAT SHIT TO ME, OKAY?

QUALIFY YOURSELF INSTEAD OF JUST TALKING SHIT.

And I do not say, nor have I ever said that that kind of anger is or should be different from anyone else's anger-It doesn't make any damned difference who we are talking about or what race they are[and in fact it doesn't have to have anything to do with "race" at all, what has has excellently been pointed out by some here with cross referencing sociological, or cultural "fetish" which IMHO is far far worse than racism (which at least includes a real human being as opposed to a mere object or fascination)-Can you say STEREOTYPE?]-which is exactly why for the purposes of this subject I identified myself as African American.

And look at how YOU react to that in spite of every other post here.

But YOU had to go and use a word here that you KNOW has a lot of issues behind it (some sites do not allow you to type that word at all)-As if to say, "here hold that!" and then wait for my response to it so you can prove that I am just "angry for nothing."

WHAT BOOK ON ANTHROPOLOGY DID YOU READ ABOUT "nigger culture" IN?
What an insidiously IGNORANT punk-bitchass thing to do.

Again- I apologize to everyone that I should even have to re-explain myself in such a straightforward manner that is just as painful for me to do as it is disturbing for anyone else to read.

I don't expect anyone to agree with me and I love criticism-It makes me better, and I am grateful, even to you FriedDuck, for it.

But don't take me there. I'm way too old [43] and you are way too young [27] to be able to even scratch the surface of anything along the lines of the kind of discussion or debate you have attempted to straighten me out about.

My parents would've back-handed me and warned about minding grown folk's business.

Young lady, I offer you the same advice.

Which means (in case you don't know or haven't figured it out): If you haven't been around long enough to know, you are free to take the word your elders with a grain of salt; but you had better RESPECT it because THEY KNOW BETTER THAN YOU DO.

AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW-ASK. DON'T TRY TO [I]TELL ME SHIT.

[Doggie_Wood]

Sorry I dont speak niggerese ............ since u black man?

Is ur name OJ Simpson? He did all of that!


He not from country of Niger?

And for you obvious lack of cooth, compassion and humanity, please allow me to enlighten you a little;

Depending on how they are counted, Niger has between 8 and 20 indigenous languages. The discrepancy comes from the fact that several are closely related, and can be grouped together or considered apart.

French, inherited from the colonial period, is the official language. It is spoken mainly as a second/additional language by a relatively small percentage of the population.

The usual categorization of languages of Niger mentions eight national languages. These, their language families, the approximate percentage of the population that speak them, and their approximate home regions are as follows:

Language. .Family. .Approx &#37;. .Main region
Hausa. | .Afro-Asiatic / Chadic. ,49.6, .South, central
Zarma & Songhai | Nilo-Saharan 25.5 Southwest
Tamajeq | Afro-Asiatic / Berber 08.4 North
Fulfulde | Niger-Congo / Atlantic 08.3 All
Kanuri | Nilo-Saharan 04.8 Southeast
Colloquial Arabic | Afro-Asiatic / Semitic 01.2 North
Gurmantche | Niger-Congo / Volta-Congo 00.? Southwest corner
Toubou | Nilo-Saharan 00.? East

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Languages_of_Niger

So as you can plainly see, your reference to his spoken language is non exsistant. Yet I actually heard no voices. Did he type in a Nigerian dialect? Or was it in Gana? Or better yet, how in the hell do you presume to know what heratage his ancestry is from to begin with??
All of which makes you an ignorant flame-throwing bigotted piece of bat guana.
(My sincere apologies to any bats that I may have offended)

Simply my :2cents:

:doggie:

[vittoria]

I found this an interesting post, Marie. IMHO, lots of people become fetishistic about other races... even if they don't realize it, or live in denial about it. Personally, I'm not opposed to it at all... whatever floats peoples' boats. It doesn't seem much different to fetishizing anything else. But if you can tell us more about the psychodynamics involved in "Fetishism", then that might be useful.

At a guess, I'd say that some people who select partners based on them being of a different race may have a deep-seeded psychological reason for doing so. A "Complex" you could say. Either that, or they just get off on the fact that their parter is very different to them.

Either way it doesn't really matter that much, as long as everyone is happy and consenting.


"...and consenting."

Its not like peer pressure :rolleyes: And dating someone from a "nature's tanning salon" (LOL) doesnt make it like S& M either... where adults would have to be "consenting" (rolling on floor laughing my ass off clutching sides )


Umm....K...

I fetishize about humans.
Yes, humans. I'm not screwing animals, Ameoba, etc etc.

Being from planet Earth gives one reason to be attracted to other people.

From planet Earth.

Unfortunately because society has deemed liking other humans as TABOO ( be it nationality, melanin content of skin, language, intelligence), society is generally in shock if for some strange reason you happen to like other cultures... from planet Earth. (not cultured FROM planrt Earth... like plankton or yeast)

Now, I dont know about you, but I'm not into screwing dust mites. That would be fetishist ( words are looking good lately... I'll send them into Wester's:tong:). Seeing dudes get off on Kleenex boxes... that's a bit inhuman. Besides, I would imagine they chafe. Those are fetishes.

Liking someone of a different orientation is not akin to---


FEET.

Thats a fetish... mmmm toes.(I dont have a foot fetish... have yet to hear of a "race" one...)


Like i said... I like humans. From head to toe.

Environment, like anything else, plays a role.

Theres some who are raised to believe that just because you have ancestors from the Arctic regions, that you only qualify to be classified as HUMAN.("White" or Caucasian) Or just because your ancestors are from more tropical regions that you would be classified as a complete moron.(i.e. "Black"+ EVERYBODY ELSE) Temperature shouldnt matter. ( I suppose in their eyes, Odin is kicking the asses of Shiva, Buddha, Ersulie, and the Great Spirit...wtf ever people :tong:)

Ummm kay. Though people with those feelings exist, that seems somewhat like a bad Sci Fi film... or like the episode of Star Trek with the aliens who were trying to kill each other off. They were shooting at each other, but they were from the same planet... the one alien was black on the right half and white on the left half... the other was black on the left half and white on the right half. As Spock would say, "Fascinating." Great episode... shows the insignificance of skin color.

And on another note, anyone that blames the fact that they dont like a certain race because " a black person raped me" or "a white man put my family into slavery" I'll say this...all I.M. HUMBLE O.---

1) Caucasian men rape caucasian women --sad but true fact. "Black" men have raped "black" women. You dont hear caucasian women complaining about caucasian men and how they're completely bigotted to them do you? You dont hear "black" women say they'll never see a "black" man ever again do you? Havent heard it yet. They usually talk about how they're going to kill the son of a bitch, and other colorful metaphors. Any one that uses the race of the individual who does wrong as an excuse for disliking others of that particular race has got major problems with separating reality from a coloring book.

2) And if you think about it... we are enslaved to our jobs everyday by (hold on to your butts) rich Caucasian men(and Oprah). Woo flippin hoo. I dont care. Hell, a Caucasian man signed his name to my paycheck, and a "Light-skinned" "Black" man is my General Manager :tong: A dOOd from India (yes, a real Indian, not a misnomer) is the District Manager. It could be a person from Antares 6 and I wouldnt give a fuck. PAY my ASS!!

The fact of the matter is that if it wasnt for people and their insistence on judging other HUMANS based on something so insignificant as cellular tissue {you're dating someone with green eyes and your eyes are blue???SACRILEDGE!!!! (sp) }, there wouldnt be an issue !!


Personally, I have relatives from many cultures... it makes me unique, just like anyone else is. It makes me appreciate the people of the planet we just so happen to live on. If it wasnt for them, I wouldnt be here--on planet Earth, and on this site.

In other words, just as having differing opinions about the government doesnt make one hate America, liking different races doesnt make one a social retard or a psychological study of infinite proportions......

It makes us VULCAN.:eek: :eek2: :yikes2:

:bigrin:

:smilies15:

"Live long and prosper" "Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations"


V

[Analog Kid]

A couple of short excerpts (s.p.?) from
http://www.ornl.gov/sci/techresources/Human_Genome/elsi/humanmigration.shtml


Genetic anthropology is an emerging discipline that combines DNA and physical evidence to reveal the history of ancient human migration. It seeks to answer the questions, "Where did we come from, and how did we get here?"

DNA studies indicate that all modern humans share a common female ancestor who lived in Africa about 140,000 years ago, and all men share a common male ancestor who lived in Africa about 60,000 years ago. These were not the only humans who lived in these eras, and the human genome still contains many genetic traits of their contemporaries. Humanity's most recent common ancestors are identifiable because their lineages have survived by chance in the special pieces of DNA that are passed down the gender lines nearly unaltered from one generation to the next. These ancestors are part of a growing body of fossil and DNA evidence indicating that modern humans arose in sub-Saharan Africa and began migrating, starting about 65,000 years ago, to populate first southern Asia, China, Java, and later Europe. Each of us living today has DNA that contains the story of our ancient ancestors' journeys.



DNA studies do not indicate that separate classifiable subspecies (races) exist within modern humans. While different genes for physical traits such as skin and hair color can be identified between individuals, no consistent patterns of genes across the human genome exist to distinguish one race from another. There also is no genetic basis for divisions of human ethnicity. People who have lived in the same geographic region for many generations may have some alleles in common, but no allele will be found in all members of one population and in no members of any other. Indeed, it has been proven that there is more genetic variation within races than exists between them.

[Analog Kid]

For proseros

;)
http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/9302/nq070310ky0.gif

[FriedDuck]

I don't get anything you are talking about-And quite frankly, given the vulgar reactionary tone of your response, I would not likely be at fault if in turn I responded to YOU with equal asininity.

You seem to speak "niggerese" very well for someone who doesn't, for all that it may me a language communicated with sentiment and attitude rather than the speech reflcting-and identifying-its use. Your comments contain so much "ass-u-me" that I could hardly care, save for the sake of pointing out to everyone here what sort of sociopathic wiley you display.

Apparently your ASSUMPTION about what and how I feel or think about anything has not included the obviously personal-AND THEREFORE COMPLETELY UNKNOWN TO YOU-reality of experiences, knowledge, education thoughts and feelings surrounding MY existence as an African American MAN and how it has/may have influenced how I relate to the rest of the world on a daily basis historically, socially, culturally, economically, educationally and yadda-yadda-yadda. Wutever. But since you missed that point-and EVERYONE ELSE PLEASE EXCUSE MY OVERT EMPHASIS-then HERE it is right in your fucking face.

Because it allows people like YOU to regurgitate these exact kind of dismissive arguments and inject inflammatory perspectives (WHAT THE FUCK HAS OJ SIMPSON GOT TO DO WITH ANYTHING!) that make people like ME "appear" to be nothing more than an "angry black man blaming everyone else" for thier REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE with something, while they casually turn a blind eye to the ignorances that allow them to project thier own form of civility and rationale-one that excludes, and otherwise prevents them from understanding why anyone might get angry to begin with.

In which case you are in need of some education. Instead of reacting, shut the fuck up and listen to what's being said form someone who might know something more than you think you know-

Yeah, as a matter of fact I MIGHT know a little something about racism better than a lot of folks ESPECIALLY YOU-when it comes to Black People sure! Why shouldn't I? But otherwise-NO I DON'T UNDERSTAND RACISM OR DISCRIMINATION OF ANY KIND! I NEVER DID AND I NEVER WILL! AND IF YOU DO, AND IF YOU'RE SO MUCH MORE WISER THAN I AM TO TELL ME THE DIFFERENCE, THEN EXPLAIN THAT SHIT TO ME, OKAY?

QUALIFY YOURSELF INSTEAD OF JUST TALKING SHIT.

And I do not say, nor have I ever said that that kind of anger is or should be different from anyone else's anger-It doesn't make any damned difference who we are talking about or what race they are[and in fact it doesn't have to have anything to do with "race" at all, what has has excellently been pointed out by some here with cross referencing sociological, or cultural "fetish" which IMHO is far far worse than racism (which at least includes a real human being as opposed to a mere object or fascination)-Can you say STEREOTYPE?]-which is exactly why for the purposes of this subject I identified myself as African American.

And look at how YOU react to that in spite of every other post here.

But YOU had to go and use a word here that you KNOW has a lot of issues behind it (some sites do not allow you to type that word at all)-As if to say, "here hold that!" and then wait for my response to it so you can prove that I am just "angry for nothing."

WHAT BOOK ON ANTHROPOLOGY DID YOU READ ABOUT "nigger culture" IN?
What an insidiously IGNORANT punk-bitchass thing to do.

Again- I apologize to everyone that I should even have to re-explain myself in such a straightforward manner that is just as painful for me to do as it is disturbing for anyone else to read.

I don't expect anyone to agree with me and I love criticism-It makes me better, and I am grateful, even to you FriedDuck, for it.

But don't take me there. I'm way too old [43] and you are way too young [27] to be able to even scratch the surface of anything along the lines of the kind of discussion or debate you have attempted to straighten me out about.

My parents would've back-handed me and warned about minding grown folk's business.

Young lady, I offer you the same advice.

Which means (in case you don't know or haven't figured it out): If you haven't been around long enough to know, you are free to take the word your elders with a grain of salt; but you had better RESPECT it because THEY KNOW BETTER THAN YOU DO.

AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW-ASK. DON'T TRY TO [I]TELL ME SHIT.

blah blah blah just an angry male nigger who think he better than every1 else. :rolleyes:

[BIMUSCLEBOY2007]

Those are my reasons, what are yours?

*Taylor*

I totally understand where you're coming from and can relate to your EXACT experience in school. However, when I went to Catholic high school and met other well-spoken, -mannered, etc., African-American men (NONE of whom I was attracted to 'cause they were str8...basically), I realized that it wasn't other African-Americans who bothered me so much. It was GHETTO people who annoy the heck outta me. For example, I like Caucasians, but, I can't stand rednecks.
For me, it wasn't so much an ethnic issue as a cultural one, which is why I can relate to why you like Caucasian men(though, I'm not into Americans, Brits or Canadians) when it comes to how some of them carry themselves, comfort with their sexuality, how they let themselves become vulnerable at times, instead of ALWAYS trying to look & act "hard" as many A-A men do. At least that's been my experience.

Those are my reasons.
Well, that and a whole 'clear, soft skin' thing that's very important to me, and, sadly, most A-A men take care of their skin, which is a shame, because, when they do, it's like cream!!!
Like a big stick of butter!!!!!

[FriedDuck]

I totally understand where you're coming from and can relate to your EXACT experience in school. However, when I went to Catholic high school and met other well-spoken, -mannered, etc., African-American men (NONE of whom I was attracted to 'cause they were str8...basically), I realized that it wasn't other African-Americans who bothered me so much. It was GHETTO people who annoy the heck outta me. For example, I like Caucasians, but, I can't stand rednecks.
For me, it wasn't so much an ethnic issue as a cultural one, which is why I can relate to why you like Caucasian men(though, I'm not into Americans, Brits or Canadians) when it comes to how some of them carry themselves and their comfort with their sexuality, how they let themselves become vulnerable at times, instead of ALWAYS trying to look & act "hard" as many A-A men do.

Those are my reasons.
Well, that and a whole 'clear, soft skin' thing that's very important to me, and, sadly, most A-A men take care of their skin.
However, when they do, it's like cream!!!
Like a big stick o' butta!!!!!

so u hate thugs an niggers just like proseros does?

[TaylorMade]

I totally understand where you're coming from and can relate to your EXACT experience in school. However, when I went to Catholic high school and met other well-spoken, -mannered, etc., African-American men (NONE of whom I was attracted to 'cause they were str8...basically), I realized that it wasn't other African-Americans who bothered me so much. It was GHETTO people who annoy the heck outta me. For example, I like Caucasians, but, I can't stand rednecks.
For me, it wasn't so much an ethnic issue as a cultural one, which is why I can relate to why you like Caucasian men(though, I'm not into Americans, Brits or Canadians) when it comes to how some of them carry themselves, comfort with their sexuality, how they let themselves become vulnerable at times, instead of ALWAYS trying to look & act "hard" as many A-A men do. At least that's been my experience.

Those are my reasons.
Well, that and a whole 'clear, soft skin' thing that's very important to me, and, sadly, most A-A men take care of their skin, which is a shame, because, when they do, it's like cream!!!
Like a big stick of butter!!!!!


I will agree that it is cultural to a degree, but then aesthetics takes over. Of course every man and woman is different. I like well-spoken black men, but unfortunately, I'm not sexually attracted to black men. I wish I were...because it would make things easier... or at least I think it would. . .lol.

Thing is, I can accept someone who..erm, could be called redneck- - I mean, he lived in a rural area, listened to country music, despite being a native of the area- AND speaking fluent, perfect Spanish - he sounded more Mobile than Miami, liked NASCAR, and owned more than one cowboy hat. What was important was that he respected me and was a good kisser and we could talk football. Sometimes scootching just a LITTLE outside the box is okay.

On the other hand- - I do know one white guy that was ghetto as hell. . .I had to push him away, I couldn't deal with it. I just felt like he was trying too hard...or something.

*Taylor*

[BIMUSCLEBOY2007]

I see where you're coming from, though, I'm not sure that dating someone of the same ethnicity would necessarily make your life easier. Perhaps 'easier' in the sense that other people would leave you alone about it, but, who knows?
I meant ghetto, regardless of color.
Also, I may have just miscommunicated, but, when I wrote 'redneck', I always mean the racist ones.
Upon further reflection, I guess I'm bothered by any group of people (culturally speaking) who behave and treat themselves & others with a toal lack of self-respect.
I guess that that's how I view the negative aspects of each culture, regardless of the ethnicity.
I feel the same way about gay culture, too.
I guess I'm just bothered by people who are the living embodiment of every negative stereotype concerning their culture, from the elitist high-brow pseudointellectuals to, well,.....
I'm sure that there's a much better way for me to state my case, but, it's late.
Whaddyagonnado?

[TaylorMade]

I see where you're coming from, though, I'm not sure that dating someone of the same ethnicity would necessarily make your life easier. Perhaps 'easier' in the sense that other people would leave you alone about it, but, who knows?
I meant ghetto, regardless of color.
Also, I may have just miscommunicated, but, when I wrote 'redneck', I always mean the racist ones.
Upon further reflection, I guess I'm bothered by any group of people (culturally speaking) who behave and treat themselves & others with a toal lack of self-respect.
I guess that that's how I view the negative aspects of each culture, regardless of the ethnicity.
I feel the same way about gay culture, too.
I guess I'm just bothered by people who are the living embodiment of every negative stereotype concerning their culture, from the elitist high-brow pseudointellectuals to, well,.....
I'm sure that there's a much better way for me to state my case, but, it's late.
Whaddyagonnado?

That's about it. . . There are many times where I wish I could have settled with this one or that one because he (or in one case SHE) was generally liked by all and people always pointed out "how cute we were together". . .leading to enormous pressure, as opposed to someone "not quite right" . . .that way, if you don't stay together... well, not anyone's fault... right? Or something.

Gah... Morpheus has come to claim his bounty. I have GOT to hit the rack.

*Taylor*

[FriedDuck]

I don't get anything you are talking about-And quite frankly, given the vulgar reactionary tone of your response, I would not likely be at fault if in turn I responded to YOU with equal asininity.

You seem to speak "niggerese" very well for someone who doesn't, for all that it may me a language communicated with sentiment and attitude rather than the speech reflcting-and identifying-its use. Your comments contain so much "ass-u-me" that I could hardly care, save for the sake of pointing out to everyone here what sort of sociopathic wiley you display.

Apparently your ASSUMPTION about what and how I feel or think about anything has not included the obviously personal-AND THEREFORE COMPLETELY UNKNOWN TO YOU-reality of experiences, knowledge, education thoughts and feelings surrounding MY existence as an African American MAN and how it has/may have influenced how I relate to the rest of the world on a daily basis historically, socially, culturally, economically, educationally and yadda-yadda-yadda. Wutever. But since you missed that point-and EVERYONE ELSE PLEASE EXCUSE MY OVERT EMPHASIS-then HERE it is right in your fucking face.

Because it allows people like YOU to regurgitate these exact kind of dismissive arguments and inject inflammatory perspectives (WHAT THE FUCK HAS OJ SIMPSON GOT TO DO WITH ANYTHING!) that make people like ME "appear" to be nothing more than an "angry black man blaming everyone else" for thier REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE with something, while they casually turn a blind eye to the ignorances that allow them to project thier own form of civility and rationale-one that excludes, and otherwise prevents them from understanding why anyone might get angry to begin with.

In which case you are in need of some education. Instead of reacting, shut the fuck up and listen to what's being said form someone who might know something more than you think you know-

Yeah, as a matter of fact I MIGHT know a little something about racism better than a lot of folks ESPECIALLY YOU-when it comes to Black People sure! Why shouldn't I? But otherwise-NO I DON'T UNDERSTAND RACISM OR DISCRIMINATION OF ANY KIND! I NEVER DID AND I NEVER WILL! AND IF YOU DO, AND IF YOU'RE SO MUCH MORE WISER THAN I AM TO TELL ME THE DIFFERENCE, THEN EXPLAIN THAT SHIT TO ME, OKAY?

QUALIFY YOURSELF INSTEAD OF JUST TALKING SHIT.

And I do not say, nor have I ever said that that kind of anger is or should be different from anyone else's anger-It doesn't make any damned difference who we are talking about or what race they are[and in fact it doesn't have to have anything to do with "race" at all, what has has excellently been pointed out by some here with cross referencing sociological, or cultural "fetish" which IMHO is far far worse than racism (which at least includes a real human being as opposed to a mere object or fascination)-Can you say STEREOTYPE?]-which is exactly why for the purposes of this subject I identified myself as African American.

And look at how YOU react to that in spite of every other post here.

But YOU had to go and use a word here that you KNOW has a lot of issues behind it (some sites do not allow you to type that word at all)-As if to say, "here hold that!" and then wait for my response to it so you can prove that I am just "angry for nothing."

WHAT BOOK ON ANTHROPOLOGY DID YOU READ ABOUT "nigger culture" IN?
What an insidiously IGNORANT punk-bitchass thing to do.

Again- I apologize to everyone that I should even have to re-explain myself in such a straightforward manner that is just as painful for me to do as it is disturbing for anyone else to read.

I don't expect anyone to agree with me and I love criticism-It makes me better, and I am grateful, even to you FriedDuck, for it.

But don't take me there. I'm way too old [43] and you are way too young [27] to be able to even scratch the surface of anything along the lines of the kind of discussion or debate you have attempted to straighten me out about.

My parents would've back-handed me and warned about minding grown folk's business.

Young lady, I offer you the same advice.

Which means (in case you don't know or haven't figured it out): If you haven't been around long enough to know, you are free to take the word your elders with a grain of salt; but you had better RESPECT it because THEY KNOW BETTER THAN YOU DO.

AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW-ASK. DON'T TRY TO [I]TELL ME SHIT.

I am allowed 2 say nigger since I am black!

Baby was a black sheep. Baby was a whore.
Baby got big and baby get bigger.
Baby get something. Baby get more.
Baby, baby, baby was a rock-and-roll nigger.
Oh, look around you, all around you,
riding on a copper wave.
Do you like the world around you?
Are you ready to behave?

Outside of society, they're waitin' for me.
Outside of society, that's where I want to be.

Baby was a black sheep. Baby was a whore.
You know she got big. Well, she's gonna get bigger.
Baby got a hand; got a finger on the trigger.
Baby, baby, baby is a rock-and-roll nigger.

Outside of society, that's where I want to be.
Outside of society, they're waitin' for me.

I was lost in a valley of pleasure.
I was lost in the infinite sea.
I was lost, and measure for measure,
love spewed from the heart of me.
I was lost, and the cost,
and the cost didn't matter to me.
I was lost, and the cost
was to be outside society.

Jimi Hendrix was a nigger.
Jesus Christ and Grandma, too.
Jackson Pollock was a nigger.
Nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger,
nigger, nigger, nigger.

Outside of society, they're waitin' for me.
Outside of society, if you're looking,
that's where you'll find me.
Outside of society, they're waitin' for me.
Outside of society.

[Doggie_Wood]

I am allowed 2 say (deleeted) since I am black!

Baby ........................................
............that's where you'll find me.
Outside ....................................

DING DONG - The Troll Is Dead - The Wicked Troll is Dead -

No more responces are required for this Fupped Duck.

:doggie:

[BreeIsMe]

I have no biases against any race and have in fact had lovers from many, black, hispanic, Mexican Indian, Asian (several countries), and even whites... I must admit that I have not been with someone from the middle east but that is not from a bias (just never met the right one) For a variety of reasons, I find caucasians least "mysterious" However, I think the personalities of all races are strikingly similar, and entirely HUMAN...

Bree

[darkeyes]

If they r gorge anya fancies em..wtf dus it matta ther race or cola?? Even if they aint delish anya jus fancies em. Wy get uptite cos peeps fancy summat or sum 1 we don???... we all fancy diff things..so wy get freaked wen sum 1 fancies sum 1 or summat we don, or don fancy sum1 or summat we think is amazin, ..its called personal taste... an we all hav our own... an thats how it shud b!!!!!

[vittoria]

If they r gorge anya fancies em..wtf dus it matta ther race or cola?? Even if they aint delish anya jus fancies em. Wy get uptite cos peeps fancy summat or sum 1 we don???... we all fancy diff things..so wy get freaked wen sum 1 fancies sum 1 or summat we don, or don fancy sum1 or summat we think is amazin, ..its called personal taste... an we all hav our own... an thats how it shud b!!!!!

FRANSPEAKS (:tong:)


:)

[darkeyes]

Has been known V...usually as sum wud say..interminably..tee hee:tong:

Snogs V 2 distraction..lix er all ova..an giggles er head off!!!!!:bigrin: