New usah...social difficulties

[unhetero]

I'm sure most of you face the occasional social problem...probably more so when growing up, as well.

I am attracted to both men and women but mostly men. Problem is, most of my close friends are women and I find it difficult to connect with men on a non-sexual level (although I do hang out with a small group of guys from time to time). I guess this is a common problem with straight guys towards women as well, but with me its sort of the opposite. I find men more flighty and less interested in meaningful relationships, or the kind of things I typically like to do. Then again, perhaps I've just been hanging out with the wrong crowd.

Any advice? I tried dating women for a little while but starting veering back due to sexual attraction. Anyone have a similar problem?

[DiamondDog]

Get out there and meet people and get to know them, and make new friends who are men.

Just because you're friends with someone it doesn't mean that you have to have sex with them or that you're expected to.

Join social/discussion clubs for bi/gay men, or groups for men only.

I myself and other friends have done this and it works well.

Also find men who are interested in dating/relationships and not just sex.

You're in NYC so there are lots social/discussion groups for gay/bi men, as well as bars/clubs, and even cafes too if you're not into bars/clubs.

[shameless agitator]

I'd agree with DD. Also, fill out your bloody profile. You might wind up meeting people from here.

[unhetero]

I'd agree with DD. Also, fill out your bloody profile. You might wind up meeting people from here.

Ha! Working on that, sorry...don't get much free time b4 the weekends...

Thanks for the support guys

[FalconAngel]

Get used to it.
There are a lot of folks here who are helpful and have enough life experience, with just about anything, to help you with problems.

Chances are that someone here knows exactly what you are going through.

And like Shameless said, a filled out profile can help you to find like-thinking folks both on this site and in your area to talk to or even socialize with.

So welcome to the community.

[canuckotter]

How old are you? ... which sounds really mean. :eek: What I mean is, when I was in my early and mid twenties, I found it hard to get along with men on a social level. There were exceptions, but most guys... just bored the crap out of me. Women were a lot more interesting as people. As I've gotten older (now early 30s) I've been finding that, first, people really mature after the age of 25 or so and become a LOT more interesting... And second, guys tend to interact in different ways that I didn't understand until I got older and got over some of my own hangups. The end result is that gender has no real impact any more on how likely I am to enjoy someone's company.

[Bloodflower]

I am attracted to both men and women but mostly men. Problem is, most of my close friends are women and I find it difficult to connect with men on a non-sexual level (although I do hang out with a small group of guys from time to time). I find men more flighty and less interested in meaningful relationships, or the kind of things I typically like to do.

Any advice? I tried dating women for a little while but starting veering back due to sexual attraction. Anyone have a similar problem?

Hi unhetero...while I don't have any advice regarding your issue, I can tell you that I find it hard to connect w/ other women, while I've always been able to relate with men on almost every level (I'm female). It's interesting to realize that I'm not the only one in the world who finds it difficult to connect w/ members of her own gender! What a relief!

[arcakes]

Hi unhetero...while I don't have any advice regarding your issue, I can tell you that I find it hard to connect w/ other women, while I've always been able to relate with men on almost every level (I'm female). It's interesting to realize that I'm not the only one in the world who finds it difficult to connect w/ members of her own gender! What a relief!

I find it difficult to connect with people in general, so I've got you all beat! ha!

Just kidding. This is a perennial problem for most folks. I think age does help, and you sound young -- no offense. But you also have to put yourself out there and make the effort to connect with humans, if it is a true desire. You might be surprised at how many decent ones there are out there, they just have very good hiding places.

[sometimesitbethatway]

I have that similar problem sort of. I have a lot of guy friends though, I am just picky about guy friends as far as their character traits. Women just tend to have better characters in my opinion.

[DiamondDog]

How old are you? ... which sounds really mean. :eek: What I mean is, when I was in my early and mid twenties, I found it hard to get along with men on a social level. There were exceptions, but most guys... just bored the crap out of me. Women were a lot more interesting as people. As I've gotten older (now early 30s) I've been finding that, first, people really mature after the age of 25 or so and become a LOT more interesting... And second, guys tend to interact in different ways that I didn't understand until I got older and got over some of my own hangups. The end result is that gender has no real impact any more on how likely I am to enjoy someone's company.

Just curious, what were some of the issues/hangups that you had with men and interacting/communication?