a bit of help plz

[naughty'BI'chick]

How can u tell ur family that ur bisexual w/o all the drama & "your juz sexually confused" shit? or is there no way out of it?
Bcuz I have quite a family, I guess most of them will accept me juz not all of them.
What I am trying to say is:
How can I tell my family nicely that I'm bi & make it so they understand that I'm not at all "sexually confused"?

[aheatseeker]

why do you have to tell them your bi at all? i tried bi with a bi couple and liked it about 9 yrs ago and meet only with compatible bi couples for fun and friendship. im not into single men and i love females and also been with many straight couples as i have been a swinger for about 15 yrs as well. i havent told my fam and will not tell my fam. none of them would understand and no reason to rock the boat. i never understood the reason to stand up and tell the world. my priovate life is my business and no reason to tell anybody unless im going to meet them for that type of fun or friendship. i wouldnt tell them and that way you wont have to worry about anything.

[naughty'BI'chick]

its not that I have to tell them. its juz I rather be honest w/ my family & have them know, then hiding it & be dishonest.
I like being honest w/ my family

[rose_angel]

Just tell them the truth, hun.
But make sure you have someone with you that supports you just in case.

Please talk to me,
Love Maria

[bisexualinsocal]

its not that I have to tell them. its juz I rather be honest w/ my family & have them know, then hiding it & be dishonest.
I like being honest w/ my family

If they ask, then answer. But it sounds more like you're eager to offer unnecessary information. In my experience, people who do this do it more for the attention it generates for them than a real "need" to be accepted.

First thing you should do is be honest with yourself and find out what motivates you to feel the need to volunteer the info.

[sometimesitbethatway]

I think you should just be honest but don't make it out to be a HUGE deal. Keep it a part of you like anything else would be in your life. I wouldn't arrange a special dinner or anything like that.

but like rose_angel said, I'd keep someone there for support.

The most important thing is that you are comfortable with yourself before you decide to talk to them about it. If you know who you are, you can explain yourself well and give cool and precise answers instead of possibly stumbling over words or acting confused (which would only make it appear that much more like you are confused)

Good luck with whatever you decide to do

[shameless agitator]

Depends on the family members. With most of my family, I made an announcement. With my step dad I was kind of reluctant, because he's a bit of a homophobe. I wound up coming out to him accidentally by mentioning this site a couple of times. In a way, I think that worked out better because now he knows, but can pretend not to if he so chooses.

[12voltman59]

I'd say to go to your local GBLT organization and see what sorts of books and other informational materials they can provide on the subject--show them that bisexuality is real and that you are not simply "confused"----hopefully your family is relatively open minded----if they are--they are your family and they will still love you and come to accept you and your bisexuality.

Good luck

[alaskacouple]

I guess we vote for the "it's none of their business" option. We never really wanted to know about our relatives personal sexual issues and we don't really want to know about our grown children's sexual lives. Guess we never understood the need to have to let everything hang out. If they one day "discover" such info, that will be time enough to talk if need be.

[sometimesitbethatway]

I guess we vote for the "it's none of their business" option. We never really wanted to know about our relatives personal sexual issues and we don't really want to know about our grown children's sexual lives. Guess we never understood the need to have to let everything hang out. If they one day "discover" such info, that will be time enough to talk if need be.

that's a good point, too.

[Bluebiyou]

Absolutely!
It is my right to know what my mom is doing with her pussy at all times.
In addition, my daddy's dick is totally my business.
Not to mention all aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, nephews, nieces, etc.
Okay, I went an extreme sarcastic length to prove the point you're under no obligation (in this nature) to your family and vice versa.
LOL
Once they find you spend as much time with the girlz as you do with the guys, it is there for them to ask if they are curious and care.

Warning, do not attempt any honest communication at all if your father is a Baptist minister or if your parents rate there social ranking at church near the top of their priorities (extreme conformists/shallow 'display people').

If your parents are loving and truly care, they'll probably say "We've always suspected" with a smile and a kiss!

[lonelygirlintx]

In my opinion, there is no way to do that, I haven't let my family know, except a close cousin of mine, because I know at least 2 of them would not accept it. My grandmother is a very religious person and I know she would probably tell me that I am going to hell, not in a mean way, but a matter-of-fact way, so I hardly think I will ever tell them. But anyway, my advice for you is to have a good defense just in case they do have some unwelcome things to say to you. I can tell that because you asked for advice that this is something you really want to do, so I can't tell you to not tell them and just keep it your business. So, I just think you should think it through, play it out in your head, come up with some defense strategy that you can use if they kind of attack you. Well, I wish you luck and hope that they all accept you.

[Bluebiyou]

naughty'BI'chick
Direct question:
Please go to the 'fun' section of this web site and view "Choices" comic episodes 56 - present.
Where do you see your parents and family?

[Doggie_Wood]

why do you have to tell them your bi at all? ............ i havent told my fam and will not tell my fam. none of them would understand and no reason to rock the boat......i never understood the reason to stand up and tell the world...... my private life is my business and no reason to tell anybody unless im going to meet them for that type of fun or friendship.


its not that I have to tell them. its juz I rather be honest w/ my family & have them know, then hiding it & be dishonest.
I like being honest w/ my family


I guess we vote for the "it's none of their business" option. We never really wanted to know about our relatives personal sexual issues and we don't really want to know about our grown children's sexual lives. Guess we never understood the need to have to let everything hang out. If they one day "discover" such info, that will be time enough to talk if need be.


naughty - it's not so much an issue of being "honest or dishonest" - the real question is, why do they need to know? Why is it so important to tell them that you "do the nasty" ;) with girls as well as boys?
For me, already past the period where my elders would ask "When are going to have kids?" - who I have relations with, sexually or otherwise, is of no ones concern but mine and those involved with me.
One day maybe, your parents might ask you, out of curiousity. Be honest, forthrite and loving when you answer.
Big puppy-dog eyes never hurt either-lol. :rolleyes: Unless they're cat people. LOL

What ever you decide - it will be your decision and probably the right one.
Hugs and kisses
:doggie:

[naughty'BI'chick]

naughty - it's not so much an issue of being "honest or dishonest" - the real question is, why do they need to know? Why is it so important to tell them that you "do the nasty" ;) with girls as well as boys?
For me, already past the period where my elders would ask "When are going to have kids?" - who I have relations with, sexually or otherwise, is of no ones concern but mine and those involved with me.
One day maybe, your parents might ask you, out of curiousity. Be honest, forthrite and loving when you answer.
Big puppy-dog eyes never hurt either-lol. :rolleyes: Unless they're cat people. LOL

What ever you decide - it will be your decision and probably the right one.
Hugs and kisses
:doggie:

I never really thought about it that way. its juz I do no a few of my family members are wondering about my sexuality, since I'm really open, I guess wat I should really be trying to figure out is how to tell them when the time when their curious.
But yes Doggy, u are right!
thank you hun.
hugs & kisses to you

[alaskacouple]

In my opinion, there is no way to do that, I haven't let my family know, except a close cousin of mine, because I know at least 2 of them would not accept it. My grandmother is a very religious person and I know she would probably tell me that I am going to hell, not in a mean way, but a matter-of-fact way, so I hardly think I will ever tell them. But anyway, my advice for you is to have a good defense just in case they do have some unwelcome things to say to you. I can tell that because you asked for advice that this is something you really want to do, so I can't tell you to not tell them and just keep it your business. So, I just think you should think it through, play it out in your head, come up with some defense strategy that you can use if they kind of attack you. Well, I wish you luck and hope that they all accept you.

This is a great point and a very valid reason for not telling someone a thing that they don't really need to know. Why bring pain to someone you love. If the ones you love are uneducated in human sexuality it is highly unlikely that they will accept and education from you (the little babe whose diapers they changed). It's just the way we are, hard to accept that your children have anything to teach us. Instead concentrate on being a living witness of love and happiness in your life - as you get older your parents and family will learn that they must either accept you for who you are - or not.

[rock-g'sguy]

How can u tell ur family that ur bisexual What I am trying to say is:
How can I tell my family nicely that I'm bi & make it so they understand that I'm not at all "sexually confused"?

That is a hard one, 1/2 my family knows and 1/2 of them understand. I ones that don't know are the ones I could not bring myself to confess to them. The are 100% str8t and I would not know how to tell them. The ones I have told and understand, are the ones closest to me, like my Mom and my little sister, and few others. Now the ones who can't understand are my brothers and some of my related family. Some of them I don't speak with anymore because of it. They think I am wacked.... So F**k them. You have to be honest with them and yourself. If they truly love you they will try to understand. For me I just sat them down and told them expecting the worst. Got it from some but the ones whom really love me understand. They might have questions about it, try to tell them so they know you are not comfused about your sexuality, if you show any worriness in the way you tell them, they are going to think you don't know what you want. I hope this will help, I know it is a hard thing to talk to some about

Take Pride :flag2: in who you are

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Why should you have to tell Anyone about your sexual preferences, Sweetie? That should be up to you and your honey. I feel the "Family" shouldnt be privy to your sexual bizness.. :}
Cat

[naughty'BI'chick]

That's not fair. Censoring yourself around your family sucks. Acceptance by society is quite different from acceptance by your blood.

exactly. its not fair to censor part of who I am.
Azrael, u are quite right & see part of the reason why I wanna tell them.

[MarieDelta]

Coming out to the family is quite hard. I've only come out to my parents as transexual, just within the last year.

But IMO, if you feel you need to do it, then you should. there is probably a reason you feel pushed to tell them. There are several great books out there about coming out as lesbian or gay and those should help some. Also check out PFLAG for some good coming out resources, as well as support for your family after you tell them. HRC also has some good resources.


Please be aware that coming out is for you, not them. This way you dont have to feel guilty, or hide your affections around them.

If at some point you decide that you want to bring a same sex partner home to meet the folks, then it would be a good idea to do that(come out) in advance.