The Quest For Breakfast

[grneyedbeauty]

This journey is not for the weak. I must tell you that a person with less strength would not have persevered. So here it goes....


When I finally rolled myself out of bed my hunger was at its worst. My stomach was grumbling and I could taste the bile in the back of my throat. I headed off to the kitchen to see what I could muster up.
As I opened the fridge to satisfy my hunger my eyes came upon an egg carton. My mouth began to water as I thought to myself..."I don't remember having eggs. This will go really good with the left over steak right here." I was really excited as I grabbed the carton and walked toward the stove.
I prepared to cook and realized there were no clean dishes. I had to wash a pan, spatula and a plate to eat on! Thoroughly prepared, I began the task at hand...frying an egg.
With the pan hot and ready, I opened the carton to crack my first egg......SURPRISE!!!! They are hard boiled, left over from Easter, two and a half weeks ago!! My heart sank with disappointment. I really wanted a steak and egg sandwich!
Getting my disappointment in check, I decided on an egg salad sandwich. I washed a bowl to make it in, cracked the eggs in the bowl and went to the fridge to get some mayo. I bet you guessed what is next....no mayo!! This was turning out to be a pretty bad morning!
With my second disappointment in fifteen minuets, I was stuck in a dilemma. I was still starving, my sugar levels dropping every moment. What do I do?
I had an idea...I have four dollars to my name, I am going to go get myself some breakfast! It wasn't a good idea, but an idea still the same.
So off I was to see the King, four dollars in hand and a raging hunger in my belly.
I pulled up to the box and gave my order...sausage croissant with hash browns and orange juice.
I was ready to enjoy the well desired breakfast when to my amazement the box replied, "We stopped serving breakfast at 10:30"
Another disappointment! I don't know if I can handle anymore today! At this point I would have eaten anything, but settled on a 99 cent burger and fries.
If this is where you think the story ends, you are sadly mistaken. I went home with my burger and fries (minus a few I ate) securely tucked away in their heat retaining apparatus.
I arrived home and realizing it was necessary for me to use the facilities, I set my meal on the table, and proceeded to take care of nature.
As I exited the bathroom to what do my wondering eyes do appear? My lovely dog beginning to feast on my sustenance.
I wrestled the bag away from the canine intruder and finally was able to enjoy the long sought after nourishment.
Oh ya, one more thing, I choked on it too!

[Mrs.F]

:eek: All that just for some breakfast! I wonder if you had gone back to bed and woke up again that it might have been better the 2nd time around. LOL.
Be careful! :rolleyes:

[grneyedbeauty]

Maybe I should have cause now i have heartburn!!

[Bluebiyou]

Oh, and now it's lunchtime!
Weeee!

[grneyedbeauty]

NO, breakfast is over at 10:30, I already had lunch!

[Doggie_Wood]

sounded quite similar to what I once went through only the dog was a rat.

:doggie:

[HighEnergy]

My beloved golden doodle would never do such a thing. The cat however, does this type of thing on a regular basis. She doesn't try it when we are all sitting at the dining room table, but when the kids aren't home, I sit on the couch in front of the computer to eat. I frequently sit my plate down and go get a drink or something and she'll eat off my plate when I'm gone. Weird things the silly cat likes are: all the pepperoni off of your french bread pizza, the milk out of the ceral bowl and if it's shredded wheat, she'll steal a whole biscuit and make off with it. Last night she licked the bowl that had very spicy pork bbq in it so she loves spicy. I once had shrimp cocktail cooling in ice water and she ate a few of those. She'll drink your tea but doesn't care for beer. I've given her a slab of salmon on a plate and the little bitch wouldn't touch it since it was on her plate and not mine. I had some incredible crab corn chowder once and I had to keep wacking her on the head with my spoon as she was trying to eat it while I was still eating it! The dog sits there looking at this behaviour wondering why the cat gets away with it since she can't, but the dog I raised from a puppy, the cat I took in after cat sitting her for a while and she decided she likes me more than her father. :rolleyes:

[TaylorMade]

Okay... Best non-sex post/story ever.

It's a comedy waiting to happen. :p

*Taylor*

[Long Duck Dong]

breakfast may be one of the most important meals of the day... but it can be one of the most stressful too lol

[grneyedbeauty]

Okay... Best non-sex post/story ever.

It's a comedy waiting to happen. :p

*Taylor*

Thank you! That means alot from someone so well spoken.

[DiamondDog]

sounded quite similar to what I once went through only the dog was a rat.

:doggie:

Was it a pet rat? I had one of those as a kid and I want to get some more as an adult.

[**Peg**]

My beloved golden doodle would never do such a thing. The cat however, does this type of thing on a regular basis. She doesn't try it when we are all sitting at the dining room table, but when the kids aren't home, I sit on the couch in front of the computer to eat. I frequently sit my plate down and go get a drink or something and she'll eat off my plate when I'm gone. Weird things the silly cat likes are: all the pepperoni off of your french bread pizza, the milk out of the ceral bowl and if it's shredded wheat, she'll steal a whole biscuit and make off with it. Last night she licked the bowl that had very spicy pork bbq in it so she loves spicy. I once had shrimp cocktail cooling in ice water and she ate a few of those. She'll drink your tea but doesn't care for beer. I've given her a slab of salmon on a plate and the little bitch wouldn't touch it since it was on her plate and not mine. I had some incredible crab corn chowder once and I had to keep wacking her on the head with my spoon as she was trying to eat it while I was still eating it! The dog sits there looking at this behaviour wondering why the cat gets away with it since she can't, but the dog I raised from a puppy, the cat I took in after cat sitting her for a while and she decided she likes me more than her father. :rolleyes:

ROTFLMAO, never a dull moment huh HE? thanks for the smiles

[grneyedbeauty]

Was it a pet rat? I had one of those as a kid and I want to get some more as an adult.

I had rats too! I love them. They are so smart

[BiphobiaFighter]

I've never had a food-related adventure like that but I've had things like that happen with university work.

I feel like posting a photo of my dog now :bigrin::

[bigregory]

Some days it is just better to open a beer and relax:tongue:

[Ninnian]

Holycow!,
That makes me feel like a slackard for simply cutting up 2 oranges and making a bowl of what I lovingly called "gruel"(it was hot multigrain cereal with soy milk) for breakfast!

Tommorow- I think Im going to have to wrestle soemthing or go hunter/gather something for breakfast. Geez!

I Hope your Lunch and dinner prove to be less stressful! :D

Nin

[HighEnergy]

The cat mentioned above has made ammends in her eyes. She brought home something dead and furry and left it in the driveway yesterday afternoon. I, of course in my moment of not being attentive to this fact, drove over said disgusting thing. Then, in a moment of not being fully appreciative of said efforts, yelled at the cat for leaving said beautiful gift for me.

Like the men in the other thread, she was seen walking away, twitching her lovely tail side to side, and I swear I heard her mutter, "All I do for her, and The Bitch is never happy!"

The good news is, overnight someone came and took away said beautiful, albeit disgusting gift. And the dog? She's looking at the cat as if to say, "you are SOOO COOOOL!"

[Ninnian]

Honest High Energy!,
Here -you should have considered this a Cultural Exchange.

"Here ,Mom! Your food tastes pretty ok. I enjoy it and appreciate the fact that you left it in a convenient place on your furniture for me to get at. I have used my feline prowess to procure for you a healthy , fresh snack from My domain, and left it where you could pick it up on your way out..."

My cats think they ARE dogs- and here I am having to put down thier only remaining Dog tommorow. Now who are they gunna rub under trying to get snuffled?? :(

Nin

[Skater Boy]

Here -you should have considered this a Cultural Exchange.

"Here ,Mom! Your food tastes pretty ok. I enjoy it and appreciate the fact that you left it in a convenient place on your furniture for me to get at. I have used my feline prowess to procure for you a healthy , fresh snack from My domain, and left it where you could pick it up on your way out..."

Well, its *kinda* true... cats DO deliberately bring the rodents back to their owners as "gifts". Mine usually plays with it until its lifeless, then drops it on the doormat and sits nearby meowing until you acknowledge the fact that she's done a good job. I tend to give her a good stroke afterwards, despite the fact that I'm not keen on her killing sprees. She has even been known to bring back small birds and pigeons too.

Other than that, the only human foods she'll touch are Wensleydale cheese and smoked ham.

[Ninnian]

Other than that, the only human foods she'll touch are Wensleydale cheese and smoked ham.[/QUOTE]

Gee, your feline sounds just a wee bit fussier than my four. I have tried every fancy cat treat under the sun, only to find what they REALLy like is extra-cheddar Goldfish crackers. Oh, and peanutbutter on wheat toast, and any meat out of a can.

Mice or such on teh doorstep... I think cats do that to show us what great hunters and providers they are. 'Gifts fo rthe poor inept humans who cant seem to hunt down thier own food!'.. 'thanks for being the roof over my head and teh provider of ear scratchings!' ?... I dunno. They aren't as strait fwd as dogs.
:D