Question for the couples...

[TaylorMade]

Invariably, whenever a single bisexual woman makes her presence known, couples make moves on her, even if she has it quite clear that she is not looking for such.

What I want to know is... why? It doesn't endear one, nor will she answer kindly. Why bother someone who is not looking to be what you want?

*Taylor*

[TaylorMade]

I know there are couples here, and I'm sure even some who have done this. . .I'm sure you have an explanation, right?

Right?

*Taylor*

[FalconAngel]

We're still trying to figure that one out, ourselves.

It hasn't happened to us on this site, but on others, when we post our info and what we are looking for, we always get all the straight guys that are trying to hook up. Right up until they figure out that we are looking only for Bi guys to join us; and even then, there have been a few that have tried to convince us to lower our standards to suit what they want.

It isn't you, Taylor. It's them.

There are just some people that cannot seem to bother to read profiles before responding to ads.
Doesn't matter your gender, your orientation or your relationship status. Doesn't matter if you are a female or couple.

There are just some guys (and, since you mentioned that it happens, more than one or two couples) that are too stupid and/or self-centered to consider what you are looking for and what you want, placing their wants over and above your standards.

When we get folks like that, we politely explain to them to really read our profile "again". If they still don't get it or expect us to change to suit their wants, then we tell them to bugger off and ignore them from that point on.

[Turboguy]

Only thing I can guess....as I've never been in the situation .........



If a woman is posting "not looking" or not interested.....well......I look at it like this....she is a woman and probably gets a bazillion responses from real people all the way up to the freaks/flakes. So.....a serious guy/couple might try to open the lines of communication to see if that is the case or not. If someone is respect full and hits it off with you...then maybe they think they can "change" or become the "one" you are looking for?? Not sure if that made a bit of sense...but that's my 2 cents worth.......LOL

[**Peg**]

I understand Taylor.

it CLEARLY states in my profile that I'm straight. it clearly states that if you do not have a profile I will not respond to private messages. I still get pms from women wanting cyber sex, from people with no profiles, and I don't want to be rude but I simply do not respond. If they pm me 2/3 times I put them on ignore. I've been called a bitch and worse *shrug*.

I must admit that I had entree to the site via an old friend who introduced me to the regulars here, and so I tend to stick with them for conversation. They in turn have referred me to other trustworthy discreet people and I enjoy their company as well, profiles or not: they came with references.

but a troll** is a troll is a troll and there will always be newbies trying to hustle you.....their motivation nothwithstanding, try not to stress about it and ignore it if you can.

stress is not good for one's serenity.

** PS : in my previous chatroom (unlike this one) a "troll" was a newbie who came into a room "trolling" for something (cyber, phone sex or whatever) as in: "To fish for by trailing a baited line from behind a slowly moving boat."

the revised online dictionary says a troll is : "a person who posts deliberately inflammatory messages on an internet discussion board" likening the troll to a person who lives under a bridge somewhere I guess.

sorry I'm rambling, I'll shuddup now <grin>

[still_shy]

If someone is respect full and hits it off with you...then maybe they think they can "change" or become the "one" you are looking for??

I agree...that's exactly what I was going to say...that they think they can change your opinion. My profile says, "no horny men pming me for cyber please" but guess what? Horny men pm me all the time looking for cyber. LOL It seems to me that if you specifically say you DON'T want something in your profile, there's always someone out there who thinks they can sway you otherwise. I get a lot of "Why don't you want to cyber with men? Maybe you just haven't had the right one." That cracks me up. It is frustrating at times, seems like no one answers a personal ad but the people you say you aren't interested in.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

lol I totally concur. What I get alot of is, "So, do you like horny gay and Bi men? What size are those tits anyway?""
My responce is, "Sure, if I know and like them. And "Tits? What do think I am, a cow?""

And it chat I've been accused of being anti-social because I dont do PM's from people I dont know. That's not always the case! Sometimes I just want to join in on the banter on the board with my friends, and people that I care about. If I know a person, they are free to PM me anytime, but I dont want to put up with horny-looking for cyber sex-inviduals-just because I'm a single bi woman, or because I have big boobs, big deal.
B'sides, I have hard enough time keeping up in chat without 500 blasted PM's up in front of me..lol
So, if they think I'm rude, OFW. lol
Hugz ya'll
Cat

[TaylorMade]

Of course it's not just here. . .

I posted an ad on Craigslist, in the Women for Women section.

I got this response:


Hi,

We have tried this a few times on Craigslist.. but it never seems to happen.. almost better meeting at a bar.. anyway, point is.. sorry if this email seems kinda short or whatever.. It just almost seems pointless to spend much time on here..


My wife is looking for another woman to play with. We have tried this in vegas & she loved it.. only thing is she tends to be a bit shy & gets tense when she is nervous.. best way we've found to deal with this/get the night started is to have a few drinks..


I manage a bar on south beach.. so maybe we can all meet up for a drink one of these nights..

This is for my wife.. if you two hit it off, then great.. if not, it's ok.. I am more interested in her opening up & enjoying this kind of experience. I will be around.. close by.. but I do not have to be there to interrupt u guys..


Also, she just moved here recently from California.. & is a stay at home mommy for now.. so, she is also looking for other friends to hang out with.

Have u been with other women? Do you like to take charge? What did you have in mind? we have more pics to offer..

Thanks,

I'm sensing this is a cut-n-paste job... he just probably posts this to every woman.

But I decided to be as courteous as possible.


Hi,

I'm responding, but probably not in the way you'd like. I think the reason no one's responding (as well as my personal lack of interest in your offer) is because:

You're a man writing women seeking other women. Yes, I know it's for your wife, but we have been collectively (and individually) burned WAY too many times to buy it. I'm sure she's shy, but... the internet is for the shy, the closeted and reluctant - - if she had e-mailed under her own e-mail instead of you doing such on her behalf, you probably would have had some success by now.

Maybe you should try Miami Velvet or Trapeze- or google selective swinging in Miami, since it's obvious you're attractive enough to make the cut -many of the ladies there are friendly and will be more than happy to show your wife (and you) a good time.

I am not that person. . . unless she wants to e-mail me herself, under her own e-mail to set things up.

Until then, I've got nothing else to say.

Thanks.

*Taylor*