Sick of CYBER? Let's make a change 2gether!!!

[3naib]

Hello all!

As it is late Christmas eve, I find myself longing for a place that I 'belong'. I could go out to a gigantic, 4-story meat market breeder bar to see my BF's sister for some late night entertainment. But, whenever I do this, although I am amused at the antics, I feel further isolated and lonely.

I recently joined this site seeking the "warmth of communal fires." I sought to experience a sense of community that I have never felt in either het or homo circles.

In the brief time I have had the privilege to be a member here, I have met some WONDERFUL people that I would call part of my psycho-sexual "tribe". :bibounce: For this opportunity, I am very grateful!

I must, however, point out that that in order to do this, I have had to weed through and tolerate an onslought of cyber-seekers.

I was curious, and have enjoyed dabbling... but cyber is not what I really want nor what I need to feel fulfilled or satisfied spending so much time here on line.

While I have a dedicated pursuit, thus reason to be here, I am inviting my strait partner to join bisexual.com. Mostly due to the strait-partners-of-bis who have praised their expererience here; how much it has helped them through the uncertainty and fear of misconceptions about bisuxuality. I hope that this site will help to be a catalyst for my partner and I to further our understandings and comfort tolerances with one another.

While I have no issue at all with those (cyberers) with similar intentions having a space to find one another freely, I find myself, at times, growing weary of the casual presumption that we are all here to hook up to cyber, or if humanly possible, in person. :tong: I also suspect that the often debaucherous hit-level will turn my partner right off of this space for good if he encounters too much. Neither of us likes meatmarket type places, nor have ever felt comfortable or "safe" there. I wish there were some way for me to "shield" him from this. That I feel this way at all makes me realize that there is an opportunity to explore change within this on-line COMMUNITY.

I have extended my virtual hand to several people whose profiles suggested that they hoped for more meaningful connections here. Often my hand was met with suspician and resistance. When I inquired about that hestancy, each has expressed feeling exhaustion from fending off the cruisers that the chat room and other forms of approach online can be.

Hmmm, many OTHER people within our community seem to be feeling displaced like me.

For the record- a place for bisexuals to connect for sex is a wonderful tool. :bigrin: HOORAY for it!!!!!

Now, how 'bout we who have other needs put our efforts forth to create a "safe" space for us to commune in a cyber-free zone??? :grouphug:


To simply throw some ideas out there:

What if we create a chat room that is cyber-free? Or, better yet, create a seperate room for those seeking to exchange cyber sex, and leave the main room open for more free dialogue. What if there were icons we could add to show that we are seeking support, or have a pressing question, or have specific needs to connect with a live human online, OTHER than sex??



Please join me to help all of us create a space where ALL our needs are met equally.

PLEASE share your feelings and ideas!!!

All my love,
3naib

[arana]

Hi 3naib, I can sympathize with your delema. Here are a couple of suggestions for you:

First off, I think you should change your "summary ad". Say you are not looking for cyber in that line. That will take care of at least those that bother to read before pming.

Also you have the option to turn off the private message box by going to your settings or profile tab and clicking that function off. Then you will not receive the pm's and are able to talk to people in the main chatroom. Should you want to private with someone you'd have to turn the feature back on.

Lastly, you can make a cyber free zone room yourself. Whenever you come to chat, go to the ROOMS tab and create a room with whatever name you wish, and under topic put that no cyber is allowed. Then anyone that is interested can go to that room when they come to chat. All they have to do is see what rooms are available and yours will be listed as long as someone is in there. As you get to know people and they see you are on the site they will know to look for you there as well.

I hope this will help. Good luck!

[3naib]

Thanks Arana!! That is DEFINATELY helpful advice for avoiding cybers when I choose not to. I will ammend my profile to reflect that cyber is not why I am here. But I feel like tis pretty clear for anyone taking the time to read it. :)

If I do explicitly state, "NOT HERE FOR CYBER" in my profile, I then feel as though if the mood strikes me to engage in a cyber session, that I would have to alter my profile each or any of those times, and that somehow I am compromised.

This whole idea violates the spirit of my request and furthers my point in general.

WHY ARE WE ALL HERE? WHAT ARE OUR PRIORITIES? ARE *MOST* OF OUR NEEDS BEING MET? HOW COULD IT BE BETTER?

Maybe a poll would be a better vehicle to gauge and assess the needs and feelings of the greater community.

I guess I need to point out that I really ENJOY the pm's I have shared. It has been there that I have shared great and meaningful conversations with people that have totally helped me to expand myself and shared comraderie. I **don't want to turn it off!!!**
I also enjoy the banter of the general room. If I create and go into a seperate room, I cannot be in 2 places at once, so I need to rely on others to "find" me there. I become marginalized.

I have issues with the system not being disigned to accomodate many people's expressed needs, not just my own.

Hence my rally cry for voices within to community to establish a need for some minor changes.

How difficult would it be for the Site Admin to add another room?

How can we assess if change is needed to grow?

[arana]

Thanks Arana!! That is DEFINATELY helpful advice for avoiding cybers when I choose not to. I will ammend my profile to reflect that cyber is not why I am here. But I feel like tis pretty clear for anyone taking the time to read it. :)


This is why I said to change your "Summary Ad" line. This is the line that shows up in the chatroom part of your profile. The rest of your profile must be gone to and read. So if someone only reads the chat portion of your profile that's all they know of what you're looking for. Usually someone taking the time to read all your profile isn't someone that will go straight to cyber before talking.

We've had other rooms before with the older chat system and they were very seldom used. Most stay and chat in the mainroom or in privates rather than go to an alternate room. I believe that is why Drew might have gone to just the ladies and men's rooms with the members being able to make their own rooms if they so choose. I encouraged you to petition for any changes you'd like to see though and I'm sure people interested will happily back you up!

[cchalmer]

I agree with everything that you have to say.....and just because you decide one night that you want to engage in cyber doesn't mean you have to change your profile. You can feel free to sit back and decide who you want to "play" with....CL and I enjoy all forms of play and we have some people on here that if the mood strikes us we will cyber with but it is always on our terms. I find as you get to know people on here more you can pretty much know who is here for fun and chat and then ignore others if you so desire.

I have spent a lot of time in the chat and sometimes it's a serious place...sometimes a fun place.....but one thing that always remains-the friends that I have met here are always a pleasure to talk to no matter what the conversation.

I hope you find what you are looking for.

[showmeguy]

Hurrah 3naib !

You've said what many of us think and feel, and said it very well too.

I feel fortunate to have made many friends on this site, or even if they do not think of themselves as my friends, i feel warmly towards them. I know a little something about each of them; the many medical problems that kitten is dealing with, for example, and i see her as courageous and attractive, and she inspires me to deal with the difficult things in my life with some greater grace than if i had never known there was a kitten.

There are at least another half dozen others i could mention who have touched me in some way here, all of them differently, and none of these involve cyber-sex. Contacts of this nature do not arise from one visit to the site. It's not like going to a store to buy something, returning home with mission accomplished. It takes time to allow others to discover that it is safe to talk to you. Then it takes more time to allow that discovery process to unfold and ultimately to blossom.

Some time ago i found a little book of love letters written by Kahlil Gibran, who said to his lover that he could never be disappointed in her because he was always discovering her. That is such a simple idea, but subtle; way too subtle for people who think the only thing worth doing with other people is using them or being used by them.

I sometimes think of chatters here as being hunters, looking for prey and always disappointed when they find none; and explorers, who are never disappointed, always surprised by what they discover here; the rainbow on the waterfall, the panorama at the top of the hill, the kitten who inspires and the 3naib who says the things we think for us.

Welcome to our chat room, 3naib.

:)

[codybear3]

I think we have all been hit on for cybering. And depending on my mood, I can play along or decline. Its a choice I can make when I don't feel like playing. State in your profile that you are not interested in cybering, but you can almost be sure that it will not deter those who do not take the time to read the reasons for ones reason for being here. Hope your quest reaches a positive end... :paw: :paw:

[flawyer2000]

Everyone should be able to come into the chat room and be able to engage in whatever dialogue they wish to. I like to think of our chat room as a cyber "night club". Yes, we all come into "Cheers" to mingle, chitchat, and have a few laughs. However, if you should happen to come upon someone you like to get to know more...well, that's why God invented "rejection". I think that the same rules apply here as do your local wateringhole. Therefore, if you come into the room, and get hit on by someone....tell them no thanks, ignore them, or call the bouncer. Anyone with any manners will get the hint after the first no thanks and will not engage in any further cybering. If not, then ignoring that person will do. I love to engage in naughty talk with some individuals in the chat room, but I am always certain that that person is in the same mindset and that I am not invading their space. Just let us know, I think that should cure the problem for you.

Just my thoughts, for what their worth. LOL

flawyer2000

[12voltman59]

3naib:

I am glad for you that you discovered this web site as I did not all that long ago.

I had been hoping to find a web site like this for months and finally did find it totally by accident.

For a few months prior to finding Bisexual.com, I had finally had the guts to try chatting in the many "bi curious" chat rooms on AOL. I soon found that visiting those places was not was I looking for. Almost immediately after arriving in those chat rooms--you start getting IMs from people seeking to "have fun."

I rarely found anyone who really wanted to talk about anything at all serious--it was for the most part people seeking cyber sex at least and an immediate hook up at most.

When I first starting chatting here--I found that there were those who were "lurking" in the main chat room--very quickly they would IM me.
In a number of cases--they would soon want to cyber.

I have found that such people usually don't post anything at all in their profiles and they may come visit the site a few times--then they never come back.

I think that many of these people are just seeking some kind of thrill and have no real interest in making a real connection with other people.

As some of the other members have told you in their posts--there are ways to let people know that you are not interested in cybering--at least until you have learned more about one another other than things like "do you like to do it upside down with your body covered in peanut butter and listening to Slim Whitman records?" or WHATEVER.....

Come back and become a regular--I think you will like it here..... :2cents: :yinyang: :lokai: :color:

[Mrs.F]

I agree with most the comments already stated. Like Voltman said, when you visit often in the chat room or post alot, people learn who you are and why your here. You will soon learn the ones that are here to help and who really care! :grouphug:

I was getting hit all the time while in the chat room when I first joined, by people I didn't know, because they didn't know why I was here...they only saw that I was a "straight woman" in my profile. I have never gotten hit for cyber by anyone who really knows me. The one's that want cyber just come and go and hope to get lucky that night with whomever. I have learned to just ignore those people and go about my business. Most catch on and never bug me again! :rolleyes:

I'm glad you found this site for you and your straight partner to enjoy. I came here to understand my husband's feelings and learn about bisexuality. In return I have learned so much more about myself and some issues I had that I didn't realize. It really is a wonderful place!

Good luck to you :)

[usedbear1950]

Hi 3naib,

You bring up some interesting points and I think that some of the responses are right on track. flawyer likens the chat room to 'Cheers'. Whenever someone enters the chat room they usually receive a "Hi Norm" from the room and the discussion continues. If someone wants to PIM and you are not in the mood a "No Thank You" would suffice. Most of the people here would not take offense. I have found this site to be the best of all I've tried and that is because of the people that populate it.
When I PIM I prefer to get to know the other person, sometimes we cyber and sometimes not. As in the bar analogy it's like stepping away from the bar and sitting at a private table. I find cybering titalating but not fulfilling.
There are people here from all over the globe that I would love to have grace my table and chat with in person. I find it a little frustrating that we can't 'beam up' to a large sitting room and chat face to face. Maybe I've gone a little :offtopic: and I apologize for that. I just want to talk to people who are bi or have loved ones that are bi and share some time and thoughts.

[onewhocares]

Hello, this is Belle from Twowhocare,


I, like you, find it a privilege to be able to have found this site, by accident. What a nice place to land. I agree with many of the items you mention, and yes you are always going to find people who just want sex. If that is what people want there are certainly other avenues to follow. I think this site offers so much more.

I too have met so many wonderful people whom I would not have an an opportuny to meet elsewhere. A friendship, a bond that ties us all together in this crazy world. How lucky are we to have this area to test the waters, gain insight and feedback from others who may have experianced what we have gone through, and perhaps if we are lucky, help someone else. I know I have had the kindness of others bestowed on me when I needed it. Many of us gather strenght from others.

Friendship and relationships develop because of the people involved, and here I find, after an initial pleasantries phase, people are genuine and caring. We have found that being speciffic on what you want, but more importantly, what you are not seeking has been the key to us being rewarded with fine folks. We have met a number of them. As with any site, caution prevails.

Any site can always use new ideas and thoughts, and perhaps they may be implimented at the request of many. Just a few comments.

[wanderingrichard]

wow, it never ceases to amaze me how supportive we are here.. and reading things like this just keeps re inforcing my belief that i've finally found a virtual home away from home..

3naib, stick around hon, these is good folks.. we tend to get rid of the morons who want to do nothing but hit it and quit it.. email me some time hon, and i'll tell ya a story about coming out as a bi male that may make ya blush.
Rich

[jo69guy]

I seldom find myself in the chat room for the same reason. I joined this sight to make friends, lend/receive support, and maybe make a few friends. While I have done all of these things, it seems I can never go into chat without someone wanting cyber. While that does appeal to me from time to time, I have a wonderful, loving, steady partner, who takes care of my needs here very well!

Why can't we have "normal" conversations more and not jump right into sex?

:2cents: :flag3:

[3naib]

Thanks for sharing Jo69. :flag1: I hope more people who feel discouraged from frequenting the chat room will speak up.

I know there are those members who are highly visable and vocal who feel very comfortable with the way things are.

I hope to reach out to the people who are NOT as visible because they choose not to participate as much. It can be overwhelming to squelch the cyber-seekers. I didn't feel like there was a place to speak openly about it.

[csrakate]

Thanks for sharing Jo69. :flag1: I hope more people who feel discouraged from frequenting the chat room will speak up.

I know there are those members who are highly visable and vocal who feel very comfortable with the way things are.

I hope to reach out to the people who are NOT as visible because they choose not to participate as much. It can be overwhelming to squelch the cyber-seekers. I didn't feel like there was a place to speak openly about it.
3naib,
Being highly visible or vocal in chat doesn't mean that we accept the constant requests for cyber. What we are trying to tell you is that once you get used to the way things happen at times, you will not be so bothered. That doesn't mean that we don't find it offensive to get constant cyber requests...we have just learned to treat them as we would any other rude interruptions...by ignoring them and moving on. I just don't let that bother me anymore...I rarely even respond. I just click the pm and it goes away...many times without another attempt. No matter where you are...no matter how strict the code of conduct may be, there will always be those who feel exempt from any and all rules. That's just the way it is. Do we have to tolerate it?...No..we don't...and by ignoring these people and not allowing them to keep us from continuing our chat is just how we choose to deal with it. Those of us who choose to chat choose to stand our ground and not allow them to drive us away or hamper our fun. Having a separate room for cyber sounds good in theory...but it will only lead to more frustrations when those who feel they are above the rules continue to break them.

I just don't want the new members to get the impression that going to chat is so horrible. It's not as though you will receive constant requests ad infinitum...eventually even the dumbest ones catch on. And if they don't, simply make a statement to them in the main room that you do not talk outside of the main chat room. That pretty much ends it!

So please...join us in chat and don't let the cyber requests keep you away. We need to have you with us and to voice your opinions...and perhaps stating them in the chat room might very well enlighten some of the less receptive Cyber Hunters just a bit! Who knows...maybe you can be the start of an anti cyber revolution!!

Hugs,
Kate

[jo69guy]

I have to agree. Going to the chat room is not a bad thing. Several times I have visited, and just had normal"clean" conversations. My point was, as you said, someone almost always PMs me for cyber. I usually ignore it or leave the room when it happens. I know there are others here who have no other bi-outlet, so this is the best they can do.

I don't have a problem with it per say, just usually am not interested. Would rather discuss other things, or help someone who might need some advice/support.

:2cents: :bipride:

[3naib]

csrakate: Please try, if you can, to hear how what you are saying might be silencing to some people...

What we are trying to tell you is that once you get used to the way things happen at times, you will not be so bothered.
It sounds like you speak for the general "we" of Bisexual.com, and that I and everyone else should defer to the generally accepted way of the general "you". Thus, implying a general "right way" or accepted way to feel and act about it. We are in a diverse culture of a minority of a minority here... that is what it means to be bisexual. Do we not want to reach out to EVERYONE in this community and see how they feel?


Those of us who choose to chat choose to stand our ground and not allow them to drive us away or hamper our fun.

I invite you to consider that it is not as easy for others as it is for you to "simply ignore" or "stand your ground" against the perpetual hits of cyber seekers.
Look at your choice of language... it implies a struggle. Who wants to come here for safety and succor to "struggle" against an onslought of things that make them feel uncomfortable?


It's not as though you will receive constant requests ad infinitum...eventually even the dumbest ones catch on.

Actually, that is exactly what it is like for me. It doesn't matter that I ignore them and they go away... its that 10-15 of them every half hour pop up and THAT is a daunting average. I feel like i am constantly deflecting lecherous jerks to maintain a nice conversation, even playful conversation with someone.

I recognize that I am hardier than many, and so have chosen to ignore them when I have opted to enjoy myself in the chat room. Often, an intense dialogue with one or 2 people, goes off into a PM chat so its not constantly interupted by the main room lechers.
HOWEVER, I wonder about those members who are NOT as thick-skinned as you or I.

I have experienced several conversations that suggests there are MORE people out there who feel that way than have had the opportunity to convey.

I think that its wonderful that you, and so many ARE that comfortable with this aspect of this site's experience. I am in no way condemning it, or nor insisting that it needs change! I am asking for an open discussion to explore everyone's needs.

There have been many replies above from what I referrred to LOVINGLY as the "visible & vocal". I love reading the voices of these (YOU) people and feel as though I am coming to know them trough but those replies often have a un-intended subtext: "Deal with it, just ignore it, its not that bad, we are worth it."

If there is a larger community that would freely participate if there were a way to better deterr cyberers... would you not want to include them?

I am SOOOOO sorry that this thread makes you feel defensive this way! NO judgement or harm is meant!!!!!!


Having a separate room for cyber sounds good in theory...but it will only lead to more frustrations when those who feel they are above the rules continue to break them.

Has this been done? Have there been attampts to lable people or flag them as they enter the chat room? Are there really that many people who go out of their way to be lecherous to those who do not want it?

Shall we assume that it is as good as it gets and not discuss opportunity for improvement?

I AM NOT TRYING TO ATTACK THE SITE!!!!
I AM TRYING TO OPEN A FREE DISCUSSION ABOUT HOW PEOPLE FEEL ABOUT IT AND HOW THEY THINK IT COULD BE IMPROVED UPON!!!

[csrakate]

3naib,
I was in no way intending to silence anyone or to infer that there was a right or wrong way to do anything. I was merely trying to extend a hand to those that might feel uneasy and to encourage them to please join us. No offense was taken by your comments in this thread...but I certainly did not mean to offend either! I apologize if you took my statements that way. I didn't mean for it to sound that way. I also didn't intend to sound as if I was on the defensive either. I agree with your stance that these people are a nuisance. I also feel, however, that if you were more vocal in the room itself, that it might be heard by those who offend you instead of preaching to the choir, since those who come to chat to "hook up" aren't likely to read the forum...that is all that I meant by that.

I am sorry if my response came across wrong...it was certainly not my intention.

Kate

[DGoncz]

Dear Codybear and 3naib,

WTF is CYBER? Typing with one hand & shooting down a plane / dusting out your mop with the other? Or is it a web cam thing? I didn't know this site supported cams...

I haven't been hit on, but I am new here, still groping in the dark, in a manner of speaking. (Hmmmm. Groping... nice thought)

I have always had a hard, er, *time* figuring out where to draw the line between bisexual (polygender) nondiscrimination and indiscriminateness. I'm like a puppy. I mean, you could walk up to me on the street and get a hug if you wanted one, and there would be nothing more to it than that, although there could be more. (wink wink, nudge nudge, know wot I mean?)

Most people are like "If you'll be my friend, you can have sex with me...." but I'm more like "If you have the guts to have sex with me (or flirt outrageously, or hug otherwise break the Awful Ice), then we *might* hit it off as friends." But still I'm not promiscuous; quite the opposite. I think I am just in another minority there.

:2cents:

I think I spelled "promiscuous" wrongly.

The Dougster

[3naib]

LOL Dougster!

:rolleyes: Um, I guess I fell competent to give it a general definition:

[B]Cyber ('SIGH-burr) v.
In a chat room online, the act of propositioning another individual to partake in graphic, explicit sexual acts via the exchange of words, usually seeking an online partner to achieve the big O.

In short: online sex.



How'd I do guys? Did I leave anything out?




ps no one can spell here... its about WHAT you say, not how you spell it!

[Driver 8]

It seems to me that there might be at least two type of people interested in the chat - people who are using it as a sort of supplement to the personals, and people who just want to socialize. The cyberers seem to me to be part of the first group - it's a legit use, just not what everyone wants.

I do agree that what feels like constant pestering can be off-putting ... maybe even more so for women, since out bi women get so many "Can I watch?" requests.

I'm not sure how both groups needs can be met. I doubt that the drive-by's are educable, but perhaps it would be nice if the main chat page had some tips? There's the little list of rules at the top when you post to the forum ... perhaps something similar would be good for chat? Maybe a note that cyber is okay, but be polite - and also pointing out the ignore button, and assuring newbies they're under no obligation to respond?

It sounds like some people might be assuming there's nothing in chat except cyber - maybe something on the page itself would help, without cutting the cyberers off?

[codybear3]

LOL Dougster!

:rolleyes: Um, I guess I fell competent to give it a general definition:

[B]Cyber ('SIGH-burr) v.
In a chat room online, the act of propositioning another individual to partake in graphic, explicit sexual acts via the exchange of words, usually seeking an online partner to achieve the big O.

In short: online sex.



How'd I do guys? Did I leave anything out?




ps no one can spell here... its about WHAT you say, not how you spell it!

There it is Dougster...3naib layed it out...And I have engaged in cyber before, but if I don't feel like it, I won't...I believe there is an "ignore" button or something that will block a person from trying to reach you...I don't know if it needs to be activated everytime you sign on...But to all that don't care for it, just say "NO".....And I, personally, am not here to check on peoples proper spelling, sow wryt et owt an ey weel doo mai behst too reed et... :bigrin: :paw: :paw:

[sailorashore]

I'm with kate, and cody. At sea we have a saying, "If it works, don't fuck with it." This site, and it's chatroom, provide more humor, support, and genuine comraderie than any other I've seen. And, for some of us, it's the first place we've been where we didn't feel like freaks (Oh, you mean there ARE other people in this same boat?) And yes, for some of us it's a place to hook up, and maybe have some of the sexual intimacy that we might ONLY be able to have in the anonymous darkness of cyberspace. If I'm not interested, I can simply say no. If you're not interested in me, YOU can say no. If somebody doesn't want "no" for an answer, there is always the "ignore" button. Beyond that, life has it's little tribulations--get over it. If you spend any time at all in this chatroom, you'll realize there's more to it than just sex, and there's a lot of fun and friendship to be had, and just forget about the droolers--you wouldn't let them stop you for a private chat on the street, would you?. And two seconds after you brushed past them they'd be forgotten forever. C'mon, remember the prayer, "Dear Lord, grant me the strength to change the things I can, the patience to accept the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference." In other words, don't sweat the small shit. sailorashore :2cents:

[sexiness]

Hello :)
I am fairly new here but not to sex orientated forums and there sure are alot of people who want cybersex and are very insistant about it. I think if you know what you want from a forum then you will have no problem finding friends and like minded people. It is important you say no to cybersex ...just like you would at a bar.

I think though everyone should have the freedom to get what they need to from a forum like this. If people want to cyber then let them find people who want to cyber back.

I say live and let live ;)

[Biboz49]

I wanted to put in my :2cents: but sailorashore and others have said it best. The chat on this site is the best and everyone is so supportive and accepting. If someone who has wandered in is bugging you then hit the ignore button and continue to enjoy the conversation.

[PeterH]

Hi 3naib,

it's a good point to have brought up. I get the impression that women are bothered much more often than men, so they have more reason to be bothered.
Personally, I don't like being pm-ed for cyber. I might give it a try with a person I already know already, but definitely not with someone i don't know anything about.
What i get often is a message like 'horny?' I type back 'not' and that seems to be effective in ending it. Costs very little time. Strangely enough, I also have had some fairly interesting conversations with people who PM-ed me although I hadn't talked with them in main chat before. They were mostly people in some sort of distress.
What i am worried about is that it might be very offputting for people to be approached like this all the time. People who otherwise might have stayed around and could have become friends. So I think it would be worthwile to look for solutions. Next to the ones mentioned above, I think there are several solutions to the cyber-problem.

Social solutions:
- When people are trying to cyber, the person being pm-ed could mention this in the chat room: 'so and so is trying to cyber me' I think this might scare off some people.

Technological:
- It might be possible to have settings that allow pm's only from buddies (I haven't figured out what buddies are yet, but assume these are the people you call friends)
- It might be possible to indicate in chat who you accept to PM you, the norm being that people can't PM you, unless you set them to OK

I hope this helps

Peter

[huneypot]

I would love if Drew could somehow update the chatroom to include lill icons/small messages or something similar that would allow us to express if we would like to contacted or not.
Before I was in an AOL room which had this function and I found it very very usefull
I simply wrote "plz ask b4 pm,ty" or " no cyber plz"
and I was never bothered again.
I dont know how difficult this would be for Drew to do, but if u can Drew.. please please concider it....thank you.
I believe that the room should be free for everyone, no matter what they are looking for, and I always hope that everyone finds that if it be cyber, a laugh, a shoulder to cry on, a 1 on 1 chat or anything else..........
Personally I dont cyber, I dont get anything from it, and ok ok, yes ive done it in the room, lol, but I was too busy wetting myself laughing to do anything else, for me it was a laugh, a bloody good laugh....and I hope that it didnt offend anyone.

Which reminds me
IM STILL WAITING FOR THE TAPE THATS IN THE EDITING ROOM LOL
hugs
Huney
xxx
xx
x
:)