Newbies Rejection

[Jadeite]

Ok so since my last post I have thought about all the advice I was given (TYVM to all btw). I have found one girl who I'm friends with that I get those butterfly feelings about (god I love that feeling and being around her) the only problem is she doesn't want to be anything other than friends with me. So I've tried to meet girls online and Idk if it's cuz I'm up front about it being my first time with a girl that they just ignore me or if it's just me. How am I supposed to really try to find out about dating them when they won't even acknowledge me? I'm shy and don't have any idea where to meet girls in person near me. Has anyone else had this problem or is it really just me?

:banghead::confused:

[dangerous_unicorn]

i once was like you but found that one person who even tho it was my first time they didn't try to get away they understood and still cared it might take some time but be yourself don't try to change and you will find that one person like i did.

[mel85]

I am having the same kind of problem. I guess people want more experienced girls to date or something. But I also think it has something to do with our shyness, I am trying to be more flirtation's but it's going slow lol.

Just keep at it, the right girl will fall for you eventually ;)

Hope it goes better.

[onewhocares]

Funny, I am just on this site talking about my first time with my husband and a man and many of the feelings are the same. I was just saying how nervous and unsure I was...and now looking back (don't you just love 20/20 hindsight) I should have paid more attention to my natural instincts and be with a man with whom I shared a greater connection...like the one that were to follow. Perhaps I am one who is NOT interested in just plain sex for sex, but have found that an emotional and physical attraction is what I savour most.

So...do not rush into anything that you may regret, but wait and you will know the right woman when the butterflies tell you so. I know....



Belle

[AFTER9]

Wow I love the feelings of those butterflys. Even when things are not going (like the rut I'm in) I get satisfaction at what I'm capable of and my ever increasing self acceptance about my sexual hopes, dreams and desires.
Just that self confidence that if the right person presses the turn me hot buttons we will both be in for a treat.

[still_shy]

Great advice everyone :)

I was where you were a few months ago and I'm going to share something with you that may or may not help. I started searching for a woman to be with, put out all the appropriate ads in all the right places, had it set in my mind exactly what I wanted and all that jazz :P I made it pretty clear that, although I had been with a woman, it was only one time about 10 years ago. After a while I got pretty frustrated with the lack of response to my ad and went completely against my gut instinct and started dating a girl I knew was completely wrong for me, As much as I hate to admit this, I think it was the hormones talking LOL I just wanted to be with a girl and get it over with, to see if it was really as good as I thought it would be. (BTW it was) But going against my instincts cost me a lot of hurt, confusion and general discontent as I tried to fit myself into what she wanted as opposed to the pieces just falling together, as they should. The moral to this story is, give it time hun. The right girl will come along, probably long after you've given up on finding her :P If you are patient, and go with what you feel--then everything will work out. It takes time, all of it.
Hugs and good luck to you :)

[onewhocares]

I just wanted to be with a girl and get it over with, to see if it was really as good as I thought it would be. (BTW it was) But going against my instincts cost me a lot of hurt, confusion and general discontent as I tried to fit myself into what she wanted as opposed to the pieces just falling together, as they should. The moral to this story is, give it time hun. The right girl will come along, probably long after you've given up on finding her :P If you are patient, and go with what you feel--then everything will work out. It takes time, all of it.
Hugs and good luck to you


My, no truer words have been spoken.....as a matter of fact, just by me recently. While my situation was different...for it was the first time hubby and I were involved in a threesome. It was done, like you, to sort of get it over and done with. Looking back....don't you just love hindsight....and after having experianced some wonderful, meaningful, and caring threesomes for the RIGHT reason....I would have waited.

I am a firm believer that if you are open and honest, and willing to give of yourself, the right one will come along.....and that gut feeling of yours...it will tell you it is the right lady....just listen to it this time dear one.

Belle

[xXxSatur9xXx]

I feel the same as you do. I feel as if the question of "does she really want this?" is the main concern for the girls I'm interested in. Since I am in college, it is the stereotype that most college girls are only bi in college b/c it brings more male attention and blah blah blah about more stupid things. They just kiss another female because it seemed like a good idea at the time. I know it sounds weird but it makes since if the girl I like doesn't want to deal with that kind of drama. I know I would be upset if she turned out to only "like me" for the fun of it and not because I am a person she adores.
It does tie into the newbie thing; if you've never had the experience, how do you really know you are bi? How do you know you want this?
Because it's in your gut. It's all you can think about each time an amazing girl walks into your life. I didn't wake up one day and say "I'm going to bi." It took a whole lot more days to even notice the attraction I began to have for females.
Eh...sorry for the rant. >_< I hope you find that awesome someone. ^_^ She will come.