Unsettling Issue

[DanBasil]

I just wanted to get a feel for what knowledge there was in the bisexual community surrounding domestic violence in same-sex relationships. I work for the Gay Men's Domestic Violence Project ( www.gmdvp.org ) and I have found that there is a great lack of addressing the issue. Especially with male victims. I am just looking for general thoughts or discussions on the issue, or some good agencies outside of MA (that's where I work) that work with male survivors.
-thanks

[fairbankswingers]

:(DV needs work in all cases...some states like IN dont go after the abuser very hard...eg a person is abused, the police come, arrest the abuser and in court the abused person does not wish to testify...abuser walks...:(

[DanBasil]

Very true, but on the other side of that coin is the possibility that the abuser was the sole income provider for a family and then the state prosecutes and the victim is left with absolutely nothing and no place to go. Its a terrible double edged sword sometimes. :2cents:

[cutenewlybi]

I grew up watching my sperm donor abuse my mom...and it was the hardest thing she ever did (leaving him) She believed it was her fault and she deserved it all...it was after he kept abusing us kids she decieded to leave. The police did nothing to my sperm donor he got a 200 dollar fine and that was all.

[PhoenixRising35]

Wow, very good thread to post. I have been taken advantage of while visiting a friend one time and decided to press charges to make certain it didn't happen again. I was told that my information would be taken down, but since there hadn't been any penetration there was no way to press charges. Also, they didn't know how to handle it (this was in North Iowa) and I didn't receive any professional counseling which has added to my mental health issues today I believe.

One final note, about 2 weeks later, he tried to take advantage of a MR child. This time they were able to build a case (I think because of my report) and he went to prison. I never found out what happened to him afterwards, but I just wanted to say that while it may take a couple of times, sometimes they do go to jail.

[Vikkster230]

I know that this may not be the same, but it may explain why it's not always reported with same sex relationships...

My hubby was hit by his first wife. He never pressed charges and only filed a report the last time, primarily because of the stigma that's attached because he was abused and hit by a woman. Even when he did file the report, the Police Officer wasn't very supportive. So although I'm sure it happens, people may not always want to report something like that due to other people's reactions/opinions.

[angelrose1955]

This is a subject so close to my heart....I am a Domestic Violence/sexual assault counselor. I counsel both men and women survivors...It is much harder to find resources for men than for the women survivors...although it is harto find for them too.
It is true that most of the time the perp is the sole provider and we need to work hard to get the resources out there to let the survivors know where they can turn when in this position.
I am very passionate about this..just ask shameless
Being a survivor of DV..(and I am not a victim...I am a survivor...I hate the word victim) I know all too well the pitfalls and hoops one must jump through...but until society start standing up to the perps and really letting them know this is NOT acceptable...it will continue. So I will continue to fight for the rights of the survivors and am constantly on the lookout for more resources...
So will send you what I know about sources for men whenever I run across them...keep up the good work
AngelRose