Bi Prejudices

[cand86]

I know that I, and many others, have often voiced our disapproval/disgust with the various people who jump on the whole trendy 'bisexual bandwagon'- girls making out with each other to get guys' attention in bars, the whole "LUG" ("Lesbian-until-graduation") phenomenon, and people who seem to discredit our quote-unquote "serious" bisexuality.

Does anyone find this more than a little prejudiced? I've often pointed out these same facts myself, but I read this little piece that kind of made me think about things a second time:

http://boinkology.com/2008/09/05/girls-who-like-boys-and-like-girls-but-only-sometimes/

Any thoughts?

[FalconAngel]

The same people that discredit Bisexuality as "trendy" or any of the things that they call us have no clue about sexuality.

Sure, there are people that are secure in their sexuality that are not Bi, have no clue about sexuality as a whole.

Those people I discount as ignorant. They are under informed or disinformed about sex and sexuality and need to be straightened out. When I meet one, I make sure that they are made painfully aware of the gaping holes in their knowledge base about Bisexuals.

Nine times out of ten, their arguments and statements in support of their point end up being their downfall.

[Bluebiyou]

Or,
coming from my perspective that all people are (bi)sexual, but most tend to polarize (straight or gay)...
In rejecting 'ambiguous' feelings/urges, most folks adopt an all or nothing at all definition (you're attracted to males or females). Thus in making their own definitions simpler for themselves, they project this definition on others.
Those who can't live with ambiguity create labels, rules, and roles.

:)

[Bluebiyou]

Plus as far as 'LUG'...
I still maintain that, in general, women are much more naturally accepting/understanding of sexual ambiguity (within and outside themselves) than men. (note 1)
I think women can move easier from completely gay relationship(s) to completely straight relationship(s), vice versa, and all points in between.

That's why you probably won't see an equally proportionate percentage of males that are 'GUG', (Gay Until Graduation).


Note 1:
Plus, one must remember that women are more empathetic by nature - remember 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'? Remember the 'point-of-view' gun? "It won't work on me, I'm already a woman".

[darkeyes]

No one should make any fuss as far as I can see. We all used and use our sexuality however we saw fit to make a catch.. I know I did and not so long ago either. There is no difference to using an "interest" in a girl to catch a boy as there is to feign interest in a boy to catch the real prey by making him (or her) green with envy except being interested in girls can be much more effective for landing lads..

We all use our wiles as best we can and nowadays we have so much more in our armoury.. its not immoral or hypocritical or anything else.. it just is a tool..maybe not the nicest of tools but then in love, romance and sex so many arent. All's fair as they say and I think thats probably true so long as the prey is unnattached... although some attachments themselves are sufficiently loose for us to be able to make our move and have our fun.

It is easier for us than guys and thats a pity for them.. time should sort that out but until then LUG or GUG or anything else, just consider it as part of growing up and we shouldn't condemn people for doing what I know I did. Who knows, their eyes may be opened to the real world and that can only be of benefit to us and our wish for greater understanding in the longer term.

[FalconAngel]

Hey Blu,
Except for the idiot part (You are not an idiot), I agree with Takeme. Not everyone is Bi.......more's the pity.

My wife is completely straight. Absolutely no interest of any kind in the same sex.

Life would likely be easier if everyone were Bi, but they aren't.

But I am reminded of the Lyrics of a Beach Boys song; "Wouldn't it be nice......"

[darkeyes]

I actually dont think being born bi being the natural sexual way of things is so far fetched.. so many things are learned and it is quite possible that the fact that most of us are what you could call str8 is down to learning just like so many other things. Historically being non str8 has had such a rough deal and bad press that its supression began somewhere in the ancient past.. many societies lived with it quite happily in the ancient world.. Greeks, Egyptian and Roman too to a great extent, many in the far east.. the advent of Christianity and Islam had much to do with its supression but not only them.. farther back too..like so many things, powerful men used them as a tool to achieve and retain power.. find a few scapegoats.. and a little bit of persecution goes a long way to securing power and holding on to it..

However while I think thats true to a great extent, I think I have come down to the conclusion that we are all just who we are..some of us are str8, some gay, some bi, some whatever else... like the variations in colour of skin, hair colour or texture, or our eyes, like the way our teeth look or our legs are shaped, how long our fingers are, like some of us are nice and some less so, and some have a sense of humour and others are miserable sods, we are all different and have many different personalities and characteristics.. some are learned, some unlearned, but deep down we all have a baseline nature which is as different between each of us as chalk is from cheese... and sexuality is just one small facet of that nature...

[TaylorMade]

It's two fold for me. Society has accepted us, but not fully on our own terms.

Take for example the "I kissed a girl" song by Katy Perry. One of my coworkers heard it and said, "That's your song, right?"

I said - -NO , and pointed out this verse...


No, I don't even know your name
It doesn't matter,
You're my experimental game
Just human nature,

Have you ever heard such dehumanizing lyrics? It reduces bisexual women to objects, "games" for some chicks titillation. She's like. . ."Wow, never thought of it like that."

And bisexual guys- - do you feel more accepted? We're not that accepted yet. It's selective acceptance.

*Taylor*

[Bluebiyou]

Well, yes and no, Taylor.
the lyrics open a small door for some folks who simply don't understand, can't relate, and make it safe (to relate) by what you correctly label 'dehumanizing' rationalization (lyrics).

A similar move was made by white usa society in 20th century by presenting wonderfully funny (yet clearly harmless) black comedians. This was a push by socially minded people to try to crack open the door of acceptance.

Was it demeaning and dehumanizing? Hell yeah!

On the other hand, take a moment to think about this, acceptance of black as 'fully human' (equal rights movement of the 1950s, 60s, and 70s) by the white majority; and eventual acceptance as neighbors (fully equal - 80s, 90s, 2000s) would have taken twice as long (if ever) without these media efforts.
As unpleasant as the reality of prejudice and preconception is... there is a way to overcome... gently crack the egg first and allow slow but eventual permeation. (I'm getting hot it sounds like I'm talking about sex!).
Gay and lesbian is becoming commonplace and accepted.
At first we had to have the gay comics sporadically (for decades) appearing in movies and TV, then regulars... uh, Will & Grace? Hello? 10 years (or so) now.
Ellen Degeneres is only a decade into her showing that lesbians are fully human too.
These are social movements.

But Taylor....
Besides being intelligent...
You are beautiful and hot.
If ever I'm single again... and you have a weak moment for heterosexuality and old white guys in their 40s...
:)
Let me know! Make some of my dreams come true!
I luv ya darlin'... respect is there, with or without action or word on your part, as love is ... is... well... the only valid meaning of life.

[Sexual_soujourner]

here in the north east the Gay and Lesbian community is out there and well recived in the public for the most. However; my contact has been that a majority of that community and I think this bodes well for the public as well. have stated to me Bi folks are just gay prople that have not either admitted it to themself, or are confused.
I disagree and think that one can be happy and in some cases in love or a loving relationship man or women. I see now groups that are inclusive of Bi Lez, gay and transgender. I see that as at least a start. :three:

[darkeyes]

In principle, society has accepted us.. in the whats called the west at least, grudgingly in many quarters.. and among some, not at all, but in general we have made so much progress in gaining the respect and acceptance of our respective societies.. other parts of the world is often a different story.. but taking that acceptance as read..of course we are not accepted entirely on our own terms.. and doubt if we will be for a long, long time to come.. in our lifetimes at least I reckon the best we can hope for is acceptance on the same terms as str8 people and get true equality in all things with them.. and I am not convinced we will get that without there remaining a true and strong dinosaur element among those with whom we strive for equal status and acceptance.. we may get acceptance and equality but we will still face prejudice from many quarters.. even straights have limitations on them either because of the demands of society itself, its political overlords, or for religious or reasons of ideology.. in any society we all have to make some sacrifice of our "terms" for many and varied reasons.. I think that will always be so...

... and sure women's bisexuality and homosexuality is accepted more easily by society..that cant be denied.. I suspect as much because the world still remains more a man's world than anything else, with male machismo demanding it still, and their fantasies about women making it easier for them to accept women doing their own thing in the sexual sense in the hope that they may just get the opportunity to participate..

Turning to Kate Perry, I neither find the words of the song offensive or demeaning at least not in the way you may find it. It reflects the thoughts of many young women, men too who find the adventure of life a game, and who experiment with all sorts of wonderful and exciting things. Up till recently it was a game to me.. and had been since I first experimented and began to become active in anything resembling a sexual manner except for a few years when I gave it all up for marriage.. so I do not find it insulting dehumanising or anything like it.. if there is an insult there it is because it is someone who has no understanding of the non str8 world writing and profitting about something she knows nothing about and yet many women are just like her. Not only young women either. It reflects the world as many in it sees things..to a great extent..it also reflects reality.. not for everyone..but for some..perhaps even the majority.. what i do find offensive is Kate Perry's music per se..which I think is appalling


Sometimes we are just a little too touchy...

[Bluebiyou]

Fran...
If we ever met in person we'd probably hate each other...
but... as it is... as much as I'm in favor of burying my body and you're (as an European) likely to favor cremation...
...if we never meet
let me know where some of your ashes will be...
I'll have a leg chopped off (and perhaps some other appendage!), cremated, and would be honored to have my ashes mixed with yours...
You have nothing but my respect and love, darlin'.

:)
Most sincerely,
Blue

[csrakate]

I am personally bothered by the whole concept of the female bisexual bandwagon. I find that it negates the true feelings and emotions of the true bisexual and offers instead a scenario that caters to the prurient interest of those who get off on the whole "girl on girl" scene. Young women need to come into their sexuality on their own and in their own time and not just because it is what "everyone else is doing" and certainly not because the boys "find it hot". Just my :2cents:

Kate

[darkeyes]

Mumsy I love you ever so dearly.. but why be bothered about it? Its what young people do..experiment have fun and decide what they like and dont like.. they will do things to please someone as they hope there are those who will do things to please them..some will become gay, some bisexual, but mostly they will end up believing themselves straight.. if you took bisexuality and homosexuality out of the equation altogether they would still do their thing and find out what they like and dislike.. they would follow whatever trend was in fashion at the time sexually speaking and in time make their own trends. Its what we do when young.. I did and had a ball...then we find our true self or at least struggle through life trying to find it.. girls and boys to do that and always have.. they have fun and experiment and thats part of their growing up... I did that, and know where I am but am still having a ball...

[darkeyes]

Fran...
If we ever met in person we'd probably hate each other...
but... as it is... as much as I'm in favor of burying my body and you're (as an European) likely to favor cremation...
...if we never meet
let me know where some of your ashes will be...
I'll have a leg chopped off (and perhaps some other appendage!), cremated, and would be honored to have my ashes mixed with yours...
You have nothing but my respect and love, darlin'.

:)
Most sincerely,
Blue


Awww Blue.. yas not mixin man ashes wiv mine.. go through eternity wiv man bits mixed wiv mine?? Don b soft!! But seriously hav neva thought bout wot happens 2 me husk wen the life goes outa me.. mayb shud..neva kno wen its gonna happen afta all...

An u r quite luffly an all Blue...:) ty. big muah!!

[TaylorMade]

I am personally bothered by the whole concept of the female bisexual bandwagon. I find that it negates the true feelings and emotions of the true bisexual and offers instead a scenario that caters to the prurient interest of those who get off on the whole "girl on girl" scene. Young women need to come into their sexuality on their own and in their own time and not just because it is what "everyone else is doing" and certainly not because the boys "find it hot". Just my :2cents:

Kate

That's the point I'm getting at. I see it no different than the pushy couple trying to get the bi girl to go with them for a 3some.

*Taylor*

[csrakate]

Mumsy I love you ever so dearly.. but why be bothered about it? Its what young people do..experiment have fun and decide what they like and dont like.. they will do things to please someone as they hope there are those who will do things to please them..some will become gay, some bisexual, but mostly they will end up believing themselves straight.. if you took bisexuality and homosexuality out of the equation altogether they would still do their thing and find out what they like and dislike.. they would follow whatever trend was in fashion at the time sexually speaking and in time make their own trends. Its what we do when young.. I did and had a ball...then we find our true self or at least struggle through life trying to find it.. girls and boys to do that and always have.. they have fun and experiment and thats part of their growing up... I did that, and know where I am but am still having a ball...

Sigh...out of the mouths of babes....You speak so much truth, my dear luffly tart....and thank you for pointing that out!! But it still bothers me LOL!!!! No one should ever feel compelled to do something because it is trendy, especially if it diminishes the reality of those who truly struggle with those feelings.

Hugs,
Kate

[darkeyes]

That's the point I'm getting at. I see it no different than the pushy couple trying to get the bi girl to go with them for a 3some.

*Taylor*

.. and that is wrong Taylor?? Not from where I am sitting...as long as the couple can take no for an answer and move on...

[TaylorMade]

.. and that is wrong Taylor?? Not from where I am sitting...as long as the couple can take no for an answer and move on...

Not as much wrong, but revealing how dehumanizing the search for sex and thrills can be for some people.

I'm not the evening's entertainment. But that's what people expect once they see the "Bi" label attached.

*Taylor*

[csrakate]

Let's face it...some see sex as a thrill ride while others see it as an expression of love, understanding and acceptance. It's when the two collide that there is a problem. As Taylor points out, dehumanizing the sexual experience can be very hurtful to many, especially if they find themselves the target of those who are seeking another to add to their own selfish interests without a single thought to the feelings of those involved. That is one of the reasons why I am so bothered by this whole bisexual bandwagon among young girls...just how many of them will find themselves "used" and then rejected during their journey to understand themselves? Sex is not and should not be just a game for the young. It disturbs the natural development process and thwarts any attempts of truly discovering who they are. Just my :2cents: again! LOL!

Hugs,
Kate

[darkeyes]

Not as much wrong, but revealing how dehumanizing the search for sex and thrills can be for some people.

I'm not the evening's entertainment. But that's what people expect once they see the "Bi" label attached.

*Taylor*

Can agree that sex and thrills can sometimes be dehumanising for some people.. too many.. and thats down more to the predator for want of a better description than the object of their momentary desires.. not everyone is or can be strong enough to resist unwanted advances and even then the strongest among us can be sucked into something we don't want.. however, when I went out to get laid, I expected to be the subject of the evenings entertainment as I expected my prospective prey to be.. bi label, gay label or whatever label you like, if u are sexually active then wtf cares a hoot about what people expect? You go out to have fun and fun if thats your wont u should have and not bitch about it... u fancy them u go with them ..u dont u let them down gently and if they persevere you tell them to sod off!

[Bluebiyou]

Awww Blue.. yas not mixin man ashes wiv mine.. go through eternity wiv man bits mixed wiv mine?? Don b soft!! But seriously hav neva thought bout wot happens 2 me husk wen the life goes outa me.. mayb shud..neva kno wen its gonna happen afta all...

An u r quite luffly an all Blue...:) ty. big muah!!

Now you KNOW Fran, if there is reincarnation... fer sayin' such as ya av, y'll be born again a man to be circumcised! Perhaps even another Mr. Bobbit!
LOL
But I think yer way beyond that... ;).. in a good way!

[darkeyes]

Let's face it...some see sex as a thrill ride while others see it as an expression of love, understanding and acceptance. It's when the two collide that there is a problem. As Taylor points out, dehumanizing the sexual experience can be very hurtful to many, especially if they find themselves the target of those who are seeking another to add to their own selfish interests without a single thought to the feelings of those involved. That is one of the reasons why I am so bothered by this whole bisexual bandwagon among young girls...just how many of them will find themselves "used" and then rejected during their journey to understand themselves? Sex is not and should not be just a game for the young. It disturbs the natural development process and thwarts any attempts of truly discovering who they are. Just my :2cents: again! LOL!

Hugs,
Kate..all of that Mumsy can equally be applied to whatever sexuality you care to mention.. I dont agree with you but I do see where u are coming from.. everything is a part of growing up.. we all grow up differently and expect different things from life.. I treated sex, gay and str8 and bisexual as a game and it was wonderful.. not everyone can or will do that.. just let them do what they will according to their own standards and let them enjoy growing up and learning what life has to offer...

[csrakate]

I treated sex, gay and str8 and bisexual as a game and it was wonderful..

<<covers her ears and her eyes!!!>> :eek: OMG...is it too late for me to send you to your room??? (WITHOUT Rog, of course!!!<<removes the batteries just in case you sneak him back>>) LOL!!!

[darkeyes]

<<covers her ears and her eyes!!!>> :eek: OMG...is it too late for me to send you to your room??? (WITHOUT Rog, of course!!!<<removes the batteries just in case you sneak him back>>) LOL!!!
No Rog???? eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkk:eek: No battries??? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!:(

Can me hav a sybian for chrissie pressie?? Kate sez no mumsy.. mean tart!!! Will b gud..honest...:bigrin: Well gud for me ne ways.. tee hee:tong:

[darkeyes]

No one should ever feel compelled to do something because it is trendy, especially if it diminishes the reality of those who truly struggle with those feelings.

Hugs,
KateNow that bit mumsy me thinks me can agree wiv... soz for missin it.. muah

[darkeyes]

Now you KNOW Fran, if there is reincarnation... fer sayin' such as ya av, y'll be born again a man to be circumcised! Perhaps even another Mr. Bobbit!
LOL
But I think yer way beyond that... ;).. in a good way!

If ther is reincarnaton an me cums bak as a lesser..all me can say is.. the idiot responsible is rite in the doo dah unless summat is dun bout it pdq!!!!