Wife finally asks me ....

[TheBisexualProfessor]

Whoa, what a night! Returned from a business trip to find my wonderful wife of twenty years definitely horned up and turned on. Says she's been like that for a few days now so I asked how she found relief. She's been having a blast with our sex toys and I find that hot. I wanted all the exciting details! Then she said she dug through my magazines, though she apologized for doing it. I told her that was no problem and that she should feel free to enjoy them just as much as I do.

We had great sex, but she was still hot. She started talking about my fantasies and asked if I liked sucking her nipples. "Of course, I do!" And do I like to eat her cunt? "Yes!" Do I like sucking cock? Wow, she asked! "I do," I admitted. "And my fantasy is for us to share one together, or for you to watch me pleasure another guy while encouraging me and playing with yourself." She wasn't phased by it, and we continued to play. But I wasn't sure exactly what she thought of it.

Then there was another development. I can't perform more than once without some intervening time, but I continued to pleasure her in every possible way I could imagine. After three orgasms she wanted one more she said but was having trouble getting it. She said she wanted to read one of my magazines and I told her to go for it as I continued to please her. She leaned over, opened the drawer, and dug to the bottom to pull out my copy of [2], a hot mag of male couples having sex. Obviously, she knew it was there and she went right for it.

I was so stimulated by this! But I have to ask her more about it. She was more turned on last night than ever in our many years together. It came at the same time she had discovered my gay mag and I'm thinking there is a connection. For a long time I've shared with her my bi fantasies but I'm thinking that for the first time she's really starting to deal with it AND it's making her hot.

What do some of you good folks think? I'd love to know your "take" on things.

[Sexual_soujourner]

The Closet door is now open.. Enjoy the new adventures that you two may not be embarking on.

[**Peg**]

hehe, if it didn't turn her on no way she'd have gone for THAT particular magazine... trust me. :tongue:

Peg

[texasman6172003]

A big Texas "SIGH",Some guy's have it so good...:bigrin:

[csrakate]

Well..I can definitely say you are on your way to having a totally honest relationship with your wife and many praises to her for having such an open mind. I wish I had been more open minded when I discovered that my husband was bisexual. Although he told me before we married 28 years ago, I basically pushed it aside, letting his pledge of monogamy cloud my thinking to believe that his sexuality would just "go away". Not only did I deny him the opportunity to be himself, I aided in making him feel somewhat ashamed and more likely to hide as he would peruse magazines and such. I agreed to watch gay porn with him many times, turning my head as certain scenes would come on....making him feel even more inhibited about being open with me. Now that I look back on it, I realize that I probably did so because I was afraid that I would LIKE it and that scared me.

Now that I have gained a better understanding of bisexuality and especially of my husband in that regards, things are soooo much better. I have embraced it, accepted it and now I share it in our fantasies and in our sex life. Needless to say it has opened the door to an incredible and mutually satisfying sex life for us.

I agree that you should keep the communication going with her, however...one word of caution regarding that. Choose your moments to discuss it wisely. What she may have shared in the midst of passion may differ a great deal from how she feels than, let's say, when she is folding laundry. LOL! Wait for an intimate moment, when the two of you are being close and loving. Continue to let her know how much SHE turned you on by talking about it...how much you wanted HER as a result. Also, continue to incorporate HER in your fantasies, letting her know that she has nothing to fear and in no way would being so open negate your love or desire for her. She may very well be a bit embarrassed and confused at times by how she reacted, but if you give her time and allow her to move along at her own pace, you will most likely be thrilled with the outcome. My gut instinct tells me that you should have no problem whatsoever. She sounds as if she loves you dearly and truly wants to embrace and accept YOU for who and what you are.

My best to the two of you! Something tells me that the two of you are well on your way to a new and exciting journey together!

Hugs,
Kate

[12voltman59]

Congrats man---ya'all have fun now'-----yah heah???

[biguymass]

I wish my wife would feel the same way......:(

Whether it be another male or female (or both for that matter), I just have the urge for a 3 or 4 some, but she thinks it should only be the 2 of us and will not budge on it. I would only want equal participation between all involved.

I love & respect her, so I would never go out on my own behind her back.

So, here I am only being able to fantasize about it.

[FalconAngel]

You are one lucky SOB!!

My wife loves me and enjoys when we play with a friend, but she doesn't get all horned up like you described.....not even close. Wish she did, it would be even more fun if she did.

[TheBisexualProfessor]

Sadly, dear hearts, things have not been as imagined. I cannot understerstand why, but she says she cannot live with the situation! Goodness, it certainly turned her on last night! Now she even says a coworker with whom I have had contact picked up on my bisexuality. Will keep you posted.
John

[csrakate]

OMG John...I certainly didn't see that coming....and I know you are probably more confused than ever at this point. I really thought it sounded as though she had come to terms with it and I am so sorry that she gave you such a mixed message!

Good luck to you...and I wish you the best!

Hugs,
Kate

[TheBisexualProfessor]

Thank you, Kate, and all those who've expressed support! We'll see where things go from here. The one thing that baffles me most in all this is the comment she made about the male coworker who picked up on my bisexuality and was made uncomfortable by it. I have been so circumspect that I just don't know where that came from. But I've allowed it to be a symbol of who I am, and it just goes to show that we can't be something we aren't.

[csrakate]

Thank you, Kate, and all those who've expressed support! We'll see where things go from here. The one thing that baffles me most in all this is the comment she made about the male coworker who picked up on my bisexuality and was made uncomfortable by it. I have been so circumspect that I just don't know where that came from. But I've allowed it to be a symbol of who I am, and it just goes to show that we can't be something we aren't.

Does your wife know for a fact that this coworker has indeed picked up on your sexuality, or is this just something that she is perceiving as the case? Regardless, I am sure her fear of disclosure into her personal life may have frightened her somewhat and returned her to her original fears and anxieties. I refuse to believe that she could respond so strongly one night and then recoil the next day. Give her time, continue to talk to her and more importantly, allow her some time to adjust and proceed at her own pace. Rushing something like this is never a good idea, especially if you desire to bring a third person into the mix. Perhaps you should slow down a bit and let her know that for now, sharing fantasies with her is all you need. It seems quite possible that the reality of this situation may very well be pushing her back a few steps. Remember, fantasies are wonderful and quite satisfying when mutually agreed upon, but reality doesn't always measure up nor is it the required goal. At least not for her...not now.

Hugs,
Kate

[allbimyself]

Sounds to me like she let herself go, but that frightened her (as it does many people).

[csrakate]

Sounds to me like she let herself go, but that frightened her (as it does many people).

So very true, allbi!! I can't tell you how many times I did the very same thing...avoiding any discussion of it the next day and feeling a bit shaken as to how I had indeed "let go"....but as I said above, given time and patience, this is also something that can be overcome....but sadly, that is not always the case.

[Iowabiguy]

Along time ago before I was married in 1990 I told my wife I was bisexual. For her it was a turn-on. I was just in the beginning processes of understanding what it meant for me but I felt I needed to be honest with her. For her it was an opportunity to explore her own sexual desires and fantasies with me. For a variety of reasons I froze up and did not respond the way she wanted me to. For example, she automatically assumed that I wanted to have her perform anal sex with me. I was afraid and that in turn turned her away. My fears in my early coming out and subsequent re-closeting and her response to my fears were very hurtful to our relationship. It ended after 13 years and now I can finally be out of the closet and real.
The initial fantasy of being with me as a bisexual turned my fiance then wife on as it did your wife. Right now you need to be true to who you are and give her all the love and support she needs. I was afraid and let my fear run my life and my ex-wife made the issue all about her and her sexual needs. It got really crazy.
Give your wife the time to process and BE THERE for her and listen to her fears. Comfort, love and support. Empress upon her that you really love her no matter what. It's all she really wants to know.

[bisocialnudist]

John, Kate and the others have already provided great insight. I came out to my wife as bi for the second time March of 2007 the first was just before we were married 27 years ago. I would love to see my wife get to where Kate is but over the last year and a half she has shown she is clearly progressing towards that understanding. (Thanks for writing about is so clearly Kate )

My point is that as each new point of progress is made in our journey together there needs to be a period of assessment and then hopefully assimilation. Sort of a how did it go? and is this something I want to keep.

I often see this one step forward two back with my wife after we try something new or discuss another aspect of my bisexuality but so far we always move forward again.

In your case your wife took quite a leap and I can kind of see a stepping back before moving forward again. Even for me sometimes what I want to do and what Im ready to do are two different things .

I hope this turns out well for you and that a new and better understanding is in your future. Communication and time should both help,


Mark

[Iowabiguy]

[QUOTE=creativebi;
Even for me sometimes what I want to do and what Im ready to do are two different things .

You spoke right to the heart of what my issue was in my marriage. Now I believe that I am more able to try and do different things with my current relationship with my secondary girlfriend.
All of you are so supportive that it really makes me ashamed sometimes of my tentativeness but I realize that life is a process and that we all must go at our own pace; whatever that pace may be.

[open2both]

She's a KEEPER!
Go baby, GO!

[TheBisexualProfessor]

Well, after the night I described of much pain, my wife and I had to spend a couple hours together in the car. We talked a great deal and she asked me tons of intimate questions. Seems she misunderstood our previous conversation as if I was saying I want out of our marriage. I was as patient and open as I could be to all her probing questions.

She has known for years about a couple of my bi experiences, but now she wanted more. Details. Lots of 'em. She asked how far I'd go with a guy if I had the chance. I said there were no limits if it was about pleasure and sharing our bodies and if she agreed it was ok. I also told her my greatest hope is a threesome where she and I and another guy could be ourselves in bed, touching, exploring, playing ... as long as it was pleasurable and acceptable to us all. I told her even about visiting a dance club with nude dancers.

She listened. She asked questions. We talked. And then she said the one thing I thought I'd never hear and she talked in detail about how she was very wet and turned on thinking about me sucking another guy. I thought I had heard wrongly ... but then we spent the whole weekend like we were on a sexual playground. It was like being two horny teens again and she couldn't get enough.

The advice offered her has been right on target, and patient, and encouraging. Thank you. As Kate said, I think we've started a new and fun-filled journey together in our sexuality.

[texasman6172003]

Gawd some guy's have it soooooooooo good!!!!! SIGHS!. But really man Congrat's on your situation... Try not too mess it up Buddy,you have a good thing there,:)....

[csrakate]

So glad the two of you were able to talk things through. I hope things continue to go well for you!

Hugs,
Kate

[Curious.Cats]

I can totally relate to the flood of emotions. Been with my man for 16 years. Have known about his desires since before marriage (he's also a cd). There have been many times I push it aside like it's not there, but then there are others I just can't get enough. We've both had some bi experiences in the past. More than my being with another woman, I want him and another man. We've actually met some one, but just have not made it happen yet. I'm actually more excited about it than he is. I soak myself every time I think about it. He's never pushed too hard for any of it as it's some thing that he still struggles with.

Be honest ALWAYS and keep that communication going. You'll have way more good days than bad days. ;)

[terri]

i recently expressed my hidden desire for sucking cock to my wife of ten years. she was verrry receptive to the idea and has devoted muck effort to finding me a playmate.i only hpoe that it comes close to my fanticies

[FalconAngel]

Let the games begin.

[hotforit69]

awesome turn of events, glad it turned out for the better for the two of you, Now I hope that I am just as fortunate as you are. My wife tried for quite awhile to get me to give up my ass to her,So I finaly gave it up to her and damn what a full I was for holding out for so long,well that made me wonder what a real throbbing cock would feel and taste like. so I have been very very curious about it, Well just like you my wife and I have started talking about exploring these new desires. she came to say that it is such a hot wild turn on for her just thinking about seeing me with another man and that she has had these thoughts for awhile and of course you can imagine what a hot turn-on it was for me to hear my wife say this to me. so now I guess the next step is up to me, so please everyone I am open for any and all advice on making this happen for my wife and I.;):tongue: