Liberating my wife's bi side!

[TheBisexualProfessor]

Hi Friends,

Would love your opinions and suggestions on this one. A couple of months ago I came out to my wonderful bride of twenty years and told her the full story of my bisexuality. Since that time, when I ask, she has steadfastly maintained her straight orientation. But twice she has mentioned either a brief fantasy or admitted that only a woman knows exactly how a woman likes to be pleased (as I've often maintained regarding men giving one another pleasure).

How do I encourage her to allow herself the "room" to experiment if that's what she wants? I'm delightfully happy to do so!

:)

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Communication Darlin. And keep on communicating. Ask her to divulge a fantasy while lieing quietly in bed. Tell her to close her eyes and let any inner thoughts flow out smoothly, and seductively.
Seduce the mind and the body will follow eventually. Then talk to her again about the possibility of veiwing some DVD's on bisexual pleasures and see where it goes from there.
But Keep onen all of the lines of communication :}
Good Luck Sugar :}
Cat

[DiamondDog]

If she really is bi/non-heterosexual she'll come out on her own.

Just be supportive and there for her as there's nothing more you can do since this is something that she has to do herself and alone.

Some men find the idea/reality of seeing 2 women having sex to be hot but it doesn't do anything sexual at all for me, and I'm not sure why lots of men seem to act like it's the best thing ever?

There's always the chance that she'll have sex with a woman and not enjoy it.

Anyway just be supportive and give her space.

[Canticle]

Communication Darlin. And keep on communicating. Ask her to divulge a fantasy while lieing quietly in bed. Tell her to close her eyes and let any inner thoughts flow out smoothly, and seductively.
Seduce the mind and the body will follow eventually. Then talk to her again about the possibility of veiwing some DVD's on bisexual pleasures and see where it goes from there.
But Keep onen all of the lines of communication :}
Good Luck Sugar :}
Cat

I really cannot believe this post...''seduce the mind and the body will follow eventually''....!!!!! That sounds a bit like brainwashing or trying to deliberately ''turn'' someone!!

Heterosexual people think about many things. It doesn't mean that they want to do them!! In fact if any heterosexual had NEVER used their brain, and wondered what same sex sexual contact was like, it would be most odd indeed.

One may wonder what it would be like to do a parachute jump, be a deep sea diver, shoot the rapids, have a multiple birth etc etc...but it doesn't mean one wants to experience those things.

[fairbankswingers]

I really cannot believe this post...''seduce the mind and the body will follow eventually''....!!!!! That sounds a bit like brainwashing or trying to deliberately ''turn'' someone!!

Heterosexual people think about many things. It doesn't mean that they want to do them!! In fact if any heterosexual had NEVER used their brain, and wondered what same sex sexual contact was like, it would be most odd indeed.

One may wonder what it would be like to do a parachute jump, be a deep sea diver, shoot the rapids, have a multiple birth etc etc...but it doesn't mean one wants to experience those things.

we both agree 100% with this...you CANNOT MAKE SOMEONE BISEXUAL...just as you cannot make a person who is Gay St8 or str8 gay...it just does not happen...just because she has those fantasies, and it will probability be the last time she shares those with you if you try and push her to try it saying "well you said" trust us - leave her be..

[still_shy]

Whoa guys, I don't think Cat was trying to convince him to "brainwash" his wife. What I took from her post was that she was telling the busband to allow his wife to relax completely and enable her to vocalize any desires and fantasies she may or may not have. The wife needs to feel as comfortable as possible if she's going to open up about what she feels, I believe the husband already said he believes his wife has some interest in women or he wouldn't have brought this subject to the table. Just my :2cents:

[Canticle]

Whoa guys, I don't think Cat was trying to convince him to "brainwash" his wife. What I took from her post was that she was telling the busband to allow his wife to relax completely and enable her to vocalize any desires and fantasies she may or may not have. The wife needs to feel as comfortable as possible if she's going to open up about what she feels, I believe the husband already said he believes his wife has some interest in women or he wouldn't have brought this subject to the table. Just my :2cents:

Who said Cat was. It was how the post came over, that is all. A few fantasies don't make someone belong to any form of sexuality. Fantasy is thought, imagination, daydreams. Without fantasy we would have no fairy stories, no great novels, no poetry. The husband, in this case, may well have been thinking a little too enthusiastically when his wife spoke of the odd fantasy. We all think. We all imagine. It does not mean we wish to do things for real. I wonder if the husband has thought that maybe his wife, is thinking that what he told her, were jst the same thoughts that will go through the mind of any heterosexual, at some time or another. Does the wife understand what her husband was trying to tell her?

[mr.s & mrs.s]

I say don't push the issue as a person who just recently came out to my wife myself i know it can be a very difficult step and the more you push the issue the more closed up she may become. The only thing you can do is be supportive if it is more than just fantasies she will let you know in her own time until then you just have to be patient and wait.

[TheBisexualProfessor]

Howdy, ya'll! Overall, I think we're all on the same page. Sexual identity is a complicated thing and one is what one is! There's no converting someone or forcing them into something that isn't real for them. I just want my darling to feel totally free to fantasize, share fantasies, or even have an experience if she deems it to be something she wants. The dirty old man in me just wants to watch as she enjoys it! She recently shared a fantasy after making love to me. I asked what she was thinking as she was on top of me, and she imagined a lesbian friend of ours to be on the bottom while riding a strapon that our friend was wearing. Pretty hot! Maybe imagination is all it will be but I want my bride to feel comfortable with those fantasies or more ... I think she knows I'm accepting of them!

[lookin2tryit]

while i dont think its "brainwashing" to "seduce the mind", making her "comfortable" with his obvious acceptance of the "way" may make it easier for her if she wants to go that way. pushing the wife too hard too soon maybe construed as trying to justify his bi leanings by pushing her into it prematurely . only he has the best read on her wants and needs.

[Canticle]

while i dont think its "brainwashing" to "seduce the mind", making her "comfortable" with his obvious acceptance of the "way" may make it easier for her if she wants to go that way. pushing the wife too hard too soon maybe construed as trying to justify his bi leanings by pushing her into it prematurely . only he has the best read on her wants and needs.

''only he has the best read on her wants and needs''

No, not so! Only the lady can know what her wants and needs are. Only she can understand what truly goes on inside her head. So what if she does have a few fantasies. It doesn't make her bisexual and the professor isn't going to be able to make her become so.

Has it not crossed his mind, that her fantasies, may be very deliberate ones, because of her confusion, since being told, by her husband, that he was bisexual. It could even be her very desperate way of holding on to him and pleasing him. To find out something about a life partner, something you did not have any inkling of, after so many years, must be devastating, leading to much confusion.

It's not a case of...''OK, that's cool, I accept it.''

[donnydarko]

well since ure bi she will know that she could expriment for her own sake, outta of her own curiosity, and not because ure using the situation to sneakily force a mff threesome on her. all u gotta do is talk to her, and let her know that u r okay with her experimenting as long as u know with who.