A baby update

[bigirl_inwv]

I've been getting many PM's lately asking about myself and that baby. It's hard to explain this to everyone multiple times...so I figured I'd just write a thread about it and direct everyone here.

Yesterday I received a call from my doctor's office telling me that my AFP test had come back abnormal. That is the test they use to determine the chances of the baby having Down Syndrome. They essentially use a ratio...1 out of X amount of children with these results have Downs. Anything 1:300 and above is considered normal. Mine came back at 1:261.

I essentially had two options. I could do a level II ultrasound or have amniocentesis. During the ultrasound they would look for any physical markers which are common to Down Syndrome children. The chance of them not finding anything and the baby still having Down's is 5%. If they did (or didn't) find anything, the only thing they can do is increase or decrease my ratio. They still wouldn't be able to tell me 100% whether the baby did or did not have Down's. With the amnio, they take a spinal needle, insert through my abdominal wall and uterus and draw out amniotic fluid. They test the baby's chromosomes and within 2 weeks can tell me 100% if the baby has Downs or not. But from what I hear, the procedure is pretty painful and it also carries about a 1 in300 risk for miscarriage.

I decided just to do the ultrasound...and then if anything showed up we could move on to the amnio.

While my risk is low, and my doctor doesn't seem to be excessively worried about it...I'm kind of in a state of shock right now. I don't know what to do. I don't know that....even if the ultrasound DOESN'T show anything....I'll be satisfied with those results. I want to know 100%. If for no other reason than just to prepare myself. While, yes, having children is a lifetime commitment....having a special needs child is even more so. Can I even do it? Am I strong enough to deal with something like that? I don't know. I don't know. I've got a lot of emotions running through me right now....guilt, confusion, hurt, resentment....I know that it's still early for a lot of this. My baby could be perfectly fine. But it's the chance that he's not that I can't get out of my head.

My ultrasound is Thursday...so I guess I'll post then and let you guys know whats up.

[needtobe1981]

You don't know me and I don't know you. But I would like to say you are in my thoughts. But keep in mind that there are so many false negatives with the downs test. My wife opted not to take any of the test offered during all 5 of her pregnancies, because of the results accuracy. But I would also like to say that my uncle who just celebrated his 60 birthday is living with downs and just as normal as you or I. He still lives at home because although he is higher functioning he can't perform all tasks by him self. Good luck to you

[MarieDelta]

Hey Laken,


I hope your baby turns out to be just fine. I'll be sending good thoughts your way. Best wishes for you and your baby.

hugs N stuff,

Marie

[PearlGirl]

Laken,

My thoughts are with you. Take good care of yourself you deserve it.

[onewhocares]

Laken,

I know all to well the anxiety of waiting to take such a test or even still waiting for the results. I found myself in a similar issue. When I was pregnant nearly fifteen years ago I had a gallbladder attack. During a routine ultrasound I "conned" them into seeing if they could determine the sex of the baby ( a previous scan could not as the baby moved around too much). It was then that they discovered that she had cysts on her chromosomes. I was in my 26 th week and choices were limited. Like you, no other markers showed any other risks so we were sent to a specialist and they said with all the background and the frequency with which they see this issue, we were not to worry that it would disappear in six weeks. Six weeks of stress and worry. Like yours I am sure yours will be a healthy baby. Just try and take one day at a time. My thoughts are with you dear Laken.

Belle

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Just believe in you, and all that you do, Sweet Baby, and you and the little one will be fine. Dr's dont know everything and Mother Nature has a way of taking care of things.
Dont worry so much until you need to. Safe your strength and resourses until you have a valid need for them. In other words; you cant do yourself, or that little baby any good if your all worked up and are a nervous wreak.
Relax Babydoll. All will be fine.
Big hugs to you..
Cat.. :}

[csrakate]

Laken,
My thoughts and prayers will be with you as you wait this situation out.

Hugs,
Kate

[45&424u]

Good luck with this and hope it works out for you.

[BumbleB]

Hell that sucks.

This is the wisest advice anyone can give you. Don't focus on whether the baby has anything special with it.

Go rent some funny movies, go buy some chocolate, go eat your favorite thing. Settle down and hang out with people you love and have the best time of your life because this timing is so important under stress. Don't worry your baby with these things go make your baby smile.

Prayers never really work unless you word them right if you keep praying "please let my baby not have anything wrong with it" there's a good chance something will be wrong. Instead say "My baby is beautiful and happy" (or something along those words)

IF THIS helps at all in my religion there is a debate going on that down syndrome babies and the like are on their very last life until they reach their nirvana. If anything you have inside you is like this, you are holding someone who is under a very precious life!

Make yourself and your baby happy until you know the real facts.

[curiouslibidos]

Let me start by congratulating both you and your husband on the new baby. I'm sure many of our thoughts will be with you tomorrow and we wish you all the best. I've always taken great comfort in the belief that everything happens for a reason. You seem like a mature person with a supportive husband which will go a long way in preparing for and dealing with any outcome. Lastly I'll offer the 17 years of experience our son has given us should you or your husband wish it.

[rissababynta]

I hope everything works out for you. Try to not focus so much on the bad and focus on the fact that you are having a new baby that you are going to love either way :-)

[Doggie_Wood]

Hi Laken

My best thoughts are with you and f or you and the baby. Positive vibes coming your way.

We love you!

:doggie: Doggie

[nocinderella]

Laken,

*hugs*

i don't really know what to say, but that i hope that no matter what the results are, you take wonderful care of the baby. (and make sure to post a pic :D)

hugs and kisses,
Cindy

[DubTak]

Not that you'll need it, but if you ever need a second opinion for anything OB/GYN related, my mom is a respected Gynecologist in the Bay Area, CA. You can PM me anytime and I'll get the question to her ASAP. She'll either answer it right away or, since she no longer does obstetrics and is mainly a Menopause/Hormone Replacement/Osteoperosis expert, she'll forward the message to one of her colleagues. Again, odds are you will never have a scenario where you need to take me up on that, but I figured I'd extend the offer.

That being said, being the son of a gynecologist (not to mention being someone who has worked in said gynecologists office) I have observed that the vast majority of tests for abnormalities (natal or otherwise) come up negative. There is a very large amount of prenatal screening these days and it tends to scare the bejeebus out of people, but for the most part OBs are attempting to not be surprised by anything. Consider it a blessing that you live in an age where a doctor will be sure to do extra screening for an infinitesimal variance below normal.

I leave you with words of wisdom bestowed upon me by the late Douglas Adams: "Don't Panic"

-DubTak:flag3:

[Laken]

First I just want to say thanks to everyone for their kind words of encouragement! They really helped more than any of you know.

Had the ultrasound today. As far as they could tell...there is nothing physically wrong with the baby. The couldn't really see the nuchal fold, which is the big thing for Down Syndrome babies. I have to wait until my next appointment to talk to my doctor. I would kind of like to do another ultrasound just to be sure about the nuchal fold measurements...but if I can't then it's no big deal. They didn't see anything else, so I don't see any reason for me to worry about it. If something is wrong then something is wrong. There's nothing I can do to fix it.

We tried to figure out the sex of the baby the whole time I was in there...but it was NOT cooperating. The crazy little thing was on its head, curled up in a ball with its legs crossed. It kept moving...but never in the way we needed it to. lol. So finally I had to lay on my side while she poked and prodded at the baby to get it moving. lol. But it worked!!! Peg, if you're reading....stop reading now!!!!



















IT'S A BOY!!!! YAAAAYYY!!!!!!

[csrakate]

SPOILER ALERT!! Don't read this, Peg!!! LOL!!

Congrats Laken!! So happy to hear your news about your baby boy!! I was a bit shocked to hear it was a male considering he was being so modest in the ultrasound!! Sounds as though things are progressing just fine...and I hope you're able to relax a bit now and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. It's such a wonderful time and before you know it, you'll be holding that baby in your arms!

Hugs,
Kate

[still_shy]

Congrats Laken!! I'm so very happy for you!

[onewhocares]

Laken I am so relieved for you. Even though it is hard not to worry...I know you did. Wishing you the best on your little man.

Belle

[alegrias]

congratulations!!!!!!!

[**Peg**]

:eek: too late *sniffles*

oh Laken!!!

.. hon last night in chat I had NO idea you were going through this ... so first, let me apologize to you. I would have been MORE than happy to have held ur hand.

in my own Irish way I heap blessings upon your lil boy's head :male: I'm thrilled for you.

now: no more stressing out! those nasty stress hormones are passed right to the baby so unwind ur mind lovey and try your best to relax (how much longer?).

>gentle hug<

Peg

[Laken]

:eek: too late *sniffles*

oh Laken!!!

.. hon last night in chat I had NO idea you were going through this ... so first, let me apologize to you. I would have been MORE than happy to have held ur hand.

in my own Irish way I heap blessings upon your lil boy's head :male: I'm thrilled for you.

now: no more stressing out! those nasty stress hormones are passed right to the baby so unwind ur mind lovey and try your best to relax (how much longer?).

>gentle hug<

Peg

It's quite alright. I didn't really want to "talk" about it...just wanted everyone here to be aware. As hard as it is to believe...I'm really not stressing out now. I was the first few days. But like I said before, if there is something wrong, there is nothing I can do to fix it. I've been reading a lot of forums for women who have Down Syndrome children...and it has honestly put my mind at ease. I no longer feel like it's something that I won't be able to deal with. Granted, I understand that it's not a bed of roses...but really, is raising any child?

[csrakate]

It's quite alright. I didn't really want to "talk" about it...just wanted everyone here to be aware. As hard as it is to believe...I'm really not stressing out now. I was the first few days. But like I said before, if there is something wrong, there is nothing I can do to fix it. I've been reading a lot of forums for women who have Down Syndrome children...and it has honestly put my mind at ease. I no longer feel like it's something that I won't be able to deal with. Granted, I understand that it's not a bed of roses...but really, is raising any child?

You are going to make such a wonderful mother, Laken!!!!

[onewhocares]

You are going to make such a wonderful mother, Laken!!!!

I could not have said it better myself Kate!

Belle

[Laken]

:bigrin:

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f274/xoLakenox/P1100129.jpg

[csrakate]

Look at you, little momma!!! You look great!!

Hugs,
Kate

[onewhocares]

HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE LAKEN.

[Lonewolf76]

Laken,
Just read these threads. Whew! Glad everything turned out great for you, your husband and especially that new son! May the universe shine its divine light and wisdom through all of his life! Blessings! LW

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Laken-Honey. My younger sister has Downs, and my Mom didnt treat her any different than the rest of us kids, and she turned out just fine. She is 47 now and works in a Salvation Army thrift store, and takes her job Very seriously. :}
Keep your chin up, Darlin. All will be fine. This baby will steal your heart the minute you look at that little face. :}
Hugs to you, Sweetie
Cat.

[Laken]

Haven't given you guys an update in awhile! Things are going very well. My pregnancy has been really, really easy. So far, no complications of any kind and everything seems perfectly normal. (*knock on wood*) 33 weeks down..only 7ish more to go!

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f274/xoLakenox/31weeks.jpg

[Georgie_Girl]

Good luck! :)

[MarieDelta]

Glad to hear from you honey. You are looking great :)

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Whoo Hoo! very cool Laken! You GO Girl. :} Give the baby a rub from a crazy old half-indian chick up in Wa State..lol
Cat

[codybear3]

I have burned white sage and sent a prayer to the Great Spirit to send you and your baby strong medicine... :paw::paw:

[onewhocares]

Beautiful Bellie....Beautiful Baby

[Laken]

So no baby as of yet...but just thought I'd let you guys know that if he doesn't come on his own I'm being induced June 1st!! That's less than two weeks away!!! aaaggghhh!!!!

[**Peg**]

awwwwww Laken !~ cute lil belly.

I was hoping for June 8th .. YES ! I actually put your duedate +bday on my calendar.

blessings on both your little heads honey

Peg

[misty-lee]

While, yes, having children is a lifetime commitment....having a special needs child is even more so. Can I even do it? Am I strong enough to deal with something like that? I don't know. I don't know.


of corse you can do it just hold you're head up high and do the best you can for you're child too be try and block out the d.s stuff atm and keep you self less stressed for your self and for you're baby
and good luck

[littlerayofsunshine]

Laken,

I am So sorry that you have had this stress surrounding your pregnancy. I truly pray for the best for you both. You sound like you have a handle on it all. Keep your head up, you'll be a great mom no matter what.

Btw, you look so great preggers!

Hugs,
Michelle

[Laken]

Sooooo...can I just say that I'm soooo effin' nervous right now! I'd been okay all day...but these past couple hours have gone by sooooooooooooooooooo sllllllllloooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww. I go in to the hospital at midnight tonight to start my inducement meds, so hopefully we'll have the baby by dinner time tomorrow! As soon as I'm capable I'll be sure to post an update and a picture!! Thanks for all the well wishes...let's hope they come in handy!!!

[rissababynta]

Good luck dear and get plenty of sleep in the hospital. You're going to miss sleep lol.

[littlerayofsunshine]

Easy labor/delivery vibes to you hun G/L momma!

[TwylaTwobits]

Wishing the best for you and your baby, Laken (beautiful name too)

[Curious.Cats]

Wishing you the very best!

[PolyLoveTriad]

Aww what a pretty baby belly! You cant dwell on the 'what ifs'. If we did that then no one would ever leave their house. Im a true believer that we all can handle whatever life throws at us. Children are no exception, no matter what, youll be a great mother, your child will be just fine :) Im sure youre going to have a healthy baby :)

[Laken]

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f274/xoLakenox/l_51b19a5bea904d67b5840f3b187f2144.jpg

Sorry if that comes out enormous!


I can't believe it's been a month and a half already!!!!!

[rissababynta]

Oh my fuckin God soooo cute!!!!

I think someone needs to get into some cute baby contests!

I smell a winner.

[onewhocares]

A D O R A B L E.............enjoy every moment.

[littlerayofsunshine]

Awwww I just wanna squish him.... He's so freakin cute. Wtg you guys.... You made a cutie!! Look at those cheeks....

[codybear3]

Beautiful baby... May you all have a fantastic life together... :paw::paw:

[**Peg**]

ohman....he's just adorable.. and has hair too !

is he making any sounds yet?

thanks for sharing Laken :)

>>luvnhuggers to all<<

"auntie" Peg