Bisexual Couples

[anne27]

How rare are they? I got into a discussion with my hubby today about the rariety of married couples where both partners are bisexual. He and I are both bisexual. He thinks that couples like us are quite common, I think less so.
I only personally know one other bi couple.

Does anyone have any statistics thay can quote? Or would any other bi couples like to sound off about it? I stands to reason that open, freeminded people would attract each other, but how often?

[Biboz49]

We are bi and we have a couple of bi couple friends. We are openly bi just to our bi friends and they are the same. I may be wrong but I think there are a lot of couples where she readily admits to being bi but he doesn't, even though he is very curious. Guys seem pretty cautious that way to protect their "manliness" or whatever right term is, and also want to maintain anonimity. Just my :2cents:

[sinfulallure]

We are a bi sexual couple from south africa, We are both swingers and nudists, attend regular parties at a swingers club and spent some weekends with the kiddies(both teens) at a nudist resort outside Pretoria(Tswane).

We found the following, we would meet a couple and during the course of the conversation the males would "frown" upon male bi-sexuality, only to get a call a few days later asking if we would play alone with him cuase he would like to explore the m2m scene, but in front of the wife he is all macho-man.

We are open as to our sexuality and really enjoy the openness and freedom our sexual orientation affords us..

T&M

[yaknowthatguy]

Bummer for me, we're not bi. I am (the 'he'), but my wife is mostly straight. Thankfully she's very supportive, even promoting of my bisexuality. I am a lucky guy in this respect!

I think it's probably a fairly rare occurrence - at least openly. Some couples take years before one person comes out to the other, so I don't think they count (in the sense that they're not open and honest with each other).

[Raine]

I think bi-couples are more common that we might think. There is a huge amount of prejudice against bi-sexuality, as we know, and by and large most people and couples keep their sexual activities private. Sex and sexuality is not normally a topic for discussion is it? I bet if it was, we'd find a LOT of bi-sexual or bi-curious couples.

If we included those couples who wold experiment given the right partners, there'd be TONS of couples.

:flag2:

[Lorcan]

We're Bi!

I don't know how often it occurs, but i bet if we were more open about it, it would occur a whole lot more! Currenty I like to only date bi or bi-curious people only. I dated one straight man who was open enough to be in bed with another man; that was cool.

There's a line in Torch Song Trilogy that goes "mixed marriages don't work". I sure that not true, but it doesn't help with understanding if you're in a mixed marriage.
:flag1:

[wildboy40]

well here goes iv never done this before but both me and my other half are bi and it is great we are both open with each other and tell eachother every thing we do so we dont have to worry i know how some guys might feel it not manley to admit i didnt for along time until one night in bed i just had to say that i was bi then she said the same thing "yahoo "it was great no more hiding but i would agree there are alot more couples out there who are and if they were open and honest they would be alot happier :bipride:

[nnjbicoupleforplay]

Hello, we are a bisexual couple from northern NJ, (both of us are bi), and believe, like Raine, it is more common than people realize. We have been open with each other right from the start about our bisexuality, (maybe it was that bisexual chemistry that got us together in the first place), and we have been happy ever since.
There are more and more of us out there. Unfortunately, much of society does not accept bisexuality, so many people will keep these feelings suppressed and not be open about it.
We do not have any stats on it so we can't help you there, but this website/forum at least lets us know there are other like minded people that we can relate to and get to enjoy even more of our bisexual lifestyle. We love this website!!

:male: :female: :bipride:

Have you hugged your bi-friend today??

[OralBradley]

How rare are they? I got into a discussion with my hubby today about the rariety of married couples where both partners are bisexual. He and I are both bisexual. He thinks that couples like us are quite common, I think less so.
I only personally know one other bi couple.

Does anyone have any statistics thay can quote? Or would any other bi couples like to sound off about it? I stands to reason that open, freeminded people would attract each other, but how often?

:flag2: :male: I have no statistics to quote, but we have rarely found a couple who were both bisexual. While I self-define as a bisexual, my wife does not. On the other hand, when we went to parties, she invariably sought out a women to have sex with and obviously enjoyed it. My own feeling is that ther are many bisexual people who for one reason or another don't recognize the fact. However, perhaps not so blatantly as the violent homophobe who is queer at heart.

[binbi42]

We've been fortunate to have found and continue to find bi couples. Statistically I'd say it's rare when compared to say straight or gay couples but, this site and others of similar nature convince me that's it's more frequent than we had previously thought. :)

[CUMM2LBV]

Not sure this is as common as you may think. The so called polls are notoriously inaccurate. Guys, even under the cover of anonymity just won't admit to taking a walk on the wild side.

Years ago i dated a woman who was/is Bi, she introduced me to this aspect of sex (still don't know why I ever let her get away from me). Since that time I have dated a few women who know of my interests. Some were repulsed by the idea, some were fairly neutral, they just didn't want to get involved in that part of swinging. Needless to say, it seems near impossible to meet a single Bi woman that is interested in relationship where swinging is a component of our social life.

[Jerseyduo]

Hello, we are a bisexual couple from northern NJ, (both of us are bi), and believe, like Raine, it is more common than people realize. We have been open with each other right from the start about our bisexuality, (maybe it was that bisexual chemistry that got us together in the first place), and we have been happy ever since.
There are more and more of us out there. Unfortunately, much of society does not accept bisexuality, so many people will keep these feelings suppressed and not be open about it.
We do not have any stats on it so we can't help you there, but this website/forum at least lets us know there are other like minded people that we can relate to and get to enjoy even more of our bisexual lifestyle. We love this website!!

:male: :female: :bipride:

Have you hugged your bi-friend today??


We're also a North Jersey bi couple, and one of the frustrating things we've found is that of the few couples who say they are both bi, many seem to be far more interested in the straight part first, like that's a test of some sort. And of course, finding them is tough because on many web sites the male lists himself as straight so they can better swing with str8 guy/bi women couples. But with patience hopefully eventually we'll all find each other and have one great big party :)

[casperbi]

I lived with a bisexual women for 2 years. Our sex life was great but we had problems in other ares that we couldnt work through. :(

[Bothbi_cpl813]

it is not to bad finding another bi couple, what is hard us how everyone clicks, everyone has different tastes, so having 4 people that "click" is rare. In our experience 3somes are a little easier, simply cutting down on all the compatiblity issues.... it can get compliacted to say the least.... but sometimes that is fun too.

[anne27]

Thanks to everyone who replied! I hadn't meant to start a thread and not reply back to it, but I got sick and was offline for a while. I am thrilled to learn we're not so alone. Rural Tennessee is probably a shorter on bi couples than metro areas.

Thanks y'all for posting! :bipride:

[sharlipooh]

I am a recently outed bi with a straight husband. We are very curious and want to bring another female into the picture. We haven't done it yet, but I was wondering how it might affect our marriage.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom in this respect? THANKS A BUNCH! :tong:

[SCNUDIST]

Seems like bi couples are somewhat on the rare side. My work around has been either to date women or meet gay men at nudist resorts.

[catdad]

We're both bi. We're monogamous...but we can both enjoy looking. :rolleyes:

[metasexual]

Another bi-couple here. We were very open about our sexuality from the beginning. It was wonderful to find someone to not have to keep any secrets from and to be completely unguarded with.

[metasexual]

By the way, there seems to be a large cluster of m/f bi-couples here in Southern England.

[slaphappypud]

Both of us are bi, although my wife's interest in women comes and goes. The upside is that she gets very turned on just thinking about me and another man (it's nice to have things in common! :) )

[biecnal]

Jess and I are both bisexual :three: :flag4:

[littlerayofsunshine]

My hubby and I are both bi. Married 6 years.

[leizy]

I doubt there are any good reliable stats on this out there. If you review some of my past postings, I review the research around bisexuality. As someone said though, a great many bisexuals and "alternative" couples won't identify themselves as such, due to fear of stigma.

Roughly 4-6% of population seem to be actively bi or identify as bisexual or engage in bi-sex. Maybe another 4% admit to having had sexual encounters w/ both sexes, though most of those identify as straight. Now - some people claim as many as 10% of couples are nonmonogamous, (excluding those that are cheating, this is just the negotiated nonmonogamy, some numbers suggest as many 60-70% of males are unfaithful at least once, 35% and rising of females, lesbian couples are the most monogamous, infidelity rate of only 10%) though I think this number is probably a very high, biased estimate.

70% of females in swinging relationships identify as bi, or engage in bisex, but VERY few males identify as bi in swinging, as described well by several writers above. Those in polyamory are more bi-friendly. There again, about 70% or more of women identify as bi, but as many as 50% of men in polyamory also identify as bi or admit to a history of bi sex.

But, overall, out of all the population, how many marriages are bi man, bi woman? No good stats can tell you. Knowing the numbers, I'd guesstimate somewhat less than 5%. Of course, this doesn't take into consideration divorce and remarriage. Most people come out as bi later in life (mid to late 20s). Maybe they've already been married, were bi and unhappy, and now they're gonna try to find someone similar for the second marriage?

Me - my wife and I are both bi, came out to each other as bi within a few weeks of dating. For both of us, it was our first real acknowledgement of bi to someone else. I am so thankful we found each other, knowing the stats as they are...

sorry for all the numbers, but, you asked...

david

[twodelta]

Both Cat and I are Bi, myself more than her. We support and encourage each others exploration and quest to realize our true identities. We also have several "couple friends" where both are Bi.

[bigulfcpl]

We are both bisexual and loving it! Anyone in the Philly area looking to meet? :bipride:

[biecnal]

We are both bisexual and loving it! Anyone in the Philly area looking to meet? :bipride:


Sexy, Sexy!!!! :-)

[bigulfcpl]

Thanks, buddy! We luv ya! :bigrin:

Ron :bipride:

[ScifiBiJen]

JrzGuy3 are I are a bi couple (though I wasn't out as bi when we started dating). We're also both from New Jersey, like several others here... I wonder if NJ has a higher than national average on bi couples. It may just be part of having a higher than average GLBT population in general.

So I guess the moral is: if you're bi and single, head to NJ!


:flag1:

[jedinudist]

I'm Bi, my wife isn't - and we're happier than I thought possible for any two people to be :)

[NWMtnHawk]

I consider myself married in spirit if not by law, (my g/f and I have been together since 1992, living together since Feb of 97), and we both discussed the issue of being bisexual a year after we started living together, 1998. We are both bi. I think couples where both are actually bi or claim such are not that common, but more common than most might think.

[JrzGuy3]

Interesting thought.

The roll call we have going here hasn't revealed a single M-M or F-F couple.

:2cents:

[Sparks]

To be a bisexual couple would be a dream come true.

[mistymockingbird]

Just adding my name to the roster. My significant other is also bi. I actually call him my un-boyfriend, because while we are emotionally monogamous, we are not physically monogamous. But, that's a whole other story. :)

Bottom line, we're a bi, mixed gender couple and it works wonderfully for us.

[bigulfcpl]

Interesting thought.

The roll call we have going here hasn't revealed a single M-M or F-F couple.

:2cents:

My idea on this is that these couples are actual gay couples, and they may not be looking for bi singles or couples, but hey, I could be wrong, just my thought! :flag2:

[grizzle45]

I'm bis and have been out as such since 1992. My wife, without speaking for her more than neccessary, says she is bi but untilrecently I have never heard her identify as bi nor does is out or open about it. However, I don't doubt her identity, I'm just not clear what it means to her and how it shows up. I do think it's important to our (monogamous) relationship that she understands and accepts my biness. Everyone woman I've dated has wither been bisexual or a "faghag". I think it's neccessary for the relationship to work.
I think the reluctance of men to identify as bi is a function of bi invisibility. I think it goes beyond machismo and has as much to do with the lack of bi being an option. If one is in a heterosexual or even a homosexual realtionship, one is less likely to consider they are bi, leading to statements like "lesbian who sleeps with men", "I'm not gay, but I would sleep with Jarvis Cocker" or some such. This is exacerbated by machismo and the percieved male gender role, I think.
I'm glad to see so many married people on this site!

[arana]

I'm bis and have been out as such since 1992. My wife, without speaking for her more than neccessary, says she is bi but untilrecently I have never heard her identify as bi nor does is out or open about it. However, I don't doubt her identity, I'm just not clear what it means to her and how it shows up. I do think it's important to our (monogamous) relationship that she understands and accepts my biness. Everyone woman I've dated has wither been bisexual or a "faghag". I think it's neccessary for the relationship to work.
I think the reluctance of men to identify as bi is a function of bi invisibility. I think it goes beyond machismo and has as much to do with the lack of bi being an option. If one is in a heterosexual or even a homosexual realtionship, one is less likely to consider they are bi, leading to statements like "lesbian who sleeps with men", "I'm not gay, but I would sleep with Jarvis Cocker" or some such. This is exacerbated by machismo and the percieved male gender role, I think.
I'm glad to see so many married people on this site!I'm glad that your wife is so accepting of your bi-ness. Have you ever tried sitting down and talking about things more and find out about her bi-ness as well. Find out where she's coming from with it? It could open up a whole new avenue to you that you didn't expect.

[Avocado]

I'm bi, my fiancee's straight. I was in love with my parent's friends' daughter once, long since me and my fiancee got together she realised she's bi. I wouldn't change anything though.

[biecnal]

Just adding my name to the roster. My significant other is also bi. I actually call him my un-boyfriend, because while we are emotionally monogamous, we are not physically monogamous. But, that's a whole other story. :)

Bottom line, we're a bi, mixed gender couple and it works wonderfully for us.

mistymockingbird,

I love your comments about emotionally monogamous, not physically monogamous!

This is exactly how Jess and I consider ourselves.

:grouphug: Lance :flag1:

[ghytifrdnr]

Mistymockingbird and Biecnal,

Yes, that is a tantalizing statement. Would either/both of you care to talk more about it? I'm sure that's the state I'd like to be in, maybe a lot of others as well.
:kay:

[hotbiwoman@yahoo.com]

I think there maybe some bi-sexual couples but very rare, because I haven't heard to many of them around and I do have friends that are. I don't know people make a big deal about other people's sexualality, when really it shouldn't be anybody's bussiness except for people that are involved. Unless they are invited into the information and or that don't have an issue with it. ;)

[biecnal]

Mistymockingbird and Biecnal,

Yes, that is a tantalizing statement. Would either/both of you care to talk more about it? I'm sure that's the state I'd like to be in, maybe a lot of others as well.
:kay:

Sure! Ask away :)

Lance

[bigulfcpl]

[Font=tahoma] I like how Misty referenced it, and Lance agreed. Chrissy and I, however, do not feel this way. We are a committed couple, and we were open about our bisexuality in the very beginning of our relationship. When we got into the swinging scene, we both agreed that we would play as a couple.

Nothing turns me on more than to see her engaged with another woman. And, ditto for her seeing me engaged with another man. We could not do it separate though, just does not feel the same, and it is not a jealous or insecurity, it is how we like to play. It is our preference.

We have both played with the same sex alone, prior to getting together, but, we just prefer to do things as a couple. It is sooooooooo EROTIC!

Don't you just love the openness in this thread? You are all loving people, from what I have read, and we enjoy being part of the community!

[ambi53mm]

Both happily married and bi as well. Couldn't imagine it any other way. We are not out for profesional reasons but enjoy the freedom of being out online. I post under this screen name and she post's under "Bijingles". We have and still do occasionally play with other couples, but also enjoy the relationships with our individually selected bi-mates. It works for us and creates the balance we both enjoy :bigrin:

Ambi :)

[anne27]

I am a recently outed bi with a straight husband. We are very curious and want to bring another female into the picture. We haven't done it yet, but I was wondering how it might affect our marriage.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom in this respect? THANKS A BUNCH! :tong:

Hubby and I have played with other bisexuals, always together and always carefully chosen. I think it can be done without harming your marriage, but make sure things are very secure before you take that step. If either of you have a problem with jealousy, I'd suggest not attempting it.
Having said that, I think it added a futher level of trust and more us even more intimate with each other.

Best of luck to you both!

[anne27]

I doubt there are any good reliable stats on this out there. If you review some of my past postings, I review the research around bisexuality. As someone said though, a great many bisexuals and "alternative" couples won't identify themselves as such, due to fear of stigma.

Roughly 4-6% of population seem to be actively bi or identify as bisexual or engage in bi-sex. Maybe another 4% admit to having had sexual encounters w/ both sexes, though most of those identify as straight. Now - some people claim as many as 10% of couples are nonmonogamous, (excluding those that are cheating, this is just the negotiated nonmonogamy, some numbers suggest as many 60-70% of males are unfaithful at least once, 35% and rising of females, lesbian couples are the most monogamous, infidelity rate of only 10%) though I think this number is probably a very high, biased estimate.

70% of females in swinging relationships identify as bi, or engage in bisex, but VERY few males identify as bi in swinging, as described well by several writers above. Those in polyamory are more bi-friendly. There again, about 70% or more of women identify as bi, but as many as 50% of men in polyamory also identify as bi or admit to a history of bi sex.

But, overall, out of all the population, how many marriages are bi man, bi woman? No good stats can tell you. Knowing the numbers, I'd guesstimate somewhat less than 5%. Of course, this doesn't take into consideration divorce and remarriage. Most people come out as bi later in life (mid to late 20s). Maybe they've already been married, were bi and unhappy, and now they're gonna try to find someone similar for the second marriage?

Me - my wife and I are both bi, came out to each other as bi within a few weeks of dating. For both of us, it was our first real acknowledgement of bi to someone else. I am so thankful we found each other, knowing the stats as they are...

sorry for all the numbers, but, you asked...

david

HI David,

I have read your research posts with great interest! Thanks for the figures. That's exactly what I was looking for! :bigrin:

Thank you!

[anne27]

Thanks, buddy! We luv ya! :bigrin:

Ron :bipride:



*wolf whistles* :tong:

Niiiiiccceee pics! Thanks for sharing! :bigrin:

[WestTennBiGuy]

My wife & I are both bi & have been with a few bi couples & know many more. But I do believe there are less bi couples than bi singles, as we've been approached by more singles than couples.

might be a good idea for a poll to see how many members are bi couples or bi singles.

Rob :flag2:

[CountryLover]

Even here I seem to be unique :rolleyes:

I'm emotionally monogamous - within the gender. I can be physically monogamous - within the gender, but it's a concious choice, not something hardwired within me.

My sweet man is VERY bi - and hardwired monogamous. He's still adapting to the fact that he shares me with my girlfriend, emotionally and physically. He's also getting used to the idea that I am encouraging him to enjoy a male lover. I'd love to be in that triad! :bibounce:

Thankfully in all this mess, my girlfriend and I know we love each other, and share each other with our male partners, family, friends, work, church and a myriad of other responsibilities. We're a respite for each other from all that other pressure.

Sara

[Haemoglobin]

I really wonder sometimes if its not an illusion that someone who is not bisexual can handle a bisexual partner and accept the fact that there are other partners ?? is that really true or is that what they tell us so that they can still be together with oneself ? im not so sure . . anytime me and my man talk about things as gettin another partner , having sex with others . . he gets a bit quite and sometimes even cranky . . he is not bi , hes straight logically . . so i think the only reason why he doesnt react in a bad way is cause he is in love with me .

and also when i think of bi couples searchin for bi couples to make friends with theres one thing that makes me curious - why are you so sure there are so many ? and why would one think there are , they only dont "out" themselves ? i mean i dont have that impression , i find it even quite hard to get a female sex partner in a country where millions of people live , so hello ? who says one will be that successfull . .

am i a pessimist ? please dont get it wrong guys ok :bibounce: i only wanna dig a bit deeper i guess . .

[FlaPlaya561]

ive been bi since about 1998

Bi-females are treated like queens and
Bi-males are shot on sight :2cents:

[Haemoglobin]

there you could be right . . maybe thats because a lot of straight guys think that bisexual women are attractive , nasty or whatsoever . . . not exactly the thought they have when they think about their own kind kissing and makin out .
there are some things which never change . . :cool:

[bigulfcpl]

*wolf whistles* :tong:

Niiiiiccceee pics! Thanks for sharing! :bigrin:

Thanks sweetie!
:bigrin:

[BiDallasCouple]

I haven't replied to many posts but I had to to this one. We both are bi and not afraid to let people know. BUT... in mainstream society, {due to the media and religious communities interpretations of their "sacred" texts} it is so looked down upon for a man to enguage in sex with another man {for ANY reason} that bi men are really in hiding much like the gay men used to be. They are looked at as being gay and acting straight, which is not the case. Just look at how the media looked at brokeback mountain. Women dont have this problem on the same scale, because the straight male deems it OK for two women to have sex. Personally I think because they think there might be a REMOTE possibility that he may have 2 women at the same time. As a bi man, my fantasies are of another bi couple in a knot with us. :bigrin: Same with her. That way we can have a little or ALOT of both. I think they are alot of bi couples out there but either they themselves dont know it because the man is too scared to mention it to his spouse, which happens ALOT, or they may know it but hide the fact... we get alot of offers from profiles who state straight male/bi female and he ends up being bi and just didnt want to "put it out there". I say PUT IT OUT THERE GUYS! Let the media and others in the world know its OK TO BE BISEXUAL. We dont tell others they are wrong so dont tell us WE are wrong. {officially getting off of my soap box... thank you for reading} JD

[mtenn]

i cant find a bi couple (memphis, tn). i did find one couple that claimed to be on line on aol yrs ago, but never met up with them unfortunately. as the least desirable category (bi male), it's tough. even finding a bi woman who would be interested maybe in becoming the couple with me to host a 3rd or 4th is tough.