Does Anal Hurt?

[Papelucho]

I'm really nervous about hooking up with a guy, and this is part of the reason. Any info?

[open2both]

But it's such a DELICIOUS pain-in-the-ass!





I'm really nervous about hooking up with a guy, and this is part of the reason. Any info?

[rissababynta]

Of course, it is a little uncomfortable, but as long as you start on your knees (good position for beginners), have an understanding partner that will go slowly, use a good, generous amount of lube, and learn how to relax your muscles (this is where the understanding partner comes into play, because they may have to go in EXTREMELY slow and stop for a few seconds every so often so your muscles can adjust). Once you have got all this down, you should find out very shortly that once your body takes a minute to get used to it, it can be quite enjoyable.

Also, some people absolutely do not find it comfortable at all, even after covering these bases, unless they stimulate themselves in the front as well, so keep this in mind.

Good luck and happy butt love to you my friend.

[Bi_Druid]

not if you use plenty of lube!
Never too much, especially if its your first time.

also, try to relax. If you relax you'll find it loads easier and far more fun.

It also helps if you have a gentle partner. I've had partners who ave been somewhat spit-n-shove, and that only left me with bruises where bruises shouldn't be. Partners who are more willing to take it slow and gentle and built up the momentum gradually give far more pleasing anal. Gentle and ease it in to start with is much better for both than just ramming it in and pounding from the word go, specially if the giver is well endowed. It's something I've learned to be with my partner.

And did I mention, use plenty of lube

[bisexualman]

It can but I don;t think it has to. As others have said, a good partner is important. Have you tried using toys to get used to the sensation? I found that it was always pleasurable for me but I started with small items and worked my way up. And as they have all said: lube is your friend!

[Lonewolf76]

It can but I don;t think it has to. As others have said, a good partner is important. Have you tried using toys to get used to the sensation? I found that it was always pleasurable for me but I started with small items and worked my way up. And as they have all said: lube is your friend!

Hi,
I couldn't agree with bisexualman more! I learned very early on to use toys to go at my own pace and loosed things up, as mentioned plenty of lube. Then when your body is used to it you're good to go. Do that a few times by yourself at first to get used to everything. Then on the big day - have your partner use the toys to loosen you up as part of the foreplay. Just my :2cents: LW

[Vachenzo]

I would explore anal play a little bit with toys first. Haha, It can actually be quite fun to look out for something that might be fun to stick up your rump. The key is to make sure you have lots of lubrication. Playing with yourself can also get your anus used to having something in it. Practicing allows you to control the muscles better so it doesnt hurt.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Theres a product called Astro-Glide Plus that has a teeenny bit of deadener in it, and from what I am told (Because my ass in an exit not an entrance tyVm) that it makes your first time a little less painful. But from my experiances with bi male partners, the key is relaxation and arousal and a great, tender, loving, caring, lover. :} Have fun and be safe at all costs. :cool:
Cat

[parkerbi]

Try to start with a toy first before do it with your partner. that's important.

[innaminka]

Yes, of course it "hurts!'
That's its wonderful attraction.
I know men can't relate to vaginal penetration, but the two are so completely different.
vaginal is about connecting and moving together, without a great deal of sensation.
Anal penetration gives this incredible filled, searching, probing feeling. You are never at ease as with vaginal sex - you can always feel every single millimetre of penetration and every nerve cell is doing its thing.
With me I find it causes my brain to create those endomorphins which bring you to a high.
That filling, exquisite ache is what its all about.
However any sharp pain - stop, withdraw and think again. It should never cause a pain like that!

And of course men have that added bonus of the prostate..... :tongue:

[guycurious]

Doesn't hurt me a bit !! Guess I'm lucky.

I learned at an early age that I enjoyed having items inside me. When my wife lubes up her hand I'm in for a ride !! She can almost fit her hand inside me, just can't get past the upper knuckles. But that stretched out/filled to the brink sensation is too much. I never last more than a minute and I'm spewing.

My wife on the other hand is tight as a drum. She can finally handle a finger with relative ease. One finger inserted at the right time during cunnulingus pushes her over the top. Took us a long time to get to this point. Anal sex for her is still a challenge. It's easier now than it used to be but it does take her a while to get accustomed to me being in her.

[onewhocares]

Must agree with the fine suggestions mentioned above. In my estimation the two most important aspects for enjoyable and luscious anal play is FIRST a patient, kind and caring partner. One who can enjoy with you and experience and provide lots of foreplay in the area. SECOND...Lube, lube, lube and more lube. It is like...diamonds...a woman can never have enough. If you have the above...then all you have to do is relax and enjoy. The suggestion of starting off slow with a toy and working you way up to the real thing is a good idea.

Belle


PS......a little bit of pain can be a pleasure...but knowing when to stop is key.

[Realist]

Papelucho, It sounds to me like you may not have actually been with a guy, sexually, yet.

Some never do have anal sex, but are content with sucking and/or being sucked. Some don't even do that, but will only masturbate each other. Anal is not a prerequisite for sex between lovers.

Also some crave it and some would rather abstain. Certainly, if anyone has ever had a bad experience with receiving anal, they will be hesitant to try it again. Everyone who posted above said it right.............too much lube is maybe not quite enough!

If you are afraid, or not interested, just find a partner who is OK with that. As they say, "Different strokes for different folks". Just try to hook up with someone with similar interests.

[KevsBi]

Anal sex is a very loving way for two men to share their passion for each other but its something that has to be performed at a very slow pace.
No one said that you have to recieve.....find a partner who has experienced being a 'bottom' and which position would be the best in which to enter him.
You will learn alot about anal sex by being a 'top' the first time you do it.

[rassilon953]

A couple of points from things other people have said. It could be a bit risky to use lubricants containing deadeners because your body needs to know when it's experiencing something painful in order for you to stop it. It probably wouldn't be that risky if you know what the sensations should feel like.

I'd also say that it's better to be a bottom first, and move on to being a top later. You can't expect to understand the feelings you're giving someone without having experienced them yourself first, and you might develop a few bad habits too.

As for whether or not it hurts, the answer lies in your mind. You're trying to use an exit as an entrance, so you have to stop involuntary muscle reactions that expel objects. If you can do that, it won't hurt, but this will require, as others have said, a considerate partner and, you guessed it, adequate lubrication at all stages.

Believe me, it's worth it, prostates are famous for a reason.

The only other factor worth mentioning is that most erections fall into one of two types. Up and away from the body (from the side, looks like this: r), or away from the body and up (looks like this: J) and you may find you prefer to be on your back for one and on your front for the other, in order to minimise pain and maximise pleasure. But that's maybe something to move on to after you've got the basics sorted!

[treemutt]

I agree w/ everyone else's post another thing to add is try taking some tylenol before hand that helps relax you also plus buy a butt-plug & use it before you try it.They get you relaxed & loose.Enjoy go slow use lots of lube I think you find the pain turns to pleasure

[twinspiritrev]

Anal play can be very exciting and erotic if done properly. (Factoid) Sex any kind of sex is 90% mental and only 10% physical. There are many ways to have anal fun but first let me say three (3) very important words about it.

Preparation, Preparation, Preparation,

First, mentally prepare your self for anal play if you think of your ass as an erogenous zone and think of all the things you would like about it then you will enjoy it more when the time comes.
Second, I can’t stress this one enough “CLEANLYNESS” I know common since all ready tells you that. Think of it first as a health matter no one wants to get sick I know I don’t. And personally I don’t find even the slightest trace of fecal matter or the smell enjoyable and I assume that most people don’t.
And last but not least foreplay, lots and lots of foreplay when it comes to the anus. When receiving I like to start out on my back with a pillow or two under my ass, knees pulled up as far as I can and my legs spread wide. Doggie style is fine too witch ever you prefer its all good.
Communication is the key element here. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner what you want them to do. I like soft caressing and kissing the inner thighs working your way slowly towards the anus kissing and licking around the ass-hole teasing it this way for a while builds the anticipation of what’s to come. Then lightly touching and licking the hole softly rubbing it slowly entering a little at a time going in deeper each time alternating between your tongue and finger. Using a lot of saliva, lube is not needed for this. If you prefer a small dildo can be used at this point. This can be fun and enjoyable for a man or a woman and can be taken all the way to an orgasm.

Now as for a cock in your ass. For this I suggest a generous amount of good quality lube in and around your ass hole and on his cock. On your back or from behind witch ever you prefer. Again communication is key, start slow by rubbing the tip of it around the ass hole then slowly press a little harder. When feel your hole open a little as the tip go’s in stop there and move it around and in and out a little. Then gently push a little more and just as the head pop’s in stop there for a moment and let your self relax. You may feel a little pain at this point. I've come to love that little bit of pain it’s not so much pain but a wonderful sharp sensation of pleasure when you know you have a hard cock in your ass. (remember 90% mental) Then slide the rest of it in nice and slow and pull it all the way out and back in. Nice long slow strokes all the way in and out gradually picking up the pace moving a little harder and faster. There should be no more pain now just a wonderful sensation of pleasure. Now find a good pace and enjoy a good ole ass fucking.

[MsMags]

With the wrong partner, yes.

[Doggie_Wood]

YES!!! It hurts like a lightning bolt up your ass - IF you are with someone that does not care, goes to fast, is too damn big, doesn't use any foreplay and lube, and many other things.

What I am trying to say is, go slow - take your time - find the right partner to help you with your introduction to anal sex. Given the right person, setting and mindsets of the two of you, anal sex can be one of the most exciting, exhilarating and enjoyable sexual experiences you can have.

So take your time and don't rush it.

Just my :2cents:

Doggie :doggie:

[undecided09nyc]

another thing that helps a lot is using poppers, but I'm not sure if that's too controversial :tong:

[jem_is_bi]

I have not done anal sex. So for me, no pain at all.

[bisexualman]

Just to make sure all the points are covered you should know the potential. First off I can't speak for other men, but anal as a bottom can be mind blowing. The type of orgasm is amazing. There is the full prostate orgasm; the full body rippling orgasm; or a combination of the two. I generally have multiple orgasms during anal depending on the partner. I don't even have to ejaculate to experience the orgasm. So I recommend a good partner and lots of time.

[Philly_PA]

With practice it's awesome.

A little trick besides the lube and a good condom.

Clean out well...enema.

And...as he's going in...you push OUT.

And pop...he's in and you're being fucked and it's awesome!

[proseros]

What Philly said, with one exception...

KNOW YOUR BODY. Sometimes even when you DO want something 10x6 in your ass, you gotta remember and respect the fact that your ass is an organ-not the organism, and if it aint as ready as you are take the head and call it a day. Even after a more aggresive than usual session of cleaning and lubing you do manage to get the pipe in there you aren't going to enjoy it; and even if you manage to adjust to the residual discomfort and crack a pleasurable moan [usually these instances get more huffing and gravel grunts]-again, your ass is an organ, not the organism, and working against the grain of what your body is prepared for can result in a kind instestinal distress that can be quite uncomfortable for ours or days afterward.

Work on getting with a guy who is enough of a partner to respect proper timing and synch with you on your readiness to get fucked the way you enjoy it, not necessarily the way you-think-you want it.

[darkeyes]

Far as me concerned..me bum has a purpose wich don involve owt goin in..;)

[izzfan]

Although I'm attracted to guys probably more than women in some ways, anal is one thing that I personally try to avoid. I tried it once (ended up being both top and bottom... not at the same time LOL!) and I found it to be quite uncomfortable and not that enjoyable, although this may have been to do with the fact that I have never really experimented with toys etc... before and the guy I was sleeping with had an unusually large thing. Maybe try oral first [now that is something which is amazing regardless of whether you are top or bottom].

Just my :2cents:

[elian]

Anal isn't for everyone and as so many others have said - the key is patience, trust and lots of lube. It takes a LOT of stamina. Initial feeling isn't all that wonderful to be honest - but the sensation builds..

Don't think you have to like anal to be gay, just as some straight people like or dislike - although sometimes you can get that feeling of wanting to be REALLY close to the person you love..for straight people it's fairly easy to express that sexually - gay people have to be more creative at times.

[jem_is_bi]

Although I'm attracted to guys probably more than women in some ways, anal is one thing that I personally try to avoid. I tried it once (ended up being both top and bottom... not at the same time LOL!) and I found it to be quite uncomfortable and not that enjoyable, although this may have been to do with the fact that I have never really experimented with toys etc... before and the guy I was sleeping with had an unusually large thing. Maybe try oral first [now that is something which is amazing regardless of whether you are top or bottom].

Just my :2cents:

I definitely understand your aversion to anal sex. My partner is large and no way is it going to give me pleasure. I might be bleeding for days afterward. However, oral sex is a different matter; it is amazing how good that feels. It is amazing how good all absolutely all of it feels.

[billybear47]

I'm really nervous about hooking up with a guy, and this is part of the reason. Any info?

If you have enough foreplay with tongue and/or fingers anal does not hurt as long you take your time and give yourself time to adjust.It is incredibly sensual,and gives a completely different orgasm that shakes you to the core.Done right,it is worth the effort EVERY time.

[jeancarleo]

JUST TRAIN YOUR ASS.
FINGER URSELF IN THE SHOWER, TRY ONE FINGER FIRST THEN TWO.
ENEMA WORKS BECAUSE U GET URSELF CLEANED AND THAT MEANS NO PAIN.
ALSO U CAN BUY A BUTT PLUG OR DILDO, MAKE IT A SMALL ONE TO TRIAN UR ASS.
LASTLY, UR PARTNER HAS TO TAKE IT SLOW AND U HAVE TO BE RELAXED AND NOT TENSE AND NERVOUS. ALSO A LOT OF LUBE HELPS AND MY FIRST POSITION AS BOTTOM (RECEIVER) WAS WITH MY LEGS OVER HIS SHOULDERS, BUT EVERYONE ENJOYS A DIFFERENT POSITION AND THAT POSITION HELPED BECAUSED WE KISSED AS HE WAS WORKING HIS WAY IN.
I DIDN'T FEEL NO PAIN AT ALL JUST PLEASURE, SO GOOD LUCK MAN :)

[barejerr]

I will refer this to a metaphor, I once heard about nose picking and anal sex is very similar,

you don;t stick your finger up your nose to the 3rd knuckle the first time do you, nor would you with your ass

You should make sure your fingers nails are trimmed and filed... in either case.

A little lubricate helps in either case.

Don't put anything in your nostril, bigger than the hole...same is true for........

and always trim the hair... no one likes nose hair or in my case ass hair :tongue:

[lookn0ver]

first off this is a "YOU" thing !!! understand that right off."YOU" gotta want it or allow it,butt:eek: "you" are supposed to be the enjoyer:eek: of this project:eek:SIMPLE AS THAT. so if "YOU:eek:" don't know what "YOU":eek: are doing ,"Baby there's gonna be a whole lotta pain!":eek: Learn what your doing to yourself and if it doesn't feel good :eek:"STOP" right there and slow down before you make damage:eek: you cannot reverse:eek:. or your:eek: numb minded partner does. 'SOUNDS'' is a tool i heard of that increase the dilation . one is a little bit bigger :eek:than the last one used until you are comfortably stretched to your delight zone:tongue:(MY GAWD! some have taken this to a whole new level like a 2 car garage:eek:). the famous saying is ''1finger:tong: 2 finger:tongue:3 finger prick:eek:'' try not to play that song til your ready. Came a day when i wanted to go larger than fingers and such and i went & done some research and then decided to push my limits:eek: and there was this one toy/butt plug i just had to conquer. i did not do this over night. and the first time it popped in i was freaked :eek:out. but soon was able to enjoy the sensation:tong: and i'm glad i did... my wife was a harder nut to crack but she when she did take it in TOOK IT ALL AT ONCE but did not enjoy it :(and it took quite some time before we were able approach the subject again. in the END:eek: i had to do some tall talking:cool: and with alot of TLC :tongue:she now enjoys now than before to the hilt p.s. pay attention to dimension and diameter of the objects you are inserting and work you way up to the Godzilla proportions and remember it is supposed to feel sooooooooo good !:tong: you can't get enough ,NOT THIS:eek: SHIT !

[xjambix]

I agree with what everyone's said. Use lots of lube and take it slow.

Also, you don't need to jump into anal sex straight away, for your first few sexual encounters, you could use toys to get you more comfortable with the feeling of it?

I'd like to ask a question about anal sex; is it quite messy?

[rissababynta]

I'd like to ask a question about anal sex; is it quite messy?

It easily can be. If you're asking about lube mess, then it depends on how much you use. It is possible to go overboard.

If it is...other kinds of mess...that you are referring to, it all depends. Some peoplejust simply aren't messy people when it comes to that area. However there are people out there that absolutely must shower and use an enima before any anal play in order to ensure cleanliness.

[Realist]

Enema first is definitely the way to go! Too much lube is just about enough! Some will do it bareback, but a condom could prevent infection and/or disease.

[DDAXX6774]

The first time it will hurt. But if you take it easy and use lubrication. Both you and your partner will have a real good "down and dirty" experience. Do use condom, it is dirty down there. Always practice safe sex here, and the dirty pleasure will be your best "dirty little secret".:2cents:

[YoungAndExotic]

I just had my first anal experience last weekend. I found it hurt for the first 30 seconds or so, but once you get through that, it feels wonderful and very erotic

[miamiuu]

I'm really nervous about hooking up with a guy, and this is part of the reason. Any info?

you should be more nervous about having a clean buttocks. its hard to be sure your clean down there if you dont do any extra effort.

[Hephaestion]

....I'd like to ask a question about anal sex; is it quite messy?....

Just on the basis of lubrcation yes. But there is more. It doesn't matter what precautions are taken, at sometime poo will happen. The impact of this depends on the people involved. Healthy and passionate partners tend not to worry too much about these side effects and they may serve to emphasise the intimacy of such the act.

Preparatory enemas do help. Keeping to strict diet and feeding regimes will help by allowing the gut to remain empty once emptied / cleaned. However, copious lubrication and one's friend pumping away (the size and stroke of the pump is relevant here) can act as an enema in itself. If one does not use a condom then the semen itself can contribute. As one can remain dilated immediatetly after coitus it may not be possible to determine what is or is not leaking out. Lubricants with numbing chemicals will not help in this. Just the physical act itself can trigger a need for a visit to the loo afterwards. Badly timed wind can simply embarrass or cause a more pronounced problem.

.

[MikeW]

For your first few times try riding your partner. Have him lay on his back and you sit on him. That way you can control penetration. Tell him not to push. An experienced, considerate top is key here. Your first time may not result in full penetration. That’s fine. It takes time and experience to be comfortable and relaxed. It’s all about relaxing the muscles. Take your time, breath and relax… and above all USE LOTS OF LUBE.

[rissababynta]

For your first few times try riding your partner. Have him lay on his back and you sit on him. That way you can control penetration. Tell him not to push. An experienced, considerate top is key here. Your first time may not result in full penetration. That’s fine. It takes time and experience to be comfortable and relaxed. It’s all about relaxing the muscles. Take your time, breath and relax… and above all USE LOTS OF LUBE.

For the record, most consider this to be an "advanced" move because you can not relax your muscles the same way in this position as you can on all fours. To each their own though.

[cherrie1980]

I think that if you are worried about the pain of anal, then maybe you might want to go to a porn store and buy a toy that is for anal. I was scared too and so that is what I did. I found one that started off small and got bigger the more you wnt down, it also helped that it vibrated too. That helped my muscles relax. It will be a ittle painful when its the real thing, but at least this way you are kinda use to the penatration. I hope this helps you a little. When you actually get to that point you will love it.
Good Luck,
Cherrie1980

[Orlando157]

A lot depends on which end you are on .... but eitehr way if you both (or all three or four) take it slow and communicate it will be fine - With the right partners it can be more than fine

[ErosUrge]

Don't know what I can add here that everyone hasn't already covered. But I will share in an experience to shed some light maybe.

I was enjoying myself with two other males and performing oral on one while the other one would was giving me oral. Eventually, I could sense that the one I was sucking wanted to fuck me but never said a word. I sensed this because he was doing things to my anal area as in rubbing with his fingers and ocassionally getting them wet... he just rubbed the outer area which created all these great sensations. This was going on while the other guy was taking care of me orally. This went on for a good 15 minutes at least and by this time, I began to feel the desire to want more. Eventually, I felt a finger enter me just to the knuckle which sent more pleasuable sensations. This went on just for a couple of minutes but was really stirring me even more and I desired to go further. Eventually, he made way to getting behind me while the other person continued to give me oral. Then he grabbed my hips and simply rubbed the head of his cock around my anal area. Then he did the unexpected by finally leaning over and using his tongue all around the hole and finally into it as far as he could get it. This really sent me and I felt completely relaxed. I definitely wanted more and at this time turned over on my back, spreading my legs and I was fully erect. The person who had been giving me oral stopped for a bit while this was happening. And then, the other one stepped up and slid the head into me and waited only for a couple of seconds and then slid into me with one stroke. I gasped as it slid in without any problems at all. I couldn't believe it as this had never happened in this way for me before without any discomfort. The other guy used his hand on my cock and jacked me. I can't even begin to describe all the sensations I was feeling. I only lasted perhaps one minute, maybe two before I hit my peak and experienced one of the most intense orgasms I've ever felt as he continued to slide in and out of me at a steady but easy going pace. Of course, once my orgasm was done, everything felt much too sensitive for him to go on and he withdrew and then used his hand to reach his orgasm and shot out across my belly mixing in with my own...

I know this all seems like something you'd read in an erotic sex story book, but it truly did happen this way. I decided to tell it because though anal can be painful and I've had painful experiences, it can get to the point (as everyone has pointed out) that if you have the right partner who is easy going and willing to not only listen but reads your reactions well, a most memorable and most enjoyable experience.

Using toys in the beginning is definitely a way to introduce yourself to the pleasures of anal. There was once a time I said I would never ever indulge in anything having to do with anal, but as you can see, that has all passed. Even now, it's only something I do on ocassion. I reserve it for special moments and have to really be in the mood for it or get brought into the mood as I did in the episode above.

And then again, not everyone is really ready for such a moment and that's okay too. It's really all a matter of how your mind works with all this and only then can your body respond to it in a positive way if you're willing to really explore. Best wishes in your explorations and experiences.

[iwantyouontop15]

No anal feels sooooo good

[rissababynta]

No anal feels sooooo good

Well that was helpful haha.

[biwestpalm]

anal ease can get you over the first hurdle. It helps to relax you.

[boca.openminded]

its just like everything else - practice makes perfect...

I have never had anal sex with another man BUT I have had gf insert toys. At first 2 fingers was all I can handle. I wound up buying a med size plug and loved the feeling. I then went with a larger one and that was way too big. Years later I now own that large plug and am able (with lube & taking it slow) to sit on the large size plug.

Like everyone else said use plenty of lube, be relaxed, and take it slow. You'll be able to handle it. They say that the mans G spot is in his anal area so enjoy yourself..

[MikeW]

At first 2 fingers was all I can handle.

I find fingers hurt. And fingernails can cut. I can bottom with the best of them but I don't like fingers there. I guess we're all different in some ways.

[rissababynta]

I find fingers hurt. And fingernails can cut. I can bottom with the best of them but I don't like fingers there. I guess we're all different in some ways.

I tend to agree. For some reason, fingers anywhere is not quite as comfortable as the real thing or a very good replica of the real thing.