Love...life...sexuality...HELP!!!

[jellyfish]

arghhhhhhh ok so i need somewhere to vent my frustrations and please if your replying to this thread don't be harsh i need help not criticism! (Thanks lol)

i hate feeling like this, confused about sexuality and scared of admitting it to yourself let alone anyone else. But the thing is, how am i supposed to ever find out myself without telling someone? i mean yeah going to a gay club seems like the best and only option i can think of but there is no way i'm going on my own-which kinda rules that option out....

arghhh i wish life was sooooooooooo much easier...
does anyone have any good advice? i feel like i'm totally lost at the moment and fighting my feelings which is getting me down....

I'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself now and finish this thread! Any help is much appreciated!

xx

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

So find a trusted friend and go to one of the clubs! It doesnt mean you are outting yourself, it just means that you are taking a first step in discovering who you are. Have fun, be safe, be you. ;)
Cat

[rissababynta]

i must say I do agree with cat here. You just need to find someone that you can really trust. Confiding in someone does not mean you're letting the world into your life.

[Realist]

Jelly, you might do well to place a personal add with your wants and desires on it. Then, chat on the Internet with a person who sounds like someone you'd like to know. When you find someone who sounds interesting, meet him/her in a public place, first. If you connect on a mental and sensual way, you can take it to the next level. Don't get in too big a hurry and don't settle for less than you really want. Your first time should be really special.

[jellyfish]

Thankyou everyone! :)

[PaulWaul]

I think that telling it to someone is the best way. You don't have to say 'I'm gay' or anything like that, just explain to them what you're going through. They might not be able to help you, but often voicing things out loud to another person can help you figure out your own thoughts.

Best of luck

[MikeW]

Jelly, you might do well to place a personal add with your wants and desires on it. Then, chat on the Internet with a person who sounds like someone you'd like to know. When you find someone who sounds interesting, meet him/her in a public place, first. If you connect on a mental and sensual way, you can take it to the next level. Don't get in too big a hurry and don't settle for less than you really want. Your first time should be really special.

That worked for me.

When I was in the midst of admitting my sexuality to myself I found bisexual dot com and put up a profile. Eventually I found someone in a similar situation as me. After several chats we met at a Toronto gay bar. We had a few beers, watched a hockey game and talked for several hours.

I wasn’t at the point of talking with a close friend about my sexuality. Meeting him was a step towards talking with a close friend. I liked that we were basically strangers. There was a comfort in its anonymity. If I decided it was all a mistake I could go back to my life as it was and not have the stress of having outed my curiosities.

That evening was a very significant part of understanding myself.

A few simple rules to live by if you’re meeting someone…
Meet in a public place.
Listen for and trust your instincts.
Control your alcohol intake. (we tend to make poorer choices when we’ve had a few too many)
Arrange your own transportation to and from your meeting.


Mike W

[jeancarleo]

been there, done that.
It's a phase in life most of us face i guess but i gotta tell u. I've made the best friends out of the internet and clubbed with those who like to go out and club and just be myself. I love to dance, that makes me happy.

As for love, i also found love here on the internet, be careful, some people do lie and that sucks, just be positive ;)

Life, well that depends where you're heading, what do you want to accomplish this year? take a day at a time and plan and learn how to save money, that's very important if u love to spend like me :P

Sexuality, well you can feel you're into girls or into guys or into both, that depends on how you are feeling attracted to which sex. I'm more attracted to guys. I have a bisexual sister who i think is more lesbian or more attracted to girls but she likes to keep it a secret, she had 2 gs already and i think she has a third one now but she don't like to talk about it not even to me and i'm out of the closet, lol!

Good luck in everything you do, be yourself, be happy :)

[xjambix]

I'll come with you!

I know how you're feeling, but I think you should talk to a really close friend about it.

Are you at uni or college or anything? There may be an LGBT club you can join, they sometimes offer a buddying service so you can talk to someone before you join the group activities.

Good luck :)

[softfruit]

Hmmm, Southern Great Britain... that covers a lot of the island but depending where you are, you could even try dipping your toe in the bisexual sea at Brighton this weekend for Brighton BiFest (www.bifest.org)!