shopping replacing fucking

[catalyst]

i havent had sex for 4 months, i was in a 7-month relationship that was very intense, for him who was recently out of a 6 year sexless marriage and for me as the first relationship I had had after being stalked by an ex-partner

I was before this casually seeing someone who I became infacutated with and is wonderful but isnt into relationships

Im struggling with getting over M.E. chronic fatigue syndrome which I got as part of PTSD post traumatic stress from being stalked
anyway but to the chase

I miss Fucking with a capital F, even with chronic fatigue sex was a huge part of my life and its really hard to date if your seick
my last partner was totally cool about and me being bi

incidently we're both on th bipolar spectrum so longterm maybe for the best that we are not together

but i dont where to start now
im not sure what i want
but I feel a part of me is not fufilled
and I know sex is not the be all and end all
but I suppose Im sick of being sick and being sexual is tied up with my dientiy with being young
Ive joined an internet site but you have to search for girls or boys

Im so frustrated!!
I keep buying vintage dresses and lingerie as I often cant get out and winning bids on ebay seems to be a temporary thrill

which is making me laugh out loud even now that i type that, im probably the best dressed bi in brighton (who isnt getting any!)

some days by the time i have cooked I am zonked and thats a day for
other days I can walk for 2 hours and feel no symptoms

sex makes me feel alive despite being ill and i miss it

love to all

catalyst xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[AmericanBeauty]

Shopping addiction replacing a sexual addiction?

Maybe get some therapy or on some meds for the bipolar issue and the other mental issues you have?

I know people who are bipolar and some of them buy tons of stuff that they simply do not need at all since they're manic and it's a huge rush.

Like one woman I know that's bipolar when she was manic and not on meds spent about $500 on junk, like stuff that you see on infomercials that doesn't work, and most of it is still in boxes and unused.

She's on meds and in therapy now but that's what it was like when she was not.

[bityme]

i havent had sex for 4 months, i was in a 7-month relationship that was very intense, for him who was recently out of a 6 year sexless marriage and for me as the first relationship I had had after being stalked by an ex-partner

I was before this casually seeing someone who I became infacutated with and is wonderful but isnt into relationships

Im struggling with getting over M.E. chronic fatigue syndrome which I got as part of PTSD post traumatic stress from being stalked
anyway but to the chase

I miss Fucking with a capital F, even with chronic fatigue sex was a huge part of my life and its really hard to date if your seick
my last partner was totally cool about and me being bi

incidently we're both on th bipolar spectrum so longterm maybe for the best that we are not together

but i dont where to start now
im not sure what i want
but I feel a part of me is not fufilled
and I know sex is not the be all and end all
but I suppose Im sick of being sick and being sexual is tied up with my dientiy with being young
Ive joined an internet site but you have to search for girls or boys

Im so frustrated!!
I keep buying vintage dresses and lingerie as I often cant get out and winning bids on ebay seems to be a temporary thrill

which is making me laugh out loud even now that i type that, im probably the best dressed bi in brighton (who isnt getting any!)

some days by the time i have cooked I am zonked and thats a day for
other days I can walk for 2 hours and feel no symptoms

sex makes me feel alive despite being ill and i miss it

love to all

catalyst xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The one thing that strikes me is your statement "im not sure what i want but I feel a part of me is not fufilled." I can't tell if you are just talking about a need to have sex or if this is a statement indicating that you don't feel completed as a person unless you are in a relationship. Also, there appears to be a question about whether or not you feel you need to be in a relationship to have sex.

It is extremely difficult, if not impossible to have a continuing, stable relationship if you do not feel complete in and of yourself. You first have to work on liking yourself and being your own best friend. Then you will be able to take your time to find that someone who is truly compatible. I agree with AmericanBeauty that since you are bipolar that this might require some medication and/or therapy. As a psychologist, I find that most often regular maintenance of a medication regimen is the most important part of the treatment for those who are bipolar. The therapy is secondary.

If you have a need for a physical, sexual interludes, be safe about it. A friend with benefits would be good, but I don't think you are ready for emotional commitment until you have worked through your problems.

[catalyst]

hey there

thanks for your reply
I need to state however that I am in complete control of my bipolar, I work in mental health as well in self management techniques and have a really good relationship with all my health professionals
for example I cannot take anti depressants to help with energy for my ME as they may trigger a hypomania

I just simply recognised that in the longterm two bp people in a relationship can be quite turbulent although I know of others who manage this

I have a clear sense of self identity without being in a relationship but I believe that managing mutliple disabilities and feeling in control of my life is difficult and I feel slightly robbed of some elements of my life

I ahve cabin fever you see! I dont binge on sex or people but I think the shopping (which again is not putting me at any serious debt)
is part of frustration at not being able to leave my house when the ME is bad
My appearance is something I CAN control

I agree that at this stage Im a bit confused with the concept of polysexuality alot of bisexual people are, I personally feel that having bipolar in the background whilst not a current issue makes me a bit wary of polygamous realtinships as they blur some boundaries
however I do not judge people who are plural with their lifestyle, everyone has a style that suits them

i suppose Im looking forward to the future and wondering if the ME is permanent, and if so hwo much it might impact upon my lifestyle and choices including my sexual life

hope that makes sense

catalystxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[bityme]

hey there

thanks for your reply
I need to state however that I am in complete control of my bipolar, I work in mental health as well in self management techniques and have a really good relationship with all my health professionals
for example I cannot take anti depressants to help with energy for my ME as they may trigger a hypomania

I just simply recognised that in the longterm two bp people in a relationship can be quite turbulent although I know of others who manage this

I have a clear sense of self identity without being in a relationship but I believe that managing mutliple disabilities and feeling in control of my life is difficult and I feel slightly robbed of some elements of my life

I ahve cabin fever you see! I dont binge on sex or people but I think the shopping (which again is not putting me at any serious debt)
is part of frustration at not being able to leave my house when the ME is bad
My appearance is something I CAN control

I agree that at this stage Im a bit confused with the concept of polysexuality alot of bisexual people are, I personally feel that having bipolar in the background whilst not a current issue makes me a bit wary of polygamous realtinships as they blur some boundaries
however I do not judge people who are plural with their lifestyle, everyone has a style that suits them

i suppose Im looking forward to the future and wondering if the ME is permanent, and if so hwo much it might impact upon my lifestyle and choices including my sexual life

hope that makes sense

catalystxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You cleared up some of the misconceptions I had from your last post. It sounds as though you really do have your act together.

I fully understand your "cabin fever" that has developed as a result of the M.E. My late wife suffered from it for about 7 years prior to her passing. We were able to give her some relief and restore functioning by a combination of medication (xanax), CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and GET (Graded Exercise Therapy). The most important part was identification of the trigger points resulting pain and the development of the exercises which helped to lessen the pain. We could then design behaviors which were the most likely to reduce the number and frequency of onset.

Since you are unable to utilize the anti-depressants, you might talk to your health care professionals about the CBT and GET, if you haven't already.

But one thing is for sure, if your shopping is putting you in debt, you have to find a replacement for that behavior.

[catalyst]

no the shopping is not putting me in debt
all of my clothes and shoes and most of my furniture is second hand
and i mean at good prices

I have never been in debt despite the bipolar dx
I tend to go to the library and get out the maximum books i can if I worry i am overspending

Im not materialistic at all if you came to my house its just a load of old shoes and clothes but i love em all

I make costumes and novelty cakes for people, im a creative person and putting on very colourful clothes lifts my soul as much as going to a beautiful garden

I dont buy randomly I look for specific magical items over periods of months or even years im very fussy
as I havent been able to go out, Ive saved money there as I get better I wont be inside so much and then i can go out play and wear my garments

doing boring things in fabulous shoes should not be underrated

I recycle alot of textiles and health permitting will be creating an owl and the pussycat costume using a vintage catsuit, and a toy owl for the arm and a boat around the waist

you see im a kittie seeking my owl

sometimes i get offers of cybersex as this is accessible if you are housebound but ive only done this in relationships previously
fetish clubs are really useful and I can totally dress up and then sit down the whole evening and watch others!

Im happy in myself i just wish i could share that

cat xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[darkeyes]

Replace it?? Not on ya Nellie..it dus howeva compliment it amazinly brill.. an has been an often still is the catalyst 2 sum triff sex!!!!:bigrin::tong: