There's no business like the 'no show' business

[by~his~side]

Ok, here goes my song and dance about 'no show-ers'.

Either we make the first connection to an ad or we receive an email from an interested guy. It's a good idea to email back and forth a time or two to get a sense of what the persons about, right? If there's mutual interest then it's time to set up a meet, right? We always pick a very public place and we always make sure it's convenient for both. Let me say it again-We make SURE it's convenient for both. Then why don't these guys show up?? Do they like wasting other peoples time? Are they not serious about meeting other bi men? Are they so insecure that they fear the guy they are meeting won't like what he sees? What is the effing problem??
Is this just a game of cat and mouse to see if anyone will take the bait?
I know some of you have experienced this before. It can't just be my guy.
Why act all interested if you're not? Isn't that typical high school behavior when we haven't yet learned how to represent ourselves?

Alrighty.....I've vented and I feel slightly better.
Any helpful insight would be appreciated.
Oh, and you 'no showers' are invited to respond as well. (But you'll probably type out your response and then delete. The equivillant of not showing)

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

You'll find that alot hon, and not just in the Bi world but in the straight world as well.
I think some people (I wont say just men) talk a good game behind their computer/phone/ect but when it comes down to actually facing facts about admitting that they Are Bi, they get frozen feet and dont follow through. Or you get Mr "Oh yeah, I'm bi, the little woman is joining us, right?"
You'll find many who are just flattering the bull to get the cow..pardon the terminology.
It happens more commonly than you know, Loves. Its infuriating, its frustrating, and its dumb...but it does happen. All you can do is keep trying and dont get down-hearted. There's someone out there for you, just keep 'Toad Tossing" and hope for the Prince to cum..er..come.
Silly Cat

[bi bi baby]

Gotta just keep on keepin on. All roads lead to Rome as they say. If it was easy, everybody would be doing it. Got a few hits myself with no further response. Keep the faith.

[Realist]

Same experiences, here, too. I understand that I'm older and bisexual and that everyone can't deal with that. So I tell them, up front, everything I think that may prevent meeting and building a relationship. However, some will entice, tempt, and even say things that are very endearing, but when it comes time to show up...nada!

I don't know what motivates anyone to go to such trouble to respond and share intimate things with a correspondent, then after getting hopes up, fail to show! Who knows?

Anyway, there is someone out there, who will be exactly who you want and need, so don't give up! The waiting and anxiety may be stressful, but when the right one comes along, it should be a speciail event!

[mooon]

And way too often.

I have been stood up quite a few times.
I always arrange the meet at some convenient, neutral, and public place that is non-threatening. That way I (or he) can feel free to leave if it becomes uncomfortable.

One time, the guy at least had the guts to admit it later, in an email; he had cruised by, but had just chickened out.

I think many guys like the fantasy, but are scared to death to carry it through.
It has gotten to the point that I suggest meeting after just a few emails. This is because there have been some guys I had very good exchanges with that later proved to be flakes.

Craig's list is the WORST for this. Even on this site I have had good exchanges with guys, and then had them just disappear. What is with that?
I think some were secretly on the DL, and were scared because I am NOT. Or maybe they had fulfilled enough fantasy and scared themselves?

But then, a while back I met a very nice fellow on this very site! We are now good friends.

You just have to have a thick skin, and keep trying. It can be very frustrating.

[TrimBeardHairyBod]

Hi, everyone.

I'll go you one better. Twice within the past year, I've been stood up only to receive e-mails the next day demanding to know where I'd been at the appointed time. I'd previously sent both couples a current photo and precise details of the date, time and place. The pub in question was rather large and I'd added 'I shall be standing near the fruit machine at the back.' There was no way I could have missed or overlooked these people as they came in. I had photos of them too.

Grrrrrrrrr

[boca.openminded]

Ok, I understand chickening out but (like the post said) have the guts to at least tell you that he chickened out & why the following day. This way you at least understand what he was going through.

For me who is still very bi curious I have met 3 men but only when I feel comfortable. Yes, i've been asked to meet but I do not because I know if I'm not comfortable then I too will chicken out.

The 3 men I did meet were at public places, we had some good chats but we never (probably a chemistry thing) met again. I am ok with that but at least both of us had the guts to meet.

Chickening out is just a coward act and to be honest you are better off finding out now.

good luck!

[Fresia]

Bump it up!