older/younger female relationships

[Realist]

A while back, I was discussing this subject, at a party, with a married lady I'd known for years. It's something I've rarely seen in print and have only heard of, from a lady, a very few times.

We had been talking about bisexuals and how they came to be bi. She admitted that she had some bi experiences and I told her that I had, too.

That began the subject of how we got started. I feel that most begin with their peers. She told me she'd been introduced to sex by a much older friend of her mother's. I also had been seduced by a much older man when I was 14. She was 12, herself.

I know that what my seducer did was illegal and, could be considered as rape, but he was gentle, always said he would stop if I asked him to, plus I loved every minute of it. I do not feel that it had any traumatic/detrimental effect on me, either. The lady said she also held no ill feelings toward her seducer.

I feel that my situation was not uncommon, but that her's was. I really don't think older women are as prone to seducing younger women/girls, as older men are.

A person's first experience has always interested me, but I seldom hear of how the ladies get introduced to their first times, by older women.

If any Lady would care to share their first times, (It doesn't have to be with older ones) I'd be extremely interested to read your comments, impressions, and how you think it affected your life after that.

[cand86]

Reminds me of that controversial bit in "The Vagina Monologues" that had to be taken out, with the woman recalling being seduced by an older woman (with alcohol, nonetheless) when she was underage, even going as far to say ""Now people say it was a kind of rape . . . Well, I say if it was rape, it was a good rape.". Stirred up quite a bit of trouble!

Personally, my introduction to the same sex was with someone my same age, but I've heard of more than a few women introduced by older women.

It does disturb me that there are adults out there who are either actively looking for minors (which sounds an awful lot like pedophilia or at least hebephilia), or do not have the sound sense to tamp down an inappropriate attraction if it arises on either side. I mean, it's one thing to feel attraction to a 16 year-old, and quite another to feel attraction to a 12 year-old and act on it. Although part of me wonders if the people doing this are those who have had similar introduced-by-an-older-person experiences in their own past.

I definitely feel that many people have had such experiences that were positive, happy, and as consensual as they can be with the uninformed and not-yet-mature consent of an adolescent. And, of course, there are far too many who did not actually want it, but didn't have the words or the strength to refuse, who look back and feel like they were manipulated and preyed upon and violated. And that's where the problem lies- nobody can know for sure how consensual the sex is when minors are involved, and especially not when it's between minors and adults and there are all sorts of other factors involved, like the authority an adult carries and the feeling that you can't say no. And that's precisely why we have the age of consent in our laws.

That's my :2cents:

[TaylorMade]

I was 18, she was 30. I sought her out. I waited until I was 18 to go after older women because I never wanted her to get in trouble if we were caught, and I wanted to be able to say that in the eyes of the law I knew what I was doing.

As a victim of sexual abuse as a youth, I admit it, I can't help but have contempt for older people who go after younger people.

*Taylor*

[KillNillvol33]

This is a pretty interesting topic here. My first experiance was with a girl the same age as me. Which was at the tender age of 12. But she was seduced by an older woman who was a family friend. At the time i thought of it being weird, but i can recall when i was 16 i had wished i was seduced by an older woman. Not at 12 but at age 15 and up. I thought i was crazy but i felt that maybe it would help me in some way.

[Realist]

Cand86

You're right, there's something very wrong with a grown-up, who preys on those too young. I was taught to always be respectful and mind my elders and was in awe of most grown-ups, so it may have been easier for him to get me to do what he wanted, than if I'd been taught to say "NO!". Still, I don't know if I would have said no.

Even though, I harbor no ill feelings against my seducer (he's long been dead) I do feel that I was too young and immature to handle the serious desires developed from what he taught me. I was probably less mature than many my age (14) because I'd been so sheltered at home. Truthfully, though, I do not feel that my long-term relationships with others suffered because of it.

I guess it can be argued, that some are more mature at an earlier age, but nonetheless, the laws would never take that into consideration.

Taylor,

You showed great maturity, intelligence, and empathy for your first time. I doubt if she could have resisted you, if you'd begun your seduction, sooner. That's a good reflection on you.

KILLNILL,

Yes, this is an interesting subject and one that is not often discussed. Because of my GF's early interest in sexuality, my own introduction at 14, and some lady-friends seductions by older people over the years, I have developed an interest in how others were initiated, too.

I've heard many incidents of how boys were first involved, sexually, but not many women have revealed these specific things.

I appreciate each of your comments.