Question about a friendship

[Confused4life]

So I have been friends with this girl for about a year. We hang out with our kids, talk on the phone everyday and go horseback riding together. Last night we were on the phone talking about going out drinking and dancing. She told me that when she goes out with her friends, they go as gay couples (they are all married, as am I) to avoid unwanted pick-ups from men. She said she usually has her sister as her "partner" as she doesn't want another woman bumping and grinding on her shit and enjoying it (her words). So I guess the question is should I keep my bisexuality from her? We talk about some pretty serious stuff and I believe that we are pretty close friends. However, I don't want to lose our friendship if I tell her I am bisexual and she freaks out. I also don't want her to find out later and think that I lied to her or something. I am not really attracted to her, I enjoy her friendship. We have a lot in common and enjoy the same types of hobbies. My husband knows I am bisexual as do a couple of other close friends. I still haven't been about to come out to anyone in my family except my step-mom. Any advice?

Thanks
C4L

[Realist]

Confused,

It doesn't sound like she's interested (re: her comment about others coming on to her) However, she could be sending up smoke screens, thinking you'd disapprove.

Who you tell, or not, is your business; I feel the same way you do, only the ones I may be intimate with need to know. If you trust her and want to tell her, do what you wish.

If you're in doubt, when you're in private with her, bring up the subject of bisexuality (maybe referring to a scenario using "someone" you've read about) and see how she reacts. That may give you freedom to tell her more, or convince you that you should tell her nothing.

I'd be interested in hearing how this turns out.

[fuborks]

:eek:???

I not sure why the assumption of *intimate interest* should be a consideration.

Otherwise hon-If you're friends you're friends and if you come out today or ten years from today your friend should respect who are either way and not attach any assumption of intimate interest either way because of it.

[eddy10]

Tough situation ... I think you need to clear the air with your friend. If you do not it will fester in your mind to no good end. If she is a real friend she will understand. And, just maybe, she is bi also, but like you, does not know how to break the ice. Realist's suggestion might be a good one. Bring up the subject in an obtuse way to test the waters. However, that could backfire in that if she is bi, she might put up a denial screen thinking she might lose your friendship. Maybe the direct, open discussion is best after all.

[Confused4life]

Thanks for the advice. I think for now I might just keep it to myself. If the subject comes up, I will probably confide in her. I like things the way they are with our friendship. I have had a couple of bad experiences where I told friends who I was close to...people I had been friends with for years. They just turned their backs and walked away. I don't think I am ready to deal with that again.

Thanks again

C4L

[Realist]

Been down that road, myself!

However, I do tell anyone I expect to be intimate with, now.