Am I being too uptight ?

[guycurious]

My wife and I are in the lifestyle and have our profile on a few different sites. I list myself as bi.

We keep getting emails from others who list themselves as straight but claim to be bisexual. When we receive such emails we respond that we are looking for bisexual people. Then they respond, "I'm open minded" or "I will let you touch me" or "As long as your wife is there..."

We thank them for their offers but turn them away. Our attitude is that if you are not willing to express your sexuality you're just not someone we are interested in.

Am I being too uptight ?

[littlerayofsunshine]

I don't think you are being too uptight. My husband and I are both bisexual. And have had ads out as a couple. Which ended up being a big pain in the ass. Even if you clearly state that it may not be a threesome or the wife is not currently playing at the moment. We still got emails asking all about me, which wasn't what we were aiming for. We also stated that the men would have to meet and get to know each other first before I would even consider if I wanted to join in or not. And got replies asking if the wife was going to be there. I also got annoyed with the responses "Sure I'll let you suck my dick as long as your wife is there or I can fuck your wife".

We wouldn't give the ones that listed themselves as straight as much consideration as the ones that listed themselves as bi or unsure. And they would have to be willing to meet hubby alone.

It may make for less sexual opportunities, but since thats not exactly what he is looking for or I for that matter, its just dandy with us. Cause the ones we do choose to play with either together or apart. Will be better sexual experiences anyway. Nothing to hide. More trusting...ect ect....

So I feel you guys are just respecting your guidelines and desires and there is nothing wrong with that.

Good Luck to ya.

[Trek7200]

I would always wonder in the back of my mind "If they aren't honest upfront about what they are interested in,what else are they not being honest about".

But that's just me. I understand many bi or curious men don't advertise themselves as such on swingers sites because it seems most swingers think of bi men as carriers of the plague.

[rissababynta]

My husband used to get emails from guys all the time (after stating that I had no involvement and wanted no involvment) saying that they wouldn't mind meeting up as long as they got a crack at me too. First of all, we would both be pissed off that they assumed my husband was so desperate that he would have to give in to my involvment just so he could get some. Second, they would speak about me as if I were an object and had no say. Like my husband was my pimp. "Oh it doesn't matter if she said that she has no interest, let me get a crack at her anyway"...as if my husband was the one that controlled my vagina...

Anyways...yeah...these type of people piss me off to no end...

[foreverbi]

My wife and I are in the lifestyle and have our profile on a few different sites. I list myself as bi.

We keep getting emails from others who list themselves as straight but claim to be bisexual. When we receive such emails we respond that we are looking for bisexual people. Then they respond, "I'm open minded" or "I will let you touch me" or "As long as your wife is there..."

We thank them for their offers but turn them away. Our attitude is that if you are not willing to express your sexuality you're just not someone we are interested in.

Am I being too uptight ?


As much as it pains me to admit it, but my wife & I (her unwillingness) are NOT into the life style. Although I think it would be HOT if she were to see me sucking a dick or getting fucked, she does NOT have to be there for me to enjoy a man.:2cents: I would love the opportunity to prove myself. :tongue:

[littlerayofsunshine]

My husband used to get emails from guys all the time (after stating that I had no involvement and wanted no involvment) saying that they wouldn't mind meeting up as long as they got a crack at me too. First of all, we would both be pissed off that they assumed my husband was so desperate that he would have to give in to my involvment just so he could get some. Second, they would speak about me as if I were an object and had no say. Like my husband was my pimp. "Oh it doesn't matter if she said that she has no interest, let me get a crack at her anyway"...as if my husband was the one that controlled my vagina...

Anyways...yeah...these type of people piss me off to no end...


I know what you mean, my husband and I are listed as a couple on one site, but he clearly states I am not participating and it is all about him.. But yet, there are still guys who in the first message they send.... ask if I am going to be there to watch at least. :rolleyes: And then when my husband kindly replies " NO she's not, as my ad states, this is for me and about me, and is not to include her". Then they send back "What a let down" or "Too bad I think we could have had fun". WTF?? I told him to reply "Well since first impressions are the most important and yours wasn't a good one, I doubt the rest of you would be either". But he won't do it..LMAO.... I feel bad for hubby though cause it does frustrate him.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

*most swingers think of bi men as carriers of the plague.*

This is a large misconception. Not all swingers or swingers groups believe this. In the Lifestyle group that I am a core member of, single bi men And single bi women are welcomed with open arms. They have just as much rights to attend our functions and have fun as the married/coupled ones do.

And as for the couple....thats a common happening, Loves. Its like butter up the cow to get the calf syndrome...some guys will say they are bi just to get with you, not your honey..:}
Good luck, be safe.
Cat

[FalconAngel]

This is a common problem.

Guys will lie to you both to play with just him or just her. We have had that happen 2 times. Never again.

Every time a straight or gay guy tries to play us like that, there is always something in what they say that gives them away. They can't help it. If they get to a first time meet up, they give themselves away by their words or actions. Particularly if they think that we are going to jump in the sack right away. When they find out that that isn't going to happen right away, we never hear from them again.

All of that is why we state that I am Bi, right in our profile. We also state that we only look for BI men, but that does not seem to keep all of the straight guys from trying.

During chat one time, there was a guy that said that my wife deserved a "real" man. Her response was that I'm man enough for her and another man as well and could he match that.
That was one asshole that we never heard from again.

They are out there, but you have to learn to pick the good ones from the bad ones, just like any other dating situation.

[drwilsontx]

My wife and I are in the lifestyle and have our profile on a few different sites. I list myself as bi.

We keep getting emails from others who list themselves as straight but claim to be bisexual. When we receive such emails we respond that we are looking for bisexual people. Then they respond, "I'm open minded" or "I will let you touch me" or "As long as your wife is there..."

We thank them for their offers but turn them away. Our attitude is that if you are not willing to express your sexuality you're just not someone we are interested in.

Am I being too uptight ?

My girlfriend and I are in the Lifestyle. I am bi and don't advertise.. I don't look to the lifestyle to satisfy my bi tendencies. funny thing is you go on the lifestyle(swingers) sites all the women are bi/bi-curious, and none of the guys are, it's like a f*ing disease that the women get. Relax, enjoy and when you get that urge, go for it. My gf finds it hot, we have shared many a cock. you have to feel out the situation your in and go with it