The assumption that crossdressers are'nt mostly gay or bi!!

[PrettyFlowingGown]

I'm amazed at the assumption made by partcurely, gay people, that crossdressers are'nt gay or bi. When I go out dresssed as a lady to my local gay pub, the gay people mostly tolerate us, but dont mix with us (although some do). I've often asked, why they dont mix with us much, and the reply is usually "Cause they cant understand why a man would dress as a woman" or "cause we are'nt gay or bi, we are attracted to women".
Well....I am attracted to women, very attracted, but its in a envious way, i like them as role models, not so much just sexually.
....and when I'm dressed up, Its an honor when a clean man appreciates me and makes a lovely comment on a dress i'm wearing or how nice I look. Gays dont take in this. Often I get with a man, who appraises me, and its the best sex I can imagine.
I've even had sexual encounters with other crossdressers. I'm meeting a crossdresser in town next saturday night, and we are staying at a gay place overnight. We cant wait to get with each other, and kiss, touch and suck each others cocks all night. We've had sex before, but only casually. Crossdressers (especiallyme) can be gay or bi.

[Long Duck Dong]

its not a assumption, its a viable statement, not all people that enjoy ladies clothing are gay or bi.....

cross dressing is not a sexuality, its a style of expression.....

there is also the fact that not all people can relate to or desire to be with crossdressers / people that enjoy the clothing of the opposite gender

[rissababynta]

I'm amazed at the assumption made by partcurely, gay people, that crossdressers are'nt gay or bi. When I go out dresssed as a lady to my local gay pub, the gay people mostly tolerate us, but dont mix with us (although some do). I've often asked, why they dont mix with us much, and the reply is usually "Cause they cant understand why a man would dress as a woman" or "cause we are'nt gay or bi, we are attracted to women".
Well....I am attracted to women, very attracted, but its in a envious way, i like them as role models, not so much just sexually.
....and when I'm dressed up, Its an honor when a clean man appreciates me and makes a lovely comment on a dress i'm wearing or how nice I look. Gays dont take in this. Often I get with a man, who appraises me, and its the best sex I can imagine.
I've even had sexual encounters with other crossdressers. I'm meeting a crossdresser in town next saturday night, and we are staying at a gay place overnight. We cant wait to get with each other, and kiss, touch and suck each others cocks all night. We've had sex before, but only casually. Crossdressers (especiallyme) can be gay or bi.

I don't know why anyone would make a statement about any particular kind of person not being bi, gay, or straight. You just never know.

[PrettyFlowingGown]

I have my own clothes, a whole wardrobe full. The gay club I go too, even has crossdress nights held by one of the regulers, cause its one of the few places here in brisbane we can go too......Most of the other Cd's that go there are hetero, and only like women.

[cand86]

In 1997, Richard F. Docter and Virginia Prince did a survey of 1,032 male cross-dressers on a variety of issues, and found that 87% described themselves as heterosexual.

So it would seem that the assumption that the majority are straight rings pretty true.

[MarieDelta]

Honey, gay men dont partner with women...

If you want to pick up a gay man, you are better off going in dressed in clean decent MEN's clothes.

If you want to be partnered as a female , then that is a different issue, and I would suggest you explore other venues.

Don't, however, go into a straight bar and pick up men. That is like tap dancing on a bomb.

[TwylaTwobits]

I have no intention of offending anyone although I am sure I will. I must say that lately this site is less about community and learning about bisexuality and how my love deals with it and how it affects his life. I had learned a lot from some very kind people. But it is disheartening to continue seeing threads that are only about hooking up or this is the label you should use. I have had gay and bi and trans friends my entire life. I called them what they wanted me to call them and they were happy.

So what is this hangup about assuming things about people? Assume does break down to making an ass out of you and me.

[izzfan]

This topic did make me chuckle a bit, most of the articles I've read about crossdressers are usually emphatic about pointing out that most of us are not gay/bi and that we shouldn't be mistaken as such - one example can be found here: http://www.mycdlife.com/2009/05/crossdressing-myth-1-crossdressers-are-gay

The proportions of gay/bi crossdressers to straight crossdressers are probably no different to the distitbutions of sexualities in non-crossdressers (eg: about 90% straight and about 10% gay/bi).

Now as a bisexual crossdresser/androgyne, I'd have to agree that there are very few men who seem interested in crossdressers in a sexual sense ("admirers" aside). This is definately a shame.

[rissababynta]

I have no intention of offending anyone although I am sure I will. I must say that lately this site is less about community and learning about bisexuality and how my love deals with it and how it affects his life. I had learned a lot from some very kind people. But it is disheartening to continue seeing threads that are only about hooking up or this is the label you should use. I have had gay and bi and trans friends my entire life. I called them what they wanted me to call them and they were happy.

So what is this hangup about assuming things about people? Assume does break down to making an ass out of you and me.

I totally agree. It seems that the community used to be about living and let live, love each other, support each other (except for the few troll occasions) and now we are arguing about how people aren't better than others because they aren't "out"...some support and live and let live concept...this site is starting to get run into the dirt a little. We need to pick it back up.

[TwylaTwobits]

Thanks for that, Rissa, I was about half afraid to post that.

[rissababynta]

Thanks for that, Rissa, I was about half afraid to post that.

Don't be, it's the truth isn't it? lol.

[elian]

I staffed an information tent at a pridefest one time and the tent next to ours was staffed by a group of men who were straight but liked to wear women's clothing. To be honest I was surprised to learn they were straight but honestly it didn't really bother me to any great extent one way or the other. I figure if they aren't hurting anybody why should I be concerned?

The tent on the OTHER side was staffed by the local belly dancers..the inside of the tent was concealed but the sound of hearing high N-R-G Turkish dance music followed by tambourines and the occasional yeowl made life interesting for a few hours.

[Jackal]

I thought that the term "cross dressers" was meant to cover men who wear women's clothing (seems that women can't cross dress very well these days) no matter what their gender or sexual ID. The term Drag Queen (and I'm not sure how that term is regarded by said drag queens) referred to gay men who liked to dress up but were male identified and did not want to be women.

I'm not sure its a bad thing that people don't conflate female clothing and 'feminine' behavior with male homosexual tendencies. Of course it would be nicer if they could just assume that he likes dresses and learn about him as an individual from there but that's not really the way the world works.

[cand86]

^ I was always under the impression that "drag queen" (or "drag king") were reserved for people who wear clothing of the opposite sex or impersonate the opposite sex for some sort of performance (or in a performative venue). Cross-dressers, on the other hand, do it simply because they like it (whether sexual or not), and often do it privately.

As a result, drag queens and kings are usually very flamboyant and over-the-top, often greatly exaggerating femininity (for queens) or masculinity (for kings), sometimes to the point of mocking them (i.e. playing up cattiness or bitchiness for queens, playing up the macho stereotype for kings). Cross-dressers seem to be more low-key and their garb is usually more "normal".

A good example might be this: cross-dresser (http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/images/09-07-crossdresser.jpg) vs. drag queen (http://www.splendicity.com/files/415/2008/05/drag-queen.jpg).

Having said that, though, I can understand why people might think that "cross-dresser" connotes heterosexuality and "drag queen" connotes homosexuality, given that most drag queens, it seems, are gay.

[jamiehue]

Hell im havin fun and i hope u are too.