Honesty is the best policy......:(

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Sigh...sometimes men make me sooo horribly mad and disgusted...Not all mind you, but a few do. I gotta start wading in a different Dating Pool....

A while back I started dating again after a year long Hyatus(sp) because of my right leg. The libido took a complete dump (pardon the terminology) and I didnt have sexual relations for that entire year. I didnt feel sexy or desireable what so ever there for a while. Now that the leg problem was handled, (without surgery I might add) the libido started to creep back in slowly, and got "Kick-started" back up in full in September of this year. The Old Minx was back..lol

So just when things were going good, I developed a little spotting. Not uncommon for a woman thats been in menopause for a year or so. No biggie, until it became down right hemorraging and has continued ever since November first. :rolleyes:

Turns out I may have to have a Hysterectomy, and I was honest and told the men that I was seeing that this may occure. All of a sudden all of them except one have begun to Craw Fish, and back-peddle. No one seems to want anything to do with a woman who is going to be as one termed a few mins ago, "Damaged goods" and "What good is it to go out with you when I'm not going to be getting anything out of it?".
Its a very good thing he wasnt standing in front of me. He would have looked good going over the railing of my porch....

I'd love to have a friend to pal around with during my recovery, and just have some platonic fun until the fun stuff is healed good enough for some good ole hardcore romping..:bigrin: I'm not going to be laid up forever..just 6 to 8 weeks. That doesnt seem too much to ask to have to be patiant until I can play again....:rolleyes:
Cant men just accept a woman without having sex with them? And men wonder why women sometimes turn Lesbian.....lol
Disheartened Cat:(

[Giggles100]

Your asking straight men to do anything and not expect sex in return :eek:

Your right not to slate all of us men though. Some of us are Gay/Bi ;) and like to have platonic fun :bigrin:

Ah I am sorry though. People can be harsh and selfish on time and don't think its just the guys who do this the girls can be just as harsh :(

Anyway :three: I think that icon demonstrates my feelings!

[onewhocares]

First of all my dear, you must think of your health first and foremost. I know all to well of the trials and tribulations of this part of womans life. As some of the comments on my thread about menopause have shown, there ARE some remarkable men out there, one who value the woman as a whole package and not as a representation of her parts. While it may take some effort to find such a prize among the fellows you referred to...they will be worth the effort. There is more to you than just your inside mechanical parts..if a man is not willing to be a friend and companion at this time, he may not be worth sharing your new self after the surgery.

Belle

[tenni]

"if a man is not willing to be a friend and companion at this time, he may not be worth sharing your new self after the surgery."

"Your asking straight men to do anything and not expect sex in return "

Sorry to read about your situation. Hopefully, after the operation and a few months healing things look up for you. I copied the two statements because in a lot of respects they sum up your situation.

You mention that you are dating several men. You don't mention how intimately sexually you have been with them but I'm guessing not a lot due to your present condition (I could be wrong though). Since it isn't one guy that you are dating, the reality is that you were fishing around...right? No real commitment to any of them. A guy is going to look at the situation. If there has been no sex and you are heading for an operation with another two months healing required, well, giggles statement comes in pretty strongly. Men are called pricks for more than the fact that we have em. They have calculated their investment and future investment required. They cashed out now maybe because they had not nor had you invested that much.

The one guy who is hanging in is really worth looking at though. Maybe, he wants just platonic. If so, ask yourself why? If he really has been developing feelings for you, where are you in that department? Are you going to use him as a platonic friend...then go with the first dick that turns you on?...dumping him? Are you considering him for a long term thing? Don't give him the song and dance, I like you like a friend but who knows what might happen in the future "stuff".

Sorry, if I'm a bit blunt. I may be completely wrong.

[citystyleguy]

the title says it all! so now that the field is clear of the morons (yes, to all and any man that reads this, heartless morons), you can focus on the healing part, and i would pray that you get the support from those that can provide you with what you need.

women pay like hell to be the incredible people that they are; cant answer what makes so many men the bastards that they are, but many of us try to provide what a woman wants and needs, unfortunatly even the best of us are clueless, and need all the assistance that we can get!

with what i have witnessed, as a woman you will have the inner reserves and strengths to succeed, but even then again i hope your will be surrounded by those that can catch you when you need it most!

[pelokwin]

You know, as a man, I gotta say MOST MEN SUCK, but keep your head up cuz the good ones are out there and they are looking for just what you are able to give.
Pelo

[Long Duck Dong]

lol cat, its cos most guys can not think past their dick..... and I base that around the number of guys that will not have a V, but are more than happy to have their partners/ wives have a H..... then the guys will say something moronic like, ok you have had surgery.... but what about sex....???????

anybody wanna argue that with me, go for it... I am basing my opinion around what I have seen and heard with my own ears....

on a better note.... and less male bashing..... my mother had the full works removed at 37... and she married to my step father at that time.... they ended up divorcing, and he went off tomcatting.....and much to my amusement, lasted 7 years and found that sex is not a substitute for love..... my mother and him have since remarried... and they have a iron clad platonic marriage now...

maybe I am old school.... or maybe I learnt what head to think with.... but I am the same.... to me love beats sex....and while sex is nice... a hug and a kiss and a * I love you * can make the world of differcult during the hard times.... specially when its not time for a * I love you, lets fuck *

lets face it, I am not a lady... so I am not that well advised about having a plumber clean out the pipes... but I do gather that its a possibility that you may need some meds to rebalance the four legged cat....but one thin I have heard from many ladies... is that they take the monthly essentials and have a goodbye surfboard / cotton mice party....and based around what I do know.... for a lot of ladies, that is very uplifting and saves a small fortune....

either way, cat babe..... who said you need ya extra bits to purr with pleasure.... and when you have that itch that needs stratching... its nice to know that a lil neutering doesn't mean that you can not petted to ya hearts content

[12voltman59]

I can understand your feelings about someone you had been with for a time would reject you sexually because of a situation with your health that puts ya on the sidelines for a short time----that is just one of those things that happens in life.

It is too bad your friends as otherwise supposedly mature adults would be so shallow that they let their little heads do the thinking for them--I guess their hearts are down there too--must be damn small ones--(both heart and head are small at least in a figurative sense!)

Cat---if they backed away from ya-----you are better off without them---I hope that they get the same sorta treatment from women when their wicks "can't stick"----things like that pretty much happens to us all in one form or another at some point in our lives.

God--what a damn stupid thing---we are so much more than our sexual organs. I really have no use for those who think that our sexual organs are the most important part of the human body!!

I am glad that ya had one guy you knew who it didn't bother him---good for him---he might be your keeper if other things are there!

Don't let those aholas get ya down, Cat--they are worthless crap bags!!

[still_shy]

Cat darlin, if they can't treat you better than that then they sure as hell don't deserve the rewards when things look up for you. It reminds me of when my husband and I were first dating. I was having similar problems and ended up having surgery as well and couldn't have sex for several weeks. With much trepidation I told him about it, fully expecting him to get pissed or just walk away...after all, we hadn't even had sex yet and we were looking at even longer now without it. I'll never forget his response. Your job is to get better and not worry, my job is to help you achieve that. I think it was that day that I fell in love with him. He was wonderful and true to his word, brought me chocolate and flowers and visited every night while I was recovering. Then...when the doctor gave the green light, we had the best sex of my life :D

Be patient, hun. You'll find that friend you're looking for :)

[welickit]

If they are starting to see you as damaged goods you would be better off buying a new vibrator and 6 to 8 weeks worth of batteries and forget them. :bipride: :2cents:

[_Joe_]

It's easy to accept a woman without the idea of having sex. That's what Marriage is for!

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

lol Thanks guys and gals for the kind words. First of all, I hadnt had sexual relations with any except the one who didnt run. The rest I was "Toad Tossing" I had dated a couple of the 5 and hadnt had sex with them. The rest I was just talking to with the possibility of dating later on.
My friend that didnt run like a scared rabbit, has been behind me all the way on this mess and sees me as more than a voracious lover in bed. (Altho he misses that too..and so do I!) lol
But like I told a couple of you who wrote to me, I'm not going to be laid up forever, and when they come a'knockin', they can fukn well stand out in the cold...lol
Big hugs to all of you. :}
Your Cat

[tenni]

Well Cat
Then it pretty much came down the way that I thought that it would. The guy who is staying sounds like a possible keeper.

The others are just acting like most guys who are not involved with you too deeply might act. If they stopped even sending a phone message etc....shame on them.

Hoping you a quick recovery and happiness;)

[Karasel]

All those guys leaving you because of some surgery is the reason why I don't date straight men and tend to stick with girls. Guys are mostly pigs when it comes to sex, bi and gay men aren't as hurtful as straight men, in my experience... But still.. pigs.

I hope you recover from your surgery with flying colors, and I wish you success in your new dating pool.

... Wow, while typing this I was searching my memory banks and realized that I've never dated a straight person before... weird.

[_Joe_]

You know, I had a row with my wife last night actually how lucky she is that I am bi actualy, instead of a the typical straight normal man. I spelled it out for her in a way... and she doesn't seem to get it. Even when just about every single one of her girl friends, all whom seem to have normal straight husbands (met them all, didn't care for a single one of them) and if they aren't staring at a failed marriage in the face, or already started divorces, and one man is even mentally abusive to his wife...ugh I can go on. Point is I told her look how 'great' they are doing with a manly ol' straight man.

So in a way I see your point of view Karasel. THen again the lovely trade off is you are with a man who not only may be looking at other women in his free visual time but other men ><

[mikey3000]

Um, since when can't a post hysterectomy woman shag? Did they expect you to bear their children or something? WTF! Good riddance to them!

And good luck to you!!

[Doggie_Wood]

Cat, hon;

Did you say "Voracious Lover"?? WOOF WOOF GRRRRR WOOF! <doggie looks at flight availablities> when did ya say you would be up and about hon? :tongue:

Good ridance to the loosers Cat - sounds like ya got at least one good one ta lQQk forward to (ME!!) jk


Loves ya sweets
yer everlovin'
Doggie :doggie:

[rissababynta]

Joe-These are personality traits and are not linked to someone's sexual orientation at all.

The straight men I know who are married to women are very nice men and are not sex driven at all in their relationships from what they and their wives have told me, and are not mean or abusive to their wives at all.

Karasel-I'm not sure why you think that gay men somehow want women sexually or want to date women at all?

We're homosexual men and not sexually attracted to women at all despite what some women wish.

Even if we're closeted and force ourselves to have sex with you that doesn't mean that we're bisexual or somehow sexually attracted to you or any woman at all.

Thankfully I never got into the stupid idea that as a gay man I need to have fat ugly chunky women as fag hags for best friends like you see on TV and movies. :rolleyes:

I have some female friends but I relate better to my male friends and have more men as friends.

I find it rather tiresome and misandric that you think that all or most men, no
matter what their orientation is, are somehow pigs or are sex driven.

I have bisexual and straight male friends who are not sex pigs at all and they have told me stories about women who are sex pigs.

If someone's a whore or mainly sex driven this is not necessarily a bad thing and again it's a personality trait and one that is not linked to someone's gender or sexual orientation.

If someone thinks that they're damaged goods and so do people who they are trying to date or fuck and you're driving them away from you, then you probably are damaged goods with loads of drama, issues, and baggage that should not be sleeping with anyone or in a friendship, relationship, or dating anyone at all.

Wow, half this post was only borderline offensive :-/

[tenni]

Uh...how does a thread about male/female relationship when a woman needs a hysterectomy end up with someone introducing all kinds of ideas about homosexuals?..or maybe the question is "Why?"

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

[B]If someone thinks that they're damaged goods and so do people who they are trying to date or fuck and you're driving them away from you, then you probably are damaged goods with loads of drama, issues, and baggage that should not be sleeping with anyone or in a friendship, relationship, or dating anyone at all.

Uhmmm. WTF??? Did you not Read the posts clearly or what??? The ones who walked away are men that I Hadnt romped with, but who Thought they were going to Get to. When I explained about the surgery, then they ran on to find other persuits that Were fuckable right now.
Since you dont know me, dont be commenting on something you know nothing about.
Cat

[Doggiestyle]

Awwwww Honey I am really sorry to hear about all your problems! I hope you manage to get out of that hospital without getting whupp-ed too bad! I hope they have you purrrring like a kitten soon.

So, out of all your "dead end" guys you managed to find a keeper? GREAT, i'm happy for ya about that. I do wish for you to have a short recovery and a long time makin up for all your lost time.

Keep in touch, OK? Your friend, :doggie: