Experienced with mmf threesomes involving a spouse?

[mikey3000]

Both my wife and my BF have expressed interest in a 3some involving all of us, but I don't know if I want this. What are the possibilities? What could go wrong? What could go right? Am I being selfish if I don't want to be a part of it? Any advice would be appreciated?

[etncple]

First you need to talk with both your wife and friend, preferably together, and express any misgivings you have about a threesome, ask any questions you may have, and also answer any they may have. We have experienced mmf threesomes and both of us have had a great time. We did talk it over at first, what we wanted to do, see etc.. and we set up boundaries for areas neither of us was comfortable with, for example, she only feels comfortable doing anal with me. We also gave each other the right to end it any any time neither of us felt comfortable.

She wasn't sure how she would feel seeing me with another male, but said lets try and see what happens. She found it very erotic , very quickly, and jumped in the middle after a few minutes. I found it to be very liberating in the sense I wasn't "hiding" anything from her and we shared the experience. We are both very visual people so watching her with someone else was as big a turn on for me, as her seeing me and a male together.

Talk, talk, talk is the best answer I can give you.
Good Luck

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Ohh Sweetie, these can be very wonderful, but it has to be comfortable for all parties involved. If all 3 are attracted to one another it can be richly rewarding. But if you have any doubts, then talk it over with your lady and BF and let them know your misgivings on it.
Good luck babe. :}
Cat

[mikey3000]

Oh man. That's at the stage we're at right now.Talk, talk talk. And I think he's ok with it (it's been many years since he's been with a woman) and she's ok with it (has never been with ANYONE but me, ever and I know she wouldn't mind it at all), but the problem, of all things is with ME!!! I don't know if I want the two worlds to meet, so to say. I had every intension of keeping them separate. But now that each as expressed an interest in bringing the two together, I'm scared. Or am I being selfish keeping the two apart? Jeez, I really don't know.

But great advice guys, just please keep it comming. This one I can't figure out on my own right now.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

If you arent ready for it, then just Say So, Honey. Surely they can respect that enough to put your views first? I dont think its selfish, I just think its a personal preference.
Keep yer chin up, Darlin.
Cat

[etncple]

Oh man. That's at the stage we're at right now.Talk, talk talk. And I think he's ok with it (it's been many years since he's been with a woman) and she's ok with it (has never been with ANYONE but me, ever and I know she wouldn't mind it at all), but the problem, of all things is with ME!!! I don't know if I want the two worlds to meet, so to say. I had every intension of keeping them separate. But now that each as expressed an interest in bringing the two together, I'm scared. Or am I being selfish keeping the two apart? Jeez, I really don't know.

But great advice guys, just please keep it comming. This one I can't figure out on my own right now.

Since your wife has been supportive about your bisexuality and wants to share it with you, I honestly think by not doing so you could create problems at home. She may feel left out, hurt etc..... Our number one rule has always been we do this together, whether we are meeting a male or female, or we don't do it at all. I have no desire to play with others without her and even tho I have told her she could meet a female alone she would rather wait till we can share the experience than go it alone. That's just us, not saying our way is the only way to do it but it works for us.

[rissababynta]

Oh man. That's at the stage we're at right now.Talk, talk talk. And I think he's ok with it (it's been many years since he's been with a woman) and she's ok with it (has never been with ANYONE but me, ever and I know she wouldn't mind it at all), but the problem, of all things is with ME!!! I don't know if I want the two worlds to meet, so to say. I had every intension of keeping them separate. But now that each as expressed an interest in bringing the two together, I'm scared. Or am I being selfish keeping the two apart? Jeez, I really don't know.

But great advice guys, just please keep it comming. This one I can't figure out on my own right now.

I know EXACTLY what you mean. I'm ok with being with my man, and being with a girl, but not at the same time. I'm ok with him being with a man and being with me, but not at the same time (well that isn't totally true, I did tell him resently that the right guy, ok we could try it but it is not something I plan to go actively seeking anytime in the near future) and vice versa. I'll say it right out...I do NOT want to see him with another woman and when I have a woman in my life, it is not so I can play with everyone at the same time...

So yeah, I'd say if this is how you are feeling, definitely don't do it yet. If you do, that would be you basically just forcing yourself to try it, knowing that you don't want to, and then that can mess someone up emotionally.

[mikey3000]

Yeah, namely me. But he shares his partner (a guy) with me, so I kind of feel obligated. Etncple, yes you are right. I think she is already feeling left out. I think that is where any trouble may arise. She does accept me and my biness, and wants to be apart of that world with me, but for me that is my escape. If I let her into that world, I have no one, and nowhere else to run to, when I need an escape from all the women in my everyday world. It was kind of the point of me comming out, to show that I need someone just for me, to go to and recharge. I am surrounded by women, buth at work and at home, and I need my guy time alone.

[etncple]

Yeah, namely me. But he shares his partner (a guy) with me, so I kind of feel obligated. Etncple, yes you are right. I think she is already feeling left out. I think that is where any trouble may arise. She does accept me and my biness, and wants to be apart of that world with me, but for me that is my escape. If I let her into that world, I have no one, and nowhere else to run to, when I need an escape from all the women in my everyday world. It was kind of the point of me comming out, to show that I need someone just for me, to go to and recharge. I am surrounded by women, buth at work and at home, and I need my guy time alone.


Most guys need an "outlet" of some kind, whether it be golf, football games, fishing etc... I think it's the "kid" in us that men hate to give up. Do you see your male friend for social outings as well as sexual get togethers ?

[mikey3000]

Though he lives quite a distance away, we fly to meet in a city. And no it isn't just sex in the hotel room. We have a great time together. We have very similar interests and hobbies in many areas. I just like spending time with him. And he actually takes an active interest in my family too. He and my wife chat on the phone and msn quite often.

[rissababynta]

Yeah, namely me. But he shares his partner (a guy) with me, so I kind of feel obligated. Etncple, yes you are right. I think she is already feeling left out. I think that is where any trouble may arise. She does accept me and my biness, and wants to be apart of that world with me, but for me that is my escape. If I let her into that world, I have no one, and nowhere else to run to, when I need an escape from all the women in my everyday world. It was kind of the point of me comming out, to show that I need someone just for me, to go to and recharge. I am surrounded by women, buth at work and at home, and I need my guy time alone.

Sweetie, I understand where you are coming from with all of this, but please don't feel obligated to do anything. He doesn't have to share his partner with you, he isn't obligated to do so, that is his decision. It doesn't mean that has to be recipricated if you are uncomfortable with it.

[mikey3000]

Marissa, you are so right. And I must add that his partner is more than willing to be with me too, just like my wife is with him. No one is being talked into or coerced into anything. Just I think it's me who's stopping it. Do I have the right to hinder it if they really want it? Like I said, no one has an issue with it but me (for now). I might warm up to the idea eventually, maybe even next week, it's just that I've heard so many stories of this kind of think going bad, I'm scared that there could be hurt feelings all around and maybe some irrepairable dammage to relationships.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Mikey, dont listen to the Peanut gallery. You do what you feel is right for you To do, and make sure you're doing for you. :}
Cat

[alex_d]

Mikey...hope your wife finds a REAL man and dumps you like the worthless piece of trash you are, you do not deserve her, you're nothing more than a selfish prick, with no respect for your wife at all. You make me sick.

[rissababynta]

Like you'd know any better somehow?

What I wrote is true and it's only fair that Mikey's wife get a chance to have a 3 way or a male fuck buddy on the side since she does feels very left out since he goes off and has sex with his fuck buddies on the side and she never gets any cock and she actually wants a 3 way with Mikey and his male fuck buddy.

Don't be such a prude it's only a 3 way.

I'm sorry, I don't understand how what cat said makes her a prude...

[chellebarbie]

Both my wife and my BF have expressed interest in a 3some involving all of us, but I don't know if I want this. What are the possibilities? What could go wrong? What could go right? Am I being selfish if I don't want to be a part of it? Any advice would be appreciated?

Awesome go for it. live for the moment dont have regrets, a drink helps. she may be the one with the regrets if you dont hav a part in it.x

[bisexualman]

We have had a few mmf threesomes, but not with any of his bf's (they tend to be gay, not bi). When we look for a partner for both of us, we make sure he is bi, so that we both can enjoy the experience with him. What you need to do is be very clear on what each person's limits are: what is ok with each of you. Is intercourse ok? Anal? kissing? Once things get going, you don't want to have to stop in the middle to negotiate, if you get my drift. :bigrin: Make sure she is going to get the attention she wants/needs; is it just about you and your bf and she watches? Is he willing to participate with her? Are you going to be able to focus on her or are you going to be too distracted with him? These are real discussions and issues that need to be clarified beforehand. Seems real technical, but necessary for a female brain. And for you, also, because you have already been with him and have a familiarity she does not have. That does matter. Remember for guys its about the place, for girls is about the reason. Enjoy! We've always had a good time! Once a comfort level is established, we are a swirling mass of body parts! Fun. :tongue:

[notsostr8]

Wow!.. I'm jealous of you Mike, what with all these wonderful options around you. Don't be a selfish prick. Take the leap and host a round table discussion (with wine and hors duerves) with the wife, and both the boyfriends... maybe a weekend away at a chalet together. Discussion ensues... maybe more. She wants all of you. She deserves no less. I hope my wife is as accomodating as yours...

[rissababynta]

I find it funny how people live their fantasies and enjoyments through other people's lives...

All I hear is that this sounds great and go for it and that you shouldn't be a "selfish prick." Well, that's easy for everyone to say but if it is a situation that makes someone uncomfortable, it's not that easy

A bigger pictures has to be looked at beyond this situation, beyond the point of what we just think is hott or cool. Real living people's lives are involved and if anyone is unhappy or uncomfortable about something, no degree of how much others think it's great will actually make it that way...

[NakedInSeattle]

I sure don't see the roadblocks if they both want it. Give it a try. I, for one, love mmf with the wife.

[Realist]

I've been in two poly amorous relationships that were rewarding, loving and extremely sensual. I've attempted others that didn't work out. Here's how the two that worked, turned out:

At 21, I was invited to live with an older married couple. Before anything began, we had an agreement and none of us ever broke that agreement. It was respectful, honest and very open. For the era, early '60s, I think it was a remarkable feat. We were all in the Army and if we could have stayed together, we may still be together. Jealousy, on any level could not be part of a relationships like this and open/honest communication is paramount. Transfers ended that relationship after about 13 months.

At 24, I began a 2 year relationship with two women, one bi, one gay, one older one younger. Again, total trust, openness, and mutual interests had to be in agreement before we proceeded. Again, the situation was idyllic. The relationship ended when I met and fell in love with my first wife. My future wife would not enter the relationship with the two girls, even thought she was also bisexual.

Anyway, Mikey, I believe that no one can give you advice in this matter. You have to do what is best for you and your wife. I can only say that you maybe pleasantly surprised at how well things will go, if you can come to a realistic agreement that suits you all. You re very lucky to have a wife who's willing to join in.

[mikey3000]

Thanks all for your positive feed back, folks. I'll let her decide when she's ready, then it'll be a go.

And only two bashers today? Wow, I'm impressed. I must be doing something right. LOL!!!!!

[mikey3000]

Wow. I'm actually impressed at the amount of thought you put into that response. It shows you really care. Nice. :bigrin: And comming from a cum sloppy hole, that means so much. Really.

[rissababynta]

Mikey, do you ACTUALLY have a problem with an open relationship for both sides? If she wanted to have action on the side the way you do, would you be alright with that? I just want to clarify because I don't remember you ever saying specifically that you were not ok with that, and before people read to much into what cum is saying, I just would like to hear from you yourself how you stand with that.

[hydropop]

As the world turns , So does the days of our lives LMAO

Silly Rabbit

[mikey3000]

NO worries. For the record, I have absolutely no issue if she wanted to have a lover on the side, and she knows that.. That's how this all started, cause she wanted to try female love and she admitted it to me. That's how I took the signs to be ok if I came out to her. Believe it or not we have a great relationship (though not perfect). We are both very open to eachother with our wants and needs. I've even offered to pay for her and her friend to go on vacation any where they wanted, but she got cold feet. I don't push her into doing ANYTHING she doesn't want to do. But some people don't have an understanding of how a relationship like ours works, and will choose to write what ever they want about others. And unfortunately some actually believe them ;). I guess that's the whole point of being a troll, they love to stir the pot for much needed attention that they're obviously not getting at home.

[Billys_gurl]

I hope everything works out well for you and this situation Mikey. I made sure to read ALL of your posts as i read through the trashy people and the ones that actually showed they gave some thought first and all in all, Rissa and the others are right. I remember your post when you 2 were having problems and then you stated that she was the first to mention girl/girl for herself. I think you need to do what YOUR heart and mind say is right. What others say, either way, is what we feel and might do. Be easy and stay calm.
:grouphug:

[mikey3000]

Thank you very much!!:bibounce: