Do you wish you were straight?

[Devin]

Do you find it difficult or a challenge to be bisexual, gay or on the queer side? Do you wish you were straight? And if change was possible would you give it a try?

[NEPHX]

Do you find it difficult or a challenge to be bisexual, gay or on the queer side? Do you wish you were straight? And if change was possible would you give it a try?

Challenging at times but so what... so are many of the best things in life.

I wouldn't try to change.

[elian]

When I was younger and all I could do was cry and pray to God and say "WHY, did you make me this way" - yes, I would've probably been happy to be what everyone else considered "normal".

With time and experience I think I learned "why". Having to question my own sexuality gave me the very painful gift of an open mind. If I hadn't had to be "on the outside, looking in" at what "normal" was then I think I would be a completely different person, oblivious to what other "non-privileged" people face every day.

I still get frustrated when I hear ignorant comments made by "the majority", but I don't think I would be so quick to change now..if I had the chance to go back.

A lot of my attraction is romantic, so half the time I wonder when I say "bisexual" if what I mean is the ability for men to simply show affection for one another - which apparently our US society thinks is taboo. I've never seen such a lop-sided polarized view of the world as the one that is portrayed in popular culture these days. I mean, why shouldn't men nuzzle each other?

Damn homophobic patriarchs, they think a man showing the slightest bit of femininity is a threat to conservative white males all over the world..

[mikey3000]

No I do not wish I was straight at all. Though I must say that it was a rough go at the beginning with a wife, now I have a boyfriend too. And the best part is that they get along wonderfully. It has been a lot of hard work, but I think we'll be ok. I've never felt more complete in my life.

[bisexualman]

When I was younger I really wished I was gay or straight. It didn't matter as long as I could 'focus'. As I have gotten older, and more recently when I came to terms with myself, I wouldn't change now even though it can be difficult.

[coyotedude]

Like everything else in life, being bi brings both challenges and opportunities.

I certainly would never claim that my life is perfect. But yes, I like being bi. I wouldn't change.

[Billys_gurl]

I can't imagine NOT being bisexual. It does tend to be a challenge at times but as long as my hubby is comfortable with it, why should I wish to be anything else.
I wouldn't change if given the opportunity.

[Long Duck Dong]

I do not find it differcult to be bisexual, what I do find differcult is the fact that people can not understand that I am not sex driven ......including bisexuals..... and that I am somehow * faulty * cos I can be monogamous and bisexual...


would I change my sexuality ??? no.... the heteros and gays can be as bigoted and one eyed as the other sexualities.... its just that one eyed people only see half the reflection in the mirror....

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Nope. I'm me and I'm not going to change who and what I am. ;) I had to be other than I am for all of the years that I was married, and I'm not going to do it again. I'm me, and this is the end product. :bigrin::cool:
Cat

[roy m cox]

:bipride: yay I'll stay bi till i die :bipride:
:three::three::three::three::three::three:

[djones]

Why would I wish to be boring ?

[Angel1980]

I AM HAPPY BEING BISEXUAL AND WOULD NOT CHANGE IT FOR NO ONE .. THIS IS WHO I AM AND WHO I WANT TO BE .. I AM A VERY HAPPY BI GIRL AND THATS JUST WHO I AM .. ** KRYSTAL**

[open2both]

No!!!
:flag3::flag4::bipride:

[void()]

No, I won't change. End of discussion from my end.

[dafydd]

Do you find it difficult or a challenge to be bisexual, gay or on the queer side? Do you wish you were straight? And if change was possible would you give it a try?

Pros and cons either side

the only reason i could see to take the straight pill would be because I totally and utterly yearn to be a dad, and being gay makes it 1,000,000 times harder.

the other reason would be easier VISA issues.

I like me the way I am 358 days of the year.

d

[Lonewolf76]

Nope. I'm me and I'm not going to change who and what I am. ;) I had to be other than I am for all of the years that I was married, and I'm not going to do it again. I'm me, and this is the end product. :bigrin::cool:
Cat

AAbsolutely DITTO for me!!! Wolfie

[innaminka]

I doubt if anyone who is bi/gay wakes up and cheers that they are... taken from an objective view, being str8 is probably far less complicated.

That said, I am what i am and I would never change and actually am very settled in my life.
I have found love, i have found contentment - and i have found absolute acceptance from others.

... and my daughters think its cool having a les mum!

[darkeyes]

Not especially..not at all in fact.. although once, for a period which lasted several years I did so desperately want to be.. but it was so destructive and involved so much pain and so many lies that something had to give and it did..

[twntexas]

Well... sometimes I wish I wasn't bi. Sure would make life a lot less confusing. But then i think about straight people and say to myself, " nah.. I really dont think I want to be like them ".

[Bi-Zarro]

Mostly I just wish the world was different.

[mrplayfuluk]

I just wish everyone else was bi, instead. Life could suddenly get a lot more interesting and there would be a lot less deaths from oppressive religions, bigotry, bullying, depression and suicide due to the fascism of sexual identity.

[Biboz49]

I'm very happy as I am.

[NakedInSeattle]

It is what it is...I am what I am...'nuff said.

[JP1986UM]

My wife says its definitely not boring.

So I suppose I will stay as I am, not that I can change it anyway.

It would be ideal to have another male living in with us, but the children issue kinda gets in the way and I can see issues with the kids at HS.

But changing? Not gonna happen, although to live as a straight guy for a week might be fun and not always look at their BF's as well. :eek:

[BiRusLG]

For most of my life i thought it was alright to like men lmao... So I called myself Straight because i thought i was only Attracted to women.. but i have noticed more and more and i aged through my teenage years..men have gotten hotter and sexier... So... I recently [last week] came out of the closet :)
:flag3:

[Doggie_Wood]

Deversity and challenges aid in building and defining character.
So my answer would be - No Change in sight for this bisexual :cool:

And trips to Houston (and other places, too) are in the near future :bigrin:


Doggie :doggie:

[TwylaTwobits]

since I am straight I can't answer :) But I do wish the views of the world weren't dependent on whether you are bi, straight, gay, les, trans or into shoving your dick into plastic bottles to see if it actually works.

[kyguy149]

I was stright the first 48 years of my life.Then tried sex with another man and realzed what i had been missing.So no i dont wish i was stright,love being bi and not going too change.

[dickhand]

No ! Why would I want to cut out sex with half the population ? Being bi means never being disappointed with what you find between their legs to play with and the ability to love the one you're with !

[mikey3000]

Pros and cons either side

the only reason i could see to take the straight pill would be because I totally and utterly yearn to be a dad, and being gay makes it 1,000,000 times harder.

the other reason would be easier VISA issues.

I like me the way I am 358 days of the year.

d

Dude, why can't you be a dad? There are lots of gay fathers here in Toronto, and families with two dads are not even blinked at anymore. Gays are actually encouraged to adopt by our Children's Aid Society. Is it really that different in London?

I am a dad with two amazing little girls and the best wife on the planet who understands me and helps me to accept who I am. Don't let your sexual preference stop you from being a parent.

[bensonhurstbiguy]

I just wish everyone else was bi, instead.

Me too!

[Annika L]

I sometimes wish (in moments of weakness) that I had what I think of as the simplicity of the "straight life".

I do find it challenging to be bisexual, as I am in a monogamous relationship...but as that relationship is with a woman whom I love more than anything or anybody in the world, I certainly don't wish I was straight!

Even taking that out of the equation, though, I would not want to be straight: my sexuality is such an integral part of how I process the world that to change it would change so many other things about me that I would be quite a different person. I rather like how I process the world, and I value my ability to be attracted to all things of beauty (physical and/or spiritual beauty), regardless of what bits they've got.

But I also recognize (in moments of greater clarity) that "the simplicity of the 'straight life'" is a fiction anyway. Straight people don't lead simpler lives...most of them are just as messed up as most of us...just in different ways. So why trade in a set of challenges I know and understand for a set of challenges that are just as difficult but that don't fit with who I am?

Meh, no thanks. (So I really appreciate the OP giving the choice of "It's challenging but I wouldn't change it.")

I am, by the way, impressed with the large percentage of people here who do not find it a challenge to be bisexual and are completely comfortable with their sexuality. I've spoken with enough people here who feel challenged that I'm surprised to see the percentage that high. Makes me wonder if people are being completely honest with themselves and others...or whether I have received a mistaken impression.

[ErosUrge]

[QUOTE=elian;161591]When I was younger and all I could do was cry and pray to God and say "WHY, did you make me this way" - yes, I would've probably been happy to be what everyone else considered "normal".

How well I relate to this topic. All of my adult life until 12 years ago, I struggled with my sexuality. There were times I completely embraced it in my youth. But they were short lived. When I decided to marry the second time, I really thought it was time to move past my desire for the same sex and that I would as the result of my marriage. But once into it and after a few months, my desire for the same sex seemed even stronger. I thought I was abnormal and felt cursed. And even in a recent relationship that went sour a year and a half ago because of my honesty about my bisexuality, I felt cursed yet again. I understand those who have been bisexual and then decide to settle with one person to remain completely monogamous and to them I give great credit. But for persons like myself (and I know there are more out there than are willing to admit), it is a very difficult path to tread. All too often the advice is always the same; "just give it up if you really love the person"; or, "If you really care about someone then there's no excuse for wanting anyone else". Now I know that holds true for a lot of people, but not all of us are the same. And I find too often that people are so ready to climb up on their high horses in judgement of those who don't do things just like they do. I know for a fact there are couples out there who love each other immensely though understand the desire and appetite for still needing the exchange and experience of the same sex. I am always amazed by these couples and particularly one I know who have now been together for 23 years. Throughout their relationship they have understood and shared this with one another allowing each other to have same sex experiences but always paying special attention to what they hold dear and sacred with one another. I realize this is a most difficult way to live for any couple and very few are able to do it. I myself have had issues when attempting this with a woman I cared for deeply. The bottom line is that what each person desires and wants in a relationship be made clear from the beginning so there can be no misgivings. And even when that's established, the road can be treacherous.
So being straight would most definitely be easier in a sense. I realize for those who completely are into the idea of monogamy that even being straight means that you play with no one else. And I also know of a great deal of bi couples, many of them members here, that the same is expected. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with this; it is the norm and I understand all the reasons why people feel strongly about this. But a voice for those who see it different and live it different needs to be expressed too. It is very possible to love another person (in this case, the opposite sex) and yet have desires and needing them fulfilled and having them fulfilled with the same sex too. As long as it is made clear and is communicated there is no harm in this. Though it doesn't go with the norm, it is a reality and there are many couples who practice this way of living. I think that the judgements need to cease about it. And for those who completely believe in monogamy as the only way to be have their right, (and I will add should be complimented for it as it's a good thing), they shouldn't judge others who don't prescribe to this way of living. For this reason I think there are people of both sexes who feel bad about themselves and wish they were straight. But because of having a high sexual appetite for both and wishing to continue to engage in experiences with the same sex once they are involved with someone of the opposite sex, (or those involved with the same sex, desiring the opposite) they are considered abnormal or in the wrong. I completly understand the idea of monogamy in that what two people hold dear and sacred to each other is only for them and can't be shared with others either emotionally or physically. But another way is where two people hold what they have as sacred together with no intentions of ever leaving one another, but allowing each other the freedom to experience sex with the same and having confidence that their experiences together have a diffrent quality than the mere sexual ones with others. The judgements made towards this kind of situation need to cease once and for all....as the saying goes, different strokes for different folks....cliche as it is, it still holds true. I realize however that the judgements will continue as surely as the seasons come and go because some cannot let go of their grip on the reality they experience and refuse to see it any other way. So, do I wish I were straight??? Nah, being bi has allowed me a perspective and passion that has been beautiful for me. I respect all people and their choices. Though confused and insecure about my sexuality for the longest time, it is okay to be who we are whether straight, bi, gay, trans....monogamous, polyamorous, or committed with an open end...as long as we communicate who and what we are without deceiving anyone, then it's quite alright.

[Precious One]

I find that being bisexual is easy enough for me to understand, accept and process. I understand my feelings, and I have no guilt about being attracted to, and having fallen in love with both men and women.

What I find exhausting is realizing that there are few people in my life who could accept me for who I am, and the relationship choices I have made. I currently am blessed with a loving yet unconventional relationship, that I realize that those who assume that they know me would never accept or understand. That to me is exhausting and stressful.

I suppose that if I was to change anything, I would change the perceptions of a binary world where roles are assigned as opposed to being defined by those who are involved.

[dafydd]

Dude, why can't you be a dad? There are lots of gay fathers here in Toronto, and families with two dads are not even blinked at anymore. Gays are actually encouraged to adopt by our Children's Aid Society. Is it really that different in London?

I am a dad with two amazing little girls and the best wife on the planet who understands me and helps me to accept who I am. Don't let your sexual preference stop you from being a parent.

I am looking to father and co-parent my own child. I don't know any single female friends in London who are willing to do that with a gay guy. Doesn't give me many options.

d:flag3:

[mikey3000]

I am looking to father and co-parent my own child. I don't know any single female friends in London who are willing to do that with a gay guy. Doesn't give me many options.

d:flag3:
Have you googled surogate mothers in England? I did. Here's one:

http://yedda.com/questions/surrogacy_embryo_donation_intended_1862176795210/

You didn't say if you wanted to co-parent this child with a woman, or as you are gay, your male partner. Either way, And BTW, there are tons of women who are totally turned on by gay men. I bet there are lots of women willing to help you out, you just have to find the courage to seek one out.

Sincerely, all the best to you.

[citystyleguy]

hell no! very happy the fates made me what i am; it just was confusing as hell to understand why i was what i am!

[Aetherael]

I wouldn't change this part of me for the world.

[dafydd]

dafyyd since you're bisexual it should not be hard for you to find a woman, have a relationship with her, and have a child with her.


yes very difficult to have a relationship with a woman since I am not emotionally attached to women in that way.

d

[dafydd]

What if you haven't met the right woman?

There are bisexual and straight women who would gladly have a relationship and child with you. Try dating women or having relationships with them and don't tell yourself that it's somehow impossible for you to have a relationship with a woman even though you're bisexual.

No I absolutely know it's not in me. And not some I am interested in pursuing. I fall in love with men only. Thanks for the encouragement though.

d:cool:

[olly_21]

I think i would have said only a few days ago, that i would much much rather be straight. After many years finding it hard to accept that i am Bi, and trying to fight it. But only a few days ago i stopped trying to fight it, and finally came to terms that i am a Bisexual human being, and i am really happy that i am! And for the first time i can say, i am really happy to be bisexual, and i wouldnt change it!

[RobUK]

No, never, that's part of who I am!

Saying that, though, I would choose to be able to walk.... :rolleyes:

:bibounce:

[curiousnlooking83]

You kidding? Wish there was a way to be "tri"!

[rdy2go]

Nope, never crossed my mind, I already am str8. We all are what we are. That is why I like this site. I may get flak for my opinions on things like law enforcement, and killing coyotes, my taste in music and sports teams. But I have never gotten dumped on for being a straight man in this environment. I find the people interesting and for the most part friendly, for me being Bi, gay, straight, or martian just doesn't matter :)

[csreef]

No - Never!
I've been Bi curious since I was 15...When I started to have sex with men, in my early 30's, I became MUCH happier, my life has felt more in balance, and my because I've explored my sexuality and feel comfortable with it, my creativity has blossomed !
I am very happy being Bisexual!
:bipride:

[ganix22]

I doubt if anyone who is bi/gay wakes up and cheers that they are... taken from an objective view, being str8 is probably far less complicated.

That said, I am what i am and I would never change and actually am very settled in my life.
I have found love, i have found contentment - and i have found absolute acceptance from others.

... and my daughters think its cool having a les mum!


I don't find Bi life very difficult. I was fortunate enough to grow up with a grandmother who is a self identified lesbian and her lover and was friends with very open people. because of the lack of obstacles I've encountered I'd have to disagree about not cheering that I'm bi. I am what I am and I love it this way. ^_^:bipride:

[brutal_priestess]

It's not my sexuality that bothers me but having to explain to myself over and over and over again what I'm not. Of course, the fact that I haven't been christian since I was 16 or so has given me plenty of practice in such things.

I don't wish I were either or. I just wish that, upon coming out about my sexuality to someone new, they wouldn't assume I was some kind of slut.

[rdy2go]

In response to my last post on this, I am disapointed that being str8, I cannot respond to the poll. There is no question that I can give an honest answer to.

[still_shy]

I have zero desire to be straight...for the longest time, I denied my attraction to women and I'll never forget the emptiness I felt inside and all of the problems it caused. There's no way I would ever go back to that. I love men and women equally and am happy with that :)

[Jackal]

No, not really. Of course I have my moments where I wish I was monosexual, but then there are days when I wish a lot of horrible things. More often than not I'm in the state of mind that I wouldn't change, not because it would make me a traitor but because I don't think that my issues would go away if I weren't bi. I wish that people would get over non-heterosexuality and non-binary gender identity; my sexuality isn't where my angst comes from.

[jimisbi]

I'd never want to be heterosexual. I'm more than happy being bi. I like the feel of cock and pussy too much to want only one sex.

[oddlyshaped]

This is a very difficult question for me. I still don't know. It's only been recently that I've comes to terms with the idea of being bisexual. The word still makes me feel a tad uncomfortable. I grew up in a very religious household, and the view that man having sex with men was very thoroughly wrong. Now, I find myself actually being turned on by this, and it's very difficult to deal with.

That being said, no, I don't think I would change it if I could. I'm a huge fan of Shakespeare, and he said it best: "Above all else, to thine own self be true." I was also taught by my parents to cherish truth and the scientific method. The hard part about that, is that sometimes the data leads you places you would rather it didn't. The process doesn't work if you aren't willing to grit your teeth and bear it. The data lead me here.

[12voltman59]

It is almost sort of funny in a way----I have hardly ever been "straight" about anything in my life--and by that I am talking about things other than sexual orientation.

When I was a very young boy---I was an only child when everyone else was part of a big family. That made me "not normal" to most of my peers and the brunt of many nasty things that were done to me because of that fact. (my sister was born ten years later than I was--which in a way--almost makes both of us "single" children)

I was content to play by myself--which was something that the teachers in school found both interesting and disturbing---but yet--I was a happy and well adjusted kid--that made me "different." I could of course play with the other kids--if they would invite me--if not--I was happy and contented to do things on my own--I am still that way to this day.

I didn't do too many things that other kids did growing up--like be on sports teams and such---I did do YMCA day camp--but I also took summer classes for kids at the local science and natural history museum--and my family had a lake place that I spent the summer too--doing things like being on boats and such--for that time in Ohio--that made me "different."

In adult life---that I never did marry and or have kids and that I didn't follow normal career paths--well, all that makes me "different"--

Considering all the ways in my life that I am different, "not normal", etc.---it is no suprise at all that when it comes to sex--I was "not normal" by not being 100% straight too!!!

[sundae]

I have zero desire to be straight...for the longest time, I denied my attraction to women and I'll never forget the emptiness I felt inside and all of the problems it caused. There's no way I would ever go back to that. I love men and women equally and am happy with that :)

I totally understand what you mean. Im 38 and feel like a virgin. I love men and am currently single but I sooo struggle with the fact I no longer want to hide that I love woman too. I have hid from my own emotions that I long to touch women and men and it is hard on me emotionally not to have anyone understand who I really am.

[sundae]

I wish that I did not hide who I was from myself for so long. I regret that I never took the time to explore my thoughts and yearnings. I could not imagine not finding a womans body beautiful and erotic, and the mans body sexy, Im glad I feel this way. Now is the time for me to figure out what Im going to do with all my yearnings I no longer want to hide.

[jem_is_bi]

I do not know why I am bi-sexual. I have been bi-sexual my entire life. Sometimes, I wish I was totally homosexual. But, that will never happen because some women are so wonderful and sexy.

[tequilafan]

I never thought of myself as bisexual when I was younger. I only loved/dated women. It was after I started swinging, doing threesomes, and enjoying the feel of a rock hard cock explode in my mouth, did I realize what bisexuality was. Again, this is my point of view, doesn't have to relate to you, so don't judge. I never brought my playmates to my hometown, and never did any "kinky" stuff with my steady girlfriends back in the day because I had that fear of being called a fag, gay, homo... whatever.

It took me two decades to be honest with myself. A lot of years went by as a hetero married man with a horrible secret life from his past. I never cheated on my then wife, not with women or men. Only after being divorced and a lot of personal reflection, growth and, for lack of a better word - maturity, have I been able to admit my bisexuality. I'm still pretty damn sure that I wouldn't walk up to friends from college or high school and shout - "HEY EVERYBODY, I'M A PUSSY EATING, COCKSUCKING BISEXUAL!!"

I really believe what goes on in the bedroom stays there.

Just my two pennies... ymmv.

[fredtyg]

I'm still pretty damn sure that I wouldn't walk up to friends from college or high school and shout - "HEY EVERYBODY, I'M A PUSSY EATING, COCKSUCKING BISEXUAL!!"
I really believe what goes on in the bedroom stays there.


True. No reason to tell someone who has no need to know about one's bisexuality, although I think telling people about mine is kind of erotic. It's the exhibitionist in me, I guess.

But discussing sexuality issues is fun, isn't it? Otherwise, none of us would be here.

[Realist]

I can respect anyone's decision to do as they wish. Some feel best when they're totally out, others would rather keep their sexuality to themselves.

I can see where someone would want to be out, if they are more inclined to meet strangers often for brief sexual encounters.

Those more interested in relationships, may be less inclined to be blatant about their sexuality.

Of course, a lot depends on the location and the attitudes of people in that area, too. Self preservation is a good motivator for being discreet!

What I don't like is, another person telling you what you should do, without knowing the environment in which you live, or your personal feelings.

[open2both]

Honestly, when I was younger, occasionally.
But now...
HELL no.
:bibounce::bipride::flag4:

[rutemptedalso]

No, I like who I am. They just need to get used to it.

[silentboxer]

YESSS. the girl of my dreams broke up with me for being bi. And i try to get closer in my religion i have to stop being this way. It so easy for the str8s. W hy do i have to have this disease???

[jem_is_bi]

YESSS. the girl of my dreams broke up with me for being bi. And i try to get closer in my religion i have to stop being this way. It so easy for the str8s. W hy do i have to have this disease???

I hope you eventually are more comfortable with your sexuallity. It is unlikely your sexuallity will change to totally straight. So, it would be better if the women you love and the church you belong to are more accepting of you.
While sex is important in our lives, how much time do we actually devote to it compared to all else we do in our lives? So, do not be overly concerned about sex. Do what you can to accomplish all your goals and otherwise be a good person. Eventually, you will be happy with you.

[StrawberryHouseMouse]

Some times I wish I was a guy, cause I feel such a strong pull towards females. I acctually like them more then guys. But I also feel a need for the security of a man in my life. So its really confussing for me some times. So yeah lots of times I do wish I was straight. But no matter how hard I try I cant change the way my emotions work.

[artl68]

I'm happy being me.I made the choice,and have never once question it,did I make the right ,depends on your view.I am me,like me for who I am on the inside,not what am.:rolleyes:

[sdnaustin]

I used to want to change and be straight, but after growing up and getting past the fear and anxiety, I love it

[swmnkdinthervr]

I voted: "I’m happy to be bisexual. I wouldn’t change my orientation no matter what" To pursue this aspect of sexuality was a choice I consciously made. If at some point I become disillusioned, disappointed or otherwise turned off by same sex play I will go in another direction!

I'm sure there are at least a few others like me or at least I think there are! This isn't about gender to me at all. I'm not attracted to men in the way I am to women, they don't hold a special attraction to me except for sex...but...I'm absolutely fascinated by cock!!!

I also view sex as sex not some definition of love, in my mind the two are totally separate. That's not to say the one I love and I won't/don't have the most wonderful lovemaking!!! (we do) Pleasure is what this is all about!

I should mention my wife is also bi and shares essentially the same views as I do with the exception that she finds women extremely attractive! (as do I :bigrin:)

[12voltman59]

No I don't wish that I was straight nor do I desire to be gay---the two extremes that seem to be all we are allowed to have in this culture---what I wish is that we had a society and culture that looked at things rationally and did not make it an either/or situation when it comes to who we are intimate with--either sexually or "romantically."

Isn't it totally fucking crazy in this culture that we hold such stupid thoughts such as "a man and a woman cannot ever simply be friends and not have sex" while also holding the equally stupid notion that guys can do some incredible intimate things over a long time span--intimate things like going to war together---seeing their buddies dying in battle--and helping each other survive such a situation--and then they cannot be expected to have a time where they might reach out to each other in a time of need in the aftermath of such experience---by sharing physical and emotional intimacies???

If those guys do share such intimacies--then they are forever branded as being "gay" and that is that.

That to me is totally fucked up.

In another current thread about male Frotting---I posted up a link to a site dedicated to the concept of frotting as part of an all encompassing, alternative view on male sexuality---I found this definition of "heterosexuality" there---one that I largely agree.
http://www.heroichomosex.org/crw/defhetero.html