A plea for the site

[still_shy]

Ok, I really feel the need to address the current situation here. I've sat back and watched with great sadness the bitterness, arguments and rude behavior for some time now. Every once in a while someone will talk about the way things used to be here and the people we have lost. I've read in disbelief the blatant disrespect and outright anger that occurs in the forums these days. And, I've avoided going into chat, because it's not the same either. People are lashing out at each other in ways I haven't seen since high school. I've considered leaving the site as so many others before me have done. Something keeps me hanging on, these days I'm not sure what it is.

So, before you think this is another thread bitching about the way things used to be and how bad they are...I'll get to my point.

We are better than this. Why are so many people dragging themselves down to the level of a few jerks instead of using their ignore button? I don't understand why we can't just take our site back and say to hell with the assholes who are ruining it. I've always believed that the only way to bring about change is to do it yourself and we are most certainly not doing it. Instead of arguing and insulting, why aren't we ignoring and moving on? Things just keep getting worse, we keep losing more good people. I hate to see the wonderful community I joined turn into a place that is full of the bitterness, hatred and predjudice we struggle enough with in our daily lives.

I don't have all of the answers...don't really know how to fix things. I'm just seeing a pattern where we are allowing ourselves to be baited and insulted on a personal level and all we are doing is fueling the fire and aiding in destroying a place I used to love. What happened to the way we used to be whenever someone pissed us off? We just ignored them and went about our business. We stayed a community regardless of a few hecklers and jerks. We're not a community anymore. Instead of being one large group who cares about everyone, now we're the minority and have been accused of being 'clique-ish.' I'm sure I'll get bitched out for posting this but I can't sit around and gripe about how bad the site is these days and not try to fix it. It's up to us to rise above those who are trying to bring us down. It's up to us to restore the site to what it used to be.

[TwylaTwobits]

Hugs Shy :)

[Luffly1]

That was beautiful. You are very right too.

[void()]

Void stops by, gazes at Shy's navel a bit. "Uh huh, you tell 'em." Void wanders along to gaze at more navels. :)

[rissababynta]

*smacks void upside the head* snap out of it ya navel perv. :tong:

Smooches to you m'dear. You have a wonderful way with words.

Shy sweety, you are absolutely beautiful and I have always respected the hell out of you. You are SO right. I can not believe that we all have let this site get hijacked. There is absolutely no reason why the regulars can't have a good time here anymore...as long as everyone is in agreement about those who make others feel like shit should be ignored.

[still_shy]

RISSA----massive hugs and kisses---missed ya sweetie!!!

[BiBedBud]

Hello Everyone,

This is my very first post here on bisexual dot com. I find it disheartening to read that some thoughtful and considerate people are thinking of leaving the site because of the foul posts of trolls and flame baiters. If all the ‘good ones’ go, then who will I be left with?:(

I am not entirely familiar with all of the user controls and options available in this forum, so I would like to pose three questions:


1. Do I understand correctly from the above; that there is an ‘Ignore’ button that will purge from my view, all of the posts offered-up by the less thoughtful and considerate among us?


2. If so, where is it? How does it work, and how do I use it?


3. Why aren’t others here using it when they’ve suffered repeated grief from ugly keystrokers?


Thanks in advance for your help.

Kind regards,
BiBedBud

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Big warm boobie hugs to Shy and Riss. :} Theres going to be Trolls and assholes no matter where we go, loves..its just a fact of life, but its up to us to make sure the idjets that wander in dont ruin everything for the rest of us regulars. These people are bullies, and thrive on trying to make other folks feel bad about themselves. If you stand up to a bully and tell them to fuck off and show that they cant hurt you with their petty little mind games, then they will lose interest and leave. Like I told a young lady a few minutes ago, Bullies exist here And out there, and if you dont take up for yourself and dear friends, then we have lost.
Dont allow them to run you off Shy, you are too sweet and good for us to lose over some idjets. :}
Take care Sweetie.
Cat

[csrakate]

Thanks for the thought provoking thread, Shy...I take your words to heart and I will do my part...but for me, for the time being, that means doing nothing at all. I went to bed with a determined attitude to see this situation through and not to be driven away...but after waking up this morning and reading yet another post leveled at myself, things have changed. I've done what I can to attempt to clear my name from the insult that has been leveled at myself and others. At this point I am fed up and would prefer to sit back and see what evolves. I'm much too old for pettiness and if I want to play with children, I will go spend time with my grandkids. Sorry to be such a downer....but it's the best I can do for now.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I'm sorry some moron made you feel that way Kate. Thats exactly what I was talking about. Fatalism, defeat, its what they want..they want to try and make us feel less that we are and I for one am not going to be made to feel that'a way. Try a different tact Kate. Southern women are taught practically from the time they can walk to say "Well Bless your lil heart" or Well aint that special" instead of what they are Really meaning, and that is "Fuck off asshole" And "Do you realize what an idiot you really are?"

Dont let it get to you, Love. Its not worth the tension or the aggrivation. :}
Feel better soon my dear friend.
C'mon, I'll plop ya on a piller(Pillow) by the fire next to Riss and Shy and Twyla, and make ya a s'more, and get ya a nice cold RC Cola or an Orange NeHi...:)
Cat

[still_shy]

I'm sorry some moron made you feel that way Kate. Thats exactly what I was talking about. Fatalism, defeat, its what they want..they want to try and make us feel less that we are and I for one and not going to be made to feel that'a way. Try a different tact Kate. Southern women are taught practacly from the time they can walk to say "Well Bless your lil heart" or Well aint that special" instead of what they are Really meaning and that is "Fuck off asshole" And "Do you realize what an idiot you really are?"

EXACTLY!!!!


Dont let it get to you, Love. Its not worth the tension or the aggrivation. :}
Feel better soon my dear friend. C'mon, I'll plop ya on a piller(Pillow) by the fire next to Riss and Shy and Twyla, and make ya a smore, and get ya a nice cold RC Cola or an Orange NeHi...:)
Cat

I'm thinking we may need something a little stronger than RC or NeHi to get things rolling...I volunteer to bring some wine that's made in my hometown and guaranteed to put a smile on your face :)

[csrakate]

Do you have any Grape Nehi? Or did Showme drink them all??

Thanks Cat...I guess my post was a bit of a knee jerk reaction to discovering that this shit was still going on today...You're right...I am a strong Southern woman!!! Just give me some time to dust off my pantaloons and I'll be just fine!

HUGS!

[still_shy]

Dont allow them to run you off Shy, you are too sweet and good for us to lose over some idjets. :}
Take care Sweetie.
Cat

It's going to take a lot more than this to run me off! I'm planting my feet firmly on the ground and seein this thing through to the end!

[arana]

~((( Big Hugs, Shy))) You're still a sweetie. :tong:


Ok, I really feel the need to address the current situation here. I've sat back and watched with great sadness the bitterness, arguments and rude behavior for some time now. Every once in a while someone will talk about the way things used to be here and the people we have lost. I've read in disbelief the blatant disrespect and outright anger that occurs in the forums these days. And, I've avoided going into chat, because it's not the same either. People are lashing out at each other in ways I haven't seen since high school. I've considered leaving the site as so many others before me have done. Something keeps me hanging on, these days I'm not sure what it is.

So, before you think this is another thread bitching about the way things used to be and how bad they are...I'll get to my point.

We are better than this. Why are so many people dragging themselves down to the level of a few jerks instead of using their ignore button? I don't understand why we can't just take our site back and say to hell with the assholes who are ruining it. I've always believed that the only way to bring about change is to do it yourself and we are most certainly not doing it. Instead of arguing and insulting, why aren't we ignoring and moving on? Things just keep getting worse, we keep losing more good people. I hate to see the wonderful community I joined turn into a place that is full of the bitterness, hatred and predjudice we struggle enough with in our daily lives.

I don't have all of the answers...don't really know how to fix things. I'm just seeing a pattern where we are allowing ourselves to be baited and insulted on a personal level and all we are doing is fueling the fire and aiding in destroying a place I used to love. What happened to the way we used to be whenever someone pissed us off? We just ignored them and went about our business. We stayed a community regardless of a few hecklers and jerks. We're not a community anymore. Instead of being one large group who cares about everyone, now we're the minority and have been accused of being 'clique-ish.' I'm sure I'll get bitched out for posting this but I can't sit around and gripe about how bad the site is these days and not try to fix it. It's up to us to rise above those who are trying to bring us down. It's up to us to restore the site to what it used to be.

[llllllllll]

A big HIGH 5 to you Still_Shy,very well said :)

[TwylaTwobits]

Hello Everyone,

This is my very first post here on bisexual dot com. I find it disheartening to read that some thoughtful and considerate people are thinking of leaving the site because of the foul posts of trolls and flame baiters. If all the ‘good ones’ go, then who will I be left with?:(

I am not entirely familiar with all of the user controls and options available in this forum, so I would like to pose three questions:


1. Do I understand correctly from the above; that there is an ‘Ignore’ button that will purge from my view, all of the posts offered-up by the less thoughtful and considerate among us?


2. If so, where is it? How does it work, and how do I use it?


3. Why aren’t others here using it when they’ve suffered repeated grief from ugly keystrokers?


Thanks in advance for your help.

Kind regards,
BiBedBud


If you are reading posts you will see a name of the poster you can add to ignore from there. Or you can go your account and manage your ignore list by having the exact name or names. You will no longer see any posts by them but you will be able to see they have posted.

[welickit]

In looking back over a period of time you will see a trend. As the economy began to falter people (us included) became more sensitive about things and less apt to shrug it off. Stress does funny things to people and everyone handles it in their own way. Human nature at work. There is no right or wrong just some more tolerant than others. We have been flamed and when that happened we stood back to think about, "what did I say? Why did I say it?" Then move on and either be accepted or rejected as the case may be.

[FalconAngel]

Hello Everyone,

This is my very first post here on bisexual dot com. I find it disheartening to read that some thoughtful and considerate people are thinking of leaving the site because of the foul posts of trolls and flame baiters. If all the ‘good ones’ go, then who will I be left with?:(

I am not entirely familiar with all of the user controls and options available in this forum, so I would like to pose three questions:


1. Do I understand correctly from the above; that there is an ‘Ignore’ button that will purge from my view, all of the posts offered-up by the less thoughtful and considerate among us?


2. If so, where is it? How does it work, and how do I use it?


3. Why aren’t others here using it when they’ve suffered repeated grief from ugly keystrokers?


Thanks in advance for your help.

Kind regards,
BiBedBud

Yes, there is.

1. Go to the person's profile. You will see two small links near the top. One says ad user as friend and the other says ignore user.

2. click on ignore user and just follow the directions.

[still_shy]

1. Do I understand correctly from the above; that there is an ‘Ignore’ button that will purge from my view, all of the posts offered-up by the less thoughtful and considerate among us?


2. If so, where is it? How does it work, and how do I use it?


3. Why aren’t others here using it when they’ve suffered repeated grief from ugly keystrokers?



I addressed the first two questions in Pm but the last question I wanted to answer in public....Why aren't others using it? I wish I knew the reason...things here would be a lot calmer if a lot more people utilized this feature of the site!!

[12voltman59]

I'm thinking we may need something a little stronger than RC or NeHi to get things rolling...I volunteer to bring some wine that's made in my hometown and guaranteed to put a smile on your face :)

Hey--I like RC, Nehi Grape and many of the other great southern 'sodiee pops!"---but I bet I can find some good 'shine from somebody I know--the best I ever had though came from a man who died a few years back and his kids said they would not sell it again till they could get it as good as the old man's--so far they haven't perfected it yet. Too bad---that stuff was GREAT!! My one neighbor at the lake has like his last Mason jar of it----and he just breaks it out some nights when we have a group of us out on their porch---we just kind of sip it now since its down to its last!!! I sure wished I had bought more of it had I thought of the old man passing----I had gotten a few jars of it then he died a few months later having gone through what I had bought pretty fast since it was so good!!!

Kinda sad thing too about Moonshine making down in the hills and hollers of places like West Virginia, Kentucky and Tennessee---many people who made great 'Shine are dying off and the new breed---they went over to making Meth because it sells better than Moonshine!!! I don't mind tipping a bit of 'shine---but taking Meth--I just don't understand that stuff and wouldn't do it for all the tea in China!!!

The next best thing to some good authentic mountain 'shine these days are a few legal forms of what the makers call "moonshine."

http://www.amountainofcrushedice.com/?p=8079

http://www.piedmontdistillers.com/verification.php

Bet we could get everybody feelin' happy, happy, happy if we did get some 'shine or other favorite libations in them!! lol (as long as they are not mean drunks!! lol)

Me----I get a happy drunk going--then I fall asleep!!!! :bigrin::bigrin:

[BareHunter45]

Still shy....you are absolutely correct. I have risen to the bait of th trolls aon a few occassions and always felt bad afterward because that is not really who I am (to argue against someone). I love a good debate and exchange of ideas, when done respectfully and with thought. Our standard troll posts with neither. I'm with you...I'll redouble my efforts to stay and not rise to the bait...and to use the ignore button much more liberally!

You got a warm boobie hug from Cat...I got popcorn (previous thread)....I'll trade ya???

[mrplayfuluk]

Right behind ya Shy! I think that we get impassioned and have the desire to protect rather than ignore then it all goes off like a domino effect. I'd rather have passion than let peeps get away with it but I hear you about the ignore button... maybe if we let everyone know we hit the ignore button when we did it then others could follow suit. Trouble is we'd be called the 'Ignore Clique' next! :rolleyes:

[Doggie_Wood]

(((((((((((( Shy {love ya sweetie}, RISSA!! {WB Hun}, Rana {missed you}))))))))))))

That's All - I just wanted huggz :three:

Doggie :doggie:

[TwylaTwobits]

I tried moonshine once...some of the original stuff. Potent, very potent. I'll stick to soft drinks and if alcohol needs to be imbimbed...beer please :)

[rissababynta]

(((((((((((( Shy {love ya sweetie}, RISSA!! {WB Hun}, Rana {missed you}))))))))))))

That's All - I just wanted huggz :three:

Doggie :doggie:

*huggles* don't know how long I'm back for though.

[still_shy]

(((((((((((((Doggie)))))))))))))


Bare--Popcorn for a boobie hug?!? LOL I bet if you ask Cat real nice she'll give you one ;)

Volty--my husband bought a couple of mason jars of 'shine for twenty bucks a while back. He says it's smoother than any whiskey. I'll take his word for it!!

[still_shy]

Right behind ya Shy! I think that we get impassioned and have the desire to protect rather than ignore then it all goes off like a domino effect. I'd rather have passion than let peeps get away with it but I hear you about the ignore button... maybe if we let everyone know we hit the ignore button when we did it then others could follow suit. Trouble is we'd be called the 'Ignore Clique' next! :rolleyes:

Mrplayful--I know exactly what you mean. I seriously debated when writing this post whether I should encourage people to use their ignore button. I hate to see such personal attacks go undefended but at the same time, I really believe it's the only way things will settle back down again. Is it just me or does it seem like our original troll has taken a break? I haven't heard the old familiar "obese" refrain or anything about closet cases lately... Who knows what will help...

[rissababynta]

Mrplayful--I know exactly what you mean. I seriously debated when writing this post whether I should encourage people to use their ignore button. I hate to see such personal attacks go undefended but at the same time, I really believe it's the only way things will settle back down again. Is it just me or does it seem like our original troll has taken a break? I haven't heard the old familiar "obese" refrain or anything about closet cases lately... Who knows what will help...

No sweety...no he really hasn't taken a break...

[still_shy]

Figures....I think that was wishful thinking Riss....he's just changed his style a bit then?

[gfofbiguy]

I agree completely with what you wrote, Shy. I haven't been posting on this site or participating in chat for quite some time, although I do occasionally come back and read the forums from time to time and I have wondered what has happened here as well. When I joined because of my boyfriend being bi, I was welcomed with open arms and made to feel very welcome here - I don't like the way the site has deteriorated. But I'm all for that campfire, with s'mores, RC, Nehi and who said they were bringing the moonshine? This (former) northern girl tried it once - whoooooeeee! Very strong stuff LOL I'll stick to my wine or scotch or beer ;) But I'll pitch in some green chili chicken enchiladas for the campfire peeps :bigrin:

[BiBedBud]

Thanks to still_shy et al. for explaining the 'Ignore' option/list. I hope never to need it, but I won't hessitate to use it if ever I feel like it. Life is too short and I am way too busy with the real world to expend even a single keystroke counter-posting with someone who does not deserve my response.

I respectfully suggest everyone operate on the same basis, and before too long, those overflowing with negativity will negate themselves.

I like the suggestion of announcing additions to your ignore list, and hope that everyone would do so for their own reasons, rather than any kind of clique-ishness.

FAIR NOTICE STATEMENT:
I know how to ignore the ignoramuses and the ignoranti, and will do so when the better angels of my nature tell me to.

Regards,
BiBedBud

[still_shy]

Ok the twin thread "A Plea for the site" caused me to respond to their bullshit, even though I swore I was above it. That pisses me off. All I was asking for was respect and tolerance from ALL sides, not just from the ones who are my friends. I want EVERYONE to lose the hatred, I want everyone to get along....even though I know this is impossible...I was also hoping for some maturity. Whatever.

[Doggie_Wood]

BiBedBud - you have a nice ass.

Doggie :doggie:

[dafydd]

Maybe people find it exciting to engage with trolls. Create your own soap opera. Tune in after a long days work to see the arguments unfold...
:eek:
I just found a really long hair in a jar of pickled gherkins, which is really gross and upsetting...

d

[Doggie_Wood]

Maybe people find it exciting to engage with trolls. Create your own soap opera. Tune in after a long days work to see the arguments unfold...
:eek:
I just found a really long hair in a jar of pickled gherkins, which is really gross and upsetting...

d

dafy - did the hare eat any of the pickles? :tongue:

Doggie :doggie:

[curious married m]

ROLLS EYES AND SHAKES HEAD at all the bullshit

BTW Arana , Kate and Shy still love ya's and misses ya

:2cents::2cents::2cents::2cents::2cents:

[rissababynta]

ROLLS EYES AND SHAKES HEAD at all the bullshit

BTW Arana , Kate and Shy still love ya's and misses ya

:2cents::2cents::2cents::2cents::2cents:

*wipes at a single tear* I see how it is...

:tongue:

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Whoo hoo! This is shaping up to be one Hell of a weekend! lol
Good food, music, laughter, sippin', and snugglin'. Cant go wrong with all of this. :bigrin: (Tent hopping Is optional) LOL.
And Bare, hugs are always given in'a plenty and often, so come on and git yours whenever ya like. :}
PS One of ya'll might wanna bring some good strong coffee...we may need it for the Sober Drover's who make store runs, and in the mornin' espically.
Laughing Cat.

[*jeannie*]

Ok the twin thread "A Plea for the site" caused me to respond to their bullshit, even though I swore I was above it. That pisses me off. All I was asking for was respect and tolerance from ALL sides, not just from the ones who are my friends. I want EVERYONE to lose the hatred, I want everyone to get along....even though I know this is impossible...I was also hoping for some maturity. Whatever.

when there are many stomping on a few, the few have a difficult time being able to pull themselves back up. whereas, the many can easily stand upright but choose not to.

[mrplayfuluk]

do I smell the hint of paranoia in the air ?

[BareHunter45]

Nope...It's garlic....I'm cooking...

[Sourdough]

I just came back today. Been gone 6 months, got tired of being slammed everytime I said something. Hope it has cooled down a little bit.

[*jeannie*]

do I smell the hint of paranoia in the air ?

what you smell is the mob mentality driving non-thinking individuals into getting the most social acceptance by selling out to the largest group's ideals whether that group stands for right or wrong.

[still_shy]

You've got your own thread to bitch on, go there and whine!

[*jeannie*]

oh, and you said you didn't do any of that stuff.

[BareHunter45]

I have tried to stay out of this...and I will only offer this one comment...you guys...ALL OF YOU...need to get past this...seriously...this isn't flattering to anyone. All of threads are full of this stuff. STOPPPP! If you don't...I'll leave....I've had enough and it is no longer fun reading the threads. Can we stop??? EVERYONE. Let my post be the last on this thread...PLEASE??

[still_shy]

I would like for this to be the last. I started it, I want to finish it. I'm fed up. I started out the day trying to be reasonable and ended up the day cussing and insulting people...exactly what I was preaching against. I let it get to me and that's saying a lot. I'm generally a nice calm person, not this bitchy whiny person today has turned me into. Let's let this thread die a quick death and go back to the pissing matches. I'm done.

[dafydd]

dafy - did the hare eat any of the pickles? :tongue:

Doggie :doggie:

I'm sorry but it's really unacceptable. How did it get in there? Whose hair? I love that brand of gherkins. And now I can't buy them ever again.
Sorry to hijack the thread.
d

[still_shy]

That's just gross...I don't think I'd be able to buy them again either :(

[Curious-Jim2009]

I can't say that I have witnessed what you are talking about but if you get an asshole on the site bothering you, ignore them. Pretty easy to deal with if you ask me.

[bicurcple]

*smacks void upside the head* snap out of it ya navel perv. :tong:

Smooches to you m'dear. You have a wonderful way with words.

Shy sweety, you are absolutely beautiful and I have always respected the hell out of you. You are SO right. I can not believe that we all have let this site get hijacked. There is absolutely no reason why the regulars can't have a good time here anymore...as long as everyone is in agreement about those who make others feel like shit should be ignored.

We agree. Well said, and welcome back rissa....

[still_shy]

We agree. Well said, and welcome back rissa....

Thank you, I'm glad there are actually people who get what I was trying to say! And that you weren't distracted from my main point by my bad behavior yesterday :)

[rissababynta]

Thank you, I'm glad there are actually people who get what I was trying to say! And that you weren't distracted from my main point by my bad behavior yesterday :)

psh...girl...I called someone a twat...lol.

and thanks for the welcoming...don't know how long i'll be around though. But thanks anyway.

[still_shy]

You have to stick around....it just wasn't the same without you!! I missed you!!

I'm still holding that card...one of these days I might actually use it LOL

[Mmonty]

Very nicely said. When I first found this site I was impressed by the very nice people in the chat room and got the overall impression that this site was different than most. I don't get in that often , so I don't think I've noticed the change that those who are more regular have. With any open site, there will be those who you wouldn't want to associate with in the real world who bring those attitudes here with them. It just like a friendly pub or coffee house. It will attract all sorts. I think the ones that are disruptive will be the transient ones that will leave. Hopefully the nice ones will still be here.

[mrplayfuluk]

Sometimes you just have to show your teeth when the bad peeps come around as Drew rarely puts his awe in its up to those who spend lots of time here to keep an eye on things. Not in an oppressive way but when people attempt to disrupt things, show them this site, while being an open house generally for debate, will defend the rules set out by Drew that we see everytime we start writing a reply...

[still_shy]

Sometimes you just have to show your teeth when the bad peeps come around as Drew rarely puts his awe in its up to those who spend lots of time here to keep an eye on things. Not in an oppressive way but when people attempt to disrupt things, show them this site, while being an open house generally for debate, will defend the rules set out by Drew that we see everytime we start writing a reply...

I absolutely agree MrPlayful. Drew can only do so much on his own. I know people are accusing us of quashing down any opinion that doesn't mesh with ours...I stand by my original statement asking for respect and kindness for everyone, not just my friends. Then again, some people don't deserve respect when all they do is insult and inflame the forums. So...it's a double edged sword.

[Jackal]

I agree Shy. I don't pop by or post much because so much of it is just vicious fighting. Not discourse on any relevant issue, but attacks on people's character and so on. Come on, we're better than this.