Cherokee_Mountaincat
Jun 2, 2010, 6:24 PM
If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting? (Its a crime if ya dont pay her...then you'll hear a Whore-moan...):eek:
Can you cry under water? (yeah, but you'll drown later.)
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? (Jury's still out on that one) *Snicker* :color:
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? (Taxes and inflation):cowboy:
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? (Well it aint like they got a Gucci's there ya know!)
Why does a round pizza come in a square box? (To confuse people)
What disease did cured ham actually have? (Swinefunella...):tong:
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? (Cuz women came up with that concept. Helllooooo!):female:
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? (Do they make adult Binky's???):eek2:
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? (Marcell Marsou was translating):oh:
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? (Its in the script):nrrdgrrl:
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? (Friggin Tourists) :rolleyes:
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.. (They's shy...Or would prefer to peek thru the little curtin while ya undress then act like nuthing happened):crosseye:
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? (Well cuz its not quite as sexy panting "I want to bite yer pantie off"..Somehow just doesnt have the same effect) :love:
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat ? (Hey, thats the only way my sister-in-law knew how ta cook things. When the smoke alarm went off, dinner was ready):impleased
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? (Cuz when Jimmy got done crackin the corn it became Shine!) :bigrin:
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? (Uhmm, I'd haveta ask the Stater boys about that one....):cop:
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? (Cuz he wudnt no carpenter....):wiggle2:
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! (Its in their contract...):doggie:
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? (Determination, man. It had become personal by that point):banghead:
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? (Petrolium based products. Just like Girl Scout cookies aint made from real Girl Scouts):confused:
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
(Only in Washington D.C.):stoned:
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above? (Not me):bigrin:
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your aSS? (Is that anything like that ring around Uranus??)
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? (Duh! He gets mad cuz yer breath is b'hind it...geez:rolleyes:)
If you arent a Moron, does that make you a Less-on? (Only in certain states of intoxication...) :)
Can you cry under water? (yeah, but you'll drown later.)
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? (Jury's still out on that one) *Snicker* :color:
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? (Taxes and inflation):cowboy:
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? (Well it aint like they got a Gucci's there ya know!)
Why does a round pizza come in a square box? (To confuse people)
What disease did cured ham actually have? (Swinefunella...):tong:
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? (Cuz women came up with that concept. Helllooooo!):female:
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? (Do they make adult Binky's???):eek2:
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? (Marcell Marsou was translating):oh:
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? (Its in the script):nrrdgrrl:
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? (Friggin Tourists) :rolleyes:
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.. (They's shy...Or would prefer to peek thru the little curtin while ya undress then act like nuthing happened):crosseye:
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? (Well cuz its not quite as sexy panting "I want to bite yer pantie off"..Somehow just doesnt have the same effect) :love:
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat ? (Hey, thats the only way my sister-in-law knew how ta cook things. When the smoke alarm went off, dinner was ready):impleased
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? (Cuz when Jimmy got done crackin the corn it became Shine!) :bigrin:
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? (Uhmm, I'd haveta ask the Stater boys about that one....):cop:
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? (Cuz he wudnt no carpenter....):wiggle2:
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! (Its in their contract...):doggie:
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? (Determination, man. It had become personal by that point):banghead:
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? (Petrolium based products. Just like Girl Scout cookies aint made from real Girl Scouts):confused:
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
(Only in Washington D.C.):stoned:
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above? (Not me):bigrin:
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your aSS? (Is that anything like that ring around Uranus??)
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? (Duh! He gets mad cuz yer breath is b'hind it...geez:rolleyes:)
If you arent a Moron, does that make you a Less-on? (Only in certain states of intoxication...) :)