Alienated by "mainstream" gay culture.

[H0wardmoon]

PArt of my struggle with identifying as bisexual has been that I feel alienated from what can only be described as "mainstream" gay culture. By this I mean the tendency towards pigeonholing particular body types (twink, bear, shaved, hairy, etc) and dividing into tops and bottoms. I never know how to reply to whether I'm a top or a bottom, I just want to get together with a guy and rub cocks.

Does anybody else feel this way?

[softfruit]

Yup, it's why I find the bi spaces so much more comfortable. Well, one of the reasons! :) In the UK at least they tend to be much more of a mish-mash than a lot of lesbian/gay places.

[kinsey4]

I've done a lot of work in LGBT communities, running the queer group at my university the last three years, writing a queer column for the student paper, volunteering on the local gay helpline and for the New Zealand AIDS foundation, organising and hosting sexual health awareness evenings and setting up a sexual health network as part of the local LGBT advocacy service, campaigning for civil unions etc, attending workshops on trans activism and so on, and I still feel that gay men aren't (on the whole) willing to accept the existence of bisexuality - they just don't see it as a legitimate orientation, and those who do are often outright hostile. It's like I don't fit in with the straights OR the gays.

Also, identifying as poly, I find both sides think I'm crazy and wrong - New Zealand has civil unions for LGBT people who want them, and it seems like the straights are getting sluttier (just look at MTV and bar-sexual girls) while the gays have got all conservative and prudish - and then the straights complain about how the more liberal sexual attitudes they've adopted are destroying their relationships and the gays are cheating on each other left, right and center and being right hypocrites. It really pisses me off, they invalidate MY choices and then they don't even act responsibly with their own.

Grrr!!!

[H0wardmoon]

thank you for your kind words.

[citystyleguy]

in truth, i am alienated by 'mainstream' anything; know what you like and motivates you, make it your own, and damn the rest of the world, enjoy yourself, otherwise you will find yourself at the end with nothing to show for all your efforts! ...and that's really alienating!!!