Lesbian Constance McMillan Gets $35K Settlement from School District

[MarieDelta]

http://www.opposingviews.com/i/lesbian-constance-mcmillan-gets-35k-settlement-from-school-district

Constance McMillan – the brave lesbian teen from rural Mississippi who took on her school when she was not allowed to bring her girlfriend to the prom, will receive $35,000 as part of a settlement of a discrimination lawsuit.

The Itawamba County School District also agreed to follow a nondiscrimination policy as part of the settlement.

“I knew it was a good cause, but sometimes it really got to me. I knew it would change things for others in the future and I kept going and I kept pushing,” Constance said in an interview with NPR earlier today.
Constance, now 18, saw her world turned upside down because of her fight to take her girlfriend to her prom. She prevailed in a legal battle but her school decided to cancel the prom for everyone rather than have a lesbian couple on the dance floor. Then parents threw a private prom and did not include Constance.

Such a disgrace!

But Constance has become a bonafide LGBT activist and hero through it all appearing on the talk shows of both Ellen DeGeneres and Wanda Sykes, getting an ovation at the GLAAD Media Awards in LA where she introduced honoree Sykes. She was also honored last month by LifeWorks Mentoring and was among the LGBT activist invited to a White House reception last month.
“All the good attention is great, it’s really surreal,” Constance told me at the GLAAD Awards. “It’s hard to imagine that something like this would go this far. It’s really overwhelming and it’s hard to even believe because it’s so amazing.”

“My hometown is horrible – the [lack of] support that they’ve shown is horrible,” she added. “But from across the world, it’s absolutely amazing how much support I’ve had. That’s really what keeps me going.”


Sounds like some good came out of the whole situation.

[Robinium]

It's good that this weird school has to pay for what they did. Cancelling the prom for everyone just because a lesbian couple might show up is awful.

By the way, I could use 35.000 $ too and sueing for LGBT rights is a nice idea. If you have any suggestions, it would be great.

[darkeyes]

Good.. if it was me I would already be sounding out every single remotely gay or lesbian person in the school to about considering who their partners are for the next prom.. and if there is any straight support, that they too consider taking one of the same sex as their partner as a mark of solidarity.. and God help the school if it cuts up rough and creates problems..

[Robinium]

Good.. if it was me I would already be sounding out every single remotely gay or lesbian person in the school to about considering who their partners are for the next prom.. and if there is any straight support, that they too consider taking one of the same sex as their partner as a mark of solidarity.. and God help the school if it cuts up rough and creates problems..

Honestly, if I were a gay or lesbian at that school, I would even fake having a partner if I did not have one. Then I would pray that they stay stubborn and deny me showing up with my "partner" for the next prom and would sue them and share the money with the "partner". Maybe I would even do that if I were straight. Most effective way to be "gay for pay".

:2cents::2cents::2cents::2cents::2cents::2cents::2 cents::2cents::2cents::2cents::bigrin:

[Long Duck Dong]

she lost out on the school prom, her own partner never went with her to the other prom, she got driven out of the school, ( also her friend and his family were run out of town ) and word has it, shes getting run out of town....

the lgbt never benefited from this in that town.... only constance did, she netted 65k in total and a internment..... and in the end, it never made it thru the courts for a full ruling.......

and to think... the first court case about prom and school issues was 25 years ago...... so this was by no means a good win for the lgbt and a victory
instead, it turned a small town very hostile and started a massive hate campaign on the net......

if this is a victory for the lgbt in the usa... its no wonder they are still struggling to gain any lee way in the fight for rights

[MarieDelta]

@ LDD

It is a victory.

First - The school has now instituited a non discrimination policy.

Second - This court case sets a precedent for other students. In other words other schools in Miss will be reluctant to try the same thing. Having been shown that the courts are not on their side. Missippi has the worst record when it comes to student lgbt rights, so bear that in mind.

Last - it has made national news. Its being talked about on a global scale.

Monetarily she has done very well for herself, however I dont think that is why she went into this fight to begin with.

As far as her leavng town, well it sounds like this just illuminated what type of bigoted jerks they are, is all. If they are going to act like this what would it be like if/when she came out as an adult?

I think its better to have real tangible rights than rights in name only, but perhaps that is just me.

[Robinium]

I would also leave a place full of intolerant jerks and move elsewhere. No way they get even one cent of my money in their stores, for rent, as taxmoney etc.

[MarieDelta]

In her own words-


"I'm so glad this is all over. I won't ever get my prom back, but it's worth it if it changes things at my school," McMillen said in a press release. "I hope this means that in the future students at my school will be treated fairly. I know there are students and teachers who want to start a gay-straight alliance club, and they should be able to do that without being treated like I was by the school."

http://www.tonic.com/article/judicial-win-for-constance-mcmillen/

Also the school is required now as part of the setlement to adopt a non-discrimination policy -


The district also agreed to follow a non-discrimination policy as part of the settlement, though it argues such a policy was already in place.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_lesbian_prom_date

One thing is true, if you sit on your hands and do nothing, then nothing will get done.

[darkeyes]

she lost out on the school prom, her own partner never went with her to the other prom, she got driven out of the school, ( also her friend and his family were run out of town ) and word has it, shes getting run out of town....

the lgbt never benefited from this in that town.... only constance did, she netted 65k in total and a internment..... and in the end, it never made it thru the courts for a full ruling.......

and to think... the first court case about prom and school issues was 25 years ago...... so this was by no means a good win for the lgbt and a victory
instead, it turned a small town very hostile and started a massive hate campaign on the net......

if this is a victory for the lgbt in the usa... its no wonder they are still struggling to gain any lee way in the fight for rights

*shakes head an laffs at .com's very own Dysmal Jimmy.. blows him a kissie to cheer him up... muah!*

..a town has been exposed as hypocritical, selfish, discriminatory, without compassion, sneaky and downright nasty.. I think that's a pretty good victory myself.. who, and I include the majority of straight peeps, wants to move to a community of small minds like that? How the lgbt movement deals with it is for those in America. Now it can keep an eye on the place and continue to expose it for its shittiness and as a place for lgbt people either avoid or if they wish to be bloody minded move to and create ructions and expose it even more.. it isn't a perfect victory; quite a small one in its way.. but is in its own way an important one.. if only to show small town America that if it opens itself to ridicule, and enjoys the sport of humiliating a young person, it will pay the price of being exposed for what it is..

[MarieDelta]

*shakes head an laffs at .com's very own Dysmal Jimmy..

Is that the same as a "nattering nabob of negativism"?

[darkeyes]

Is that the same as a "nattering nabob of negativism"?

...only more dismal and miserable Marie me luffly...;)

[Long Duck Dong]

*shakes head an laffs at .com's very own Dysmal Jimmy.. blows him a kissie to cheer him up... muah!*

..a town has been exposed as hypocritical, selfish, discriminatory, without compassion, sneaky and downright nasty.. I think that's a pretty good victory myself.. who, and I include the majority of straight peeps, wants to move to a community of small minds like that? How the lgbt movement deals with it is for those in America. Now it can keep an eye on the place and continue to expose it for its shittiness and as a place for lgbt people either avoid or if they wish to be bloody minded move to and create ructions and expose it even more.. it isn't a perfect victory; quite a small one in its way.. but is in its own way an important one.. if only to show small town America that if it opens itself to ridicule, and enjoys the sport of humiliating a young person, it will pay the price of being exposed for what it is..

an A grade student in a supposedly anti lgbt town.....?????

there was proof originally that the town was not as anti lgbt as people are portraying..... but now they have a lot of reasons to be pissed off and be anti lgbt

what a victory..... 1 step forward for constance.... and 5 steps backwards for everybody in that town that supported constance or that was pro lgbt
constance had the ability and the power in her hands to help move that town forward more with lgbt support.....

now...... we have a town that is becoming the closed minded town that people want to see them as....... because of the way they are being labelled and treated as a whole..... by bigoted and blind people that are quick to label people as assholes.....

in a country where every pro lgbt ally matters..... the usa lgbt have done a brilliant job of costing themselves a large number of allies...... very impressive of the us lgbt......

yet its strange to notice that the people doing the bigotted judgements, are the lgbt themselves...... the same group that talk about dealing with bigotry every day.......you think they would learn by now

[TaylorMade]

an A grade student in a supposedly anti lgbt town.....?????

there was proof originally that the town was not as anti lgbt as people are portraying..... but now they have a lot of reasons to be pissed off and be anti lgbt

what a victory..... 1 step forward for constance.... and 5 steps backwards for everybody in that town that supported constance or that was pro lgbt
constance had the ability and the power in her hands to help move that town forward more with lgbt support.....

now...... we have a town that is becoming the closed minded town that people want to see them as....... because of the way they are being labelled and treated as a whole..... by bigoted and blind people that are quick to label people as assholes.....

in a country where every pro lgbt ally matters..... the usa lgbt have done a brilliant job of costing themselves a large number of allies...... very impressive of the us lgbt......

yet its strange to notice that the people doing the bigotted judgements, are the lgbt themselves...... the same group that talk about dealing with bigotry every day.......you think they would learn by now


This. Oh Christ on a stick this.

*Taylor*

[MarieDelta]

an A grade student in a supposedly anti lgbt town.....?????

there was proof originally that the town was not as anti lgbt as people are portraying..... but now they have a lot of reasons to be pissed off and be anti lgbt

what a victory..... 1 step forward for constance.... and 5 steps backwards for everybody in that town that supported constance or that was pro lgbt
constance had the ability and the power in her hands to help move that town forward more with lgbt support.....

now...... we have a town that is becoming the closed minded town that people want to see them as....... because of the way they are being labelled and treated as a whole..... by bigoted and blind people that are quick to label people as assholes.....

in a country where every pro lgbt ally matters..... the usa lgbt have done a brilliant job of costing themselves a large number of allies...... very impressive of the us lgbt......

yet its strange to notice that the people doing the bigotted judgements, are the lgbt themselves...... the same group that talk about dealing with bigotry every day.......you think they would learn by now

A wise man once said -


“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

By which I mean to say that if what Constance did pissed people off then they were never our allies.

The way they treated her and her friends tells me that.

"You are OK, as long as you dont want to be yourself" does not equate to "you are my friend, and I support you."

One is playing a word game , the other is support.

As far as her being an A student, that is more a testament to her than to the town, or their support.

[Long Duck Dong]

getting A grades in school is hard enuf without trying to deal with bullying and harassment......

and thats the thing..... constance only suffered bullying and harassment after this issue...not before... even constance stated that it started cos of the backlash from the face book etc hate speechs against the town and its people over the prom issue

most of the town didn't treat constance any differently before the prom issue.... she was just one of the crowd.... and a top grade student.....

what pissed the town off, was not constance,... it was the internet wide hate campaign that spread across facebook and other places and targetted the town, for the actions of the school board and the school boards ruling....
so now you have a whole town getting labelled as assholes.... when in fact its clear that most of them were not like that at all......

now what happened to juan.... remember him... the student that constance and her friends supported,... that got ran out of town with his family... where was her support of juan when that happened ......

it was not what juan and constance did that caused the major issues.... its was the people judging that town and its people that have done the damage..... but it has gone viral on the net.... and yes, you get feelings stirred up.... and with the anti lgbt movement in full swing, the last thing you want is more people thinking up things like prop 8

there is a old saying about letting sleeping dogs lie........but I swear that people not only like to wake the dogs, they like to start their tails on fire and then clam to be the victim when the dogs bite them

[MaybeSayMaybe]

Sing along with John...

http://www.metrolyrics.com/pablo-picasso-lyrics-john-cale.html

[MarieDelta]

She wasnt out untill after this issue , either.

When you start demanding your rights people stop treating you nicely, just as Miss Rosa Parks (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosa_Parks), or Quentin Crisp (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quentin_Crisp).




getting A grades in school is hard enuf without trying to deal with bullying and harassment......

and thats the thing..... constance only suffered bullying and harassment after this issue...not before... even constance stated that it started cos of the backlash from the face book etc hate speechs against the town and its people over the prom issue

most of the town didn't treat constance any differently before the prom issue.... she was just one of the crowd.... and a top grade student.....

what pissed the town off, was not constance,... it was the internet wide hate campaign that spread across facebook and other places and targetted the town, for the actions of the school board and the school boards ruling....
so now you have a whole town getting labelled as assholes.... when in fact its clear that most of them were not like that at all......

now what happened to juan.... remember him... the student that constance and her friends supported,... that got ran out of town with his family... where was her support of juan when that happened ......

it was not what juan and constance did that caused the major issues.... its was the people judging that town and its people that have done the damage..... but it has gone viral on the net.... and yes, you get feelings stirred up.... and with the anti lgbt movement in full swing, the last thing you want is more people thinking up things like prop 8

there is a old saying about letting sleeping dogs lie........but I swear that people not only like to wake the dogs, they like to start their tails on fire and then clam to be the victim when the dogs bite them

[DuckiesDarling]

Sorry, Marie, all the things posted state that she was a lesbian who was out for years at her school. Now what no one is mentioning is the fact that one of the students posted a letter stating it wasn't that she was a lesbian that got her not invited to the private party it was that she was a "bitch".

There is no denying that her filing a lawsuit changed the mood in that town, that it changed people who didn't care one way or the other into people that have been portrayed as anti LGBT and are now in truth anti LGBT. It might have been a victory for Constance and she can damned sure use that 65k to move to a more "tolerant" town, but it was not a victory for any other person who was curious about their sexuality or thinking about coming out.

Just my :2cents:

[MarieDelta]

Sorry, Marie, all the things posted state that she was a lesbian who was out for years at her school. Now what no one is mentioning is the fact that one of the students posted a letter stating it wasn't that she was a lesbian that got her not invited to the private party it was that she was a "bitch".

There is no denying that her filing a lawsuit changed the mood in that town, that it changed people who didn't care one way or the other into people that have been portrayed as anti LGBT and are now in truth anti LGBT. It might have been a victory for Constance and she can damned sure use that 65k to move to a more "tolerant" town, but it was not a victory for any other person who was curious about their sexuality or thinking about coming out.

Just my :2cents:

So everything is cool untill you wanted to be treated equally? How is that right?

As long as you play up to the straight people everything is fine. The minute you start asking to be treated the same everything goes to hell. This is what we are supposed to be asking for?

Doesnt make sense. I'd rather have rights that matter than words that dont mean anything.

To be a friend when its a sunny day means nothing, to be a friend in the storm, that is what counts.

[DuckiesDarling]

So everything is cool untill you wanted to be treated equally? How is that right?

As long as you play up to the straight people everything is fine. The minute you start asking to be treated the same everything goes to hell. This is what we are supposed to be asking for?

Doesnt make sense. I'd rather have rights that matter than words that dont mean anything.

To be a friend when its a sunny day means nothing, to be a friend in the storm, that is what counts.

Marie, she wasn't asking to be treated the same. She was asking for special consideration. The rule hadn't been made to discriminate against LGBT but the way it was applied by the school did. As was pointed out, no straight person could get a discount by buying a ticket as a couple when it was just two buddies going. So again she wasn't asking to be treated the same, she was asking for special consideration.

My point remains, her actions in painting the entire town as anti LGBT have pretty much created the environment she was decrying.

I want to know why Juan isn't a poster boy? He got ran out of town literally. His mother couldn't get work because of her son. Little things matter in a small town. I posted it before and pretty much got told I didn't know what I was talking about. I live in a small town, so hell yeah I know what I'm talking about. And there will be years of issues over this prom thing, little things that are not court worthy, things like a bit of rudeness out shopping by the clerks, having your food not cooked correctly at restaurants, pretty much just another case of shunning.

So she won, the LGBT didn't... not in that town and not in many small towns across America.

[MarieDelta]

Marie, she wasn't asking to be treated the same. She was asking for special consideration. The rule hadn't been made to discriminate against LGBT but the way it was applied by the school did. As was pointed out, no straight person could get a discount by buying a ticket as a couple when it was just two buddies going. So again she wasn't asking to be treated the same, she was asking for special consideration.

My point remains, her actions in painting the entire town as anti LGBT have pretty much created the environment she was decrying.

I want to know why Juan isn't a poster boy? He got ran out of town literally. His mother couldn't get work because of her son. Little things matter in a small town. I posted it before and pretty much got told I didn't know what I was talking about. I live in a small town, so hell yeah I know what I'm talking about. And there will be years of issues over this prom thing, little things that are not court worthy, things like a bit of rudeness out shopping by the clerks, having your food not cooked correctly at restaurants, pretty much just another case of shunning.

So she won, the LGBT didn't... not in that town and not in many small towns across America.

How is what she was asking for special consideration? Because she wanted to take her date to the prom? Her date happened to be another female?

Juan is another example of shity treatment by the townspeople. However he wasnt "native" and that caused problems as well. So they left, and didnt choose to stay and fight. Nor did they choose to pursue legal avenues. What more is there to say?

In fact I would say that Juan prety much proves how closed minded this town really is/was when it comes to LGBT.

You know , of course that LGBT, have never realy been popular in the SE US, just like many other minorities. As long as we "know our place" we are fine, but when we start asserting our rights, they just want to beat us down.

[void()]

Originally Posted by "Dr Suess"
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”


Always have loved this axiom by Suess.

"You are OK, as long as you dont want to be yourself" does not equate to "you are my friend, and I support you."

One is playing a word game , the other is support.

I concur.

there is a old saying about letting sleeping dogs lie........but I swear that people not only like to wake the dogs, they like to start their tails on fire and then clam to be the victim when the dogs bite them

Something I keep in mind, there is always three versions of truth. Not saying she did not do as you suggest, nor saying she didn't. But I can see how her case provides recourse for a cause. Then again, I'm something of the proverbial fence setter.

[DuckiesDarling]

We've been over this in a half dozen threads on this site, so I'm not gonna engage in this debate anymore.

You can legislate a lot things in this world, but no amount of court rulings can make another person like you. And that is what happened, she wasn't liked before she asked, she wasn't liked after she asked, she definitely wasn't liked when the prom was canceled. She isn't liked now or hated now, I'm certain the town doesn't give a rat's ass and won't miss her when she leaves. Just as I'm certain they won't miss the reporters and bloggers who think their town is just fodder for the movement.

And she wasn't liked because she just wasn't liked as a person. Not because she was a lesbian, but as that student point out, because she was a bitch.

[MarieDelta]

We've been over this in a half dozen threads on this site, so I'm not gonna engage in this debate anymore.

You can legislate a lot things in this world, but no amount of court rulings can make another person like you. And that is what happened, she wasn't liked before she asked, she wasn't liked after she asked, she definitely wasn't liked when the prom was canceled. She isn't liked now or hated now, I'm certain the town doesn't give a rat's ass and won't miss her when she leaves. Just as I'm certain they won't miss the reporters and bloggers who think their town is just fodder for the movement.

And she wasn't liked because she just wasn't liked as a person. Not because she was a lesbian, but as that student point out, because she was a bitch.

She was a bitch because she stood up for herself.

Its real easy to be liked, sometimes. Just "be nice" and let them do as they want. Grin and bear it because that way people will like you.

No you cant legislate people into being your friends, and that isnt what this is about.

It does prove that this is part of the Ole South Good Ol' Boys, though.

You can be a lesbian and be tollerated, but god forbid you stand up for yourself...

[Long Duck Dong]

actually constance was refered to as the bitch that was constantly getting in peoples faces and waving the gay rights banner every time she wanted something

there was also the issue that the students asked constance NOT to use the prom for grandstanding and as a platform for protest as she intended as the school frowned on that type of behievour by students....and constance stated that the school could not do that as constance was a gay person, constance had the right to protest at the prom.....
it was a bloody prom for the students..... it was a gay person that wanted to turn it into a protest rally

there is a lot more to what happened than you want to see, marie....and in the other threads, if you read back..... you will see that not only was I correct on a number of issues with what happened, I also stated what the outcome would be.......and got told that I know nothing at all, I am not a american ....

strangely enuf....I was correct in what I said......

even the students stated they didn't want constance at their party, after they lost the school prom...... immediately it was twisted around to be the secret prom that was created to piss constance off....by the LGBT.....

its like I have said so many times...... most of the issues are the ones WE create then we play the victims......

if we want to be treated like everybody else, we need to start acting like everybody else...not a pack of spoiled lil brats that think that being LGBT should give us the right to cheat on partners and treat them like shit, give us automatic rights to act how ever we please...... or blame the world for the fact that things are not perfect....and the whole world is not against us.... but we are steadily turning people against us cos of our tantrums....

take a lesson from nz..... the LGBT got what they wanted.... and now its all falling apart for them...... as they do not need their meetings and support groups to help them against the big bad heteros..... so many of the meeting groups and support groups no longer exist..... as the LGBT have become just one of the crowd.....

even so called gay bashing is now not considered gay bashing, its seen as assault .........

[Robinium]

Interesting, I did not know all these details.

[Long Duck Dong]

Interesting, I did not know all these details.

do a google search or look thru the forums here....... there was about 5 threads in here about it..... and its not pretty......

[darkeyes]

Do luff it when peeps reckon they told us so.. and have a peculiar view of the world on any given issue..

..am really glad that NZ has it all sorted Duckie.. I can't say 'bout every 1 who is L G B or T, but can say for me and a lotta peeps I know here.. bein' treated like ne 1 else is just how I like it, and should be how it is.. it isn't yet for everyone of us.. and I doubt it is yet even in a land as progressive as yours...

I long for the day when peoples sexuality is accepted in much the same way as their choice of job or their taste in music or whether they prefer people with blue eyes or brown.. nothing untoward.. just as is...:)

[MarieDelta]

Do luff it when peeps reckon they told us so.. and have a peculiar view of the world on any given issue..

..am really glad that NZ has it all sorted Duckie.. I can't say 'bout every 1 who is L G B or T, but can say for me and a lotta peeps I know here.. bein' treated like ne 1 else is just how I like it, and should be how it is.. it isn't yet for everyone of us.. and I doubt it is yet even in a land as progressive as yours...

I long for the day when peoples sexuality is accepted in much the same way as their choice of job or their taste in music or whether they prefer people with blue eyes or brown.. nothing untoward.. just as is...:)

I agree with you , Fran.

Dont think we lost this town, cant lose what you never had.

BTW for those of you interested in GLBT life in rural Miss - See Small Town Gay Bar (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0492487/)

[darkeyes]

I agree with you , Fran.

Dont think we lost this town, cant lose what you never had.

BTW for those of you interested in GLBT life in rural Miss - See Small Town Gay Bar (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0492487/)

Time will change that Marie.. nothing stays the same forever.. :)

[Long Duck Dong]

Do luff it when peeps reckon they told us so.. and have a peculiar view of the world on any given issue..

..am really glad that NZ has it all sorted Duckie.. I can't say 'bout every 1 who is L G B or T, but can say for me and a lotta peeps I know here.. bein' treated like ne 1 else is just how I like it, and should be how it is.. it isn't yet for everyone of us.. and I doubt it is yet even in a land as progressive as yours...

I long for the day when peoples sexuality is accepted in much the same way as their choice of job or their taste in music or whether they prefer people with blue eyes or brown.. nothing untoward.. just as is...:)

thats the thing fran.... I never said I told ya so....... I was told I had no idea what I was talking about..... and that I was not american so i knew nothing....

so DD tried...... but no.... we do not know anything...... yet is unfolded as we said it would..... and the reason is I have seen it happen in my own country..... the way you can lose a lot of supporters and allies with your actions.....

as for being one of the crowd in NZ

they won their rights and fights and found what I have mentioned in this site, to be true...... you remove the issue and you will remove the identity....
its a case of you say * I am bi * and people now say, * yeah, so what *...

even the hero parade, mardi gras and big gay out events are not gaining the attention any more.... its just another event..... cos we are just one of the crowd..... and interestingly enuf, the LGBT community groups are not happy about it.....

even another NZ poster mentioned about 2 months ago... how the social life networks are dead in NZ for the lgbt...... and that has a lot to do with the only thing that united a lot of them, was their * woe is us * gatherings.... when they would sit and take about lack of rights and discrimination etc etc....

personally, its neither good or bad in my eyes... its just a natural progression of events and changes......

[Long Duck Dong]

I agree with you , Fran.

Dont think we lost this town, cant lose what you never had.


strange... that was the same attitude applied by some lgbt to the churches and christians of nz....... yet it was some of the churches and christians that marched with us in support of the civil union bill........

its no wonder the LGBT are struggling in the us.... they are too busy trying to make enemies out of potential allies.....

there is a reason why nz managed to get LGBT rights sorted so fast....... we dropped the lgbt v's the world bullshit and used the we are one people, stance instead.......

maybe you should try it......

[MarieDelta]

strange... that was the same attitude applied by some lgbt to the churches and christians of nz....... yet it was some of the churches and christians that marched with us in support of the civil union bill........

its no wonder the LGBT are struggling in the us.... they are too busy trying to make enemies about of potential allies.....

there is a reason why nz managed to get LGBT rights sorted so fast....... we dropped the lgbt v's the world bullshit and used the we are one people, stance instead.......

maybe you should try it......

Glad it worked for you.

But its seems like rights in name only. Especially if you cant find anyway to actually excercise them.

Its one thing for the law to back you, and another thing to actually be equal to others.

Sometimes you gotta make a stand.

The churches here that oppose same sex marriage, oppose civil marriage, oppose any type of equality for glbt. They'd like to see us locked away, shut out of sight. Baring that they'd like to set us up as second class citizens with "rights."

Or dont you remember Fred Phelps (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Phelps)?

It would be good if we could achieve this by siting around a campfire singng Kumbaya, but that just isnt going to happen.

Your option seems to be always to downplay the discrimination, and that may work in some situations, but it isnt always the best option.

[Long Duck Dong]

mmm so fred phelps speaks for all churches and christians..... interesting....

so what about the lgbt friendly churches that have pledged support for the lgbt in the us.... as part of their practices...... do they not matter to the lgbt community..???? or does the lgbt community actually know they exist as allies..... and yes thats in the us..... there is ( I think ) 162 churches that have pledged support

and my option is not to down play the discrimination.... I am just not the type of person that judges a town for the actions of a few.....
it would be like me judging all trans people in the site, by you, marie..... or all bisexuals based around the actions of one cheater.....

you want to glorify * victims * of discrimination.... go for it..... cos the other side of the coin is you are labeling many people as anti lgbt and costing yourself support.....

points back to the ball memorial thread and what the outcome is there.... and then points to the other thread and what I said should happen at the hospital...... now tell me how I down played it.... and how accurate my statement was about how to resolve the issue and remedy it.....
then show me where you told me that I was being dismissive of the issue..... and I will show you where all you did was lay the blame.......

I may be outspoken and controversial, but once again, what I said was right on the money in that thread....... so maybe.... just maybe, I know how things work and can be fixed........

[Robinium]

Thank God Fred Phelps' hate campaign is not representative of Churches. That would be very gross. :eek:

I'm just waiting for the day when they'll catch him in the act with a guy somewhere. That would make my day.

[MarieDelta]

mmm so fred phelps speaks for all churches and christians..... interesting....

so what about the lgbt friendly churches that have pledged support for the lgbt in the us.... as part of their practices...... do they not matter to the lgbt community..???? or does the lgbt community actually know they exist as allies..... and yes thats in the us..... there is ( I think ) 162 churches that have pledged support

and my option is not to down play the discrimination.... I am just not the type of person that judges a town for the actions of a few.....
it would be like me judging all trans people in the site, by you, marie..... or all bisexuals based around the actions of one cheater.....

you want to glorify * victims * of discrimination.... go for it..... cos the other side of the coin is you are labeling many people as anti lgbt and costing yourself support.....

points back to the ball memorial thread and what the outcome is there.... and then points to the other thread and what I said should happen at the hospital...... now tell me how I down played it.... and how accurate my statement was about how to resolve the issue and remedy it.....
then show me where you told me that I was being dismissive of the issue..... and I will show you where all you did was lay the blame.......

I may be outspoken and controversial, but once again, what I said was right on the money in that thread....... so maybe.... just maybe, I know how things work and can be fixed........



Not glorify, but I am certainly going to close ranks with them.

Yes, when you tell someone that what happened to them wasn’t as bad as they said, that is dismissive. Or that they are trying to shade the truth. In essence you are saying they made it up.

If she(Erin) hadn’t spoken up there would never have been any changes. That’s what I am saying you gotta speak up. You know where the Hospitals administartor first heard of the case? From a google alert.

It is a choice to make noise. Sometimes that gets you labeled as a bitch, so be it.

I didn’t say *all churches* or *all Christians*, I said the "ones that oppose same sex marriage. (http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showpost.php?p=178863&postcount=33)"

No, I don’t paint everyone with one brush. Maybe there are supporters in that town, but where were they? If they are only going to stand up during fair weather, they aren’t supporters.

From what I recall of the case, she laid her plans out, and was told that she couldnt take her date to the prom, couldnt show up in a tux. That she could only dance with a girl if they were discrete, and no one else objected. Does that sound like equality to you? Really?!?

You dont want to get married using two ceremonies, why? Because it seems like a sham. I think the same thing applies here. She didnt want to play some game , she wanted her date to be her date. What is wrong with that? Would that have been so hard to say yes to?

Instead the admistration and the school board made her out as the "one who was responsible" for cancelling prom. When they were the ones who cancelled it, for fear of the lawsuit that she would (and did) bring. That the school settled tells me they knew they couldnt win this case on the facts. It was a clear cut case of discrimination.

When you challenge those rules, your supporters and friends are supposed to stand with you.

Its as DD said ,these werent her friends, they were never her friends. If they had been, things would be different. Its much the same with regard to LGBT rights, your friends will support you, if not then they werent really friends , were they?

[Bluebiyou]

Yeah, yeah, shame on them.
But you have to wonder if the school district was (possibly accidentally) wise to do things exactly as they did.
While the distance from Lucedale, MS is over 200 miles (300km), the culture is nearly identical. It's only been a handful of years since mixed race couples were banned from proms in this region.
It hasn't been two years since a fairly public murder by law enforcement:
http://ncaafootball.fanhouse.com/2008/12/08/billey-joe-johnson-top-high-school-football-recruit-dies-in-po/
If the prom had gone on as p-c, what would be the likelihood of violence? Some back woods Bubba angry at the world since his own childhood abuse decides to be an intolerant 'hero' complete with shotguns/rifles and excellent hunting skills... Hunting and guns are more common than automobiles in these vast wooded regions.
This way, the straight community had satisfaction from it's 'win' (prom without the lesbian) and a financial warning ($35,000) against future repeats of intolerance.
I actually believe things turned out the best way they possibly could have.
The culture has progressed from the absolute intolerance of 50 years ago.
But don't forget, lest we throw stones. Most people (usa, europe included) will kill or sexually mutilate their own children in total self righteous blind obedience of cultural conformity.
I have to wonder if the leaders of the community understood this flaw of human nature and deliberately orchestrated this alternate (and wonderfully non-violent) ending.
If there is one thing I've learned about southerners, if you think most of them are stupid, you are stupid.

[Long Duck Dong]

marie, show me where the school said they cancelled the prom cos constance wanted to go with her partner..... as the school never stated that..... its other people that have said that its the reason why the school did it.....

it was the parents that cancelled the second prom and the parents stated that they did it as they feared it turning into another court case and being sued for not letting a gay person go.....

it was the students that told constance if she continued to press ahead with her plans to go to the prom and use it as a protest platform... that the school would stop the prom.... and that have nothing to do with constances sexuality.....

I wonder how many other people were not allowed to take their partners to the prom, but that didn't matter cos they are not LGBT therefore they are not victims..... ????

the issue was constance wanted to take her partner to the school prom and wear a tux and have a protest at the prom.......... but its clear that nobody else knows anything about constances partner.... even in the court documents, the partner is listed as jane doe..... and constances friends have even stated that they did not know of any partner.......

so we have constance with some mysterious underage gf that nobody knows anything about and has not seen..... wanting to go to a prom...... and that still rises the issue of the school being seen to be supportive of people in relationships with underage teenagers and the school would have been seen to condone that type of behievour if they allowed them both at the prom

either way, the school board was fucked...... and cancelled the prom.... so it got turned into a * woe is the gay gurl * shit storm.......
now if the school had allowed it to go ahead and allegations of sexual misconduct with a underage teenager had come out.... then the school would have been in the firing line for knowing about it and not acting to prevent it...... and then there would have been a * the school are fucking mongrels for allowing it * shitstorm

so marie.... either way the school was fucked, you think constance is a victim and you support people in relationships with underage teens........
so yeah, go support the victims .....ahh victim should I say........ but there was more than one in this case.....

[MarieDelta]

marie, show me where the school said they cancelled the prom cos constance wanted to go with her partner..... as the school never stated that..... its other people that have said that its the reason why the school did it.....

it was the parents that cancelled the second prom and the parents stated that they did it as they feared it turning into another court case and being sued for not letting a gay person go.....

it was the students that told constance if she continued to press ahead with her plans to go to the prom and use it as a protest platform... that the school would stop the prom.... and that have nothing to do with constances sexuality.....

I wonder how many other people were not allowed to take their partners to the prom, but that didn't matter cos they are not LGBT therefore they are not victims..... ????

the issue was constance wanted to take her partner to the school prom and wear a tux and have a protest at the prom.......... but its clear that nobody else knows anything about constances partner.... even in the court documents, the partner is listed as jane doe..... and constances friends have even stated that they did not know of any partner.......

so we have constance with some mysterious underage gf that nobody knows anything about and has not seen..... wanting to go to a prom...... and that still rises the issue of the school being seen to be supportive of people in relationships with underage teenagers and the school would have been seen to condone that type of behievour if they allowed them both at the prom

either way, the school board was fucked...... and cancelled the prom.... so it got turned into a * woe is the gay gurl * shit storm.......
now if the school had allowed it to go ahead and allegations of sexual misconduct with a underage teenager had come out.... then the school would have been in the firing line for knowing about it and not acting to prevent it...... and then there would have been a * the school are fucking mongrels for allowing it * shitstorm

so marie.... either way the school was fucked, you think constance is a victim and you support people in relationships with underage teens........
so yeah, go support the victims .....ahh victim should I say........ but there was more than one in this case.....



The court papers proved that the reason the school board canceled the prom was Constance. Otherwise the case would have been dismissed.

Concelling the prom had everything to do with Constance, and the arguments to the contrary are without merit. Had it been otherwise the school would have never chosen to settle out of court. That they did so is an admission that they have no case.

Side Issues:

1.Constance had no actual date, did this only for the PR. - She had a date for the fake prom, didnt she? Evidently she doesnt have a problem in this department.

2.Constance doesnt have a gf. It doesnt matter if she has a gf or not. She had a date to go to the prom. Not every date has to be with one's partner for life.

3. Constance had an underage date. - Seriously? This is prety lame. Many HS Students take underage girls and boys out on dates. No one blinks an eye, for the most part. Dating an "underage teen" is not illegal, having sex with them, is. Even that is marginal, at best, for someone who is just barely 18yo.

4. The poor students werent allowed to have their prom because Constance stood up for herself. - They still had their dance. Acted like a bunch of very spoiled children, but they still had their "prom", with out her. Again the school board were the ones who decided to cancell the prom, not Constance.

None of the above issues (1-4) are relevant to this case. It just shows that there is no basis to the arguments used against Constance. They amount to red herings and acussations.

[Long Duck Dong]

The court papers proved that the reason the school board canceled the prom was Constance. Otherwise the case would have been dismissed.

Concelling the prom had everything to do with Constance, and the arguments to the contrary are without merit. Had it been otherwise the school would have never chosen to settle out of court. That they did so is an admission that they have no case.

Side Issues:

1.Constance had no actual date, did this only for the PR. - She had a date for the fake prom, didnt she? Evidently she doesnt have a problem in this department.

2.Constance doesnt have a gf. It doesnt matter if she has a gf or not. She had a date to go to the prom. Not every date has to be with one's partner for life.

3. Constance had an underage date. - Seriously? This is prety lame. Many HS Students take underage girls and boys out on dates. No one blinks an eye, for the most part. Dating an "underage teen" is not illegal, having sex with them, is. Even that is marginal, at best, for someone who is just barely 18yo.

4. The poor students werent allowed to have their prom because Constance stood up for herself. - They still had their dance. Acted like a bunch of very spoiled children, but they still had their "prom", with out her. Again the school board were the ones who decided to cancell the prom, not Constance.

None of the above issues (1-4) are relevant to this case. It just shows that there is no basis to the arguments used against Constance. They amount to red herings and acussations.

the court papers proved nothing, they never stated the reason the prom was cancelled..... I asked you for the schools statement as to why they cancelled the prom...you can not provide one


1) constance had no date...... she took another female friend to the second prom, not her partner

2) again constance never took her partner.... the partner that nobody could name or recall seeing...... most people I know that have a partner can at least give a first name.....

3) underage partners are not a safe area to go.... any intelligent person will tell you that..... the risks are very high of getting into trouble .....or accusations of wrong doing.....

4) the poor students had to arrange their own prom, why??? cos there was no school prom...... I wonder why there was no school prom..... oh thats right..... somebody, regardless of sexuality, wanted to use the school prom as a protesting grandstand to make a statement........ the other students just wanted to go to their prom

all the statements above, 1-4, show that there is still no proof that the issue is centered on constances sexuality...... but that constances sexuality was made a key point of the whole case, to make the case look better......

I am not a idiot..... I have seen many cases in nz where sexuality has been thrown around as a excuse for a person to play the victim......
the police used to get sick to death of the constant accusations of gay bashing, when most of the time it would turn out that it was a LGBT person being a complete asshole, causing issues then claiming they were attacked cos they were gay.........

but the lgbt are very good at playing the victims.... its just that people are getting sick of the lgbt using their sexuality as a excuse for their behievour....or to provoke reactions so they can claim there are issues.....

did you bother to check up on the schools attitude towards people with underage dates at school events.... cos I did.. and the school discourages underage teens with older teens cos the risks involved for both parties....
things like underage sex, pregnancy, accusations of inappropriate touching etc etc etc....
in a small town, they look out for the underage people and that is a responsible school.... good on them......

if it was a straight person that was going to cause a scene at a school prom and was denied the right to do so..... it would have not made the news..... as there is not enough * victim * status to rate it as newsworthy......

and while you are busy blaming the town and the school, are you including any lgbt people in that lot.... cos its all about being treated equally .....

[Long Duck Dong]

now I put it to people.....

if you know a person that has not mentioned a partner, yet suddenly has a partner that has no name, you never see them together, nobody else can identify the partner, and even during a court case the person is not identified at all, other than called miss jane doe.... at the request of your friend, and not at the request of the so called partner......
and nobody else can recall any knowledge of the partner at all.....


what would your reaction be......

considering in a small town it would be very hard to hide your contact with a underage female.... specially if you were a out lesbian and vocal in the town.... and the so called partner is supposed to go to the same school as you......

personally myself...... I would be very very sceptical of the partner actually existing......

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

lol Now she can throw her Own prom. :bigrin:
Seriously, if her cause helps to impliment a change in schools' policies, then more power to her. She's just Not going to do it in the "Good Ole Boy" states tho.
I wish her well..:}
Cat

[darkeyes]

now I put it to people.....

if you know a person that has not mentioned a partner, yet suddenly has a partner that has no name, you never see them together, nobody else can identify the partner, and even during a court case the person is not identified at all, other than called miss jane doe.... at the request of your friend, and not at the request of the so called partner......
and nobody else can recall any knowledge of the partner at all.....


what would your reaction be......

considering in a small town it would be very hard to hide your contact with a underage female.... specially if you were a out lesbian and vocal in the town.... and the so called partner is supposed to go to the same school as you......

personally myself...... I would be very very sceptical of the partner actually existing......

There is a girl, a member of this site as it happens, who began her relationship with her much older partner when she was 14 years of age.. living in a small village in northern England close to the Scottish border, and receiving schooling in Scotland in a small town just north of the border, both places a haven of old fashioned and not exactly progressive attitudes, they managed to keep their relationship secret for 6 years. Even after she was outed the relationship continued unknown for another two. Both were well known in bith town and village. The cases arent parallels exactly, but when outed, the girl got some right stick as did her parents for what she was by a small minded and hypocritical commmunity.

It is not impossible to keep relationships secret Duckie darling, and for one, or both partners to remain unknown.. even in small towns and communities..

[Long Duck Dong]

just cos somebody doesn't reveal a secret, doesn't mean they do not know it.....

its like a young kid with their hands over their eyes.... they can think that cos they can not see other people, that other people can not see them......

besides fran you of all people should know, being a teacher, that you know things about the kids that they have never told you........

[Long Duck Dong]

interesting...... a statement by constance......

constances interview (http://miamiherald.typepad.com/gaysouthflorida/2010/07/aclu-mississippi-school-to-revise-policy-pay-damages-to-lesbian-teen-denied-her-prom.html)

“I’m so glad this is all over. I won’t ever get my prom back, but it’s worth it if it changes things at my school,” said McMillen, who was harassed so badly by students blaming her for the prom cancellation that she had to transfer to another high school to finish her senior year. “I hope this means that in the future students at my school will be treated fairly. I know there are students and teachers who want to start a gay-straight alliance club, and they should be able to do that without being treated like I was by the school.”

constance is openly stating that at her school..... there is teachers and students that want to start a gay straight alliance

strange... that town is supposed to be a hate filled backwoods redneck bible bashing bigoted small town....... oh never mind... its the lgbt saying that......

looks like people in the town may see things differently, according to constance...... and yeah..... guess that makes me right too, there is good people and lgbt allies everywhere...... and that a lot of the bigotry is coming from the lgbt if some of the remarks in this thread and others to do with that town, are anything to go by

[MarieDelta]

Wow Like I said to begin with


“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

This IS a victory. For the LGBT in that town.

[darkeyes]

just cos somebody doesn't reveal a secret, doesn't mean they do not know it.....

its like a young kid with their hands over their eyes.... they can think that cos they can not see other people, that other people can not see them......

besides fran you of all people should know, being a teacher, that you know things about the kids that they have never told you........

Indeed I do Duckie.. but secrets are and can be kept.. discretion can be protected.. but we are not talking about teachers or students, we are talking about a couple who held such a secret for a long time and no one had the slightest idea. The reaction of the communities upon its discovery proves that.. and it still wasn't known even after one of them was outed by a vindictive little bitch who spotted her a long way away with quite another person.. the relationship remained unknown until they were ready to let it be known...

Now I havent a clue if this under age person is a figment of imagination or a red herring or what.. nor do I care.. but I do care that people are treated properly and with respect and are not discriminated against.. that Constance was not is obvious.. that she may well have been responsible for some of that treatment being brought on herself is all too possible.. I know, for in several matters of principle there are those who have attempted to paint me with the brush of troublemaker and they do so with any who decide on a matter of principle to stand up for that which they believe is right.. and I say carry on Connie.. and all the Connie's of the world who see injustice.. because statements of anti homosexual prejudice were not made.. does not mean that prejudice did not exist...

..and I look at Connie's statement about things moving on differently from you.. maybe at last there is realisation that how things have been were wrong.. maybe those who are not straight have been encouraged by Connie's fight.. maybe there are those in the school and wider community, as there are in all schools and wider communities who are tarred by association and location with the brush of bigot, yet are fair minded, compassionate and decent people, and feel there must be no repeat.. maybe just a few are popping there heads above the parapets encouraged by a young girls fight for right.. maybe not.. but then they are at least as good suppositions as yours...:)

Whatever happens in future, Duckie darling, school and community will think twice before having a repeat and will have already begun reappraising themselves and their attitudes.. hopefully in a good way in time..