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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]A guy was sucking my dick after I'd sucked his and emptied his balls and I'm just lying there enjoying being in the moment, sometimes watching him, sometimes just closing my eyes can focusing on the feelings when he stopped, cleared his throat, and then asked, "What are you thinking about?"

The first response was, "Nothing - is there something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong... just wondering what you're thinking about," he said as he kept stroking me for a moment before he went back to sucking me.

I didn't think I was thinking about anything but now he's got me thinking about that... and I discovered that there was a lot of shit going on in my head and some of it had nothing to do with what we were doing. Eventually, um, I stopped thinking period when the good feelings intensified and I was an eyeblink away from cumming in his mouth but later, as we sat and talked - and resting up for a second round - I was thinking about what I'd been thinking about and a bit surprised that my mind wasn't blank and/or totally and completely on being sucked.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I had other male friends in the city who liked to do it with boys... and some of them were like "girls," too. Doug was a cock sucking fool and that was pretty much all he liked to do. Aaron didn't suck dick - said it tasted too nasty for him - but I could stick it in his butt as many times as I could and he was happy and the only thing I could do him other than that was to jerk him off.

Greg was kinda like Charlie - he was a sissy and proud of it and he even had the nerve to have more girl-like features despite being a bit chubby. When I'd hang with him, he'd always remind me that he didn't care what I did to him as long as I fucked him. I could suck his dick and if I caught him at the right moment, he'd fuck me... but he'd say that he only did it because he liked me and it made him happier if I was fucking him.

Maybe it was a coincidence but, to me, it seemed like a lot of the white guys I knew were more of the girly type - they always wanted to suck my dick and always wanted my dick in their ass. I didn't know whether it was "just me" or just the way they were in this and, really, I didn't care but it would make me think a lot about it. Most of them didn't have a problem being sucked or fucking me... but they would have rather been the one doing the sucking and getting fucked and the thing that stood out to me was that they were all a lot more "open" to doing it than a lot of the guys where I lived in that when I hung out with them, the first thing they'd say was, "Let's go somewhere so you can do it to me - and I know just the place!"

I lived around some seriously horny boys in my 'hood... and the white guys I knew made my friends look like they weren't even interested in sex at all... and that is really saying something. I'd be on top of one of them (and in some way) and, collectively, they'd say that for them, this was the best part of doing it with other boys. Doing it to them was okay... but as Jeff told me one day, "I like being the girl when I'm doing it with another boy! You ready to do it to me again?"

And what he said stuck with me since it was pretty much the same thing Charlie would often say. Don't get me wrong - I liked being the girl, too... but not even close to how much the guys I mentioned like it. Sometimes, my white friends would fuck me in a hurry so they could shoot, pull out, and lie down so I could do it to them. Jeff told me one day, "I'm not gonna do it to you at all today - I only want you doing it to me!"

Well, okay... but what was going on? Things were starting to change, from boys not wanting to do it anymore to guys who didn't want to stick it in me or let me suck their dick. The fairness, such as I thought it was, was beginning to go away and a lot of the guys I hung around with would rather be the one to suck dick and be fucked.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Charlie was the one "girl" you couldn't give enough dick to and was at his happiness when he had a dick in his ass and one in his mouth at the same time. Carl, Sam, and Jackie were more... one-on-one and sometimes they'd get nervous if it looked like we were lining up to take turns with them; Charlie, by comparison, wow - he'd light up like a Christmas tree to see us standing around, our dicks nice and hard, and impatiently waiting for our turn to do it to him.

"Y'all can't do it to me enough," he said one day when it was just me and him. His family was out for the day and his parents asked my parents if I would "babysit" him even though I was only a year older. I lived on the third floor of the building and Charlie lived on the first floor so my parents had no problem with me keeping an eye on Charlie in his place (and it was a given that my parents would check on us at times) and sometimes I'd act like I didn't want to be bothered... but that was only to drive up the amount of money I was to be paid for watching Charlie.

Because I knew that the moment the coast was clear, we would be doing it... a lot. To me, that was payment enough but I'd been crazy to turn down the money, that and I felt that turning it down might draw some attention I didn't want to have.

"If I could, I'd let everyone do it to me all day, every day," he said as I slid my dick in and out of his butt. I loved doing it to him because it felt just like being in a girl and, at the time, that confused me but, later, I'd realized that Charlie got fucked and more than any of us... and he got fucked by more adults than any of us did, too, and I had suspected - but never really found out (or even asked him) that his father was fucking him as well.

Didn't matter, though. The one thing about us doing it to each other was finding out who else was doing it to us, whether it was just sucking dick or being fucked. Charlie would often tell me about the guys who were fucking him and a lot of them weren't in "our neighborhood" and, a lot of times, he said, he didn't know who they were... and he didn't care, either.

"You're my favorite, though," he said one day after sucking me until I shot. "Come on - get hard again, do it to me, and let's go see where everyone else is!"

I knew it was because he wanted more dick and I believed him when he had said that none of us could do it to him enough to make him happy.

The other three "girls?" Eh, they didn't share Charlie's enthusiasm for dick. Oh, they'd suck and swallow and liked having it stuck in them... but they weren't "fiends" about it, not really girly like Charlie was. Over time, though, Carl, Sam, and Jackie drifted away from the group but Charlie remained.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]It wasn't all that often when our horny group would include all four of the "girls" but when they were all there, sometimes, little arguments would break out over who'd get to do it to one of them. Clearly, we had our favorites in this and with Charlie leading the vote for most of us. Charlie would be like, "I don't care who does it to me - somebody get over here!" while Carl, Sam, and Jackie would often be more... discerning about who among us they wanted to fuck them.

I didn't blame them since I knew that some of the guys, well, they just didn't seem to get the hang of doing it "right" for some reason. Still, those guys could do it to me anyway and, when I'd think about them later in my life, it was probably the beginning of that moment where, sometimes, I'd just kinda laid there and let them do it to me while silently wishing that they'd hurry up and shoot their stuff in me. I mean, it wasn't that bad... it just wasn't that really comfortable things that would make and keep me nice and relaxed and the way a lot of the other guys could make me feel.

I was also learning that it was frustrating to want a guy to fuck you... and he just wasn't going to do it no matter how much you begged and pleaded with them. Sam got mad with me once about that and said, "If you can't ask Belinda to do it to you, then you can't ask me to do it to you, okay? Are we gonna do it or not?"

I guess he told me, huh? I was quickly learning that while us guys liked having sex with each other - and many of us were - in today's terms - versatile, not all of us were. In a way, it defied that sense of fairness we seemed to have; if you sucked my dick, it went without saying that I was gonna suck yours. Likewise, if you fucked me, there was no question or doubt about me fucking you in return. That's just the way it was... but I learned - we all did - that when "the girls" were involved, that fairness was out of the question. Back to Charlie for a moment, if I may?

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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]There were three other guys who wanted to be the girl but, again and today, I wouldn't say they were gay since they'd fuck a girl easily enough; it was just when they were hanging out with any of us, they only wanted to suck dick and take it in the ass. I don't know why they didn't wanted to be sucked but one of them told me that he didn't like to fuck because it didn't feel right to him... but having one of us on top of him and fucking him was what really worked.

They were just as rough and tumble as the rest of us were (except for Charlie) and if a girl wanted to do it, they were all for it. But when it was just us guys, well, Charlie had some competition, not that they could hold a candle to him; let's say that they weren't as eager as Charlie always was but, yeah, if sex was happening and any of the three of them were around, you could find them on their belly or on their back and with a dick in their butt.

I was hanging out with Sam one day - one of the three other "girls" - and I asked him why he never wanted his dick sucked and why he wouldn't fuck. He just shrugged and said that he just wasn't interested in those parts and that he liked it when we'd shoot in his mouth and his butt better. He made it clear that he wasn't a sissy like Charlie but he just liked being the one to suck dick, swallow sperm, and get fucked.

It was a shame, too, because he had a short but fat dick that I would have loved to suck and feel in my ass.

Carl was another guy like Sam but we all thought he was the way he was because he had five older brothers and he told me one day that they did it to him so much that he never thought about being the one to do it and, I thought - and knowing his brothers - they probably didn't give him a choice in the matter but I also thought that they didn't bully him into it and he did say that whenever one of them wanted to do it, he was very happy to let them do whatever they wanted to do.

Jackie, who was probably a bit more like Charlie, once told me that he was glad he was really a boy because if he was a girl, he would have been "in trouble" (read that as pregnant) a lot of times. I remember laughing at that so hard I fell off the short wall we had been sitting on. Unlike Carl, Jackie had said that he tried doing it but he just didn't like it but he did like having his dick sucked but, sometimes, he just didn't and he wasn't able to explain it.

"Just stick it in me and do it until you shoot," he said as he stepped out of his shorts and underwear. "I like doing it with you because you make it hurt but it feels good when it does." Jackie was one of the few guys who'd only do it in the missionary position and as I fucked him, he had said that he liked doing it this way the best because he could look at whoever was fucking him and liked being able to wrap his arms and legs around the guy.


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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]As I recall, at the height of our boy-on-boy debauchery, there were twenty of us who were up to the top of our heads sucking dick and/or fucking and some of them just a bit outside of the four-block area we considered to be our neighborhood.

We had just one guy - Charlie - who was "girly gay" and many of us had thought that his two sisters, for some reason, had turned him into a girl. If you think I was a shameless whore, Charlie was even more so; once, he showed up where we were hanging out and trying to decide what kind of trouble we could get into, looked at the six of us, smiled. and said, "I got something for y'all to do - you can all do it to me!"

We pounced on him like a pack of starving wolves and Charlie was in heaven to suck all of us and have all of us fuck him for a couple of rounds and had it not been for us having to go home for lunch, he would have gladly taken us all on for a second trip on the dick train. Today, I wouldn't say that Charlie was a gay, submissive bottom... but he was a very gay bottom and once told me, in one of our one-on-one sessions, "I love being a girl!" He was just a girl with a good-sized dick that only a couple of select guys could suck, with me being one of them.

It wasn't that he didn't like having his dick sucked; he had just decided, after all of us eventually got around to sucking him, that there was only two of us who did it the way he really liked it - well, that's how he explained it to me, anyway.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]But the thing I was really learning about was everyone's sensibilities about sex and especially same-sex stuff. I was understanding more and more every day why everyone said that it couldn't be done and it shouldn't be done and when I heard some adults talking about the Bible and what it said about it, man, I couldn't wait to get my bible and start reading it and I did... then I found the parts of the bible that said boys doing it to boys was a sin and they would hit you with rocks and stones until you were dead.

Very sobering stuff. I knew why adults didn't want us knowing about it, knew they were having a hard time trying to keep us from finding out about it, probably even knew we were doing it in some way and against everything they believed in. And even though I'd now learned about the sensibilities of others about sex - even among my peers - a lot of it still kinda/sorta didn't make sense to me because of the obvious contradictions: They didn't want us to know about it until we were old enough and didn't really want us to know about it then but they knew we could find out about it before we were supposed to... and it bothered them big time.

My friends, well, some of them were getting weird about it, too. Some who weren't afraid to do it were now afraid to do it or were changing their minds about doing it with another boy; some who were masturbating like it was illegal (and, in a way, it was) were really afraid to do it and with all these changes in sensibilities, I'd keep asking myself, "Why?"

I still ask myself that question at times. We are so fucking weird about sex. We know we do it. We know the ways it can be done and, as bisexuals, we damned well know that it exposes us to more ways to have sex than a lot of people want to be bothered with knowing. I've been able to travel the world and learned that in some places, a lot of people have those same fragile sensibilities while in other places, eh, what's the big deal about it? Our fragile sensibilities about sex are ancient and we're made to have fragile sensibilities about it. Go ask your neighbor if they had sex last night... and watch how weird the get about it.

And, yeah, it's still considered to be very rude to talk about it and so much that you can't even talk about it with whoever you're having sex with. All it tells me is that we're not as "grown up" about sex as we like to think we are and, indeed, there are other countries who look at us... and laugh at how childish we are about sex.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I was learning that a lot of people were easily offended when it came to talking about sex and there were even a lot of adults who'd want to start arguing and sometimes fighting about the subject coming up. It was never to be talked about, don't even ask about it, mind your own fucking business and change the subject before I kick your ass... and witnessing such interactions just generated more questions in my mind and a mind that was very keen to find the answers to. I was learning - and very quickly - how big a deal sex was either by reading whatever I could get my hands on to doing it and eavesdropping on any adult who had the nerve to talk about it and in any way.

I'd be with my friends and we were very eager to share any information we had heard of... while having all the sex we weren't supposed to know about or doing. Sucking cock, eating pussy, fucking the daylights out of each other, one on one and as a group. Pretty much all of the games we played could easily be turned into opportunities to have sex and the older we got, the more... suspicious adults were getting. Sleepovers were being "invaded" at random times and I knew that they were trying to catch us in the act... or stop us before anything happened... and I knew that they knew what we might have been doing - they had to know. Even I knew about how sex smelled; funky, sweaty, musky and a really heavy kind of smell that even opening a window didn't always make go away.

I knew that even washing up after having some kind of sex didn't get rid of all the evidence because someone could smell it on you... and I wasn't even an official teenager when I figured that one out. Sometimes I come in from playing, all hot, sweaty, and dirty and my parents would look at me really funny and one day, my father called me over to him and actually sniffed me before ordering me to go wash my funky ass.

And I knew why he did it. That day, maybe he did smell sex on me and maybe he couldn't since I had also been running around all over the place.[/SIZE][/FONT]