[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]When a guy tells me he doesn't want to have sex with me and starts pointing out how different I may be from that which he prefers, wow. Seriously, dude? Let me see if I understand this. I want to suck your dick. You want your dick sucked... and you mean to tell me that we can't spend some time doing that because I'm Black? Too old? Dick not big enough? Hairy? Not hairy enough? Not built like Mr. Universe? When a guy who's two years older than I am tells me that I'm too young for him, hmm, is that a problem? I think it is but the problem in embracing and rejoicing in the diversity is that when one has preferences, they should never be questioned and many guys get pretty bent out of shape when their preferences get... questioned or otherwise offended because it's their right to want what they want and the way they want it. While totally disregarding the fact that any guy can suck a dick. Any guy can get it and keep it up long enough to slide it into your ass and, likewise, there probably isn't an ass you couldn't get your dick into. Or a mouth. Or a pair of hands to pull on your pud until you pop your cork. Can't find a guy to do anything with? It's probably because you're not of a mind to explore the diversity more than an actually lack of guys who like dick. Any guy who isn't your type is disqualified out of hand. I don't have a type and because I've experienced the diversity, there's really only one type of guy I like: He's clean, healthy, of legal age to have sex... and he's not my idea of an asshole. And I continue to wonder why it seems like I'm the only one who has such an approach to sex with, well, anyone.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I've had sex with guys across pretty much all of the boundaries we tend to put in place. From all walks of life, almost every ethnicity, age, physical build, profession, education and even mindset and personality. Gay men. Crossdressers. Transgender. Tops, bottoms, submissives - you name it, I've probably had sex with them at some point in my life. Some of it has been glorious and some not so much. Taste the rainbow? Yeah, I've done that because to not do it - and rejoice in the diversity that is there to be had - doesn't make a lot of sense and, important, I think, I don't learn anything else about what it means to be a bisexual man. That guy over there? Hmm, apparently, he wants us to go somewhere and suck each other off... but he's not my "type" and in whatever way that means... and the question I've yet to find an answer to is why, if the guy passes whatever test you use, we won't just go and suck that dick and get sucked since, duh, we are agreeable to busting a nut with another man. It's because we somehow cannot find it within ourselves to embrace the diversity. One can say that if you had one dick (in some way), you've had them all... but that's not really true. We develop our likes and dislikes, of course, but we also make a mistake in this, i.e., if something was bad with that guy, it's always going to be bad with any other guy. And, sometimes, we let our fear of the other deprive us of the sex and even emotional comfort that, in fact, we do crave.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I think we tend to pick a place and stay in it or we get out of one box - heterosexuality - and get into another box - bisexuality - but once we find a happy place, we have no interest in exploring what else is in the box. We get preferences in place which isn't really a bad thing... but they also can be a deterrent and one that keeps us from exploring how truly diverse we can be in this. Not our type. Age is wrong; body type is wrong; too hairy, not hairy enough, dick is too big or not big enough, has foreskin or doesn't. Not the right skin color; not literate enough or maybe too literate for our liking. Okay. I get it. I have a thing about really effeminate men - they drive me insane and I know they do... doesn't stop me from having sex with one because no matter how he behaves, he's male (even if he doesn't think he really is) and he has a cock and such a guy is quite willing to have access to my dick and in whatever way we can agree on. After a lot of years of being fucked by a lot of guys, eh, I'm not that much of a fan these days... doesn't mean that I won't fuck a guy or want a guy to fuck me but if we can agree on these things, sure - why not and, importantly, as long as he's not my idea of an asshole. His race doesn't matter. Other than his personality and demeanor, nothing else about him matters except we can, if we can agree, have sex in some way. Health stuff? That's a given to be concerned about and taken into consideration but other than that, if we can do something, why not? The size or lack of where his dick is concerned means nothing... because it shouldn't mean anything.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I got into a rather deep discussion with my protege about diversity the other day and how he - and a lot of other bi guys - tend to frown on our differences instead of rejoicing in them. He's a white guy with a taste for Black and Hispanic men and if they physically resemble the kind of guy who'd play in the NFL, so much the better. Intelligently, he understands and sees the value in experiencing the men not in his wheelhouse and tends to always point out differences that, in the grand scheme of things, shouldn't make a difference. There's a guy who wants to have sex with you. He's male. He has a dick. Doesn't really matter if the guy is wholly gay or not; he wants to do something, is equipped to do it and you, in fact, want to do something as well and are, duh, equipped for the job at hand. Now it's just a matter of negotiating what, where, and when. My protege knows this because I've made it a point to pound this into his head every chance I get and the one thing he does that annoys the shit out of me is that while he is aware of the diversity, he never wants to embrace it, let alone explore it. And the sad part is that there are a lot of bi guys who are like this. My protege often gripes about having to deal with the same kind of guys - he has a knack of coming across a lot of guys who tend to behave in ways that makes him bat shit crazy and I've asked him time and time again, "Why haven't you checked out the guys who aren't in your wheelhouse, guys who aren't even close to that which you prefer?" And he can't answer me except to say that he knows that this is exactly what he should be doing which, of course, doesn't answer the question at all. That "twinky" Asian guy wants to get with him; he wants to suck his cock and take it in the ass, both things my protege, who is a top, just loves. The Asian guy is ready, willing, and available right now which is good since my protege is one of the horniest motherfuckers I've met in a long time. And my protege will diss the Asian guy in favor of the same old thing he confesses he gets very tired of. Why? Because the Asian twink is too different. Same for white men and he has a lot of contempt for white men that he can't explain either.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Fans of Star Trek will recognize the title of this writing. IDIC - Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations. We're bisexual and we all have this in common but even in this, we are different - diverse. From how we began this journey to what we do, how we do it, what we think and feel about it all... And we don't always agree on the many things involved in bisexuality but if there's something that divides us, it's that we don't easily learn to embrace and rejoice in our vast diversity. We tend to sub-divide ourselves into... sub-cliques: Tops, bottoms, submissives, dominants, crossdresser, etc., and that kinda makes sense since humans, being the social animals we are, are about "bird of a feather flocking together" so one of the joys of coming to grips with one's bisexuality is finding out that there's someone who is just like you or close enough for government work, as the saying goes. As I read this and that about bisexuality on the whole, I see a lot of people calling for bisexuals to really join together to take a stand - and defend - their right to be bisexual and similar to how homosexuals had to do this... but we aren't homosexuals and, as such, we don't have the same social issues they had but, yeah, society is trying to make the problems homosexual had/have our problems these days. But it's my opinion that until we can really and truly appreciate how similar - yet different - we are in this, that unity others are calling for will never happen and more so when so many of us are happy to be bisexual and staying off the social radars.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[QUOTE=TXLonestarTX69;341017]Dare.[/QUOTE] Dare
[QUOTE=TXLonestarTX69;341017]Dare.[/QUOTE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]But I knew, even then, what the problem was. I learned why there are some people you shouldn't ever have sex with... and I learned that there's a big difference between "not supposed to" and the reality of it all. It drove home being bisexual and in ways that I probably never would have been aware of. It wasn't totally about who you had sex with... as long as you were having sex. We make a big deal about boy/girl, boy/boy, and girl/girl and an even bigger deal about the I-word... and the reality says that despite the laws and social bullshit, none of it really mattered because in any of it, it's just what humans have always done. And the rules and laws, such as the are, be damned. I had become so comfortable with sex and my sexuality that it was kinda scary. I had learned and knew some shit that we weren't supposed to know or learn. I understood why sex, by itself, was such a touchy subject because [B]anyone[/B] could do it and for any reason that made sense to them and, yeah, if it was "risky," that just made doing it even more fun and pleasurable. And I had to come to terms with all that I'd learned in, what, ten short years? Man... did that ever suck! I could see how not coming to terms with it all would cause me some major problems, that feeling guilt and/or remorse, at this stage of things, was a waste of time since and because of the other thing I had learned: Once it's done, it can never be undone. Ever. Now it's a matter of how you feel about it, how it affects you, stuff like that. I've had people tell me, "Oh, you really didn't know what you were doing!" Didn't I? I sure as fuck did know even if, true enough, I hadn't known all of the implications involved. I've had people insist that anything I did before I became an adult didn't count and that I should behave as if it never happened. Like hell it didn't! I was up to my eyeballs being bisexual and pretty much in every way imaginable... so how the fuck could I begin to convince myself that it didn't mean anything and/or it didn't count in any way? Once I saw the fallacy in thinking like this, coming to terms with how I got educated in sex just happened. I saw the nature of the beast and in its truest form. And I was - and remain - very okay with that because, sure, I'm bisexual... but I'm also human. Oh, and I like sex. A lot. [/FONT] [/SIZE]
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