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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I just refused to be ashamed of being human. I'm not and shouldn't be ashamed about how I learned about sex and just because society says I should be ashamed of it. I also think that it's important for us to share our stories about how we became the men that we are because we can all learn something and the more we can see other men in this, the easier it becomes to understand ourselves and no matter how we got onto the path we're on.

It just is - or was - what it is... or was... and I'm the guy who'll tell you how it was for me and even those I came into contact with over all these decades. Was it always fun? No, not even close; I've had more than my fair share of bad experiences but I never dwell on them - I've learned from them. Hell, even getting busted being dick-deep in my brother's ass taught me something other than don't get caught - duh. My mom could have kicked my ass something fierce... but she didn't... and I always wondered why... then I figured it out:

Just because you're not supposed to do it doesn't mean that it never happens and that includes the broader picture of having sex with other guys, period. None of what I've done in my life makes me a pervert or anything like that - it just proves that I'm human... and I have an understanding that most people don't want to understand. All the shit I've done with guys is shit I [B]wanted and needed to do -[/B] and even being aware of the consequences of my actions.

But it's different when you grow up with this and as opposed to discovering it when you're older and supposed to know better than to lie down with another man and have sex with him... and I'm the very bi guy who calls bullshit on that kind of thinking... because it is bullshit. I proved to myself that it is and, yeah, in spectacular fashion you could say. Having an incestuous beginning? Just human nature and no matter what we've been taught about it and you know it's bullshit when or if you were leery about dicking down your sister or female cousin and she tells you, "As long as you don't get me pregnant, there won't be a problem. Now... give up the dick and make me cum..."

Sordid? Immoral? Sure... if you really believe all that shit you've been told... and it doesn't ever change the fact that it happens. It's just how we learn some shit and, sure, ya might get older, look back at those times and feel some kind of way about it... but it's a sure bet that in those moments - and if you had them - it sounded like a good idea at the time and, for the most part, it turned out to be a great idea.

And feeling ashamed of whatever you've done and over however you got started, at the end of the day, just doesn't make any sense. Most guys wouldn't admit to doing what I've done but, yeah, I did it, loved doing it, reveled in it beyond belief... but I also learned why they tell us to never have sex with other men - because you can't get another guy pregnant and it's been laid down that our job as men is to get women pregnant and any sex that doesn't go along with this isn't supposed to be fun or even done.

It's bullshit. I know it. Many of you know it, too. I'm just not ashamed to speak on it. Someone here asked me if my brother was still alive, would I still have sex with him... and my answer was sure, I would, you know, if he wanted to. Why? Because we can and, yeah, we did many times before his untimely death. Get all hot, bothered and sweaty with a male cousin? Sure, why not? Give a blow job to someone you don't really know a whole lot about? Again, sure, why not? If you didn't know them before the fact, you're gonna learn something about them after the fact, huh?

In any of this, the lesson to be learned is that a life lived in fear isn't worth living... and it saddens me to see how man men are fearful in this. The risks are real but they can be, at best, minimized by being smarter and, most of the time, not overthinking shit. In my crazy younger days, was I afraid of anything? Yes... and not so much; I wasn't going to worry about what other people thought of me about doing something that, in truth, they didn't know I was doing... and because they didn't need to know. I got to the point that even if someone ratted me out, eh, it didn't matter because, forever and ever, you cannot change what you've already done, can you?

I keep this shit real... because nothing else makes sense and it doesn't help other guys one bit to sugar-coat any of this.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]If there's something sexual that can be done that I haven't done, it's probably because I didn't want to do it... and there ain't that many taboos that I haven't totally obliterated in my life to date and, might I say, shamelessly so; I understand this sex thing for what it really is and not the way it's supposed to be. I have my limits; there are things I'd never do... but there ain't many of them.

I discovered sex... and fell all into it. Anyone, any place, any time and I mean that literally - because that's the way it all went down from having my brother as a lover to learning how to eat pussy from my older sister. Other relatives - more cousins than I can shake a stick with - friends, quite a few adults; it all combined to shape me into who I am today and is directly responsible for my understanding of what it means - and what it takes - to be happily bisexual... and then I come here and tell y'all about my journey and experiences and the crazy, risky shit I'd do just because that sex thing was too good to just walk away from and if I never learned anything about this, it's that everyone is fair game... until they prove that they aren't.

Hell, I'm the guy who gave his father a blow job because he pissed me off. Insane? Yeah... even I wince in "pain" when I think about that but this, too, is what it was. I did it, kinda wish I hadn't, can't change shit about it so I accept my actions and keep it moving.

I see guys struggling with this. I see guys expressing degrees of shame over how they got started and, well, um, if you think you have some shit to be ashamed of, look at my early days as I write about them - then think about the fact that I feel little or no shame over any of it.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I don't kid or bullshit myself about my bisexuality; I know how I got to this place and I know what I've done over the half-century of being sexually and bisexually active. It's never been a thing of ideal situations, being with the perfect guy or even sitting on the bench out of fear or paranoia over what could go wrong.

When I tell folks that, as a bisexual man, I've seen and done some shit, it's not an exaggeration on my part and as some of you have read here. And when I write something here, it's not with the intention of turning you on - it's to share this aspect of my life and with as many "juicy details" as I can remember - this being older just sucks and not in a good way.

Then again, I come from a time where getting some dick was a lot easier than it is today and probably because we didn't worry about the stuff that plagues some men today. Could we get outed or busted? Yep... just a risk like any other. Did we worry about catching something nasty? Sure we did - HIV/AIDS hadn't made an appearance and even after it did, honestly, not a lot of guys worried about it until, sadly, they had to. In a relationship with a woman who didn't believe in that shit? A problem... but one "easily" dealt with and with some worrying involved but not as much as there is today.

Got your introduction in socially and morally "heinous" ways? Just the way shit happens and make no mistake - it happens and, yeah, sadly, some guys aren't or weren't given a choice in the matter... but I know that even this fucked up thing isn't as damaging as a lot of people believe it is. Many would say that I got molested... but if I didn't think that was the case, did I really get molested and more so when if there were laws against it, I wasn't aware of them and had no reason to be aware of them?

But it still happened and there's nothing I can do to change it... and I wouldn't even if I could.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Even after all these years, I have the memory of how his cock tasted and felt, the heady and illicit joy of tasting his cum... and cum that I shared a common source with. I can "feel" him on top of me, fucking me with intense focus and, yeah, sometimes, I thought he was taking his anger and hatred of me out on my hole... and I strangely didn't mind.

I can remember the feel of his mouth on me; he was a master cock sucker and a determined one, I have to say; he never failed to get me off. I can remember the look on his face as I'd get lubed up to fuck him... and I'd see both his dislike for me and his desire to feel me inside him - it was kinda unnerving, to be honest. Once inside him, he'd fuck back against me shamelessly; neither of us were talkers during sex but I'd often hear him muttering, "Yeah, this is some good dick..." or other things like that.

We'd finish and some unspoken acknowledgment would pass between us that said that even though this was good and all that, tomorrow is another day and one where we just might try to kill each other. I don't know how other guys got along with their brother(s) but my relationship with him was very damned weird.

I remember one day where we fought over some dumb shit he started and we got sent to our room... and the sex we had was off the hook and I'm surprised our mother didn't barge in to see why we were making so much noise. We got finished with each other... and he punched me dead in the face saying, "This shit ain't over, motherfucker..."

I gave him one hell of a beating and today, I laugh at the image of us being naked and trying to do serious harm to each other. He said, "Enough! I get so fucking tired of you kicking my ass!"

"I get tired of kicking your ass," I said.

"Bring that dick over here," he said, waving me over to where he sat on his bed... and I went without giving it a single thought. He could have done some serious damage to me... but he never did but he let me know how unhappy he was about getting his ass kicked via the furious sucking he gave me that had me looking to see if he'd drawn blood or I was missing some skin.

Weird and all those other things associated with this. It happened... and I don't regret or feel shame about any of it: It just was what it was, nature really at work and probably the way it's supposed to work.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]After I wrote yesterday, I got to thinking about a few things like how some guys might... feel some kind of way about this, whether this is how they got their start or not. I also thought that we should tell our stories so that we can learn and understand some shit so that we don't have any shame when it comes to our desires for men, their cocks and their asses.

Someone here asked me if I missed having sex with my brother, who died, shit, over 30 years ago now and the answer was that I did. I've been with a lot of guys in a lot of situations but he was that one constant. We'd fight like rabid dogs and with malicious intent... then we'd "kiss and make up" and for the longest time, I wondered if he picked fights with me so we could screw each other silly later.

He denied it when I got around to asking him... but he did so with a sly smile on his face, telling me that even though our dislike for each other was real and genuine, he was smarter about this than I was - it just was what it was. I remember telling him one day that this was some really weird shit we had going on... and he just laughed.

"I don't have any regrets," he said after he stopped laughing. "I wanted it, you gave it to me, end of story, right?"

He had a point and one I had a hard time denying. Sordid. Nasty. Forbidden and highly illegal... and still a fact of life we don't really want to say much about... and I'm saying something about it so that other guys can learn some shit.

I remember him on his birthday and on the day he died... and I have mixed feelings about losing my only brother to a senseless death. Like most, I try to remember the good times... and a lot of those times were all about us having sex.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]The little brothers, after a bit of resting, took their turn with us. I couldn't wait to feel my brother's cock spreading my hole open... but Greg looked like he was about to freak out so since we were lying so close to each other that I could have kissed him, I just said, "Relax - it'll be in you before you know it..."

Eddie took that moment to push against his big brother's hole... and they both gasped. Greg looked like he was confused or something and Eddie looked like he had died and gone to heaven. I laughed to myself and settled in to be fucked.

"Let's change!" Eddie said and, for a moment, I was pissed to feel my hole empty... but Eddie wasted no time getting his dick inside me. He was smaller and a bit thinner in girth than my brother but it still felt good to have a dick back in my ass.

"Fuck me," I whispered and Eddie did his best to fuck my brains out or as well as a 13-year-old could manage. Beside me, my brother was wailing away in Greg's ass; Greg's face was a mask of concentration and I could imagine he was trying to deal with that curious pleasure/pain thing.

My brother came in Greg's ass and Greg said, "I can feel it!"

I would have laughed but Eddie was fucking me as hard and fast as he could and I think he was getting frustrated because he wanted to cum and couldn't... yet. I squeezed down on his dick a few times, heard him curse - then felt his dick swell a little before it starting pumping sperm into my asshole.

Ah... what a heavenly feeling... until Eddie pulled out and left me with that ugly empty feeling I still hadn't gotten used to.

We're on Greg's bed, all sweaty, funky, and sticky between Vaseline and sperm... and three of us were watching Greg for his reactions and I could see some tears sliding down his face.

"I don't know why I never did this - why we never did this," he said, looking at his brother.

"Took you long enough," Eddie said. "I thought I was gonna have to give you an invitation!"

We all laughed and I asked Greg, "How do you feel? You okay with all of this?"

"I guess I'll be okay... but we're gonna do this again, ain't we?" he asked.

"That's up to you and Eddie," I said. "We gotta get home before our mom leaves for work. Call me later if you want to."

I didn't hear from Greg for almost a week but he eventually called to apologize for not calling because, um, he'd been busy; I got the hint just fine. We eventually got together and talked about his busy time; he had said that he and Eddie were making up for lost time.

And that was the last time I saw or heard from him.

I don't know why I was thinking about him to begin with but one thought led to another thought and I found myself here talking about having sex with your brother.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Since Greg's parents were going to be away that weekend, he picked this time for the four of us to get together. The little brother's took the initiative by sucking us first and even trading brothers; Greg's brother, Eddie, turned out to be a very good cock sucker and a glance at Greg told me that he had an appreciation for my brother's oral skills. I thought they'd switch back... but they didn't and I happily flooded Eddie's mouth with cum and listening to my brother moan appreciatively as Greg unloaded.

"Wow," was all Greg could say as the little brothers took our place on the bed and we knelt before them to suck their dicks and, as they did, we switched brothers and, um, well, things didn't go well for Eddie; I tried to eat his cock right off his body and it didn't take him long to lose control and dump some pretty tasty cum in my mouth. I sat back with Eddie to watch Greg finish off my brother and, again, the look on his face was memorable as he swallowed.

"That was fucking amazing," Greg said; to me, he sounded like he was drunk but, yeah, I understood how he was feeling. "Now what?"

"Now you stick your dick in my ass and fuck me," Eddie said - and you could tell he was really looking forward to this.

"I don't know if I can," Greg said, looking over at me.

"Just go for it, man," I said, making use of the Vaseline I had brought with us to lube up my dick and my brother's ass. "Watch..."

My brother was on his belly and I mounted him, sighing as my dick slid into him with familiar ease.

"Oh, shit..." Greg muttered and I don't think he was even aware that Eddie was applying Vaseline to his dick as well as his ass.

"Come on, dude, stick it in me!" Eddie said, lying down on his stomach.

"Yeah, Greg, do it to him," my brother chipped in.

I looked at Greg, he looked at me and said, "Fuck it; if I'm going to hell, it's gonna be for a good reason..." and pushed his dick into his little brother's asshole.

The only sounds in the room were those of heavy breathing, a lot of moaning and cussing and that obscene slurping kind of sound of greased dicks going in and out of greased assholes.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum..." Greg said.

"Do it," Eddie said, his voice barely heard thanks to his face being partially buried in a pillow.

I was looking at my own dick filling my brother's ass and feeling myself getting close to losing it - then I lost it. I think I heard Greg groaning or something but I was too caught up in my own release to really pay attention to what was going on just mere inches away.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]"I think I need to," he said. "Come with me."

We went to a secluded part of the park and I introduced Greg to the joys of cock sucking. I knew he was anxious and all that so it didn't take long for him to fill my mouth with cum and I watched him to see how he'd react after the fact, knowing that some guys pretty much freaked out once they realized what just happened.

"Oh, my god," Greg said. "That was fucking amazing!"

"Thanks," I said.

"Your turn," he said as I got to my feet.

"You sure you wanna do this?" I asked.

"Yeah... if I'm gonna ask my brother if I can fuck him, I gotta be able to suck his dick, right?" he asked.

I just nodded and pulled my very hard dick out for him to suck. It took him a little while to get used to it and I told him I was gonna cum, his signal to stop sucking... but he didn't stop (and I kinda knew he wouldn't) and I liked the look on his face as my cum shot into his mouth and he got that first taste; it wasn't an, "Ew, that's nasty!" look but it wasn't a "I really like this!" look either.

"Your dick is big," he said. "Your brother can take it in his ass?"

"Yeah," I said, shrugging again. "He's used to it. You're pretty big, too."

He just smiled and we walked out the spot and found another bench to sit on and keep talking about this brother thing.

"So this ain't really unusual, is it?" he asked.

"Not where I come from, no," I said. "I'd say that it's pretty normal, to be honest; if you're gonna have sex with a guy, sometimes the perfect guy is your brother, you know, if he's down with it - it just kinda makes sense even though it's forbidden."

We talked for another hour or so and, after exchanging phone number, we went our separate ways. Later, I was telling my brother about it - after sucking each other off - and he said, "Wouldn't it be cool if all four of us could get together and do it?"

I thought it would be but I wasn't sure I wanted to put that on the table and, as it turned out, I didn't have to because Greg called a couple of hours later and suggested that the four of us get together.[/SIZE][/FONT]