All Blog Entries

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Purely as a bisexual man, I have sucked more cock and been fucked more than any woman I know... and I know a lot of women and their sexual histories. And I'm, again, sometimes embarrassed by this fact but never ashamed of it because there's no reason to be ashamed other than there being a lot of people who find this to be quite shameful.

I like to say that they have no idea what they're missing and more so if, as they proclaim, they love having sex... but the good part is that there are lot more people today embracing bisexuality than ever before. And while many folks are worried about what someone else would think about this, I learned to not be all that concerned about it because if I'm worried about what someone thinks about me sucking a dick, it'll make me not go suck a dick... and where's the fun in that? When it comes to having sex, I'm all about making it easier to have it and not making it harder.

I've been comfortable with sex and my sexuality for so long that I don't really think about it unless I happen to remember something or someone asks me a question. Guys ask if they should feel bad because they threw it down with a brother or some other relative/older guy and I'll ask them that if they wanted to do it and weren't forced into it, what is there to feel bad about other than breaking a rule that, really, not a lot of people pay attention to or abide by?

Because if everyone did, we wouldn't be having this conversation - ever.

I am bisexual and I don't make any bones about it or pull any punches about it and I will be bisexual until the day I die and when that day comes, I think the only regret that I'll have is knowing I won't be alive to be able to keep being bisexual; otherwise, no regrets, no thinking about shit that I had a chance to do but didn't but being able to take comfort in knowing that if there was something sexual that I haven't done, it's because I didn't want to do it for some reason.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]Do I feel bad about having sex with my brother or even my sister? Sometimes I do - I do have a conscience, after all, but I also know that I had a lot of sex with them because we did love each other (and on top of being some really horny motherfuckers). Do I feel bad about the many cousins I've had sex with? Not really because I understand that we didn't do anything that we didn't want to do or agreed to do even though it's said that youngsters don't understand what they're doing when they're playing around with sex... and they're wrong about that. I understand that even as "disgusting" as these particular events may sound, I take some "comfort" knowing that while I eagerly went along with it, um, I wasn't the one making the push for it to happen. Maybe I should have been more... responsible in this but it doesn't change the fact that it didn't happen and for those who might object to these things and say that they wouldn't have done it, respectfully, you weren't the one having to make that decision.

What do you do when your sister wants you to have sex with her and she tells you that if you really love her like you say you do, you'll do it? Or if she argues that she'd rather do it with someone she trusts before doing it with someone she has reason not to trust? You argue against it because you know if you get caught, you're dead meat... and then you make love to her because you do love her and that means more to you than getting your ass kicked for it. You've read a little about me and my brother - we couldn't stand each other and would kill each other without losing any sleep over it - but the only time we got along as brothers are supposed to is when we'd get naked and suck and fuck each other silly. Maybe the means don't justify the ends... but it worked right up to the moment someone else killed him over some dumb shit.

And if I'm going to hell for any of this, I know I'm not gonna be the only one getting roasted for all of eternity and I'm good with that and besides, if I'm going to hell, I'd rather go for "good reasons" and not petty ones, like I'm gonna go to hell for stealing a pack of gum or something like that.

And I've figured that I probably wouldn't like the person I'd be if I hadn't had these experiences and bisexually so.[/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]...you have an idea of what my sexual life has been like since I got introduced to cock. It is what it was and the past cannot ever be changed but I often wonder if things would have turned out differently had I not experienced what it was like to suck a dick, swallow sperm, and get my butt loaded with spunk. Would I have eventually discovered this somewhere down the road? Maybe... and maybe not but there's a lot of futility in thinking about this and all it does is make you insane trying to imagine something that, in fact, never happened.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]My bisexuality has taught me a lot of shit about sex and shit that "decent" people don't ever want to think about or even acknowledge and over the years, sure, I've wondered if I'm really some kind of pervert or deviant... but then I learn about how others are bisexual and some of those folks make me look like a sexual novice by comparison, that and it's obvious that I'm not the only one who has found loopholes in this sex things and have taken advantage of them.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]When I look back at things, jeez, it's embarrassing to think about all the men I've had sex with (and not even thinking about the women); like I think I said, if you wanted to have sex with me, it was as easy as showing me your dick and all you had to do other than that was to ask me if I wanted to do it. Sure! Because it was not only a lot of fun (for the most part) it also seemed to be perfectly normal for guys to want to do it to other guys. And while, in my old age, I've become a lot more discerning about it, I know it's normal for guys to want sex from other guys and if for no other reason than we are born to have sex; it's hardwired into us and now it's just a matter of getting it and if we have to bend or break some rules to make it happen, okay.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]And the most important thing, at least to me, is that I'm not ashamed of any of it. Embarrassed at times? Sure... but zero shame and I've always said that if I could go back and do it over again, I wouldn't change a thing and might even add some stuff I didn't think of.[/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Now, eventually, I knew two things. One, this thing we had going wasn't going to last a very long time and would come to an end the moment he found a girl who was willing to give him the pussy regularly... and I knew his mother would get around to saying something to me about what we were doing; it would have been stupid of me to think that she'd not be aware of it and put two and two together. You might be wondering why I just didn't tell her from the start and the answer is that I really wasn't sure how she was gonna react since knowing that I was bisexual didn't sit well with her and would get us "arguing" about that.

So when she came up to me with a certain look on her face, I knew it was time to have that conversation and I was prepared to have it and no matter how pissed off she was - and she was very pissed... but not for the reason I thought. She said, "Why didn't you tell me you two were doing it - and why did I have to hear it from him first?"

I had prepared myself for this confrontation... but not this exact question. I recovered and told her why I hadn't mentioned it before now and I was stunned when she said, "I had hoped you'd have sex with him but, damn it, ya could have told me!" Did not expect that reaction at all and to the point where I didn't even ask her why she had hoped that we'd have sex in the first place. All she did say to that end was that she knew she could trust me to do right by him - and that made me ask her why she didn't just ask me to initiate him and she said, "Because I knew he had to ask you himself. Now, can we go upstairs and fuck? I'm horny..."

Things came to the predicted end between us and I admit to have felt very sad about it but I was also very happy that he'd met and fell in love with a woman, too. When we had sex for the last time, it was hard for both of us not to start crying over the whole thing but we didn't; we just went through our normal routine and after we were done, he said, "I'm going to miss this a lot."

"So am I... but life goes on, doesn't it?"

I did have to backtrack with his mom and go through the whole course of events which, um, more often than not, had us fucking like rabid teenagers. I had figured she'd be horribly angry and, again, was surprised that she wasn't. "I knew he'd get around to asking you," she said one day. "And, oh, yeah, if you were wondering how he knew you were down with it, it's because I told him."

Oh... that's how he heard it. Well, damn. She had told me that she had sat him down and asked if he had asked me and to tell her all about it and he had obviously spilled his guts to her and, just as obvious, she was pleased with the results and more so since it prevented him from coercing his little brother into it, something we both had a problem with.

"I'm just mad with you because you didn't tell me yourself," she would often remind me. "He's grown and can make his own decisions about shit like that and I'm glad you were doing him because it made him very happy and if he's happy, then I'm happy and because you did, I love you even more than ever because you were able to do something for him that I couldn't help him with - except to point him in your direction."

In later times, I wondered if I would have gone ahead and done him if she had asked me to before he said something but it was a moot point; it happened when it needed to happen and no one regretted that it did.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Because I had known where the conversation was going, I had run it all through my head several times before he even got around to asking me if I'd blow him. Risky? Possibly but I also had a bit of an ulterior motive since I knew he was fucking my daughter and if he fucked around and knocked her up, I wouldn't have wanted to be him when he'd be made to explain it to us.

I told my wife about it and we had a long talk - she knew he was banging my daughter, too (and our daughter didn't know that we knew) - and to keep him from further traumatizing his little brother, we agreed that this was a necessary intervention of sorts.

"You know if his mom finds out, she might shit a gold brick," she said.

"I know but I'll worry about that when I have to worry about it," I replied.

I knew that he'd be back for more and he didn't disappoint me in this; I was pretty much sucking his dick three or four times a week and sometimes two or three times a day. At one point, he had admitted that he wanted to suck my dick but didn't think he could and I told him, honestly, not to worry about it; if he did, fine but if not, that's fine, too. Still, he felt that he had to do something for me and decided that since he couldn't bring himself to suck me, perhaps I could fuck him... and that set off some alarms in my head because I still hadn't resolved my issues around anal sex.

One day he comes in and comes right to me and asks if I'd suck his dick but with a twist - he wanted us to shower together. I thought, "This is different..." but I agree and we hit the shower together and as we showered, wow, I wanted to feel him inside me so I turned to him and said, "Soap your dick up good, get soap on your finger and ease it in my butt and when I tell you, put your dick in my ass and fuck me." The look on his face was precious but he did as I said... and I was still wondering what the fuck I was thinking as I felt his hardness slide into me.

"Oh, damn," he groaned as he started to fuck me and before I could get into it, I felt his dick swell, followed by that intense pumping action as he filled my ass with cum - and it was heavenly. He pulled out and I felt empty and strangely disappointed when I heard him say, "Now fuck me!" I want to do get into him slowly even while trying to quickly tell him about this but he said, "Just put it in me - I can handle it!"

I pushed... and went into him easily and as if he'd been fucked before - but I knew he hadn't lied to me when he said that he hadn't. It didn't take me long to bust inside him and I heard him say, "Yeah, that's what I needed!" We washed up, got dried, and went straight to the bedroom where I sucked him into hardness, used a proper lube on both of us, and rode his dick for a while before he unloaded in me again and it was even better the second time. Could it be that I'd found the guy who was "worthy" of fucking me and would end my anal abstinence?

Um, no. As it turned out, he didn't like fucking me one bit although he admitted that it felt good to him but not what he really wanted and needed from me; he wanted me to suck him off then fuck him, nothing more, nothing less and as much as that pissed me off, I had no choice but to honor what he wanted.

Now, he did try to blow me once, when he was kinda drunk after hanging with his boys and while I thought he did a decent job (but I didn't cum) he said that it was nice but not his thing; he was just fine with the way we were already doing things and, strangely, I wasn't all that upset about it.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]"I think I understand it," he said. "But why do you think I don't?"

I spend the next fifteen minutes or so explaining the implications of going this route, both the good and the bad of it and I didn't pull any punches or sugar coat any of it and if you think I was going out of my way to talk him out of this, you'd be right. I finished by telling him that he was an adult now so it was up to him to act like an adult in this and to make a decision one way or the other while really understanding what it all meant and especially what it meant for me to do this for him and how it could fuck everything up for everyone.

I sat there and watched him think before he cleared his throat and said, "I understand. Will you suck my cock for me, please? I don't know what else to do and if I can't trust you, who can I trust?"

I had already made up my mind about this and I would blow him - but only if he showed me that he really did understand the implications and that he approached this in an adult way. I told him, "Okay, I'll do it - just let me know when you're ready and take some time to think about it some more."

"How about right now?" he asked - and, yes, I knew he was gonna say that.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "Once I do this, there's no going back."

"Yes. Please." he said. He lifted his butt up enough to slide his pants and underwear down to reveal a very nice cock and one that appeared to be so hard I figured it had to hurt like a motherfucker. I looked at him, saw that "desperate" look on his face and leaned over and took him into my mouth. He groaned and immediately started fucking into my mouth and, honestly, I half-expected him to blow his load in a matter of seconds so I stopped long enough to say one word to him: "Relax." I took my time sucking him, using a few tricks I'd picked up along the way to keep him from busting before he really got a good feel for what he had asked for.

Moments later, he exploded in my mouth and I dutifully swallowed his rather tasty load; I sat up and looked at him and almost laughed at the look on his face - and I did laugh when he said, "That was better than any girl who sucked me! You are really good at it!"

"So now what?" I asked him.

"Can you do it again?"

"Is that what you want?"

"Yes. Please."

"What, right now?"

"Please."

"Okay... but what about tomorrow? The day after? Next week?" I asked so I could drive home a necessary point.

"I don't understand," he said.

"Look, if you wanna do this again down the road, you're gonna have to ask for it like a man and don't expect me to just do it," I said, hitting him with this very adult thing to do. "If you don't ask for what you want, I'm going to just ignore you."

"Oh, okay - I understand," he said. I went back down on him but I'll admit that this time, it was for my pleasure. He went to bed with a huge grin on his face, leaving me to think some more about what had just happened.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]At this point, y'all are probably thinking that I should be ashamed of myself and the fact of the matter is that sometimes I am but not so much because if being bisexual has taught me anything, it's taught me that a lot of the bullshit we hear about sex is just that: Bullshit. It's just up to everyone to decide how far they're gonna take things and it seems to me that bisexuals tend to push things right to the limit.

One night, our girlfriend's second oldest son comes in from a date with some girl... and he looks like someone stole his lunch money and I don't think that I've ever seen such a hang-dog look on a guy's face but I knew what that look meant - he was hoping to get laid and didn't. Poor guy - welcome to the world of being a legal adult!

I sat there watching him pacing the living room and because he kept walking in front of the TV and blocking my view, I asked him what was wrong just so I could get him to stop pacing. He stood there deep in thought before he asked me if he could ask me something and I said that he could; I'd been raising this guy since he was like 9 or so and had made it clear that he could come to me and ask anything, talk about anything and just like my own kids could do. He sits down, still thinking, and says, "I think there's something wrong with my dick."

Hmm. Sounds serious but I ask him what he thinks is wrong and the short version was that there had to be something wrong with his dick because girls wouldn't let him fuck them and, yup, I was right about why he came in looking like someone had killed his dog. I spent some time explaining this thing about girls, convinced him that, um, a girl couldn't think your dick was funky or something if she'd never seen it, and that, yeah, this is a problem we all face as men and something we just gotta learn to live with.

He nodded but said, "But, I'm always horny! I need to bust a nut!"

Of course, I reminded him that he had two hands and he said that he jerked off a lot (but I knew where all the toilet paper was disappearing to already) but it wasn't enough and he wanted to know if there was anything else he could do to get his rocks off on a more regular basis. The funny part about that was he didn't know what I knew, like, not only was he fucking my daughter (before she got married to her boyfriend but while she was still his girlfriend, the "cheating" hussy!) but he had been pressuring his younger brother for sex, something that got to the point where I had to step in and have very serious conversation about that. I had explained to him, truthfully, that it wasn't unusual for brothers to do each other but forcing his brother into it was not gonna be tolerated and if I heard that he was still forcing him into something, I was going to seriously kick his ass.

"So, what do you think you need to do about this?" I asked him.

"I dunno; right about now, I'd do anything!" he said. "Can I ask you something?"

I laughed and reminded him that he's been asking me stuff the whole time we were talking so go ahead and ask.

"Is it true that, um, you suck dick?" he asked.

Okay... didn't expect that one and I couldn't imagine how he heard that but, to me, it wasn't important how he heard it - but him asking was. I wasn't going to lie to him so I told him that, yeah, it was very true and at that point, I knew how this conversation was going to go - now it was just a matter of how he was gonna get to the point.

"Wow," he said with dinner plate eyes. "What's that like?"

I told him what it was like for me and all that good stuff while paying very close attention to him including that rather nice bulge that had appeared in his jeans. Wait for it... he's about to say it any second now.

"Um, if I wanted you to suck my dick, would you?" he finally asked.

"Well, do you think that would be right since, um, you know, I am very much involved with your mother?" I asked. Now it was about learning where his head was and I got a kick out of watching the wheels turning in his head.

"Um, you're like a father to me but you're not really my father," he said.

"True enough," I said. "But don't you think that if she should find out about it, ah, that could be very bad?"

"If she found out, yeah," he admitted. "But I need this; I need to do something - I can't take this any more!"

"Do you really understand what you're asking me?" I asked. "Because I don't think you do."[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]Even when I got to the point where I'd taken anal sex off the menu, I found myself passing on a lot of blow jobs; the uncut dicks were "everywhere" and I'd be disappointed and I'm sure I hurt a lot of guys' feelings along the way and that didn't make me feel good about myself. I dug into the "science" of uncircumcised cocks, saw God only knows how many pictures of them and fought my mind to not cringe when I saw and studied them. Logically and intelligently, I understood it, had a handle on the pros and cons of keeping one's foreskin and the controversy that was appearing about removing it that said it wasn't a medical necessity to remove it.

They still gave me the creeps, though. When it became possible to solicit cock on-line, a lot of guys were asking if one was cut or uncut and for me, if they were uncut, major deal breaker... and I felt so utterly stupid about it and given how much I loved to suck dick, often angry that I couldn't get this monkey off my back.

When I was 50, I got to talking to this guy online and we were both very eager to suck some dick; we figured out that we were, indeed, close to each other, we both had the time for it, so I told him to come on over because I was starving to suck some dick. The guy shows up (five minutes late) and we sit and talk for a few seconds before my hunger got the best of me; when he asked, "Well?" I said, "Give it to me!"

I watched him with very hungry eyes as he got out of his clothes and I was so "desperate" to suck his dick that I don't even remember stripping down until I heard him say, "Yeah... that's what I'm talking about!" and looked at him looking at my erection. He stepped out of his underwear... and, fuck... he wasn't cut! Damn it to hell! In my haste to get his dick in my mouth, I neglected to ask if he was cut or not! In the space of the two or three seconds it took me to walk from where I was standing to where he was sitting, a major fucking war was going on in my head: My need to suck this dick versus my stupid aversion versus my personal honor; I gave him my word that I was gonna suck him off and honor demanded that I do just that even though he had foreskin.

I knelt before him and the memory of what that one lady told me - peel him like a banana - popped into my head; I wrapped my hand around him and pulled his foreskin away from his knob... and got to sucking on him, feeling my aversion screaming bloody murder inside my head and then screaming even louder when I released him so that his foreskin went back to where it was supposed to be... and I kept right on sucking. Truthfully, I went batshit crazy on him, attacking his neck, ears, and his nipples; he was a big guy with hints of man-boobs and good-sized nipples and I went to town on them.

Later, he'd tell me that when I started sucking his nipples, he almost came.

I went back to sucking him, taking him deep, even sucking on all that "excess" skin he had until he blew his load for me and The Beast inside me was roaring with pleasure to have all of his dick in my mouth and feeling it pumping away as I drank down his spunk.

As we traded places, I was wondering why I had hated uncut dicks so much... and even today, I don't have an answer to that. He went down on me until I busted and, normally, I guess, that would have been that but I had stood up, pushed him hard enough to make him sit down, and went back to sucking his uncut dick. Oh, he protested a little but his foreskin spared him that very irritating sensation I'm sure you guys know about after you've busted. I did my best to suck the black right off of his dick until he gave up another load.

I'd gotten over my aversion... but I still think an uncut dick is damned ugly to look at.[/FONT][/SIZE]