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One of the things that can help someone trying to get a grip on their bisexual thoughts and feelings is that everyone has a first time. Another thing is that no matter how you learned about having same-sex sex, you're not as alone as you might feel although, admittedly, I've never understood why you can feel this way other than... you know you're not straight and like everyone else is and are supposed to be.

Being introduced to sex with men has never been pretty; while it's easier on sensibilities to romanticize it, it's not always a matter of someone taking you in hand and "making sweet love to you" and in a way that isn't going to be a big problem and it's yet another thing that has to be understood and, really, one of the first things you learn about men and our hard-wired need and drive to have sex and, often, by any means necessary, fair or foul.

One of the things I had realized was that as a boy, I was... expected to experiment with sex and with both boys and girls. At the same time, I was told not to even think about having sex and, well, maybe my parents and other elder should have told me to go ahead and do it which is pretty much what a lot of the guys and gals I grew up with did. If you got introduced and/or experimented at a young age, know that you're not the only one; if you are of a mind that your introduction was... a bit on the foul side of things and you felt victimized and/or abused, know that it's not your fault and chances are you didn't do anything to make it happen - but it did and now the important thing is to not get yourself stuck feeling shitty over something that happened in the past because if you get stuck there, you will find that making sense of finding yourself hooked on dick is going to be difficult and, again, you weren't alone in this.

If you believe that sex with men is evil and unholy, well, the bible says it is... but the realities of life do tell a totally different story and this is the part of things that's to be believed; I thought that homosexuality in men couldn't be all that bad because there's a lot of male homosexuals... and all of them cannot be wrong but our morality says it is and right away, one of the many flaws in it gets exposed.

And if our morality is saying not to have sex with men, it's clearly obvious that it can be done, huh?

I've spent so much of my life learning how guys get introduced to this from "innocently" to, well, being exposed to the ugliness of things. There's a pattern to it but one that's hard to see given the great scope of things and this includes not being introduced to it - but decided that having sex with a guy might not be all that bad of a thing and also dependent upon how old you were when getting some dick... made good sense to you.

Since the comments for blogs is still broken, just drop me a note here if you have comments and I'll be happy to address them... unless someone wants to give me some shit about stuff that has already happened and cannot ever be undone.

Then I had my whole life in front of me; now, not so much but I always reflect on these things and ask myself if I have any regrets or misgivings... and I don't because it never makes sense to feel regret or guilt over something you wanted to do.

If I knew then what I know now, would things be different? Would I be different? And would I want to be anything other than what I had become almost six decades ago? I learned that it is possible to fall in love with another guy and it was magnificent but like everything else I'd done, I learned something about myself - and some of it I didn't like all that much, so some changes had to be put into place immediately if not sooner. I didn't want to be a... sexual/sexuality hypocrite. If you know and learn the truth, you accept and embrace it and the truth I've lived with all this time is that I don't have much in the way of problems having sex with men or women. Give me a reason not to have sex with you and the understanding that there are those who will do just that.

Bummer. Could've been fun - and we both lose. I don't need the LGBTQ+ to "validate" my sexuality as being 100% real, normal, and natural so, nope - I won't be attending any PRIDE events and they might kick me out because I'm likely to tell them some truths that they don't want to hear. I validated myself in these things before LGBTQ+ was merely LGB. I don't buy into the drama; I don't believe the hype; I have no fear over being outed and I'm smart enough not to be sorely afraid of the things so many of my fellow bisexuals are afraid of.

I'm an old school OG bisexual. That's about it in a nutshell. Happy birthday to me...

I'm a year and two days away from celebrating 60 years as a male bisexual. In the beginning, it was all so new and wonderful... and that was before I could ejaculate. In the now and wondering - and not for the first time - if things would have been different if the whole sex thing was explained to me... and if I would have been different. Remembering how totally pissed off I was with my parents because they didn't tell me the whole truth - just constantly telling me to keep it in my pants and just say no to sex until I got old enough... and old enough for what? To understand what sex was all about? Being aware of certain responsibilities and consequences, oh, like making a baby with a girl?

I had to find out on my own; on the job training and trial and error. What's good about it and what isn't but understanding that what I think isn't good about it is something that someone else thinks is good. Back then, the only things I really worried about was getting caught in the act; catching VD (as we used to call STDs back then) was a real problem and one that too many guys and gals I knew found out how bad those could be... and I was dodging bullets left and right, probably not so much because I got lucky but I was smarter than the majority of my peers and... I knew stuff.

I didn't care what people had to say about my bisexuality because I understood that nothing they were going to say was going change anything about me and especially after my mom caught me screwing my brother... and she didn't beat or kill me. I figured that if the one person I respected more than anyone else didn't stomp my ass into the ground, what someone else had to say... was what they had to say. In this, I "grumbled" that if she had shown up five minutes early, she would have caught him dick deep in me... but realized that I still would have been blamed for it because I was the oldest and I was supposed to know better - and I did... but I knew some stuff about sex, too. And went right back to what we were doing anyway, not because of any disrespect to my mother but... it's just sex; he still wanted me to finish and I needed to and it was still no harm, no foul as far as we both were concerned.

Unlike sex with my sister; mom catches me with her and... I don't survive it. Just a fact. What we both knew, though, was that as long as I didn't get her pregnant, this was just a boy and girl having sex... and just like other boys and girls. Kudos to her because she taught me about eating pussy... and I will never know why my father told me not to. More kudos to her because after I figured out how to lick and suck her pussy and clit - the little man in the boat - she said, "We might as well fuck..." and I wasn't about to say, "No, no, we can't!"

They say that if you can stay calm while everyone else is losing their minds, then you don't understand the problem and all around me, people were losing their minds over being homosexual and, well, I guess I really didn't understand the problem - but then again, I knew... stuff. The craziness that can happen when you ask one question, get an answer... and the answer brings forth another question.

My paternal grandfather once said, "If you really don't want to know, don't ask." My problem was that I really wanted to know. As I learned about those around me, I learned about myself, too. I knew I was different, but I was learning how different I was from everyone else - and that included those who were bisexual like I was. I knew things about sex that most of my peers had no idea about both moral and immoral and, importantly, what lengths humans will go in order to have sex and... knowing this explained a lot of things to me... and a whole lot about guys and the things they'll do and say so they can get their rocks off and, yes, "campaigning" for someone to come get their rocks off in them. Homosexuals made sense to me but the effeminate ones continued to baffle me because, okay, you don't want anything sexual to do with females... but you're acting like one.

I'd come to understand this, too, because it's not totally about the sex - it's about what you learn about yourself that is the driving force behind the sex that you have... and the sex you refuse to have. I not only learned what I liked and what I didn't like; I learned what I would do under the right situations and conditions or, yeah, how easily I could change my mind about the things I didn't like or didn't want to do at the moment and if at all.

While those around me were being... weird about sex, there was nothing for me to be weird about because if it was taboo, I'd already done it... and more than once or twice. Sex with my siblings? Wasn't my idea but... okay - and knowing that if we got caught, the blame would fall on me... and, yeah, it was worth the risks, not so much in what was done but what I was still learning about having sex and why we do the things we do... and what we're willing to do.

Hands down, it was so much easier then. Run an errand for an adult male and get paid for doing it... and, yes, sometimes, the cash payment included sucking their dick and/or feeling them trying to get as much of it in my ass as they could without damaging me... and just another day, just another opportunity to learn more about that which I wasn't supposed to know about and in any context.

And not feeling bad, ashamed, or guilty about any of it. Now I look at those days and, again, I shake my head, sometimes laugh or frown and sometimes feeling embarrassed at how promiscuous I was... and how easy it was for a guy to get me naked and have sex with me or to get their dick sucked - and being able to do the same to and with them and putting my curiosity and intelligence to work trying to figure out how something that feels so good is something that everyone says is so very bad.

The teenaged years heralding a major change in things that took some adjustments in the way I looked at all of this... and adjusting to how others were now looking at it. The days of easy-going fairness just... went away. Not all at once; there were still plenty of guys who were very and eagerly versatile and doing it all just made sense... and then the many guys who just didn't see it that way. Learning many of the things that girls didn't like about us guys and really being educated in the way things can be - but knowing that I'd do whatever I had to do to get some dick and even if it wasn't "fair" or not all that to my liking once it was all said and done. Having that secret that came in handy when... pussy dried up. Even the girls known to be stupidly easy weren't giving it up anymore and the beginning of understanding that if you want pussy from a female, you're going to have to pay for it in some way or the other.

And while so many of my male friends were suffering through The Drought, my sexuality continued to allow me to get laid - and being charming enough to talk my way into a girl's panties also helped. What that meant for me was that the "business" of getting some dick... was very brisk for me. So many guys unable to get pussy willing to give up their dick to be sucked or to slide it in me and, sometimes, I got to do to them what they needed to do to me... because there wasn't any other option other than beating their meat and, yeah, some guys were willing to do anything if I'd get them off.

Now I sit and think about what I learned and much of it was disturbing, not just the shit experienced with other guys but the flaws and errors in our societal norms and morality and, wait a minute: You mean to tell me that homosexuality is a sin because if two guys have sex, no babies will be conceived? It can't be that simple and explanation... can it? And learning that it is that simple and religion isn't just something to believe it: It's the way those in religious power can control us; do as we say... or die and go to hell and we'll kill you because God said so.

Just a couple of days away from my 68th birthday and I find myself thinking about then and now.

How easy it was to not be an adult and indulging in all kinds of sex with males and females and with few cares in the world - and laughing for a moment to wonder how I managed to survive this part of my life relatively unscathed while remembering the guys I grew up with who weren't so lucky; for them, if it could go wrong, it would go wrong.

Then thinking about being an adult and the joy of being bisexual is very much alive and well within me but like so many others, having to deal with the vagaries involved trying to convince a guy that if we were to get together and suck each other off a couple of times, that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. I tell myself that there's no point in pining for the good old days because they were what they were and have long since passed.

But I can't help it and especially when I take this moment in time to look at where I came from, so I can understand where I am now... and where I might be in the unforeseen future, not that I have a lot of time left to shuffle around this mortal coil and that's incentive to get it all in while I still can. Thinking that my mom was right: This getting old shit is for the birds.

I miss the days when I could be with a friend, we're doing something or trying to figure out what there is to do and... let's go to a hideout and have sex! Best idea ever other than, during the summer, making sure you had money for when the Mr. Softee truck rolled through. The near-shameless... innocence involved in something that's not all that innocent, not when you know what the adults don't want you to know: Having sex with a boy is good and fun, from sucking on each other's dicks to get that warm mouthful of spunk to feeling his erection in your ass and you're just basking in how nasty-good it feels and knowing that you're going to feel that warmth being blasted into your hole... and then it's my turn to do the same to him.

And he's not gonna complain about it. Not going to get all into what he prefers; doesn't much care about how big or small someone's prick is as long as it can be sucked and slid into greasy holes and... that's all that really mattered. Oh, yeah - don't tell anyone! And knowing that if another friend comes along and asks what I've been doing, well, I did it with so-and-so... and do you want to do it? You do? Let's go!

Several times a day, almost every damned day. Getting out of school for the summer was the time to have sex and like we had to cram it all in before September came and back to school and that - as well as it getting colder - putting a crimp in things because when you find out how good getting some dick is, you always want to get it and can get unhappy when stuff like going to school or it's freezing outside gets in the way of things.

Every twice in a while even a good slut needs to take a break and get away from the hustle and bustle of every life.. for me that usually is either fly fishing or hunting coyotes.. with all the really hot weather I went fly fishing.. now there are some really good rivers around here but I had been invited to try a new river out in central Idaho.. it is a tributary of the snake River., private area so not over crowded.. I got there Thursday evening around 5-6pm.. got settled in and got myself some dinner and some drinks.. sitting outside on the porch was relaxing, watching the sun go down behind the mountains.. next morning I got up early ate and headed out for some alone time and fishing., I had talked to the land owner and gotten some ideas of some personal favorite spots of his., the morning went off without a hitch, I was catching some really nice Brookies and browns.. stopped under some big trees in the shade for lunch.. it was pretty warm so I stripped out of my long pants and tshirt.. pulled on my barley there Daisy Duck style cutoff shorts.. and headed out to find a hole that the owner told me about.. as I worked my way up stream I found the rock he told me about.. he said that I should walk around the big rock and on the other side was a big hole that always had big cuts in it.. so as directed I made my way around it.. as I reached a spot where I could see around it, I noticed that there was already a guy standing about waist deep in the water on the far side of the river.. as I rounded the bend and came out in the open he noticed me.. he smiled and nodded and said come on in the fish are biting.. I dumped my fishing pack on shore and waded in.. he smiled and said you don?t look like much of a fisherman.. I looked at him and ask why?? He said those shorty shorts.. I just smiled and said that it was a hot day and kinda a hike to get there.. he ask how I found that spot?? I told him I was told about it.. he then crossed over to my side of the river.. as he came closer I noticed that he was shirtless as well.. then as he got closer I noticed that he was wearing only a very very small park of banana hammock style under pants that were assess!! I ask if he was a fisherman dressed the way he was dressed?? He just laughted .. he then said you are a panty boy?? I looked at him and smiled.. he said do you wear them often?? I told him if I wear any they would be panties.. most of the time I don?t wear anything.. he ask if I liked cock other men?s cocks?? Again I just smiled.. he then moved to shallower water to reveal a large buldge in his underwear.. he grabbed his cock and said you should come and see this one.. I smiled again and turned my back and bent over to show him my ass and bright fluorescent orange string panties.. when I turned back around he had his cock out showing it to me.. he ask are you bottom or just a cock sucker?? Again I smiled and just nodded.. he said you do both.. I smile.. he said do you swallow?? I shook my head.. I told him that I suck to get it hard but then want it other places.. he smiled and said I don?t have protection.. I said you don?t need it.. he ask where do I put my cum?? I told him in me!! I could tell that he was not really long about 7? but he was extremely thick!!! I told him I would suck hi if he fingered me while I did to loosen e up.. he smiled and said gladly.. he then ask if he could eat out my pussy before he fucks me?? Of course I said!! So I sucked on his cock there in the river.. he pushed my shorts and panties off my saw and gently forced one then two then three fingers into my pussy.. he stretched and prodded my pussy until he was rock hard.. he pulled his cock out of my throat and spun me around and started eating me out very deeply.. I bounced and pushed back on his tongue.. when I couldn?t take it anymore I told him I wanted his cock.. he spun me around again and started kissing me and playing with my breasts and nipples!! Soon I was so turned on I couldn?t take it anymore and took his cock in hand and guided it to my pussy.. I started bouncing and pushing agents him., he held me so I couldn?t get him in me.. slowly, patiently, deliberately he entered me until he was balls deep in me.. he is very very thick.. I felt so very full impale on his cock.. then he started fucking me slowly at first deliberately!! Then faster harder, deeper.. more powerful!! He was very aggressively fucking me!! Moaning and sucking air I responded to his thrusts.. he pulled me up to a standing position and hammered away as he played with my breasts,, he choked me some.. I was very very turned on.. my mind was blank with sexual bliss!! He explored my whole body.. he sucked fuck marks on my neck as he fucked me.. after a good while he stiffened up and his cock grew inside me.. he pushed into me very hard and I into him., then it happened, he exploded inside me.. filled my pussy with his cum., I squirmed on his cock as he cum inside me.. then when he had filled me full he started pushing me toward the bank.. it is kinda hard to walk with a big fat cock in your pussy.. anyway when we got to shore he put me on the ground on my back and climbed on top of me and said now you deserve a real fucking.. he pounded my pussy for a very long time.. my eyes rolled back and I couldn?t hardly breath with him pounding me.. then he drove in as deep as he could and filled me again.. I quivered and shook as wave after wave of pleasure washed over me.. he kept on fucking me till I exploded all over our bellies!! He collapsed on top of me still in me.. we must have dozed off there for a few minutes.. I awoke to him pumping away at me again.. I don?t think he ever got out of me.. anyway we both cum one more time before his cock shrank and fell out of me.. we went to the river and cleaned up and got dressed.. then we went to his truck and he drove me to mine.. I spent the weekend with him getting fucked over and over.. it was amazing.. they say a change is as good as a rest,, sometimes I think better!!!