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I watched a film recently called Boy Erased which confronts the practise of conversion therapy. For those that haven't heard this term before, it's the practise of converting a person's sexuality from bi/homosexual to heterosexual using religion as a means to "re-educate" the individual. I thought this "therapy" had died out many years ago but it seems it's still alive and well, practised in 38 states in America if I remember rightly. Parents send their children to these "clinics" where men with no formal training, qualifications or real experience "treat" them. It was quite shocking on a number of levels, the fanaticism level of those preaching their religious rhetoric and the fact that parents would trust the physical and mental well-being of their children with these nut cases.

The movie made a number of claims that bisexuality and homosexuality are choices. It uses the metaphor that no one is born a footballer, they learn to be a footballer so therefore no one is born bisexual or homosexual, it's their upbringing and family life that cause it. You may not be born a footballer, but you may be born genetically "gifted" to be predisposed to be good at sport and therefore become a footballer so whilst you weren't born to be a sports person your genetics may lead you there. The choice for them is whether or not they want to play football regardless if they're good at it or not. I feel for me, this is the same when it comes to my sexuality. I believe my genetics predisposed me to same sex attraction and the only choice I had was to whether or not to accept it and act upon it. For many years I would not accept it, I pushed it to the back of my mind but genetics are a hard thing to fight. I didn't learn to have same sex tendencies nor did anyone make me have them. I just had them and I had them from as early as I can remember.

In NZ, conversion therapy costs $200+ per hour according to the article I found and is still legal. The government had looked at banning it but thought this would be a ban on religious freedom and it seems protecting the rights of the individual never came in to the decision making process. Children are often sent to these "camps" against their will. I find this appalling for a country that is supposed to be a world leader in LGTBQ rights. I personally believe it should be banned! It's claiming there is something wrong with being bisexual or homosexual but there is nothing wrong with being either. It's nature.

Had my parents sent me to one of these camps when I was growing up had they ever had an inclining of my true sexuality it would not have worked one iota. Preaching the bible to me would have the opposite effect, you'd be better of hitting me with it. It seems for this to work, the individual must have a strong religious upbringing so that can then be used against them. I did not have this and besides, my parents, whilst I'd believe they'd be disappointed to have a bisexual son, would never had entertained such a barbaric idea. As an adult, there's simply no chance I'd ever consider it. I'm not broken! I'm bisexual!

Unfortunately for the teenage boy in the movie, his parents weren't as liberal as mine and sent them to one such camp when he finally had the courage to tell them he was gay, I wish I had that courage. Did it work? No. He left. He saw it for what it really was, a sham and an expensive one at that. The toll it takes on the boys in the movie is obvious, with one committing suicide after he was beaten by his parents with a bible after falling for temptation. This camp did not allow pornography, physical touching or masturbation but it's not made clear which temptation he fell for. I'm particularly screwed on that last one, they'd definitely get me on it. The movie had quite an ironic ending with the leader of the camp leaving and moving to another state to live with his husband. Yes, it was a true story and for the teenage boy, he confronted his father a few years later with an ultimatum, except him for who he is, a gay man or not be a part of his life. His father chose to try and accept his child instead of never seeing him again.

How would have you felt had your parents sent you to conversion therapy? Would've it worked? Should it be banned?

I once asked a question on the forums that if you were able to take a pill to become straight, would you? I said I wouldn't. I still wouldn't. It's taken me a long time to see that I'm not broken. I'm just different.... but really am I that different? How many have buried such feelings and desires like I had over the years? As humans we form close relationships all the time with the same sex, how many would have the potential of turning in to something else if there wasn't anything metaphysical or societal to stop us? I guess we'll never know. I often feel that the only difference between many men and I is that I have accepted and embraced my same sex attraction and that this attraction may be quite a bit stronger. Some people believe that everyone is innately bisexual, I'm starting to subscribe to that notion, controversial as it is, but that's a blog for another time.

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I couldn't tell you how long I fucked him; time didn't mean shit... but my cock buried in his ass as deep as I could get it did. At one point, I had raised up and looked between us to see my cock in his ass - and in time to see his hard cock shudder - then a flow of sperm oozed from him. There was something... sensual watching his dick pumping away and I could feel his anal muscles contracting around me with each spurt...

And I lost it; the feeling snuck up on me without any warning. I went from watching him cum to being bitch-slapped by cumming myself and then being hit by the sensations so hard I think I stopped breathing for a moment (or I don't remember breathing). I pulled out and flopped down next to him spent and more than sated; I looked over at him and he looked... happy? Satisfied? As I looked at him lying there, I saw his dick was still kinda erect even though he had spilled... so it made sense to me to go down on him again. He didn't even try to resist and it didn't take long for him to get fully hard - then fill my mouth with cum in a few short minutes.

It was like he had nutted with me inside him... but that didn't really "finish him off," if you know what I mean - but now he was finished. I got up and went to the bathroom and when I got back, Jesse was still lying there and I asked him, "Am I gonna have to put up with you hitting on me after this?"

"No, you won't," he said - was he crying again? "We're good."

And we were. The next day, it was like I didn't exist to Jesse, not in that dismissive way, mind you. He was still personable and all that but the flirting and other stuff? Just gone and he didn't even hint or suggest that we get together again. And that was fine by me. One of the guys that Jesse had pressured into giving up the dick said to me, "Wow, you must've done a number on him! He's like a different person!"

Before I left the assignment, I had a few words for Jesse and along the lines of, okay, he's magnificent in bed... but he should cool it with the heavy flirting and propositions because if being with me made him feel some kind of way, there were other guys who'd make it their purpose in life not to make having sex with them a good thing. "Just be careful what you wish for, Jesse..."

I didn't feel bad about having sex with him; I just felt bad about him being able to get to me like he did... but I got over it.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]You know that watery feeling you get in your gut when you know you're about to do something that, perhaps, you shouldn't be doing? I had it big time and even worse as I pulled into the parking lot of Jesse's apartment complex and parked next to his car. It got even worse because he literally exploded out of his car, taking me by the hand and pretty much dragging me with him to his place. Once inside, he closed and locked the door - and I suddenly felt like a trapped animal! I was standing there planning escape routes when Jesse asked, "Well? Do you like what you see?"

Huh? I refocused my eyesight to see that he was buck naked and standing where I'd last saw him and the bad part? I did like what I saw. Slender, practically hairless (found out later that he routined removed all of his body hair) and his cock was nice to look at; not big and fat but not thin and skinny - pretty average, I thought. I just nodded and he smiled and said, "Okay - time for me to get to work!"

He had me undressed before it really registered in my brain; to me, it was like I didn't notice that I was now naked until he said, "Your cock is beautiful and I'm gonna make love to it!" At this point, I knew I could have called it off and that I had the muscle to back it up if needed... but this wasn't so much about sex as it was about honor: If I say yes, then barring an emergency, I'm gonna keep my word because at the end of any day, it's the only thing that means anything.

Jesse knelt before me, cupped my balls and said, "I've been looking forward to this..." and covered me with his mouth; my brain was so strangely out of it that I hadn't even noticed that I was already very hard. I'll say this for the man: He wasn't just as good as his word - he was better than that. I'd had both men and women suck my dick... but not like Jesse did; he had me on the verge of exploding fairly quickly as he lavished a great deal of attention on my cock and balls. I tried to hold it back but his mouth was so talented and insistent and if it wasn't for the fact that he was palming my ass with both hands, when I came, I would have fallen to the floor like my legs had gotten chopped off. He pulled me even deeper into his mouth and I could feel him swallowing my sperm and, jeez, it felt amazing...

And I knew I was in trouble.

Jesse released me, licked his lips and said, "Yes... that's what I needed! And I need more!"

We made it to his bedroom and he didn't give me much of a chance to recover; once on the bed, he went right back down on me and something in my head said, "Fuck it - just go with it!" My own lust was awake and raising hell and I instinctively went to blow him - and he stopped me, saying, "Oh, no - I don't like that and it's my job to please you!"

And I wasn't hearing any of that. I wanted that dick in my mouth and made it clear to Jesse that I was going to have it whether he liked it or not. He didn't like it... and I didn't care as we wound up in a 69 with me on top and fucking my dick into his mouth while I sucked on his. Oh, he tried to get away and I stopped sucking him long enough to tell him, "No one is going to save you from me; remember... you wanted this..."

When Jesse came in my mouth, oh, my - he was very unhappy and I just knew he wasn't... and I still didn't give a fuck about that. I even said to him, "You should be careful what you wish for - ya just might get it. Now, you need to tell me where the lube is... because I'm going to fuck you."

He pointed to where it sat on his dresser and as I got up to get it, I looked at him... and he looked like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights as I applied lube to myself, then to him; since he was already on his back, I just lifted his legs, then slid my hands under his ass to lift him a little - then slid my dick right into his ass. He wasn't tight - but I didn't expect him to be but, holy shit - his ass felt really good around my dick (and just as he said it would).

And I fucked him. Hard and fast. Nice and slow. He writhed beneath me as if he was either enjoying himself or he was trying to get away from me. Wasn't sure which thing it was... still didn't care one way or the other as I drove deep into him and flooded his ass with sperm... and it felt glorious. No - not as good as pussy but, yeah, close enough for government work. I didn't pull out; I just propped myself on my elbows and looked down at him and asked, "Are you disappointed? Feeling better now that you've gotten what you said you wanted from the moment you first saw me?"

"I think I'm in love," he said - was he crying? Hmm.

I started to pull out but he said, "No - stay where you are; I want to feel you get hard inside me!"

Honestly? I didn't think that was gonna happen but Jesse's mouth wasn't the only talented thing on him as he used his anal muscles to not only keep me inside him but to urge me into yet another erection and, yeah, I was impressed. Once I was hard enough to fuck him, well, I fucked him... slowly and while I thought that busting another nut wasn't going to happen, it didn't seem to matter if I could or not.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]In reality, Jesse was a nice guy but also very no-nonsense about things and shamelessly blunt about his love of men and cock. One of the other guys in the office actually said to me, "You know, you'd be better off just giving him what he wants."

"You say that like that's what you did," I said - and the look on his face told me I was spot-on. "Wait... are you telling me that he's been with all the guys who work here?"

"Pretty much," the guy said, his face getting redder by the moment. "It's the only way to get him to leave you alone and believe me, we've tried every other way to make him go away!"

It made sense... but I wasn't going to be pressured into giving Jesse what he wanted... but he was getting on my nerves and really trying my patience. It got so bad that whenever I went to the men's room, I had to make sure I knew where Jesse was and that he didn't see me heading that way. I've never been... uncomfortable in the men's room and I'd long since gotten used to guys sneaking peeks while at the urinal or doing that weird thing of talking to the wall to keep from making eye contact with you while you both pissed.

Jesse had me rethinking things; while I was used to many ways guys tend to behave, it's annoying to stand there draining the lizard... and there's a very gay man standing next to you not only watching you pee but telling you how he's gonna suck your dick and make you cum. I had to admit that he was starting to get to me; I could have left the assignment but that wasn't an option and complaining to management wasn't going to do much according to what the other guys had told me.

Weeks turned into months and Jesse just would not stop pursuing me... and, after talking to my wife about it (and not for the first time), even she said, "Just give him what he wants and he'll leave you alone!"

So the very next day, I sat and waiting for Jesse to show up and continue his nearly non-stop propositioning. For a moment, I thought that because I was going to say yes, he wasn't going to make an appearance - and one so consistent that I could set my watch by him. But he was right on time, giving me his winning - but wicked - smile and before he could get started I cut him off by asking, "When and where?"

Shit... he had won the battle and that didn't make me feel good. But I couldn't quit this job and I couldn't kick his ass so it really did make sense - and was the better choice - to just give up the dick to him. I asked my question and he immediately said, "Tonight, after work, my place!" and gave me his address. He blew me a kiss and practically skipped back to his desk, leaving me to think that I was going to regret this. I called my wife and told her I'd be late coming home and all she said was, "Okay - Jesse."[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Growing up having sex with guys taught me some valuable lessons, like not letting guys pressure me into doing anything I didn't want to do. But there's always that one guy who just won't take no for an answer and there are two kinds of that guy: The one who is aggressive and ultra-pushy... then there's the one who just keeps bugging you until you either cave in... or punch him in the face.

I was working for a temp agency and had gotten a much needed long-term assignment and once I showed up for it, the people I would be working with made it a point to tell me about the gay man who worked there... and I couldn't understand why they felt the need to warn me but I took it in stride and truthfully said that I don't have any issues with gay men.

"You're gonna have some issues with this one," one woman said to me. "You're cute... and he's gonna be all over you like a bad habit!"

She - and the others - were, of course, right; I hadn't been at my new desk for a good hour before Jesse sashayed over to introduce himself... and start hitting on me. Still, I continued to take it in stride because Jesse wasn't an asshole - he was just very openly gay and demonstrative about it but after about a week, shit! He was getting on my nerves flirting with me, telling me how good he'd suck my cock and that fucking him was better than fucking women. It seemed like every time I turned around, Jesse was there, licking his lips, giving the universal blow job sign and sometimes assuming the position against a wall or desk or whatever he could use to let me know that he wanted my cock in his ass.

I actually made a mistake in telling him that I wasn't straight like he thought I was; once I told him I was bi, he stepped up his efforts to get me into his bed. Now, it wasn't that he was a bad-looking guy or anything like that; he was just... annoying even though I got brave and had a long talk with him about his proposals and there was a time and place for them... and at work wasn't one of them.

I'd have been better off talking to the coffee machine. "You're just playing hard to get," he said one day. "I want you and I'm gonna have you..." and continued to tell me in great detail what his plans for me were. I really couldn't believe how things went from being flattering to me sitting and thinking of shit to do about him, oh, like how to hide the body and, absent that, just finding a way to make him regret ever meeting me.[/SIZE][/FONT]

The Map does not appear to allow me to search by location

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I held still as he bucked and fucked into my mouth; sweat was stinging my eyes something fierce and my own dick was painfully hard and for a brief moment, I thought about jumping up, throwing his legs over my shoulders, and ramming my dick into his ass... but I didn't. I just held him in my mouth until he got soft, listening to him whimpering and saying over and over, "So good... so good..."

I reluctantly let go of him and fought a brief wave of dizziness as I sat up just enough to look at him. Sweat had plastered his dirty blond hair to his head and his face was a very interest shade of red. I looked down with some sadness to see his "perfect" dick lying limply in the crease of his leg and I wanted him back in my mouth so bad it wasn't funny. I looked up at him and saw how wide his eyes were and like he was surprised at what I'd just done to him... and maybe he was... but my dick was aching badly and I needed to take care of that.

I could feel my arms and legs trembling as I moved toward his head, taking a hand and slipping it under his head to lift it up and guided my dick to his mouth. For a moment, there was a look of panic on his face but he opening his mouth to allow me to slide right into it. I started to slowly fuck his mouth, not trying to make him suck all of it but to feel his tongue against my knob and shaft. I felt his hands on my ass, his fingers digging int my cheeks as he pushed more of me into his mouth and I groaned to feel his tongue flying around my dick.

I looked at him... and lost it and, damn, I could see my dick pulsing between his lips, saw his cheeks puff out a little as my sperm shot into his mouth, felt him "struggle" to swallow it, not that he was trying to get away from it. I let myself just collapse onto the bed next to him and he even kinda rolled over and laid his head on my chest and, jeez, we were both hot and sweaty messes.

"Jesus, man," he said after a long moment of us just lying together. "I didn't know it could be like that! Did I do okay?"

"You were perfect," I managed to say; my mouth and throat was so dry and I would have killed for a long drink of water. "You were just very damned perfect."

He laughed a little before saying, "For a moment, I thought you were going to fuck me..."

"I thought about it," I said, absently stroking his wet and sweaty head.

"You should have," he said, running his fingers up and down my body and making me shiver like it was freezing in that hot and stifling room. "We have time before my family comes home..."

Honestly? I didn't think I could get it up again; I was drained and sated from both sucking him and being sucked and even as he went back down on my - after we both got some water to quench our thirst - I was just happy for us being in a 69 and having his "perfect" dick in my mouth again. I got hard enough to get it in him - with the help of a lot of lotion he had in his room - and if I thought sucking his dick was perfect, so was being inside him. He didn't say a thing as I stuffed myself in his very tight hole except, "Yeah... that's it..." or something like that; I was very busy trying not to cum immediately and I think he knew that because he clearly said, "Go ahead - it's okay..."

I lost it again and even though I was sure I wasn't shooting much sperm into him, that didn't mean what I was feeling wasn't very terribly intense. Later, we were back to studying for the upcoming test... and like we'd been doing it all along. Jimmy did say, "You know we're gonna have to do this again - and soon - right?"

"Yes," was I all could say, thinking about his "perfect" cock being in my mouth again and maybe deep in my ass the next time, too.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I was sweating like a fiend and I could feel my renewed erection trapped between my body and Jimmy's bed, begging for some attention... but it didn't matter whether it got some at that moment because his dick felt so damned good in my mouth and as I continued to suck that "perfect" cock, I was wondering when the last time I had so much fun - and joy - giving head to a guy.

Jimmy was... long past losing it. I had one hand on his belly and I could feel a layer of sweat between my hand and his body as his belly heaved with every strained breath he took. He was getting close; I could feel the tremors racing along his shaft and I want to both prolong this... and shove him over the edge. For a really brief moment, I thought about which thing I wanted to do - then said, "Fuck it..." to myself and picked up the pace. I wanted - needed - to feel him cumming in my mouth, to feel the pulsations as his spunk flowed from him - and then once more taste the salty sweetness of his seed.

The room was filled with heavy, labored breathing - his and my own. He's trying to get away from me, squirming on the bed and I just pressed down on his belly to keep him in place and took him deep one last time. His cock swelled in my mouth even as his whole body went as stiff as a board. He cursed and I looked up at him in time to see the look on his face as his cum shot into my mouth and pretty much directly down my throat... and there was a lot of it and my only regret - if you could call it that - was that I had him deep down to his pubic bone so all that delicious sperm never got caught on my tongue.[/SIZE][/FONT]