I've been broken up with my ex since last Xmas, sadly she doesn't want to come to the realization I am not coming back to her and she calls all the time and expects me to help or fix things, visit or do things together, I didn't decide to leave the relationship because we were getting along so it's been a long year of retreating and letting her figure it out herself. Long story short, I feel as if I should be moving on with my life and dating, and specifically hooking up with men, something that proved to be hard to resist when you are in a relationship for 8 yrs. Not one week went by that I didn't fantasize about finding a new male lover during the whole 8 yrs, every time I was alone I would ride my dildos at home alone, and funny enough I had to keep throwing most of them away, being paranoid she would come over and find them, she was and is a bit of a snoop with lucky tendencies as far as opening drawer or box she shouldn't and finding a object she shouldn't even see ever. So here I am almost a year later from dating and I had no toys around to play with for about a yr, I was on my way home in Oct on a Sun and saw a xxx store was still open at 11pm, I turned the car around and headed inside, I took a quick walk around the store and saw a lot of stuff I already had before, regular sized vibes and dildos, P Spot vibes etc, nothing that made me say "ahh" And that's when I saw a big monster on the wall, a rarity in vibes, 10" and 7.25 around, usually vibes stop at 9 "with 7 " insertible and almost never thick like this one was, the package was about 15" itself, it was really big for me as I hadn't had much fun with the lurking g/f around all the time and calling me every hour or 2 for most of the 8 yrs we dated, she was always checking in and god forbid you didn't answer her.. So thinking I'm fucking single and don't have to hide shit, went for it, made my way home all excited and put the batteries in and grabbed the lube and yep, tight as a drum, took a while and lots of relaxing to get the head in and whoomp, the old memory kicked in and it slid past and in about 7" the first night, got all the way to the balls 8.5" the next day or 2 and was starting to slowly get looser to enjoy riding it for 30 or 40 mins a few times. Flash forward a month and using that thing sometimes 3 times a day, waking up horny, I'd rub my nipples slowly and feel my body tingling as I lay there, I'd reach for my morning wake up ride and clean up after my hands free explosions, then lunchtime I'd be thinking about him and get a tingle in my ass wanting more, then another afternoon delight before dinner and take a few days off.I got used to it quickly but had intentions of getting another unless it was smaller and I wasn't in any rush with my big boy and free mind pushing me to enjoy the big guy fear and guilt free, then the balls started to show a tear in the front from me grabbing and twisting them to insert it inside myself, it is never just a pop in and ride vibe, its big and thick remember? So I started looking around a few weeks ago for a new vibe as I heated up a knife and sealed it but it would tear eventually so why wait for it, buy another and don't stress if it goes, so online later, I found the big brother to my newest one, a Curve Novelties vibe that's 11" x 8.5", 9.5 of it insertible, it looks big, almost too big but F it, I'm down for it now, it should be here this week, in the meantime they had a sale and free delivery and 30% off on the site so I took a look around and decided to make a small collection for myself now that I'm single and don't need to hide my love for all things penis any more. First I bought a Ron Jeremy 8.5" x 6" dildo, then a Doc Johnson 12" x 6"" cyberskyn model, 3rd was a 7" x 6" fuctioning foreskin by King Cock dildo that is new to the market and looks real-ish, really real tbh. Then the icing on the cake and like sucking your first man you never forget that first look, a monster 16.5" x 9.75" King Cock dual density dildo that is 13.5" of insertible, I actually bought that one for the visual and to display proudly as a cock lover on my nightstand, I'm not sure I want to ruin my backside on it but who knows, I might keep on with the whole size and stretch fetish I recently opened up and am now turned on by after being so careful for all these yrs and keeping it normalish to an extent, it just feels so good to go deep and get filled in every millimetre of your hole, it's something that once you do, you'll never forget that feeling inside and how quick you orgasm as it slides in for the first time. So Im sitting around and thinking, am I crazy buying all this stuff? I get bored of lying on my back or side and backing onto a pillow covered in a towel or lying on my side and pumping it or pushing it deeper, now I'm going to invest $500 to do the same thing with all these nw ones, boring, I wanted more freedom to ride a different way without a man around, to get ready to drop down on a big cock when it came along some day soonish hopefully, lovers do missionary, not fuck buddies, so I googled dildo stands lol, they have a few but it's limited to 3 styles, a chair with some flexible banding that you bounce up and down on, boring, or a blow up pillow fron China that everyone said was garbage and would deflate as you rode it lol., thetre was a cool, expensive half barrel deal that looks like a leathersaddle of sorts with a horn, only sit up style, no angles at $1300US, nah, I don't think so. So the one I originally saw, a BonBon half barrel firm memory pillow type riding style for $150 that was sold out everywhere except the places that don't deliver to Canada lol. It was nowhere to be found except on one Canadian site for a bit more money but money is no match for a great hands free cum from anal. I have to laugh, before I thought of the pillow and bought it I was thinking about cancelling a few toys, now, I have deliveries on Mon, Tues, Fri and the rider on Fri, with a few more working their way through the system next week, so I went from nothing to everything in 5 wks, and I really can't wait to get and ride them all on my new pillow thing, looks like I'm going to be walking funny and feeling very sexually satisfied in the coming weeks and months, I was already walking funny after banging myself 3 times in one day a handful of times since Oct, I think anyone who knows the signs will be able to tell I've been busy if not now. in 2 weeks time I'll be wakking like I ride horses probably ha ha. So Merry Christmas to me and here's to finding a thick dick man to keep happy and keep the toys for once in a while.