Are men satisfied in straight relationships?

One of the most common things to discuss in bisexual spaces is that men are starting to turn to other men because it's easier, that most men are a bit bi, that men should experience sex with another man because they can please them better, etc. Even one of the top threads in this forum is about men turning to other men in an older age.

In straight spaces there is also lots of talk about how much of a hassle dating or marriage is and a considerable amount of men says they want to be gay. Hence why I am wondering, is it common for men to actually be satisfied in their straight relationships? I'm a woman btw

My wife has stopped having sex and I am not satisfied in my straight relationship. So I turned bi. That has several advantages.

I wanted to do it anyway and just needed a reason. I like the sex very much because it restored the exploration aspect that had disappeared form my marriage.

Men are a lot less work than woman. You get together, have sex, say ti was great then leave. If you want to do it again, then a text message will do since you are both on the DL.

No flowers or phone calls afterwards. No subtle hints to spend time on the holidays.

And yes, I sometimes want to be gay. But it's not going well because I am mostly hetero, I don't think I could ever enjoy snuggling up to a guy the way I love doing it with women. I find it difficult to talk with men about deep emotions too.

We all are supposed to be satisfied in a straight relationship but the truth is that it doesn't really work like that, does it? Dating is a hassle and marriage is another hassle but one that doesn't present itself until somewhere down the road. I think men are satisfied in a straight relationship as long as the things that are supposed to happen... happens and I do mean sex, for the most part. See, one of the lies I was told was that when you get married, it's guaranteed sex as opposed to dating or just trying to fornicate with females. The truth winds up being a whole different thing and I have never quite figured out why a guy who becomes dissatisfied in his straight relationship gets it into his head that turning to men is the answer.

And then finding out that, nah, not so much but some guys find that just being straight leaves them wondering if there's more than just this; women wonder it, too, but there's that thing that guys shouldn't pursue this but women can - and because men are uncaring and emotionally bankrupt assholes who don't understand what a woman really needs. Of course, the real reason for any dissatisfaction is that relationships are all about being monogamous and for one to step outside of their straightness also makes them take a step away from monogamy and... now it gets complicated, doesn't it? This whole love, sex, and relationship thing is a hassle, isn't it? Is "going gay" a better option than being straight and trying to date and all that? I really don't think so because it's going from the frying pan into the fire because that pursuit of love, sex, and relationships actually doesn't change; whatever dissatisfied you in your straight relationship can potentially dissatisfy you outside of this.

Like, seriously, it's hard to get some dick from guys who want to give it to you - but are going to put you through some shit to get it. We're supposed to be satisfied in our straight relationships but that's not really the truth and now it's not that we're not satisfied but what we do when we aren't and... it's easier to get dick than it is to get pussy, to be blunt and honest about it and guys know this and, hmm, that might be the ticket! Because if it worked the way they say it's supposed to, everyone would be all nice and happy in a straight relationship, right?

Okay. I know that women get to a point in their life where they aren't all that interested in sex - and there's a lot of reasons for it that aren't in their control. That's a problem for us even when we understand these things because we're hard-wired to want sex and supposed to only get it from you but if you're not giving us any... dissatisfaction sets in. I grew up knowing that if I wanted to do it to you and you didn't want to, okay, that sucks... but I always knew a guy who would want to and no questions asked. That's not all that different from the "adult version" of this game. I know women who get dissatisfied in their straight relationship but a relationship with another woman can take care of that and in ways that us ham-handed guys can't do anything about.

But she's supposed to be satisfied in her straight relationship, too, but if she isn't, what is she supposed to do? Do it all over again with another guy or... find out what it's like to be with a woman - but this monogamous status also says that if she wants a man, she can't have one as long as she's with a woman - and one that might be cause her some dissatisfaction and now it become a vicious cycle of repetitive behaviors chasing something that, at best, is unrealistic or that fairy tale we all get taught and believe leads to happily ever after.

Yeah, right. Common for it to be presumed that we be satisfied in our straight relationship but the truth and reality is a different critter - and one that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with being dissatisfied with a woman... but dissatisfaction to be trapped in a situation that has no wiggle room to... expand the relationship environment and... now we're getting messy and this is probably TL:DR now. Hit me up offline and we can have fun talking about this.

I have a wonderful straight relationship with my wife. I've told her about my desires to do something different and she is ok with it. Now I just need to get off my ass and do something about it!

Probably not if you are bisexual

Well, considering I've just about always wanted to have more than one sex partner I would say that I have been satisfied.
We have started to explore swinging and bi play together, which is great fun and has added another dimension to our marriage. We fully support each other in exploring.
We had dinner yesterday with a trans girl that went very well, we all liked each other and will have a play date soon.

One of the things my mother told me when I announced that I was getting married was that my marriage was only going to be as good as the two of us were willing to make it. Months after we got married, we went open because my wife, a closeted bisexual woman, wanted out of the closet and had cheated on me so, clearly, she wasn't satisfied in our "straight" relationship. Fine. We changed the rules or, really, we took the rules of being in a relationship and trashed the shit out of them which was fine since we were both bisexual. We had sex with a lot of people both individually and as a couple while maintaining the integrity of our relationship and it just worked.

My mom had a bit of a fit when we got a girlfriend who lived with us but this, too, was us making our marriage as good as we could make it and, really, when my mom first told me this, I took it to mean that I/we had to do anything we had to do to make and keep our marriage being as good as possible... so that's what we did. Would I have been satisfied with the relationship being totally straight? No, given that I've always been bisexual, but I was going to make it work because I was supposed to and be happy in it despite any dissatisfaction, I felt having to be monogamous and not allowed to get me some dick when I needed it. A bit of proof that it's not just men who can't be satisfied in a straight, monogamous relationship...

I have to much to loose so here i am.

i don't think men are ever satisfied . when they see a prettier woman than there wife , they want to cheat. when they want to fuck their wife 3 times a week , (i don't think that is excessive), then the wife only wants to fuck once a week. no matter what kink a man wants to do , the wife refuses , or you have to beg like a dog for his bone. except for short periods of time , i have never been satisfied. at least my wife doesn't mind that i'm a cocksucker. i'm thankful for that.

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Originally Posted by marine20

i don't think men are ever satisfied . when they see a prettier woman than there wife , they want to cheat. when they want to fuck their wife 3 times a week , (i don't think that is excessive), then the wife only wants to fuck once a week. no matter what kink a man wants to do , the wife refuses , or you have to beg like a dog for his bone. except for short periods of time , i have never been satisfied. at least my wife doesn't mind that i'm a cocksucker. i'm thankful for that.

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100% disagree, when I was in long term relationships with women, I never cheated. Even back to highschool, I never cheated on a girlfriend. And in the Army, when deployed, I never cheated.
For me its part of a moral code I wont do it, I will always end the relationship before taking any action

I'm very happy and satisfied in my relationship. Yeah I think back on old experiences sometimes but I would never cheat on my girl. I love her too much and no sex would be worth it. Besides she's into some kinky stuff like pegging, probably more than me. The only problem is she's worried ill step out on her because I was honest with her about past experiences. Wich I don't think is fair, I've had sex with lots of women but she's only worried about men. Idk im happy with her that's all I know

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Originally Posted by marine20

i don't think men are ever satisfied . when they see a prettier woman than there wife , they want to cheat. when they want to fuck their wife 3 times a week , (i don't think that is excessive), then the wife only wants to fuck once a week. no matter what kink a man wants to do , the wife refuses , or you have to beg like a dog for his bone. except for short periods of time , i have never been satisfied. at least my wife doesn't mind that i'm a cocksucker. i'm thankful for that.

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I'm with Jaz in disagreeing with this. When you're being monogamous, the "look but don't touch" rule is in effect and even when you feel that "chemistry" with a woman - and she's feeling it - and the obvious thing to do is fuck, well, you shouldn't. I never cheated on my wife - but she cheated on me and it led to us being open. In high school, eh, "cheating" on a boyfriend/girlfriend was pretty standard unless you had a high school sweetheart; otherwise, I'd have a "girlfriend" just long enough for us to have sex a few times and even then, she'd find a dick that she liked better than mine and it wasn't that big of a deal. High school was... practice for the real thing. Until we went open, I was satisfied in what I thought was a straight relationship; I was bi and I suspected that she was and it all came out in the wash...

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Originally Posted by Bisexual765

One of the most common things to discuss in bisexual spaces is that men are starting to turn to other men because it's easier, that most men are a bit bi, that men should experience sex with another man because they can please them better, etc. Even one of the top threads in this forum is about men turning to other men in an older age.

In straight spaces there is also lots of talk about how much of a hassle dating or marriage is and a considerable amount of men says they want to be gay. Hence why I am wondering, is it common for men to actually be satisfied in their straight relationships? I'm a woman btw

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I have been curious outside our friends about this as well. Great post and insights. WOW. Thanks everyone for your openness.

I had to edit -

I forgot to answer the question for my husband. He says he was/is totally satisfied, would never had interest in nonmonogamy without my influence, definitely not bisex, could go back to it and be fine with it. "I complete him." Yes he is being corny. He points out all the amazing fun we have had with guys together, says he enjoys it since I get my over fill of penis and cum play, however would miss the real deal anal and real deal oral since it is very difficult to reproduce something like that. It's added several new dimensions to our sex life, no doubt but not musts.

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Originally Posted by TRICK69

I have to much to loose so here i am.

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I didn't mean to laugh, but you made me chuckle. I see this often in unsatisfied marriages. My husband and I feel for you. I know it is no laughing matter but sometimes laughter is helpful in a drab situation. Certainly there is some way to find a compromise or balance or "in-between?"

While there are guys who may be dissatisfied in their straight relationship, they know what their situation is and they know what they stand to lose - or what it's going to cost them - if they do anything about their bisexuality. In a way, you don't have to like it - you just better do it or else. I've known women who discovered that their guy is bi who will start laying the coochie on them and thinking that more pussy will remove his urge for a man. I'd say that in the situations I knew of, it worked... kind of. In others, all it did for the guy was get him more sex and especially when the well had run dry prior to his bisexuality becoming known.

I have always said that the worst thing ever is to be bisexual and, in a relationship - and then with someone who's not going to understand their resident bisexual and, as such, "forcing" them to be straight which I think just makes any dissatisfaction felt even worse.

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Originally Posted by Bisexual765

One of the most common things to discuss in bisexual spaces is that men are starting to turn to other men because it's easier, that most men are a bit bi, that men should experience sex with another man because they can please them better, etc. Even one of the top threads in this forum is about men turning to other men in an older age.

In straight spaces there is also lots of talk about how much of a hassle dating or marriage is and a considerable amount of men says they want to be gay. Hence why I am wondering, is it common for men to actually be satisfied in their straight relationships? I'm a woman btw

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Originally Posted by Jozyxt

My wife has stopped having sex and I am not satisfied in my straight relationship. So I turned bi. That has several advantages.

I like the sex very much because it restored the exploration aspect that had disappeared from my marriage.

Men are a lot less work than woman. You get together, have sex, say ti was great then leave. If you want to do it again, then a text message will do since you are both on the DL.

No flowers or phone calls afterwards. No subtle hints to spend time on the holidays.

And yes, I sometimes want to be gay. But it's not going well because I am mostly hetero, I don't think I could ever enjoy snuggling up to a guy the way I love doing it with women. I find it difficult to talk with men about deep emotions too.

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Originally Posted by KDaddy23

We all are supposed to be satisfied in a straight relationship but the truth is that it doesn't really work like that, does it? Dating is a hassle and marriage is another hassle but one that doesn't present itself until somewhere down the road. I think men are satisfied in a straight relationship as long as the things that are supposed to happen... happens and I do mean sex, for the most part. See, one of the lies I was told was that when you get married, it's guaranteed sex as opposed to dating or just trying to fornicate with females. The truth winds up being a whole different thing.

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So much I want to chat about here. I love these posts:

"One of the most common things to discuss in bisexual spaces is that men are starting to turn to other men because it's easier,"

From what I see, once you get around others of like mind yes it is easier. We have hungry husbands asking to join our group very often.

"that most men are a bit bi,"

I do not believe this is true but who knows I have never done a worldwide survey of all the men in the world. I believe what KDaddy said, if the normal marriages stayed as they were expected I feel most people would be more than happy exploring to their hearts content within their own marriage. I feel had I not been exposed to my crazy college years I would have never have the addictions to sex I have.

"that men should experience sex with another man because they can please them better, etc."

Yes and no. No because most are not going to even go there so they have no idea, not a clue. Yes because if they ever do go there they will find out how amazing it can be. My husband did. It took forever but once he let it happen, oh my WOW! For both of us. He will be the first to tell you - getting fucked and cummed in the ass by real cock that knows what it is doing is mind altering (I understand where he is coming from myself on this). Also as we both also know, there is no other experience like sucking a real cock and taking its cum. Not a single other even close experience.
"Even one of the top threads in this forum is about men turning to other men in an older age."

This I totally understand. As we wives get older and as so many have so well pointed out, we often let the ole married responsibilities (I say fun & enjoyment) slide to the wayside. Less older women wanting sex, more older men wanting sex, do the math. But I also believe if the sex doll revolution ever hits with the portrayed movie level robotics - sex robots of high quality, there will be less men turning to men. From what I see, most men just want good sex on a consistent basis. I sex it up all the time with my husband when we travel and he never even brings up our swinging. Now when we travel with other couples, we sex it up like always.

"In straight spaces there is also lots of talk about how much of a hassle dating or marriage is and a considerable amount of men says they want to be gay."

Yes I see and hear the same about what a hassle dating is. In my sphere I do not see them wanting to be gay, just wanting good regular sex. My husband put it plainly the other day, "Now that I let guys suck me, I would be hard pressed to stop a guy if he pulled it out and went to town on me, but that's also true of any female."

"Hence why I am wondering, is it common for men to actually be satisfied in their straight relationships? I'm a woman btw"

A KDaddy mentioned, if marriages are healthy sexually, yes.

"My wife has stopped having sex and I am not satisfied in my straight relationship. So I turned bi. That has several advantages."

As my husband and I have discovered, yes, yes it does! ;)

"I like the sex very much because it restored the exploration aspect that had disappeared from my marriage."
For us too, we love the exploring with couples (the bi aspects of it especially).

"Men are a lot less work than woman. You get together, have sex, say it was great then leave. If you want to do it again, then a text message will do since you are both on the DL."

I even agree with this. We ladies are more work. Why? We just are.
To try and not be this way we ladies have attempted to come over, have sex, and move on but darn if we can't help but plan food, drinks, setting up the place, chatting about all sorts of even nonsexual things.
To test it with the guys we ladies stayed clothed, the guys came over, sucked, a few fucked. Bam! They were done for the most part. A few wanted some more sucking or fucking, then Bam! Left. Darn those men...

"No flower or phone calls afterwards. No subtle hints to spend time on the holidays."

This is HILARIOUS! If one of the guys did that every guy in the place would probably smack the heck out of him. We now have 2 gay couples in our circle and even they do not do that.

"But it's not going well because I am mostly hetero, I don't think I could ever enjoy snuggling up to a guy the way I love doing it with women. I find it difficult to talk with men about deep emotions too."

Euuuuwwwww - thank goodness. Such a turn off for our group.

"We all are supposed to be satisfied in a straight relationship but the truth is that it doesn't really work like that, does it?"

No it does not for many and it is extremely sad. I believe it was Stalin who said the way to defeat America is through its famiy unit. As a nation we have been ripped apart and it is only getting more confusing. I hate to see good families splitting up.

"Dating is a hassle and marriage is another hassle but one that doesn't present itself until somewhere down the road."

Ditto on the dating. I would not want to be out there. As for down the road, I personally believe it stems from laziness. My husband and I both work hard at our jobs, our fitness, health, marriage, finances, and of course our sex life. I see so many who do not. Two of our younger couples were on the brink of collapse. They found their way into our group and no, it isn't the sex that helped them, it is seeing couples who work at our marriages.

"I think men are satisfied in a straight relationship as long as the things that are supposed to happen... happens and I do mean sex, for the most part."

I agree. So does my husband. So do many others.

"See, one of the lies I was told was that when you get married, its guaranteed sex as opposed to dating or just trying to fornicate with females. The truth winds up being a whole different thing."

Many people have no idea how true of a statement that is. As I mentioned it goes back to the laziness of someone. Too lazy to work on it, or tell someone the whole truth, be open, talk things through/out, etc. When my husband finally relented about the whole swinging thing, we talked it out. I was clear about why. I had experienced it, longed for it, and wanted to share it with my best friend and best lover. He's so amazing about it, he physically enjoys the sex acts that can only be done with guys but seldom ever wants to do them without me. I am the same. We are in it together to share together to experience together.

We can definitely share as a monogamous couple and have amazing sex but as I wrote here, there are somethings that are not reproducible without other bodies and they are Extremely Pleasurable.

If something were to happen where I lost total interest in sex. My husband said he would openly have sex with others with my full knowledge. He would stay with our couples if they were okay with that, other wise he'd look for another lady of like mind. He'd be good with straight sex.

There's a lot of stuff about this that can be more "urban legend" that actual truth. Do men do it better? Yes... and not even close. Is it because of women? Yes, and nope. Is it a getting older thing? Yes and no and more so when I know how much dick I was getting when I was a kid and before getting into a relationship with a girl became a "must" for me. Is it totally true that if a couple's sex life is alive and well, he's going to be and stay satisfied? Nope, because I know guys who get more pussy than they know what to do with and there's some dissatisfaction going on just the same and sometimes in relationships where the woman's libido is off the charts and his... not so much - but he knows that if he doesn't fuck her, someone else will be banging the shit out of her. Really weird to hear a guy say to a woman, "Is that all you think about?"

Is it laziness? I'd say yes because we work hard to start a relationship but once it gets going, we stop working at it and won't until someone will invariably ask, "Honey, what can we do to spice things up?" - and rejecting spice can foment dissatisfaction because when you're in a relationship, no outside help is allowed - and this remains true even if both parties agree that getting some outside help makes sense. Historically, the moment a guy's lady starts making excuses for why she doesn't want to have sex, dissatisfaction arrives and brings its friend contempt along for the ride and now, it's all starting to circle the drain unless something is done to prevent it, but it can get to a point where the dissatisfaction and contempt is so great that letting it go down the drain is the only recourse.

The sad reality in this is that if the relationship is not going the way he thought it should go, he's going to be dissatisifed. Like a lot of women do, men believe the fairy tale about how a relationship is supposed to be until reality shows up and says, "Really dude? Hold my beer..."

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Originally Posted by Jazminedress

100% disagree, when I was in long term relationships with women, I never cheated. Even back to highschool, I never cheated on a girlfriend. And in the Army, when deployed, I never cheated.
For me its part of a moral code I wont do it, I will always end the relationship before taking any action

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every one is different, but if you read carefully , i said ,they WANT to cheat. some will cheat , and some won't.

wifekinky4husband, you live in a sexual playground, i could never be unsatisfied if you were my wife. but lets face it , there are very few women like you . i wish there were a lot more , including my wife.

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Originally Posted by marine20

wifekinky4husband, you live in a sexual playground, i could never be unsatisfied if you were my wife. but lets face it , there are very few women like you . i wish there were a lot more , including my wife.

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It is very true. I am so very very blessed. I have run across many pockets of groups over the years here and there. It think more are growing. People are looking for something safe, fun, drama free, easy. Once you find the right fit, rhythm, it is so healthy others are drawn to it. Perhaps someone will do an article or a website about them.

Being bi and open and/or poly is... amazing. Being a couple and openly having sex with other couples and more so when everyone's bisexuality would come out to play. Yep, you find the right people and... there's not much that can compare to it and it makes being straight and vanilla look boring by comparison. It can be a cure for dissatisfaction... but you gotta be seriously grown up to make such a step.

Hi, Bisexual765!
I guess it's only natural that the subject of men turning to men comes up very frequently in bi chats, etc. I am in my late 60's and have been sucking other men since I first tried in when I was 29. I was in a 7 year relationship at the time with a woman. She was without a doubt able to satisfy me sexually, orally and with intercourse, so I don't agree that men can please other men better than a woman. In my case, I simply got curious about what it would be like to suck a cock, so when I got the opportunity, I took it.
Everyone is different, but, for me, it's something that is incredibly arousing, to orally pleasure another man. It's something I cannot do with a woman, and I have grown to accept that I love being in the submissive role while sucking cock.
So, in my case, it's not a matter of whether a man can please me better than a woman can...it's just that I get a very lusty sexual thrill from kneeling and being a submissive cocksucker. I love feeling his dick stiffen, throb and spurt warm cum in my mouth. There's only one way to have that sexual experience.
However, I also love taking on a submissive role when I lick my girl's clit. I love for a woman to straddle me and rub her pussy lips all over my mouth, spreading her juices onto my tongue and face, if she so wishes, while talking dirty to me.

If I was in a loving relationship with a woman who was openminded about sex.... If we were kinky and liked to be open about our fantasies and desires, then I could easily forego sucking dick. I wouldn't feel compelled to get my kinky fix somewhere else.

While the pleasure and arousal I get from kneeling in front of a hard cock would be missed, I could shrug it off, no problem.

I think the majority of men who seek out other men do so because they and their partner aren't being totally open with each other about their needs and desires.
Still, for some men, no matter what they are getting at home, it won't keep them from straying.

I know I've rambled about this, but, to answer your question, every guy is different. If a guy wants to enjoy another man's hard cock, what can a woman do to prevent that? I don't know.

You asked is it common for men to actually be satisfied in their straight relationships? I'm not sure if it's 'common', but I think there is a good many men who are well satisfied in straight relationships.

I'm looking forward to reading other's opinions. In the big picture, I prefer women over men because I love a soft body...tits...kissing soft feminine lips... I love to lick pussy and I'm not into anal. I love the feel of sinking into a wet pussy. I could never be in a romantic relationship with a man. My sexual desire with men has to do with my fixation on his hard cock. Really, that's my only interest with another man.

I could easily be satisfied with a straight relationship. In spite of my floundering answer, no question, I'd thrive in a good, healthy and kinky straight relationship. I'm not in a relationship now but I've been there and I'm ready to do it again.

[QUOTE=Rest85;376951]Hi, Bisexual765!
I guess it's only natural that the subject of men turning to men comes up very frequently in bi chats, etc. I am in my late 60's and have been sucking other men since I first tried in when I was 29. I was in a 7 year relationship at the time with a woman. She was without a doubt able to satisfy me sexually, orally and with intercourse, so I don't agree that men can please other men better than a woman. In my case, I simply got curious about what it would be like to suck a cock, so when I got the opportunity, I took it.
Everyone is different, but, for me, it's something that is incredibly arousing, to orally pleasure another man. It's something I cannot do with a woman, and I have grown to accept that I love being in the submissive role while sucking cock.
So, in my case, it's not a matter of whether a man can please me better than a woman can...it's just that I get a very lusty sexual thrill from kneeling and being a submissive cocksucker. I love feeling his dick stiffen, throb and spurt warm cum in my mouth. There's only one way to have that sexual experience.
However, I also love taking on a submissive role when I lick my girl's clit. I love for a woman to straddle me and rub her pussy lips all over my mouth, spreading her juices onto my tongue and face, if she so wishes, while talking dirty to me.

If I was in a loving relationship with a woman who was openminded about sex.... If we were kinky and liked to be open about our fantasies and desires, then I could easily forego sucking dick. I wouldn't feel compelled to get my kinky fix somewhere else.

While the pleasure and arousal I get from kneeling in front of a hard cock would be missed, I could shrug it off, no problem.

I think the majority of men who seek out other men do so because they and their partner aren't being totally open with each other about their needs and desires.
Still, for some men, no matter what they are getting at home, it won't keep them from straying.

I know I've rambled about this, but, to answer your question, every guy is different. If a guy wants to enjoy another man's hard cock, what can a woman do to prevent that? I don't know.

You asked is it common for men to actually be satisfied in their straight relationships? I'm not sure if it's 'common', but I think there is a good many men who are well satisfied in straight relationships.

I'm looking forward to reading other's opinions. In the big picture, I prefer women over men because I love a soft body...tits...kissing soft feminine lips... I love to lick pussy and I'm not into anal. I love the feel of sinking into a wet pussy. I could never be in a romantic relationship with a man. My sexual desire with men has to do with my fixation on his hard cock. Really, that's my only interest with another man.

I could easily be satisfied with a straight relationship. In spite of my floundering answer, no question, I'd thrive in a good, healthy and kinky straight relationship. I'm not in a relationship now but I've been there and I'm ready to do it again.[/QUOTE

Just to add to my previous comments; I love to suck cock. I love being a sub dick lover and I whimper like a hungry slut when a guy's cock gets rock hard between my lips...when I hear him moaning, telling me he's about to cum. I love to jack off after I've swallowed his warm cream. I always get off really hard from being a no recip cosksucker with the taste of his cum lingering in my mouth.
But! Give me a loving healthy relationship with a woman who is openminded sexually and I'll be satisfied in my straight relationship. I want it.

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Originally Posted by wifekinky4husband

It is very true. I am so very very blessed. I have run across many pockets of groups over the years here and there. It think more are growing. People are looking for something safe, fun, drama free, easy. Once you find the right fit, rhythm, it is so healthy others are drawn to it. Perhaps someone will do an article or a website about them.

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Quite a while ago in another thread you asked about my situation - I tried at the time to come up with some sensible response and finally put that off until I'd found a bit more clarity. Not sure I'm there yet, but...

As I mentioned before - I'm 67 and my wife is 60. When we married ten years ago we had at very active and varied sex life. Before we met we'd both had some bisexual activity in our lives, my wife even having had an exclusively lesbian relationship briefly a couple of lovers prior. I've a married male friend a few years older then me who I've played with on and off for three decades now. I'd had hopes of integrating our bi sides when we married, but my wife seemed to be only into me and was not interested in being led (and she is largely of a nature to like being led sexually) in that sort of direction. We'd both had some involvement in group sex in younger years so I thought maybe, just maybe things might lead in some interesting direction of the sort? we even talked about it a bit. Then we married and... things changed.

Then her menopause started to deepen and intercourse became painful - never a lubrication issue as she was always soaked, but something to do with a thinning of the lining? We never managed to find a solution and stuck with oral and anal (which she always enjoyed) solutions until gradually her libido just dropped to zero and nothing could get her engine started. Eventually it got to the point where she'd say it was something we should talk about, but was never actually willing to address. While overall our relationship is very affectionate she has taken to avoiding anything that might lead to me being aroused (which doesn't admittedly take much). I honestly don't know how to jump start things at this point and suspect a path leading that direction is going to be tough to create.

Over the past half decade or so since sex with my wife dried up I've been playing with my married male friend more frequently, but over recent times two things have happened. The big one is that I've realized increasingly that my sexual motivation comes primarily from the opposite sex. The longer it has been since I last made love with a woman, the less motivated in general I feel. No, not really so. I feel the urge to sex as much as I ever have, but the motivation to actually participate has waned a bit. Keyed into this is that my sex buddy has suffered increasing levels of ED and can't get hard enough to penetrate me anally, something we always enjoyed doing for each other.

I am finding myself surrounded by 50-70 year-old women who seem to pick up on my sexual need and make clear that they'd like to play. As tempting as it sometimes can be (oh my) I have been avoiding actually engaging on that level. Quite apart from the ethical side of the issue women have always seen me pretty ,much immediately as "partner material". In spite of whatever discussions might have taken place in the early stages, I've yet to have a woman remain happy with less than the whole enchilada. Over the years I've had a considerable number of women angry with me when I didn't agree that good sex automatically evolve into a lifetime partnership. Not what was agreed going in!

So I've blathered on sideways on this, but the truth is I need about a month in bed with an enthusiastic female. Ah well.. *sigh*

I am very satisfied with my wife, physically and emotionally.

My bisexuality is purely selfish. 1) I like the taboo of two men pleasuring each other (my wife is completely against any gay sex), 2) I want to do what I can't do with my wife (suck dick and getting fucked), 3) I like the rush of sneaking around and cheating (even more of a rush when it's with a guy), 4) I can't explain it, but there's something about having a big, hard cock in your mouth.

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Originally Posted by Bisexual765

One of the most common things to discuss in bisexual spaces is that men are starting to turn to other men because it's easier, that most men are a bit bi, that men should experience sex with another man because they can please them better, etc. Even one of the top threads in this forum is about men turning to other men in an older age.

In straight spaces there is also lots of talk about how much of a hassle dating or marriage is and a considerable amount of men says they want to be gay. Hence why I am wondering, is it common for men to actually be satisfied in their straight relationships? I'm a woman btw

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Hi Bisexual765 I think you are partially right about the time and money it takes to court a woman, and how much easier it is to pick up a male partner for a one- or two-off. But just because a guy picks up on another guy for a bj or a quickie doesn't necessarily make him gay. There are a lot of married men who are out there just looking for a sexual fix. They are usually satisfied that a male partner will not be hanging around for dinners, a movie, roses etc. They are afraid if they hook up with another female it will upset their lives, their family and home life.

Women and men tend to have a different view when it comes to sex. To be blunt, women (unless they are paid prostitutes) tend to want a relationship. Most men are just out to get their rocks off.

It doesn't matter the gender, but if a woman is taking care of business at home, or vice-versa, if the man is taking care of business at home, there is no need to look elsewhere. I've had affairs on both sides of the fence and it usually boils down to one or the other.

Back in the stone age, 50 years ago I set a 50 dollar limit on courting a woman. If the limit was reached and I didn't get laid it was so long sweetheart. Kinda harsh but true. The ABS was always there with a willing if anonymous set of lips ready to take a load. At times I was the giver as well as the receiver. So from my elderly point of view, men crave mystery and adventure. What's the use of wasting money and coming home with aching nuts? If America wasn't settled by Puritans we'd have whore houses and much fewer sex crimes. Speaking from experience, 20 years in the Navy, I would rather go see Hot Helena than chase after Frigid Frieda with much better results. So sayeth the Grump!

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Originally Posted by DLazguy

I am very satisfied with my wife, physically and emotionally.

My bisexuality is purely selfish. 1) I like the taboo of two men pleasuring each other (my wife is completely against any gay sex), 2) I want to do what I can't do with my wife (suck dick and getting fucked), 3) I like the rush of sneaking around and cheating (even more of a rush when it's with a guy), 4) I can't explain it, but there's something about having a big, hard cock in your mouth.

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That is one of the arguments I had for my husband going bi with me. lol

"to do what I can't do with my wife (suck dick and getting fucked)"

He totally gets it now and it is what he'd miss if we switched back to monogamy. You cannot reproduce the real deal no matter how creative you get with toys. I'd miss how tender the ladies are. I had no idea how addicting eating my friends would become, yep cannot reproduce that with a guy, even with my husband having such a sweet ... ;0

I would totally get it if my husband had sat me down decades ago and said, "I love you and love our sex, only there are things I cannot provide for you and that you cannot provide for me. We both need more cum. And cocks." I'd probably pass out. Upon waking say, "Cocks??? The both of us???" And pass out again in sheer pleasure when he said yes.

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Originally Posted by wifekinky4husband

That is one of the arguments I had for my husband going bi with me. lol

"to do what I can't do with my wife (suck dick and getting fucked)"

He totally gets it now and it is what he'd miss if we switched back to monogamy. You cannot reproduce the real deal no matter how creative you get with toys. I'd miss how tender the ladies are. I had no idea how addicting eating my friends would become, yep cannot reproduce that with a guy, even with my husband having such a sweet ... ;0

I would totally get it if my husband had sat me down decades ago and said, "I love you and love our sex, only there are things I cannot provide for you and that you cannot provide for me. We both need more cum. And cocks." I'd probably pass out. Upon waking say, "Cocks??? The both of us???" And pass out again in sheer pleasure when he said yes.

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There really is no direct substituting male and female bits... eating a woman is a completely different experience from anything possible with a man and of course the same it true for the male bits. Even getting fucked by a real cock with a real man attached and getting his pleasure as you get yours is completely different from having a toy doing the same job. That doesn't even begin to get into the emotional experiences...

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Originally Posted by Grumpygrandpa

Back in the stone age, 50 years ago I set a 50 dollar limit on courting a woman. If the limit was reached and I didn't get laid it was so long sweetheart. Kinda harsh but true. The ABS was always there with a willing if anonymous set of lips ready to take a load. At times I was the giver as well as the receiver. So from my elderly point of view, men crave mystery and adventure. What's the use of wasting money and coming home with aching nuts? If America wasn't settled by Puritans we'd have whore houses and much fewer sex crimes. Speaking from experience, 20 years in the Navy, I would rather go see Hot Helena than chase after Frigid Frieda with much better results. So sayeth the Grump!

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Chasing girls back in my young days was not always a success. Lacking experience, knowledge or common sense. Others say "young and dumb". At least there was some guy on guy action every now and then. I also always said: I won't pay for sex. That doesn't include going out for dinner or drinks. Now many years later and happily married. We "hunt" together. Girls for us or just for her. Guys for both of us. Also ladyboys. When we're overseas in Asia, we sponsor our playmates but also stick with our limits. Don't fall for prices they give you. And you agree just because you're horny. If a daily salary for a regular job is $20 there. These 20 bucks are a lot a money for a two hour escort. Forget this in the US. We heard stories that hookers want $ 1000 after you bring them to a good restaurant first and maybe some shopping. And don't forget to tip! LOL. NO thanks!!!