Originally Posted by
ldner
I was wondering how other people reconciled themselves to being bi.
I know from my own experience that it can be quite a freaky thing to come to terms with and for a long time i was very troubled with it. I consider myself mostly straight but with bi leanings that are something strong and other times very weak (I think just as there is a sliding scale in people's sexuality, so that few people are truly wholly homosexual or wholly heterosexual sexuality, also sexuality changes inside people at different times).
I had a few sexual encounters with guys in my early teens but thought nothing of it. It wasn't until my mid 20s that i started, almost accidentally and usually drunkenly, to have encounters with guys. Weirdly I still had it in my mind that i was completely straight and the thoughts i had and the sexual adventures I was occasionally having, were simply an anomaly.
But as I got into long term and serious relationships with women, it started to haunt me that i was having this hidden life, both physically and in my head. It bothered me that I was cheating on these unknowing women involved with me but also that i was in someway dishonest to my own self, my own being, if i didn't act on these parts of myself. There is that thing that people say 'to your own self be true', which sounds like it should be a simple thing, but is one of the hardest things in life to do. It resulted in me dumping a lot of relationships which were very good and where I couldn't tell the woman the real reason why i was leaving.
Now I have reached a point in my life where hopefully I feel I have a reasonably honest (if you can be reasonable about honesty) position between the different parts of my life. I am in a long term relaionship with a woman i love. and who knows i am bi.
It is not perfect but maybe the only thing you learn as you get older is that you don't really get perfection in life; you just get to a place where you learn to live with your inability to be perfect.
I would like to know how other people keep it together.