My Obama-Losin It-Prop 8 Story...

The short of it is that I knew I was bisexual since 2005, but could never talk freely and openly about it, let alone do something with it. I had no friends in the LGBT community at all and was in a straight relationship that I didn't want to be in, which made me straight by default and unhappy. Whew.

Then, I was SINGLE and suddenly forced to deal with being bi. And watching Obama soar to victory in the process. I was so inspired that I walked the AIDS walk in LA with 325 dollars raised for the cause. I felt right at home in West Hollywood, protesting Prop 8 in the heart of the gay community. A girl made a very obvious pass at me and I even turned her down on the grounds that I only wanted to date guys. (I should have gotten her phone number first. Dummy.)

Last weekend, a few days before the election, I hung out with a gay friend I hadn't seen in five years, since before I knew I was bi. We got drunk and stoned, made out, and ended up naked in bed for the night. I had been fantasizing for months... no, years... about sucking another man's fat, hard cock. And twice, I got my chance. And I loved it. Seriously, eating pussy sucks compared to blowing a dude.

I busted my gay cherry. I consider that sex because I'm about as into anal as a lesbian. Based on the porn I watch, anyway. Until then, the reason I had to keep my sexuality from everyone was because I hadn't really proven it to myself. Okay, now, there's no doubt.

I cast my vote for Obama and No on Prop 8, hoping that same sex marriage in Cali would survive. I stood there proud as hell when he won. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Then, I woke up the next morning and found that 8 had passed and I had been reduced in status to a second class citizen, not worthy of the rights that straight people have.

I drove through West Hollywood again that day on my way to work. It was deserted and the No on 8 signs were scattered on the pavement. If a tumbleweed had rolled down the street, it would have been as tragically funny as a murdered clown. Instead, it was just plain tragic.

My coworkers have been very sweet to the gay employees in my office, myself included. I swapped dozens of texts with my bi friends and the dude I blew. I had dinner with my best friend and told her about everything and she was so happy I had come out to her. That evening, I decided that if I had to spent another day pretending to be straight, when I know I'm not, that I decided to take the Obama-Prop 8 story as my cue to come out to my family.

My reason is simple. I am a documentary filmmaker and I can't hide who I am when my work depends on being open and honest. I can't explore the LGBT issues and fight back against discrimination as part of some secret double life I keep hidden from my family.

As my boss said, "On we march..." She's a lesbian, by the way. I've felt a real solidarity with my gay friends. I think that No on Prop 8 has brought the LGBT community together in a way not seen since the first pride parades of the 80s. I don't want to hide who I am, or have to hint at it, without being able to say the word "bisexual." We saw a black man become president, something we thought was impossible. If gay is indeed the new black, then we have some work to do.

But first comes coming out to the family. Any ideas?

It was a shame about the whole prop 8 thing, I feel sorry for the people who got married when same-sex marriage was still legal in California and now find themselves separated. Glad to see that the campaign to stop prop 8 helped you to come out though.

I mean we've had civil partnerships ("gay marriage" in all but name) for a couple of years in the UK and luckily no-one has tried to stop them here once they were legalised. I guess the church has less of an influence in the UK than the US.

As for your comments about "blowing a dude", I have to agree... it is amazing (and it is also how I consider myself to have lost my "gay virginity"... excuse the pun but anal really is a pain in the arse, tried it once... never again).

In terms of the whole coming out thing, it is probably best to see it as a gradual process. Once you've come out to a few people, it is a lot easier to come out to other people. As for family, that is where things get a bit more complicated.... It might be best to test the water first by asking them casually what their views are on things like prop 8 etc... if you think that they are ok about gay/bi people then come out when you feel ready. However, it has been said that some parents don't mind gay/bi people but don't like the idea that their son is one. I don;t know.