By Jon Pressick
Editor's Note: Here is another in our series of articles profiling prominent bisexual people— people who are bisexual and out and have left their mark on the world.
Few bisexual people are as out, active and prominent as Robyn Ochs. She has, and continues to do it all. A lecturer, advocate, author/editor and rabblerouser, Robyn and her partner Peg Preble married on May 17, 2004—the first day it was legal for same-sex couples to do so in Massachussetts, USA. She travels the country lecturing on a wide range of topics, many of which deal with bisexuality. Her writings have appeared in many publications, and she is the editor of the new book, Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World. And she does so much more than these as well!
Tell us about your latest book Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World.
Getting Bi is an anthology of short personal writings by people in 32 different countries on six continents. Authors range in age from 15-79. Some are professional writers, and some have never before even written a letter to the editor.
Bi Any Other Name (1991), the first major anthology on bisexuality, is sometimes jokingly referred to as “the Bi-ble.” To extend this analogy,
Getting Bi (2005) could be considered the New Testament. Some of
Getting Bi’s authors were also in
Bi Any Other Name—including, editors Lani Ka’ahumanu, Loraine Hutchins, and Carol Queen, Rifka Reichler, BobBi Keppel, Amanda Udis-Kessler, and myself. The vast majority, though, are new-bis. Sarah Rowley and I co-edited this anthology, and all proceeds from book sales benefit the Bisexual Resource Center.
Can you please give a brief description of the Bisexual Resource Center, how it started, your role currently, etc.
The Bisexual Resource Center was founded in 1985 primarily to provide a fiscal home to the annual bi conferences we were sponsoring up and down the East Coast. We’ve evolved to the point where we have an office, provide resources (brochures, referrals, Getting Bi) all over the world, and we also serve as a home to various Boston-based bi groups, including the Boston Bisexual Women’s Network, Biversity Boston, and various coming out groups and married women’s and men’s groups. The one thing we do not have is paid staff. All of the work of our organization is done by volunteers.
What is the greatest challenge for bisexual people today?
We silly humans keep on trying to squeeze everything into binaries, and we are profoundly uncomfortable with things that challenge simple either/or categories. So part of the discomfort and resistance to understanding/seeing bisexuality is about binaries, and is not really about bisexuality per se, because we’re also uncomfortable with people who identify as bi- or multiracial, and with people who don’t identify simply as male or female, and so on. Adding to this, the United States is in perpetual sex panic, and anything that conjures up images of sex or sexuality is simultaneously embraced and resisted. But in short, I think our biggest challenge is to make ourselves visible as bi-identified people. Because people are so busy fortifying binaries, bisexuals are simply not seen.
The marriage debate 'seems' to have been spearheaded mostly by gay and lesbian couples. What role do you see bi people having in this issue?
This is where language becomes important. If I am a woman married to another woman (and I am!) am I one of those lesbian couples that are spearheading the marriage equality movement? The reality is that many people in same-sex relationships identify as bi. We’ve always been part of the marriage equality movement, though we often go unseen
as bisexuals. Here at MassEquality in Boston, the staff, board and volunteers include lesbian, gay, bi and straight people. I think that every person—of every sexual orientation and of every relationship choice—should see this as a movement that is about so much more than marriage—it’s about equal citizenship. For me it’s about being pro-choice: I know that not everyone is interested in getting married, but each of us deserves the right to have that choice for our self.
Do you think bi people are perceived as apathetic to the issue because they can always "switch back?"
Most people are apathetic. Most LGBT people are not—I’m sad to say—involved in fighting for their own rights. They’re too busy raising children, taking care of their elderly parents, dealing with their own work, health or family issues, watching sports and other brain candy on the idiot box, partying – just like most straight people.
In addition, those in the LGBT community who are closeted and/or have a great deal of internalized homophobia are likely not doing their share of activism.
Interestingly some of the fiercest advocates for LGBT rights are bi folks who are currently in other-sex relationships. One gift that bi people have (whether or not we use it) is that we have first-hand experience that a relationship is a relationship is a relationship, and that it’s silly to sort them or rank them by sex.
What topics are you currently teaching, and what topics do you most frequently cover in your speaking engagements?
My workshops and talks are wide-ranging. Two of my favorite programs these days are: “
I Now Pronounce You … Equal,” a talk about marriage equality; and “
Crossing Lines: Identity and the Sexuality Spectrum,” an interactive workshop that reframes our understanding of sexual orientation and labels and encourages us to appreciate the wonderful complexity of human experience. There are two pages of talks and workshops on my website.
In my experience, and I've noted this from others, organizing bisexual people into a 'community' is a challenge, to say the least. Do you have tips for those who would like to become more active?
Organizing bisexuals is challenging because we are all so different. We come in all ages, all classes, all ethnicities, and we cover the political spectrum. That can make us really hard to organize. But it can also make for some interesting discussions when we do come together. For someone wanting to become more active, I would recommend getting as quickly as possible to the nearest and next bi conference.
Transcending Boundaries will be held in Worcester MA in mid-September of next year. The 10th International Conference on Bisexuality will be held at the University of Rhode Island in July of 2008. There are regular events in the UK and in other locations. And if you can’t get to one of those, get to an annual LGBT campus conference such as the Midwest LGBT Campus Conference which will be at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign in 2008 and at Indiana University in 2009; or to Creating Change, the conference of the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force; or to the conference of the International Lesbian and Gay Association. They are all amazing experiences.
Finally, if you can’t get to one of the conferences (or even if you can) get onto the Bi Activists’ email list, or the Bi Writers list, or the BiNet USA list. There’s a lot of activism and community building in cyberspace.
Do you see a difference between bi womens' and bi mens' activism?
Historically, bi women’s activism comes directly from feminism and the women’s movement. I think that distinction has blurred over the years though, as bi male activists (not to be confused with all bi men) have become more feminist, and the bi and trans activist movements have become increasingly connected.
How do you think bi folks are perceived, in 2007, by the straight community?
Mostly, we’re not perceived at all. When we are, we’re perceived as evil male vectors of AIDS from the [guilty] gay community to the [innocent] straight community, as closeted men on the down low, as teenage girls who make out with their female friends to get attention. Some things haven’t changed much….
How do you think bi folks are perceived, in 2007, by the queer community?
Here there’s been significant improvement. But we still have a long way to go. We’re still largely invisible.
What would your utopia be?
I want to live in a world where safety is not equated with sameness, where difference is seen as something that makes the world richer and more interesting. I want to live in a world where – as the old button said “Our schools have all the money they need, and the military has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber.” I want to live in a world in which we practice sustainability, where we care for each other and for our very fragile planet.
Please tell us about yourself! What are your personal interests, hobbies... we'd love to know more about you!
When I’m not out there traveling around the country being a poster bisexual, I’m engaged in marriage equality work, or doing neighborhood organizing, or animal rescue, or writing letters to editors or to my elected representatives. Or I’m partner dancing— I’m a big two-stepper and swing dancer and Boston has a great LGBT dance scene! Or I’m hanging out with the special children in my life (Gabe 5, and Lewis, 2 who live next door; and Leah, 11, who lives down the street). I’m an avid reader, especially of fiction. I love reading novels that are set in other countries and cultures. I find it a great way to learn about experiences that are different from my own. Peg and I live in a very gay-friendly neighborhood of Boston with three cats and a garden, and we’re good friends with several neighbors. I love being an activist. Life is good. And I still have a great deal to do, and a lot to learn.
About the photos...
1. Robyn & Peg walking from the court house back to Brookline Town Hall to get married (credit Laurie Swope)
2. Robyn & Peg outside Brookline Town Hall on their wedding day, May 17, 2004 (credit Tufts Daily)
Robyn is carrying the flowers.
Re: Unstoppable and Always Learning: Robyn Ochs
Re: Unstoppable and Always Learning: Robyn Ochs
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Re: Unstoppable and Always Learning: Robyn Ochs
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