By Tara-Michelle Ziniuk
Many of the world’s cultures recognize more than two genders. The notion that there are those of us who do not fit precisely into either a male or female role has historically been accepted by many groups.
- from ‘A Native American Perspective on the Theory of Gender Continuum’
Personal Trajectory
Years ago, as a teenager, I was content with a bisexual identity. I was specific in what “types” of people I was attracted to in men and women (often I was drawn to masculine women and feminine men), and what I liked had a certain comfortable consistency. Over time I found that I was becoming drawn to traditionally masculine people of both genders— and began to wonder— what was so “bi” about my preferences if the characteristics that were compelling about a person were so close to each other—regardless of the person’s sex?
I became more immersed in both queer and activist culture, and by the end of my teenage years the communities I was involved in became more complicatedly gendered. I had my first close transgendered friend around the time I was eighteen, and became aware of the many trans people in my communities. Soon after, my first girlfriend came out as FtM transsexual (Female to Male.) For many of the young queer people around me, our peers coming out as trans led them to question their own genders. For me, it had me question my sexual orientation, a sexual orientation that I had previously had quite a bit of pride in.
If “bi” literally was to mean “two,” how was I to identify with a sexuality that found me attracted to men and women, both trans and non—trans? Did my preferences including ‘man’ and ‘woman’ have me meet the criteria for bisexuality? Is that what I wanted? Who made this decision? Did bisexuality leave space for me to be attracted to people who identified as both or neither gender, genderqueer or two—spirited? Did, perhaps, the term “pansexual” (definition: One who exhibits or suggests a sexuality that has many different forms, objects, and outlets. One who exhibits many forms of sexual expression), as some suggested, more accurately fit my particular needs and situation? However, regardless of birth-gender or transsexuality, I was still attracted to people who featured similar characteristics in their presentation and personality—my sexuality wasn’t confined by terms of bodies, gender or sex. I certainly wasn’t attracted to all kinds of people either, or even interested in being sexual in a whole variety of ways, as I felt might be indicated should I accept and allow the identification of ‘pansexual.’
Rhetorical Quiz
Throughout the process of becoming content with a self-identification there are, literally, many “questions you ask yourself.” For better or for worse, you are, inevitably, asked many more questions by other people—whether it is any of their concern or not, coming from a place of good intent or not. It is not uncommon for me, or I imagine for others who embody a complicated sexual identity, to find yourself answering other peoples’ questions with things you’ve never consciously given thought to before. Is that true? Do I think/feel/desire that? The pseudo-quiz that follows is not intended to provide answers (“You answered mostly ‘B,’ you are bisexual!”), but instead to provide material for contemplation. How do you perceive yourself and your desires, how would you answer the onslaught of questions having taken a moment to reflect upon them?
- Are you bisexual for being attracted to two genders?
- When you say or hear “both genders” does that include trans men and women?
- Can you be bisexual if you are attracted to two genders, but those genders do not fall gracefully into the categories of “men” and “women”?
- Are you bisexual because you are attracted to two “types” of women?
- Should gender be interchangeable with any other defining feature that makes someone bi? Is the emphasis here on the bi or the sexual?
- Are you bisexual for liking and engaging in sex in two particular ways?
- Where do genderqueer or genderfluid identities fit into our notions of bisexuality? (Defining “genderqueer” or “genderfluid” as a terms which suggest that aside from transgender identities that are rooted in ‘man’ and ‘woman’ that there are also people who’s gender identities transgress those boundries; who may identify as neither or both genders, or with a notion of an alternate or ‘third’ gender. These terms suggest also that there are individuals who are comfortable with, or who have an expectation of a gender identity that continues to shift and redefine itself.)
- If bisexual people are to be at the forefront of the struggles against bi-phobia and homophobia, shouldn’t fighting transphobia and all gender-based oppression also be a part of the bisexual struggle?
- Furthermore, broadening the scope of this non-quiz—does answering any of these questions imply that there are universal bisexual values?
- Who creates those values, is it the bisexual-identified majority? Is there a bisexual majority?
I don’t write this quiz, question my own relationship to bisexuality, or imply that there are bisexual norms as so to be condescending, but more as food for thought. Can there be an answer to any of these questions? Where do you draw the line? And how can we accept that that line is not drawn at the same point for all bi-identified people?
Third-Parties
My friend Jackson, a bisexual transman in his 30’s, shared his opinions on the intersections of trans and bi communities, specifically regarding trans people within bi communities. Jackson suggests that there are trans people, himself included, who he knows who identify as bisexual, as opposed to pansexual or a “newer” or “more complex” orientation. In a day-to-day sense, transgender people are often questioned so much, that they might chose to not want to “have one more thing to explain.”
When asked if he thinks the bisexual community has been accepting and inclusive he says “Sure. But while they’ve been accepting of trans people in bi spaces and of trans people taking part in bi organizing, they haven’t necessarily accepted that to many bisexual trans people, bisexuality is secondary to their transsexuality.” He says that for him, coming out as trans has been a priority in his overall identity, and it’s been much more pressing for him to actively seek out trans community and allies than it has been to seek out bi communities and allies. He says that while he appreciates having the bi community, it is secondary to him. Jackson also highlights that his priorities are not only to seek out trans communities, but that his political commitments draw him to other issues (than bi or trans issues) as far as organizing goes, and that often those are of a higher or more immediate importance to him. His biggest complaint of the bi communities he’s encountered is that they’ve not embraced that being bisexual, or part of a bi community is not going to be the biggest, most important thing in the lives of all bisexuals. The reason for this? Jackson suggests that there is a certain privilege that plays into it, that bi “scenes”—groups and organizations—are primarily white and non-trans and that perhaps these truths shape how people are able to use their time, or prioritize their political commitments.
A colleague, Alice, has quite a different ‘two cents’ to offer when asked about bi/trans intersections and struggles. She is not trans-identified herself, however, she is the partner of a trans person and bi-identified. For her, inclusion in bi community has been a challenge. Alice claims there is a tendency for communities (bi, queer, straight) to weed out what’s difficult for them, difficult to deal with, or to understand. Her relationship not fitting neatly into people’s expectations, has been a problem in the various communities she’s tried to connect with. Alice says she wishes the bisexual community would “embrace the divisions between us and our complicated relationships.” At this point, that has not been her experience.
Another friend, Rayanne, a trans woman, again bisexual in self-identification tells me her main concern in this discussion is how people—again of gay/lesbian, queer, bi and het communities—assume her sexual orientation based on her being trans. “There is never a question in people’s minds, they all assume I am attracted to men exclusively. I was bi before my transition, and that hasn’t changed. I’m not saying that people’s sexualities don’t fluctuate, and can’t be fluid and changing, but that hasn’t been the case for me. I really resent that my gender identification makes people think they know things about me, never mind those being things that aren’t true. It’s a very classically heterosexist view, that you can just decide that you know who someone else loves or sleeps with because of their gender. People, especially queer and bi people, should be able to think beyond that by now.”
During our talk, her friend who is in the room pipes in, “It’s so illogical to me! There are so many similarities between trans and bi communities, and trans and bi struggles generally, it just makes no sense that things are so divisive.”
And so
I regret that this article has been a lot of complaints. In that it’s a bit of a primer in my head, a lot of food for thought, it makes sense to me that it would wind up being such. It’s cliché to say, but I like to think of this as a starting point for conversation, and not the be—all end—all. Ultimately, writing this has been about bridging issues and individuals and communities that are important to me, in what I can only hope has been a meaningful way. Here, I’ve made an initial attempt to show the potential strength in connecting similar struggles, and the strengths that come from a broad range of experience, and from the challenges of that broadness. I think that last comment is true, that there is a general failure to embrace the things that are easier to divide us. It’s my hope that this conversation extends to a range of the places that queer, bisexual, transsexual, pansexual and otherwise gendered and sexual people have discussions. I hope that this conversation happens in the many forums that it’s content exists as an issue, that some progress can be made. I’d like for the theoretic ‘next time’ I interview people on this topic, for their statements to begin with “The great thing about….”
(c) Copryight 2005 Tara-Michelle Ziniuk
Tara-Michelle Ziniuk is a Toronto/Montreal writer, performer, activist, supervillan and princess. She and her alter-ego have been writing the column 'Lydia Lane is Not My Name' for Trade: Queer Things Magazine for the past three years. She writes, rants, lectures, works, complains and fixes on topics of sex, gender, poverty, sex worker rights, housing and harm reduction.
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