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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Ah, it was so good! I look down to see the installation guy swallowing my spunk, his face flushed a very deep shade of red, his hair plastered on his head from all the sweating he'd been doing. I look up... and the neighbor is dancing a jig and if I wasn't in the middle of coming down from just having busted a nut, I would have laughed.

The installer releases me and sits back on his haunches and looking at me like I just gave him a million dollars. I want to suck this guy's dick so I ask him, "Do you want to get done?"

He says, "I'm good - I don't like having my dick sucked." He pulls his dick out and holy shit - dude has a big, fat dick and he looks like he's so hard that it had to hurt. He starts jerking himself off while gently licking my cock and balls and literally a few second later, he cums... and there's a lot of it and enough to make me groan to see so much spunk being wasted.

"I'll clean that up," he said once he stuff that beautiful cock back into his pants and pointing to the now cooling puddle of spunk on the hardwood floor in front of him. After he did that, he finished the install, tested the system - it was all good - and thanked me for his first Black cock experience before going to his next install.

I'm sitting at my desk and shaking my head; what is it about me that just tells guys I'm into this? I'd been trying to figure this out for years and I was still no closer to figuring it out. I guess I had been sitting there for almost an hour when I hear someone knocking on the door and I'm wondering who it might be - could the installer have decided he wanted more? If so, shit - dude was gonna get that dick sucked whether he liked that or not![/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]I was going to suggest that we go to the bedroom and get comfortable... but he had other ideas; he had my pants and underwear down around my ankles pretty quickly and dropped to his knees, cupping my balls gently and launched into a, ah, verbal appreciation of my dick before taking me into his mouth.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]My goodness... this guy was seriously hungry! Other than his flattering comments, he didn't waste any time fawning over my dick, you know, giving it little licks and kisses. Nope - he opened his mouth and pretty much slammed his face into my crotch hard enough to make me lose my balance for a moment... and then, with a moan that sent chills through me, started sucking my dick as if his life depended on it.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]He was very good. Lips, tongue, just the right amount of teeth involved, changing the amount of suction on my dick and even stopped sucking me so that he could suck on my nuts. I'm standing there - barely - watching him sucking me... and only then realized that I'm facing the big picture window that overlooks the backyard... and the backyard of the home directly behind mine... and there's the guy who lives there (with his family), leaning on his lawnmower... and watching me getting my dick sucked.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]And he waved at me and gave me a thumbs-up! I'm not embarrassed but I was thinking, "Shit..." - but I put the thought out of my mind because I can feel the pressure building, signaling my imminent release. I had my hands on his head, not to face fuck him but to keep from falling over; my legs are trembling, this guy has all of my dick buried deep in his mouth and throat - the neighbor is doing fist-pumps as he's watching - and I cum and it was very intense.[/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]If this curious, annoying, and very funny situation didn't teach me anything, it taught me how to make snap decisions in a short period of time. Now, um, whew, most of the time, the guy would get to suck my dick because, um, why not? Sometimes I'd get a bad vibe coming from the guy and I'd put on my indignant act - what kind of guy do you think I am? - and put some distance between us.

One day, I had taken the day off from work waiting for someone to come and install my new dedicated high speed DSL line. The guy shows up - on time - and he's running around all over the place getting stuff installed and I just kinda watched him do his thing. At one point, he had to leave the house and go to the local telephone junction to wave his fingers over something; he came back about fifteen minutes later, wiped some sweat from his brow and asked, "Can I ask you something?"

I'm thinking it's related to why he's there so I tell him to ask his question and out of the clear blue sky he asks, "Can I suck your dick?"

What? I'm totally blindsided by this unexpected question and while I'm standing there wondering where the fuck this came from, he's explaining himself, telling me how much he enjoys sucking cock but he'd never sucked a Black guy's cock before. Okay... I've heard this one before but I still ask him, "What makes you think I'd be down for that?"

"I just feel it," he said. He's so nervous it was actually kinda funny, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, sweating like a fiend even though the AC was on in the house... and he had a tent in his pants. It got even funnier because he's telling me that if I'm offended, it's no big deal and apologizing for offending me and, well, I thought he was just too cute to say no to - but I wasn't beyond making him sweat some more before finally saying, "Sure, if that's what you want to do - I don't have a problem with it."[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I've been of a mind that I've been walking around with a sign on me that told men to talk to me for a good time. I've had total strangers come up to me and start talking, sometimes about nothing at all, the weather, asking me what time it is, stuff like that and sometimes, as they're talking to me, I've wondered why and especially if I'm not the only person - or the closest one - they could strike up a conversation with.

It would often get so... bad that I'd become immediately suspicious because I was going through a rash of guys asking me if they could suck my dick. When I was younger, eh, it wasn't that big of a deal since, most of the time, the guys asking if they could blow me were guys I knew and they'd blown me before. Getting into the teen years started the rush of strangers hitting on me and continued on through my adult years. Every now and then, someone I knew well would surprise me but I'd had so many experiences with guys asking me this question that all I had to do was just listen carefully to whatever they were saying - and how they were saying it - for me to guess that "the question" was going to be asked.

It went from being flattering to annoying at times especially when having sex - period - was the last thing on my mind and not even looking to whip my dick out for some guy. Still, a lot of these situations were pretty funny to watch as a guy would tap dance all over the place, talking about a whole lot of nothing and getting up the courage to pop the question - and a question I knew was coming. Some guys would get right to the point, like this one guy who approached me as I waited for a bus and just said, "Hey, um, listen - can I suck your dick?"

Or the many guys who would go on and on rambling about stuff and so much that I'd preempt them and ask, "Is there something you wanna ask me?"[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]So while I'd suck pretty much anyone's dick (but not the uncut ones), not everyone could fuck me, not like it used to be. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what guy would be the "right one" to slide his cock into me and I never really figured it out... but I'd somehow know that I'd want this guy or that guy to fuck me and if I hadn't learned anything else, I had learned to trust my instincts totally and completely.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]I had to accept that I'd know when I wanted and needed to be fucked... so I should do just that and, besides, hadn't I already broken that supposedly solemn promise to never have anal sex again? Yeah... and quite a few times and it bothered me to have to admit that to myself. Sometimes the guys I wanted to fuck me didn't want to fuck me - they wanted to be fucked and, for the longest time, I just wouldn't do it... but I'd listen to my body and again make exceptions. Sometimes a guy would be sucking on my dick for an unusually long time and I wouldn't be anywhere near busting a nut and fucking him was the only way I was going to get off. And a lot of guys would pick up on the fact that I wasn't gonna cum with them sucking me and tell me that maybe I need to fuck them to get off... so stick it in them and fuck them until I came.

And I'd do it... and I hated the fact that I'd once again broken that stupid promise I made to myself. Even today, as I write this, I feel like an idiot for having made that promise even though I understand why I did; fucking a guy didn't have anything to do with me being fucked but I was of a mind that I wasn't going to do something to someone that I didn't want done to me and while it was all noble and all that, I had to recognize and accept that if I wanted and needed to cum and being sucked wasn't working - and the guy had no problem with taking me in his ass, well, needs must. They always must.

So being fucked as a matter of course wasn't fun for me... but being fucked when I wanted to? When my body was telling me that I needed to be fucked? Well, that worked. It was fun again. But I also realized that for me, it had to be the right guy at the right moment - there was no getting away from that strong impression and understanding that my instincts would tell me if it was the right guy at the right moment.

I love being fucked. Just a thing that not everyone who'd want to fuck me is gonna be able to fuck me. I still hate being in the missionary position - my hips just won't ever move like that and it is what it is. The best part is still that moment when the guy is busting a nut in me and you best believe that he'd better bust it in me because I don't play that pulling out and cumming all over me shit - ever. I have literally punched guys in the face for doing that and have broken a few noses and knocked some teeth loose for not dumping their sperm into my ass - and like they're fucking supposed to do.[/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]So instead of feeling his spunk oozing out of me, he'd squirt his jizz all in between my cheeks and making me all sticky and squishy and I didn't mind all that much because he did fuck me just the same. I had to learn to not be disappointed with those guys who, when they tried to get it in me, their dick would get soft and wouldn't get hard until they stopped trying to get it in me. It took me a while to figure out why that would happen and I knew it wasn't me - it was them and their inability to deal with the revulsion that can be felt trying to shove their dick into somebody's asshole and knowing what comes out of that hole.

Sometimes guys would fuck me for a very long time... and they couldn't cum and sometimes being fucked for that long a time got to be very uncomfortable and if he didn't give up, I'd just ask him to stop, pull out, and I'd jerk him off or give his dick a good cleaning and suck him off. Disappointing but, again, I was learning that it was just something else that could happen and there were too many things one could point a finger to for it not to happen.

But I still got fucked just the same. Small dicks. Stupidly big dicks. Fat ones... skinny ones... cut and uncut ones. A whole lot of sperm being injected into me... and only a tiny amount of it. It didn't matter so much because I lived for the moment to feel a dick get bigger in my ass (although, sometimes, some guys didn't get bigger) and then feel it pumping away inside me.

So good. So nasty. A guy would pull out and I'd hear the sound being made which just added to the delicious nastiness of just having been fucked and creamed. The soreness and that stupefying empty feeling, well, I didn't like them... but it was the price one paid in order to be fucked. And with every time I got fucked, I learned what girls liked and hated about it, how good it could feel and how it could be the worst decision one could make. Some guys were gentle... and some guys just weren't; some would do their best to make it good for me and others just didn't give a fuck if I liked/enjoyed what they were doing or not. And I had to learn to just go with the flow and accept the fact that I wanted or agreed to be fucked... and that's what happened.

And then, inexplicably, it stopped being fun to be fucked. Well, except when my brother would fuck me - that was always a great pleasure. I'd spent a night with a guy with a whopping 13" dick and it wasn't that he hurt me or fucked me badly because he was very gentle and careful but when we got done and he went on about his business, the whole thing made me sit and think about whether being fucked was as much fun as I thought I knew it to be.

And it wasn't. So I vowed to never be fucked again because I didn't see the point in getting my asshole gaped open and I wasn't enjoying it as much as I once did. I even thought that having the biggest dick I've ever dealt with was the reason why it was no longer fun to be fucked... but that, I learned, wasn't the cause of the way I was feeling about it. It just wasn't fun anymore and that guy with the stupidly big dick was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It took me a whole lot of years to get back to being fucked. Even though I had sworn off of anal sex - giving and receiving - well, I guess you can say that I lied to myself about it because my brother could fuck me and it was all good and sometimes I'd be with a guy, we're sucking the skin off of each other and my body is telling me that I needed that dick inside me. And, at first, I would ignore what my body was telling me but then, okay, I'd make and exception for particular guys who weren't my brother. It never got back to being as much fun as it was before but I couldn't keep ignoring the fact that with some guys, I needed their dick inside me - I just understood that letting anyone who wanted to fuck me do that wasn't my idea of fun any longer.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Sometimes it would feel so good and I'd be so comfortable being fucked that I'd often find myself nodding off, not really taking a nap but not really being awake. Having a guy's weight on me was comforting as was the steady rhythm of him thrusting into me and sometimes it would be a bit hypnotic, putting me in a kind of trance and, sometimes, giving me a rude awakening when he cried out that he was gonna cum or the "next thing I knew" his dick was pumping away crazily inside me.

Which always felt heavenly but would also make me feel like I missed something... well, um, everything after he shoved his dick into my ass. Sometimes, it just wasn't fun to be fucked and I'd find myself underneath some guy and he's plowing my ass... and I'm mad with myself for wanting him to fuck me and wishing he'd hurry up and cum. And a few times, I just told the guy to stop and get off me and, yeah, sometimes, I had to make him get out and off of me.

Sometimes I'd feel like a girl; the feeling was both exciting and very disturbing because I really did understand what was being done to me. But most of the time, it was just exciting and comforting to feel a hard dick being squeezed into my ass, feeling the muscles moving aside to admit him while trying to evict him at the same time. Then the thrusting and screwing and, again, I'd often zone out and the only thing I was aware of was that hard dick moving in and out of me.

Then the pumping. The sweet, beautiful and amazing pumping. Being inseminated. So awfully nasty to know that what he was really "trying" to do was make me pregnant which, of course, was impossible but still - he was doing to me what I'd do to both girls and other guys. Knowing how and why he was using me for his own pleasure and, sometimes, making me feel so dirty that no amount of soap and water would get me feeling clean again.

Then those rare moments when I'd find myself on my back, legs and hips being stressed in ways I knew I didn't like one bit... but being able to look down between us and see the guy's dick in me, watching it going in and out of me and feeling very girly while being fascinated that there was a hard dick in me - again - and somewhere along the line, he was going to pump his spunk into me.

And the only thing better than that was my being the one doing the fucking.

Even when, for some reason, the guy couldn't get his dick into me, gods, it felt good to feel his dick sliding around between my butt cheeks, the head of his dick either bumping against my hole or he's just got it pressed against my hole; I can feel my hole opening up and wondering why he wasn't able to get inside me, something that used to bug me but sometimes getting it in me - and no matter how easy it was - just didn't happen.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Between the ages of nine and, oh, twenty-four or so, I loved being fucked. It was scary, nasty, and terribly exciting. It didn't change my behavior when it came to having sex with girls but if nothing else, I got a great appreciation knowing what it was like to have a hard dick inside of you and squirting sperm into you.

My favorite position to be fucked in was to lie on my stomach and lifting my butt up just a bit; I'd been fucked in other positions and being in the missionary position was - and still is - my least favorite position because my hips have never wanted to behave right. Still, oh, it was so exciting to know that a guy was going to fuck me, to be lying there and, first, feeling his finger in my ass to spread whatever lube was available, then to feel him crawl on top of me and pressing his dick against my hole.

Then feeling that moment of pain/discomfort - and depending on the size of the dick - as the guy's boner went in me, sometimes slowly and a few times so fast I actually barfed a few times. I had long since learned to relax as the dick was going in me and it would hurt so good and once the guy got as far into me as he could, he'd start to fuck me.

Sometimes slowly, sometimes so hard and fast that my whole body would get shaken up and making me feel kinda sick to my stomach. But the feeling would pass and I loved having him on top of me, thrusting into me, cussing, calling on god or jesus, even telling me how good my asshole felt to them while waiting with anticipation to feel his dick get bigger in my butt - then feel him pumping sperm into me. And while I didn't always feel that first big shot of spunk, there was no mistaking that intense pumping.

The bad part? Well, for one, when the guy finally pulled out, I'd feel so empty and that feeling was bothersome and one that I never really got used to. The other? Yeah... depending on the size of the dick, my ass would be sore and I'd find myself "walking funny" and sitting down sometimes wasn't fun at all.[/SIZE][/FONT]